Book Review: Desperate Prayers

When we discovered our prodigal son's journey, our prayer lives grew exponentially. I don't think I've ever prayed such desperate prayers as those lifted for my son! We rarely prayed together, as a couple, before the fallout of addiction drove us to our knees side-by-side. We have prayed desperate prayers to God. We have prayed importunate prayers, and seen answers that feel miraculous. We are currently in life's darkest moments and we continue to believe in the power of prayer.

This book, Desperate Prayers, by Rachel Wojo, outlines and encourages deep and abiding prayer principles. Rachel is no stranger to situations of desperation. Her daughter, Taylor, endured the neurological degeneration of Sanfilippo syndrome. Care for Taylor was demanding and her life threatened. During the pandemic, Rachel's husband lost his job and their finances were stretched while providing for many children.

Each chapter in the book addresses various desperate needs, with requests like, "God, see me," "God, heal me," "God, guide me," and "God, free me." Here's an example of the prayer principles she summarizes at the end of each chapter: "God will not allow your wilderness to go unnoticed. Prayer is the strongest weapon in your arsenal. Whatever your emergency, God is your eternal 9-1-1 Operator, always by your side.... No prayer is beyond God's reach or reply." She declares, "Desperate prayer is a wise admission, not a weak acceptance."

I found great encouragement in these pages when I read them prior to Trevor's death. I loved her reminder that sometimes God answers prayer, not for you, but for the sake of others (example: The bathing equipment, they petitioned repeatedly for, that finally arrived just before Taylor died. Taylor never even used it, but they were able to give it to another girl who faced significant challenges). Moreover, I loved her reference to that lovely chorus, "My Lord knows the way through the wilderness, all I have to do is follow." She, like Alistair Begg, encouraged me to "pray bigger." We cannot go to God with our "agenda" of what we think is best in these situations. But, we must recognize that He can do so much more than we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). 

Indeed, we are now clinging to that promise that He knows exactly what we need. Perhaps God's decision to take Trevor in July was merciful! Perhaps he was spared tremendous challenges and difficulties. We have already seen his death spread the good news of God's saving grace to those who might not have listened in any other circumstance. May God bring a bountiful harvest from Trevor's short life!

2026 Baby Bucket List - August Progress

 

(Photo by Jeff Kingma on Unsplash)

At the end of 2025, I made a small bucket list of easy-to-achieve goals. The original list included 23 restaurants, 3 festivals, 4 destinations, and 7 movies. By the end of February, I had only checked off 3 items. By the end of May, I'd completed an additional 7 (mostly movies).

Now I would say I feel less motivated to tackle anything, but have more opportunity to do so. Getting away was always hard, given our struggle with our son's addiction. You never knew when crisis might strike. Somehow, we managed to take two small trips to Bedford, Indiana. The first time, in June, we got dinner and treated ourselves to a visit to Jiffy Treet (an amazing ice cream shop that would have been on my initial list if I'd thought of heading down that way). We stayed overnight, so we could pick Trevor up from the treatment center first thing in the morning. Then we took him home, transferred his car into his name (had been in my husband's name), and moved him into his Indy halfway house. 

The second time we went to Bedford, it was in our own interest (as an anniversary getaway). We drove to Blue Springs Caverns and took an hour-long cave boat tour. Yikes! That was interesting! We survived a potential overturned boat, a minute of total darkness, and then a terrifying minute when the tour guide couldn't get the boat re-started. I had visions of being stuck down there indefinitely. The motor had gotten lodged on a piece of rock. Thankfully, once the tour guide shifted it off that, the boat started up again and we were on our way out of that confining space.

We checked into our hotel, had an excellent dinner out, and then met friends at Jiffy Treet for another special dessert. The following morning, we headed back to the treatment center doubting anyone would be able to take the time to speak with us. What a blessing to find we were wrong! The director took time out of her busy schedule to meet with us for an hour to discuss Trevor. She shared details about his time there and things about what he indicated as struggles. It was so comforting to talk about him. She was empathetic and personable, sharing how addiction has affected her life.

I ended up seeing one additional movie between May and August. Sean wanted me to experience The Odyssey. He had gone and really enjoyed it. I, on the other hand, regret it. I thought it was far too violent, disturbing, and crass. Oh, well. Each to his own. 

As for restaurants, early in July, before Trevor's death, John and I made it to Cheddars. After Trevor's death, a friend took me out for lunch at a favorite of mine, Boulder Creek. We also went to Olive Garden for an anniversary dinner on that date. Toward the end of August, I went with a group of women to Rockstar Pizza. All of those were on the original list. Combined with the addition of the two trips to Jiffy Treat, we made it to six restaurants from the list between the end of May and the end of August.

We missed the Amo Fish Fry Festival in June. To be honest, I don't even know where Amo is. Ha! Who knows? Perhaps we'll make it to Danville's Fair-on-the-Square and Plainfield's Quaker Days next month. We may have to force ourselves to get out and about, but it is probably good for us in the midst of grieving.

