Speaking My Son's Language

For as long as I can remember, my oldest son, Bryce, has loved to speak in unusual ways. When he was seven he took on the language style of the "Ed, Edd, and Eddy Show," much to my mother's consternation. I can remember one spring break visit when she would say, "I'm only speaking to Bryce ... not Edd." We have videos of him prancing around, using his Edd voice (a moronic simpering tone, if you've never seen the inane Cartoon Network show).

These voices and language styles change about every six months or so. I may have mentioned his previous "Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne" phrase, which he used ad nauseum. The little boys would use the phrase, too.

I'd say, "Time to clean your room."

They'd reply, "Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne," combined with a swinging hand motion.

Somehow the "Ne" became "Ner" and the "Ner" became a whole language with specific rules.

Here is an example, taken from a note he left near the coffee machine Thursday night:

"Lert mer slerp ern ernterl serven therter. Yer be terken mer."

It would sound exactly as it reads. He has eliminated vowels and replaced them with "er." Every word like is, am, are, was ... reverts to "be."

Thus, his message translates: Let me sleep until seven thirty. You are taking me.

What a crazy kid he is. His little brothers run to greet him at the door with a "Heller Berce. Her yer be?" His friends talk like this, as well.

It seems he infects everyone he comes in contact with. I went to pick him up from music camp this past summer and the kids he had been with for only a few days greeted me with a "Heller." (which actually, if following the rules, should probably be "herler."

We keep saying we should write down his various catch phrases (like another current one: "it be ight" for it's all right) and make up a whole Bryce Dictionary to document his unique language development for future times. At least it is documented here.

So, if yer ser herm, be sure ter ser heller!