My oldest son attended 3 proms - his junior and senior years and then a return trip his freshman year at Purdue because his then girlfriend was a year younger. I was only requisitioned to take photos once (he is fully aware of my abysmal track record in photography). Trevor is only a sophomore, but his girlfriend is a year older. Her school originally cancelled their prom, but a group of students and parents rented out a wedding barn to hold their own prom last Saturday (thus, the early date). Perhaps Trev will be a three-prommer, as well.
I struggle with lighting issues, wobbly hands, and more, but these were the best of the photos from my camera:
Don't care for this pose (cannot see their faces), but it shows the sparkles of Kylie's dress. Then, they requested photos with us (never done that before):
Warren is an outstanding writer and excellent storyteller. She sweeps you into the book with her introductory story of her sudden desire to pray Compline while she was in the midst of a miscarriage. I could fully relate. When I had my miscarriage, I felt an urgency to sing Amy Grant's song, "The Lord Has a Will." (The Lord has a will, and I have a need, to follow that will, to humbly be still, to nest in it, rest in it, fully be blessed in it, following my Father's will.) There is a strange comfort that can come over you when you focus your mind away from your difficulties and onto a pattern of words that bring you into God's presence and remind you of His sovereignty and care.
Each section of the book breaks down a part of the Compline prayer (those who weep, watch, work, sleep, are sick, weary, dying, suffering, afflicted, joyous). I finished with multiple Post-It flag markers peeking out from the side of the book. So many articulations of things I want to remember. Her words about Christ weeping over Jerusalem especially resonated: "Any mother who has had to sit and watch her child destroy himself, watch her beloved walk into destruction, abuse, or addiction, watch as the one she sang over disappears into someone she cannot recognize, knows something about how Jesus wept over Jerusalem."
I loved the pastor's words after her best friend confessed his "most secret sin:" - "We need you in our church, not in spite of your struggle, but because of it." Powerful, redemptive words - our vulnerabilities and brokenness allow the light of God to shine through. Those failings "can be the raw material God uses to bring us to the truth about who we are and who he is." In the section on dying, she acknowledges such an important truth: "There is no darkness into which he has not descended. He knows the texture and taste of everything I most fear."
As if reiterating the idea of the "upside-down kingdom," she writes: "We are topsy-turvy. We don't know what's best for us. The things I'm most afraid of are often the very things that will set me free. The desolate places in my life that I most want to avoid are the very places God wants to meet me.... The way to save my life is to lose it." I loved the way she phrased it: "Suffering gives us new eyes; it teaches us to see in the dark." When we desperately want to run from the dark, we should run toward it, knowing it will teach us things we could learn in no other way.
I'm so glad I discovered this book on my library's recent acquisitions list. Besides the benefit of many highlighted passages (perhaps I should buy the book), I also enjoyed the section of discussion questions and practices to accompany each chapter. I'm always looking for things to prompt contemplation in my morning writing. These questions bring the reader closer to the material. If you are experiencing a dark patch in your life, you might benefit from reading Warren's book about this Compline prayer.
I saw you there across the room (okay, on the library search engine when I looked up Bradbury's book), and immediately felt smitten. You struck me as oh-so-clever and unique. Your style so interesting and appealing. What an original angle to write love letters and break-up notes to books. You can tell my appreciation; after all, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" (wait, am I mediocre to your greatness?? if you know the full quote). You made me feel like we were old friends sitting around gossiping about the books we've known. I played along, even though it seems we don't run in the same circles.
That voice, so conversational. But, oh my! What a mouth you have on you! Didn't you ever hear that saying, "cursing is the sign of an unimaginative mind?" I cut you some slack because, hey, I wanted to hear what books you loved and what ones you spurned. Besides, it is far easier to skim past vulgarities in a physical book as opposed to an audio book. Alas, the crass profanity should have put me on alert. Was I surprised that your list included er0t1ca?
Still, we had some good times, didn't we? Ah, the laughs at the ancient book on calculator fun. You had me playing right along when you introduced the quiz about celebrity book titles. I felt we bonded over our mutual traumatization from Misery. Plus, we do share that same love for the thesaurus. You sparked my interest in a few of your friends/titles: The Goldfinch, Whatever Makes You Happy, and Amy Falls Down. Heck, I even told my sons about you (sharing the hilarious term "s'mlesses").
But, at the end of the day, I still think I'm leaving you on the library shelves. It's not you; it's me. I just think we're too different. After all, it is like Edmund Wilson said (thanks for sharing his quote with me): "No two persons ever read the same book." I think what you look for in books and what I'm looking for may just be too different to mesh. If I see you again, I'll probably wave, but don't take offense if I turn away to hang with my own friends. At least you won't end up with 1 thumb down (my designation when I wish I could just get back the time invested). You're bound to hook up with someone else who can appreciate you for all you have to give. If nothing else, I'm sure librarians will swoon over you.
Thanks for a few tender moments in the stacks.
Wendy
In case you've ignored recommendations and or held off, Fahrenheit 451 offers a future society where firemen don't put out fires. Instead, they burn forbidden books. Fireman Guy Montag and his wife Millie have been living anesthetized lives, the ultimate goal in that society. Millie clamors for yet another wall-sized screen so she can view her shows. Then a neighbor girl awakens within Guy a desire for books and knowledge. Flouting his own role, he hides several books in his ventilator grill. Then he shares his secret. Before he knows it, he is called upon to burn his own house and books. In a desperate attempt to avoid arrest, Guy flees on foot. He joins a group of intellectual fugitives who have memorized important books in the hope that society will once again recognize their value.