Book Review: The Summer of Second Chances

This cover, along with a dementia story line, drew me. I rarely read young adult novels because so many published today have an agenda or are filled with scenes I wouldn't want teens reading. K.L. Walther, in The Summer of Second Chances, hints at a bedroom scene, but does not confirm it with details. To be honest, it implies that the father (who changed his daughter's vacation accomodations to avoid indiscretions) now suddenly gives permission for her to share a tent with her boyfriend overnight, unsupervised. That was a bit of a stretch for me. But, the storyline was interesting enough.

Olivia Lupo spends much of her days visiting her beloved grandmother at the assisted living facility in the memory care unit. Her grandmother raised her after the death of Olivia's mother. Now, Olivia's step-mother is convinced she needs to get away from the intensity of these visits. The family heads to spend 3 weeks on Martha's Vineyard. The only reason Olivia goes along with this plan is because she recently discovered her grandmother spent summers in that location and may have had a romance. She decides to retrace her grandmother's steps, following some photos she discovers in an old box.

I struggled with my mother's dementia before her death. It is hard to separate the emotional outbursts and sometimes caustic behavior from the parent you wish was still in there. My mother raged at me (even cursing me) on my final visit with her. That is shattering. I cannot imagine facing that as a teen. Walther faithfully portrays the emotional tension and heartbreak. Despite the deep subject, the romance was lighthearted and fun. Although I have never been to Martha's Vineyard, I would imagine a reader familiar with that area would enjoy re-visiting those scenes vicariously. In the end, I rooted for a happy ending for Olivia.

Book Review: Mattering

Earlier this month, we had the privilege of speaking with a family who met Trevor at the time of his tragic accident on July 3rd. An off-duty officer was visiting at his parent's home when they heard the sound of the crash. The officer and his mother rushed to the scene. Trevor was terribly shaken. Although their interactions were brief, they said Trevor made a great impression on them. The officer said Trevor hugged him and, being a weightlifter himself, he was impressed by Trevor's strength. Trev openly admitted his fault and expressed concern for the other driver. He was genuinely gutted. I'm sure the officer and his mother were both worried about Trevor in the middle of his crisis. They said they continued to think of him for days afterwards, and were then shocked and dismayed to learn of Trevor's death. The mother told me it has changed how she interacts with people, because you never know when an interaction with someone might be your last. Plus, it touched us that they took the time to share these interactions after the fact.

This book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, changed me in a similar way. A graphic on the Amazon page highlights readers who might be drawn to this book. I fit the target audience several times over. It is for "a seasoned parent doing their best" [and feeling like it may not have been good enough], for "anyone who hasn't heard yet how much they matter," for "a retiree wondering what's next," for "an empty nester struggling to find a new purpose," and "a person feeling adrift." Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. After reading the inspiring novel about mattering, Reports of His Death Have Been Greatly Exagerrated, this non-fiction book brings home that fictional illustration. We all long for, dare I say need, deep connection and purpose.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace identifies 5 factors in feeling like you matter. 1) "Recognition - your actions are valued, and your absence would be felt;" 2) "Reliance - you feel needed because others depend on you;" 3) "Importance - you're prioritized;" 4) "Ego Extension - others are invested in your well-being;" and 5) "Attunement - you feel deeply understood and meaningfully responded to." These spokes must be addressed in order to have a sense of purpose in life. Much like Brad Aronson's Humankind, this book gives ample illustrations of ways people invest in mattering. I loved the idea of calling a "Code Lavender" for psychological emergencies that require intervention to meet those needs.

So, how do we increase our sense of mattering? Wallace suggests we use the "mattering lens." Ask yourself what part of mattering is lacking: sense of impact, feeling relied upon, prioritized, attuned to, or invested in? The steps are also two-fold (especially for those facing transitions - my hand is raised). First, seek to let others in (read books, listen to podcasts, find others in the same transition to connect with). Second, shift to finding a way to meet someone else's need in the world (use actions or words to tell someone else they matter). Speak into their lives when you get a chance!

I loved this insight, "The surest way to sustain our own sense of mattering is to focus on making others feel like they matter. The shift from 'I matter' to 'we matter' gives us both the long-term resilience and legacy we crave." So, when tempted to say, "Poor me, I have few deep connections and little purpose," I need to take steps to increase connection (just like my addicted son flailed because of lack of connection, I too flail for the same reasons). I need to find things that will give my life purpose and meaning. In the past, so much of my identity was in my writing. When things make that difficult, my purpose takes a hit.

This is a vitally important book. Our society is riddled with loneliness. As jobs get sucked up by AI, where will people feel like they make a difference or their life matters? We tune out and connect virtually, rather than in-person. I'm as guilty as the next. It is easier to sit on my phone seeking fake connection than to take the steps and risks to form real connection. The world is full of people who need to know they matter, who need others to take the time to focus on them and really listen. I'm grateful for these two individuals who made my son feel he mattered, and shared with us his impact on them.

