How Not to Celebrate Milestone Anniversaries

This week, my husband and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. Well, that's not entirely true because we barely celebrated. To be honest, I cannot remember a single time we've done anything remotely significant to memorialize our milestones. Still, I'm blown away by the fact that we've reached these milestones and I'm grateful to God for getting us through obstacles and challenges that might have foiled other couples. Marriage is hard work, and we've seen our fair share of difficulties. I just wish we exhibited more gumption in celebrating that hard work. It deserves more than we give it. Don't make our mistakes!

At our 10th anniversary, we were fresh on the heels of a year and half long separation. I couldn't find a lick of evidence remaining on how we celebrated our 15th anniversary in 2005, between the births of our second and third sons. I know I was pining for a third child. I wanted to give our middle son a closer sibling, a shorter gap than the 8 years between our first two sons. For our 20th anniversary, I did not mark the occasion with a blog post. It seems we went away to our annual  Wisconsin Bible camp, CBLI. Often, John would drive out to the camp and we would go out for dinner while another camper kept an eye on our sons. It appears he did not drive up that year (a bit farther from IN than it was when we lived in IL - or perhaps that was the year he went to leave, only to find a flat tire on the truck).

I did recognize our 25th annniversary with this blog post, but cannot remember doing anything significant to celebrate it. Our 30th anniversary fell in 2020. Yes, you guessed it! We didn't do anything to celebrate. I made up this list of 30 small ways to observe our anniversary and we ended up not completing more than a handful of those 30 ideas. We have prayed together more in the past five years than ever before! (Praise God! That is more important than a wealth of celebrations!) We had dinner out and a trip to Dairy Queen. We exchanged cards and he filled my gas tank (fairly standard stuff). Finally, we watched one of our favorite romantic movies, Somewhere in Time, set in the location we had hoped to visit to mark our 25th (Mackinac Island).

At the beginning of this year, I sent John an email bursting with ideas for possible celebrations. I am mindful of the fact that he doesn't care for travelling. Indeed, as I age, even I'm finding long trips less and less appealing. I long for the comfort of my own home and dread hours in a car on highways. I outlined ideas for lengthier trips to Michigan and Ohio. I tried to find areas with special bird sanctuaries since that is something that appeals to my husband. There were smaller trips to Illinois or right within our state of Indiana.

Then, on May 1st, our lives turned upside down and complications at home made all efforts at planning a trip impossible. We still hope to get away at some point, but I fear, like the list of 30 small observances, in the end we will be proof to all of "how not to celebrate milestone anniversaries." I guess the key is SETTLE. Assume big outlandish efforts out of the question. Follow the path of least resistance.

A few days before our anniversary, we had an argument. I had visions of no celebration at all, but John made an effort, nonetheless. Thus, for our 35th, we drove to a small town a half hour away, stayed in an average hotel, and visited an expensive restaurant. Apart from the meatloaf (perhaps I should have selected that), I couldn't find anything appealing to me, so I settled for a burger and sweet potato fries. We did splurge on peanut butter pie for dessert and, even though we didn't need it, it was amazing!

I know I sound whiny. The disappointment is palpable. I had longed to take a trip to Barcelona, Spain, to see the La Sagrada Familia because it was expected to be completed in 2025. Alas, our passports have expired. International travel feels out of the question. (Sadly, even interstate travel feels out of the question.) Moreover, due to the pandemic, the deadline for completion of that landmark was pushed back. When I searched for the new completion date, AI gave me this as an answer:

"The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona is scheduled to be structurally completed in 2026. This completion will mark the end of over 140 years of construction, with the final touches being added to the Tower of Jesus Christ and the Chapel of the Assumption. While the main structure is slated for completion in 2026, some decorative elements and the controversial entranceway are expected to continue until 2034, according to Dezeen." 

For now, I'll have to settle for this 15-minute YouTube tour of this magnificent Basilica. Hey, in watching, I can forego the stressful flights, the expensive lodging and food, and the exhausting hassle of travel. Of course, I'm sure this is nothing like what my son exclaimed when I asked him his favorite destination from their European travels. He said the eye could not help but move upward and it had to be experienced in the flesh. 

Perhaps when our family crisis calms to a trickle we will make more of an effort to mark the momentous milestone many couples these days only dream of - 35 years of hard-fought matrimony. In this day and age of disposable relationships, we have much to thank God for! We cling to him with eyes on further milestones together. We just don't do well at celebrating these achievements. If you have any advice to counter our abysmal example, please feel free to share. Maybe we can make a go of it yet!