In reading this tale, I felt one finger pointed at me and several pointing in the opposite direction, supporting my perspectives. I have, myself, complained about the content of books, wishing away the foul language, the explicit sex scenes, the constant inclusion of immorality posed as good. It is hard not to desire sanitized versions when so much filth proliferates these days. I decry that progression. Yet Bradbury's argument actually supports my feelings. If current publishers (as Bradbury himself acknowledges in the afterward sections of this 2004 production by Books on Tape) censor what they provide the public in books and stories, they are altering an author's presentation to make it more palatable for their viewpoint. In one instance, Bradbury claims they rejected one story because it contains "only men, no women."
What a predicament we are in! Isn't it censorship when so many literary agents will only accept and promote books that contain elements to fit their agenda? Publishers, too, feel a need to encourage society in particular directions, so they proliferate literature that supports their worldview. I believe they are even injecting content that authors have not included, making sure they fairly represent certain groups, controlling content to make sure it is politically correct. Literature has always reflected the mores of society. Is it any wonder that as our society slips further and further into rebellion against God and His directives, so our books reflect this decline?
Fahrenheit 451 reveals the battle that rages within me. Even though I readily admit the value of some books that contain what I find offensive, I personally want to censor out the profuse garbage in modern books. Yet, I equally agree that censorship is harmful (especially the opposing censorship that seeks to justify and control what perspectives are pushed in books). Bradbury has so many good things to say at the end of this book (although I did not have time to go back and listen to jot down his well-articulated ideas). Needless to say, this is a book that will generate plenty of thought.
Books are doors into the mind of another. They help us expand our understanding of the world. Like all good gifts from God, we can handle them for good or for ill. My goal is to use books in a way that is God-honoring. I am grateful for the opportunity to make my own choices about what I read, and equally grateful that books offer such a wide variety to consume. I don't think I'd have it in me to burn a book, even one presenting an argument that conflicts with my personal perspectives. But, when I look at our current society, I fear we are heading further on the road to censorship, as any opposing perspectives are clamped shut so that only "acceptable" narratives are presented.
"In Ex Libris, the Pulitzer Prize-winning literary critic Michiko Kakutani shares her enthusiasm for more than 100 books: novels and memoirs by some of today's most gifted writers, favorite classics worth reading or rereading, and nonfiction works that illuminate our social and political landscape and such pressing issues as climate change, medicine, and the consequences of digital innovation. With Dana Tanamachi's richly detailed illustrations that evoke vintage bookplates, Ex Libris is a timely reminder of why reading matters more than ever."
I have only read a fourth of the titles on Kakutani's list. Moreover, I do not share her political perspectives. Still, this book provided a thrilling peek into many noteworthy titles and increased my ever-growing list of books-to-read. It enticed me to add titles like Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio, Roz Chast's Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?, Dave Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Laura Hillenbrand's Seabiscuit, Mary Karr's The Liar's Club, Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs, and Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch. Her descriptions are delightful and her bookish-enthusiasm breathtaking.
I tell you, parenting teens is tough! So many emotions swirl around me when I consider the precious years I have left with my two youngest sons. I waver between relief and remorse that in only a few years they'll be out of our home. This limited amount of time is both a blessing and a challenge. How will I ever get these two prepared for the world they will enter when they leave us? How can I slow down time to savor each available moment?
Paul David Tripp's instructive book, Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, encourages parents not to view the teen years as something to survive, but to view them as an opportunity for investing growth. I love Tripp's perspective. He reminds parents that the very things that incense us about our teenagers reflect sin issues within ourselves. He asserts his core truth as "Our teenagers are more like us than they are unlike us.... All of the spiritual needs we will recognize in our teenagers are in some way identifiable in us." Yes, on plenty of occasions, I have approached my heavenly Father with the attitude that I know everything, including what is best for me.
I agreed wholeheartedly with Tripp's insights, especially in regard to parenting my particularly rebellious teenager. The other day, I read a post on Facebook about a respected psychologist whose teen son took one fatal experiment with a drug. She was an educated and informed parent. He was a good kid. Yet, still, the encounter with fentanyl stripped them both of the lives they expected to live. It incensed me when I read one particular commenter's callous remarks. This woman (from her vast realm of experience, obviously) blamed the parent. Her first comment was, "Why is a teen allowed access to drugs?" It was as if every response emboldened her further: "What [about] DARE... or good old-fashioned values of 'just say no' - so many parents are out of touch with their kids. 100 percent the parents' fault if the kid is underage." This commenter admitted her children are 9 and 4. May she never receive the boomerang from her insensitive and judgmental words.
As onlookers have watched our rebellion issues, they have asserted it is a matter of enforced rules and parental control. This author counters that argument and supports my perspective: "It is a short-term victory at best to control the behavior of a teen whose heart is not submissive to God.... The rules-and-regulations approach that focuses on keeping the teenager 'out of trouble' will ultimately fail because it does not deal with the heart.... All such parental interventions are attempts to produce what only God can produce. They... produce... fruit that decays as soon as the pressure is removed."
So what does Tripp suggest? Above all, we should demonstrate the grace that God bestows upon us when we sin. We should guide our children into biblically based views on life and culture. He also highlights three strategies: project parenting, constant conversation, and leading your teenager to repentance. John and I both continue to pray for godly heart changes in our sons, the changes only God can produce. The drives to and from my prodigal son's ranch job have been such a blessing. He is often a captive audience, and it allows me to pursue that constant conversation.
I loved that Tripp points the parent reader to reflect on their own sin-tendencies and to view every challenge as an opportunity to demonstrate and display God's grace. This was a reminder I needed to hear. It shifts anger at rebellion into calmer understanding and a more humble response. I recommend this book to anyone who struggles with parenting teens. Plus, here is a link to the video that first introduced me to Paul David Tripp - The Gospel Coalition presentation called "Mirror of Sin and Means of Grace: Parents Are Works in Progress, Too." Highly recommend it!