 

Book Review: To Find Where She Belongs

This book, To Find Where She Belongs, is the 4th book in the Christian Fiction Reading Challenge. That's a bit misleading. It seems many of the books in this challenge are the newest books in an existing series. When I signed on, I was content to add 12 prescribed titles to my year's reading. However, given the number of books that follow other titles, the number continues to increase. (In all, if one read every title of each series represented, it comes to 32 books! That is far more than some read in an entire year. Of course, you don't have to read each book in every series listed.) Hmm. I'm still considering whether I will stick with this challenge. When I came to this April selection, I decided against reading Robin Lee Hatcher's previous four titles in this The British Are Coming series.

This is also a Western book (not my favorite category). I plugged on anyway, partly because I so enjoy Hatcher's author newsletters. Keely Boyle is a young Irish woman who fears her safety after a man in power makes unwanted advances. She steals to gain money for passage to America, hoping to find sanctuary with a friend who has always raved about a ranch he loves in Idaho. As Keely settles in to ranch life, she battles guilt and shame for the sin she committed in desperation. Then, sparks begin to fly between Keely and the young ranch owner, William Overstreet.

This book provides great commentary on sin and guilt, grace and redemption. God's love can overcome the deepest shame and restore relationships. The problems on the ranch (poisoned water and dying cattle) resolved a bit more quickly than I expected, but added a further layer of conflict. All in all, this was an enjoyable read, even if it was outside of my normal fare (I'm just not a cowboy person).

Overdose Prevention and Awareness Day 2026

Yesterday was Overdose Prevention and Awareness Day. I went back and forth on whether I should upload my son's photo and information to pages I saw on my Facebook feed (oh, how they target you for what they know about you). I'm leery of proclaiming too much about him or his experience, especially on Facebook. I distrust Meta.

However, this week we received the coroner's report on Trevor's death. It was determined he died of "acute fent@nyl and coc@aine toxicity." There was so much in his system it would not have mattered if help had arrived sooner. Unable to determine whether or not it was intentional, they labelled it "undetermined." We will never know if he was simply looking for a temporary release, or if he was overwhelmed with all the uncertainties and shifting realities in his life and decided to seek more permanent release. 

Regardless of intent or not, the access to these drugs decimating families is abominable! Something must be done! It is too easy for others to look on and say, "That would never happen to my child because I'm a better parent... because I have better control over what they do... because my child would never seek out drugs." Unfortunately, many young people who are dying today think they are taking a harmless X@n@x pill or something else, with no idea it may be laced with the super small amounts of fent needed to kill one. Seriously! It is equivalent to two grains of salt! Yet, others look on and look away because it has not affected them.

I agree with all those things I have seen proclaimed for Overdose Prevention and Awareness Day. My son was gone too soon! He was deeply loved! He mattered! We need to end the stigma and address the problem. We need to fight this unconscionable evil!

(Wichita, KS billboard)

Book Review: Your Story Matters

I've had this book, by Leslie Leyland Fields, highlighted in my Hoopla favorites (a sort of to-be-read notation) for months. I'm so glad I finally picked up Your Story Matters. Only 2-1/2 chapters in, I recommended it to my friend, Beth, who is considering writing a memoir and has asked me to help her. This book will help far more than I can. Indeed, I'd venture to say, she could write her book herself by following the instruction and encouragement provided in Your Story Matters: Finding, Writing, and Living the Truth of Your Life.

Each of us has a story. Every story is meaningful and important. When we share our stories, we impact the lives of others for good. Not only that, we process and live out the truths God is trying to teach us through the paths where He leads. So, this is not only a writing book. It is chock-full of encouragement to give our stories back to the Master and share them with the people around us, with purpose. You may not consider yourself a writer. But Fields insists your story matters, whether it is told in a few pages to a handful of friends or written in a book for the masses.

I loved that she referenced quotes by Fredrick Buechner, from his memoir, Telling Secrets. He writes, "It is precisely through these stories in all the particularity... that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally. If this is true, it means that to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually." 

Fields emphasizes how words flesh out God's redemptive purposes for our pain and trials: "Often, redemption comes simply by bringing language--which is bringing light--to the silence. Every time we lock up a person, an event, even an entire decade in the Closet of Forgetting and Denial, we're robbing ourselves of the strength and wisdom that can come from those experiences. Those events came to us with purpose.... We get to shepherd and steward these burdens, all of them--the beautiful, the brilliant, and the horrid.... We have another chance to reclaim and redeem those moments. And sometimes they are redeemed simply by being faced and called out of the dark. When we can name our ghosts, they haunt us less."

Her questions and prompts at the end of each chapter are invaluable. Her insights come from years of writing and teaching writing. If God is going to use our stories as a witness to His power and purpose, we must be willing to share them. As Fields says, "Our job is to tell the truth, to simply write from who we are, where we've been, and we trust God for the rest." I came away energized to share my story for God's glory!