The need for prayer continues, but here's a brief follow-up to
my recent pressing prayers:
My parents - My dad's quadruple bypass heart surgery on February 22nd went well. He had three 99% blockages and one 70% blockage. His continued vitality is a gift to our whole family. My sister went to stay with my mother during the week of his hospitalization. Thankfully, some gracious church members came over for a few hours each day, allowing Dawn to visit my dad in the hospital. He assumed he would be in the hospital for a week and then return fully capable of providing my mother's care.
As Dawn's departure date approached, we realized he could not manage this on his own while recovering from open heart surgery. Thus, I scrambled to schedule a last-minute flight (the most expensive kind, sadly) and I went to provide their care for the second week after his surgery. As Dawn was preparing to leave, she was greatly distressed to learn that their assisted living facility requires a post-surgery stint in a rehabilitation facility. I was extremely grateful for this development.
He was transported to a rehab facility that is aligned with their community and is only 1/10th of a mile away. Thus, two days after I arrived, I walked my mother over (in her power wheelchair) to his facility, picked him up and walked them back to their apartment, pushing him in a wheelchair (forming a hilarious wheelchair parade) while carefully avoiding ruts in the sidewalk. He had hoped to pay his March rent while home, but the bill had not yet arrived. So, he ended up coming to visit 2 more times before finally returning home for good on the day of my departure.
Given the stress and strain of caring for my Alzheimer's-afflicted mother, I was grateful that he was receiving excellent care separate from the apartment. Believe me, I had my hands full. Plus, I now have an increased awareness and appreciation for all my father does to meet my mother's care needs. Her schedule of meds, meals, bathroom trips, and eye drops was exhausting. We survived several messy challenges and a few Alzheimer-induced episodes of agitation. Humor helped get us through. I had packed slogan t-shirts exclusively. Every few minutes, she asked to read my shirt again. 😂
While I was grateful for the time spent with my mother in their apartment, I was thrilled to return to my quiet, unharried life at home in Indiana with my boy gang. She was cooperative and thankful for my care, for the most part. She did not remember who I was (apart from a few instances when she answered that question correctly), but seemed to sense that I was someone special to her and someone she could rely on to meet her needs. A few times, she said, "You take such good care of me." Twice during the night, when coughing spells would overtake her, I was able to rub her arm and pray with her. The cough went away after both prayers. Praise God! I was also blessed by her reaction to my book. I brought one along with me and read to her the words of dedication, thanking her for her spiritual, emotional, and literary encouragement. She seemed lucid and genuinely touched. When I read her a few of the poems, she responded with appreciation. How much really got in, I don't know. But I tried to communicate that piece.
I believe my mother is at the point of needing the professional, round-the-clock care of an Alzheimer's ward. My father still seems hesitant to make that change. He doesn't want her over-medicated (although, her current meds are already at a level that I struggled with). He wants to give her the comfort of his continued presence. Yet, I think he would still be able to visit with her for a majority of the day, while knowing her more intense needs are met by nursing professionals. I also gained respect for the nurses who provide tireless care. Those who came in to bathe my mother were patient and loving, even as she fought them.
For me, the most difficult episode came toward the end of my visit. It was already stressful enough because my ride to the airport was scheduled to arrive at 3 p.m. This hinged on my father's anticipated release at 11 (always in question, because those facilities don't often sign you out when expected) and my brother's arrival (driving from KY) at 1 p.m. Thankfully, as hoped, my dad returned around 11 and my brother arrived shortly after noon. Because of prostate issues, my dad was still using a catheter and the line had ruined his few pairs of pants. Thus, at 1:45, he suddenly remembered he wanted Mark to take him to purchase new pants and pick up one of my mother's prescriptions. Within moments, he went from sitting snuggled right next to my mother on the couch, to shuffling out the door and off to the store and pharmacy.
If you've ever encountered an Alzheimer's patient, you know that abrupt changes can trigger agitation. This was agitation on steroids. She did NOT want me there and let me know it with a barrage of vehement words. She resented my not allowing her to go with her "friend." Even though I understood that her verbal attack was simply her Alzheimer's raging, it is hard not to feel emotional in such situations. Then, she grabbed up her walker and threatened to go find her mother. I followed her at a distance and tried to text my dad to request his return. No response. She was about to enter someone else's apartment. I talked her out of that and eventually she tired enough to sit on the hallway bench. Eager to get her back into her apartment, I suggested we look for her mother in her apartment. She went in, closed the door quickly behind her, and locked me out.
Thankfully, a nurse at the nurse's station unlocked the door and encouraged my mom to sit on the couch. I scrambled to put on her favorite musical, Meet Me in St. Louis (something that always occupies her thoroughly), and avoided any eye contact until Mark and my dad returned (at 2:50 p.m.). When I gave hasty good-byes, my mother looked up with sad eyes and said, "Oh, you have to go???" She had no memory of her intense railing against me. Such is the disease.
Although my dad sailed through the first two weeks of recovery, he is experiencing more fatigue now. His body is working full-time to repair from the invasive surgery. Thankfully, my brother was able to provide assistance for two weeks. We continue to pray for his recovery and the best possible arrangements for care for both of my parents.
Meanwhile, on the home front:
John - At my husband's doctor appointment, the hernia surgeon said it was NOT a hernia, but rather just a weak area in the abdominal wall. Of course, the bulging didn't occur while in the doctor's office. After a few weeks of further bulging and discomfort, John called again and requested further testing. With his prior hernia, 6 years ago, he didn't experience the pain he is having this time around. It continues to bulge and to cause radiating pain in his lower abdomen. He underwent an ultrasound, but that was not helpful in identifying the source of the pain either. For now, he has been told twice now, "Monitor the pain and take a photo when the bulge appears." It is frustrating to have no answers and face continued pain. He now wears a hernia belt, and that helps somewhat. We will persist in praying for God to give the doctors wisdom to ferret out the source of this issue. Our spring visit to Texas is tentatively scheduled in May. Praying we will not have to alter those flight arrangements.
Trevor - In addition to January's loss of Trevor's car, he was experiencing dissatisfaction with his fast food job. Then, in February, he lost his job. This (in addition to his insistence on repairing his beloved car) added further turmoil. We are praising God that he was able to find another job after a few weeks of looking. Now, if we could get the damaged car off our lawn (next to the driveway), it would be marvelous. He has a friend with some mechanical skills and they attempted to replace the part where the wheel bent away from the axle. If they can get that repaired and replace the tire that took the impact of the hit to the bridge, he's hoping (since the car still starts) they will be able to move it into the garage. These challenges have wrought a change in him and we suspect there may be something going on, of which we are unaware. We continue to pray for his job and car situations, and for the sense of responsibility these issues require. We also pray for parenting wisdom as he remains living in our home.
Sean - While I was gone in Florida (assisting my parents), Sean suffered a knee injury after playing basketball with friends. He has joined male volleyball at school, so instead of resting it, he was jumping on it and causing more stress and strain. We finally scheduled a doctor appointment and he was instructed to take an NSAID, stay off the leg for two weeks, and ice it twice a day for a half hour. We continue to pray for the knee to heal properly so he can participate in the rest of the games in the volleyball season. Thankfully, he has not had another episode of accidental almond ingestion.
We praise God that He remains constant and available in every crisis and challenge. May His love guide us through each trial, and may we give Him all the glory!
