Mid-month Mention: Hospitality and Building Community

I do not have the spiritual gift of hospitality. For several years, we invited my parents and sibling families to our spacious home just after Christmas. While I enjoyed the opportunity to see them all, the stress of making arrangements and meals always shattered me. One year, my sister attempted to alleviate that stress by insisting on making a huge meal of roast beef and yorkshire pudding. That year was even more stressful. I much preferred when we settled on an order from Papa Johns (although, one year, they assumed our large order of 8 or 9 pizzas was a prank call and we had to wait there while they actually filled the order).

Having said that, the Lord has been nudging me in this area. Not only did He direct me to my verse for the year (2 Corinthians 2:14: "Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."), but he is convicting me through others I'm encountering. I somehow stumbled upon a new-to-me author, Sue Donaldson, author of  Never Alone: The Power of Invitation and the Grace of Belonging in an Isolated World. I received a newsletter with a description of one of her "Wine Nights." It sounds amazing! She invites women into her home and stimulates conversation with great ice-breaker questions. You can purchase her question ideas in her book, Say Something Special: 252 Conversation Starters, The Ultimate Guide to Stimulating Table Talk. I hope to get a chance to read those books soon.

In the meantime, while I continue to pray for God's guidance on how He may be asking me to step out in faith, I keep discovering more encouragement. I recently followed a Rabbit Room substack article to a video lecture by Andy Patton (The Darkling Psalter). Patton's lecture, "The Lost Art of Community," is not only full of book recommendations and summaries, but also inspires hosptality and community building. I went in thinking I would skim the 28-minute lecture, but was riveted through the whole thing. He offers excellent analogies to flesh out his main points. He talks about subverting modernity, creating space with common agreement, accepting imposition for the sake of community, and the importance of propinquity (when circles of life overlap).

I am not at the point where I can foster a new community (many distractions of the unstable life with an addict), but I took note of his recommendations: 1) Start small, and 2) Gather around something. In brainstorming groups I would love to initiate, I think of several categories. The first obvious one is a desire to gather around books - perhaps start a new book club. The second, similar, is a desire to gather with other Christian writers - perhaps start a writer's group. The third, more practical and desperately needed on my end, gather with non-judgmental parents walking the difficult road with a wayward child. I realize all these categories already have groups in existence near me. However, that doesn't negate that niggle from the Lord. It may still be in developing stages within me. I may be too busy with the monumental task of preparing to downsize into a smaller residence. For now, I spend time in prayer and seek His wisdom and guidance.

If you're lonely and aching for stronger connections, if you're interested in building community, why not take a moment to explore Sue Donaldson's books or Andy Patton's lecture. They are sure to light a fire under any desires or convictions you might entertain. Who knows, this might be a tangible way to follow that verse from 2nd Corinthians. Every day, I pray to be a fragrance of the knowledge of Him. Maybe soon, he'll have me put feet and hands to the words.

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I wrote this post prior to our son's death. God has a sense of humor. He forced me to put feet and hands to words (although, I don't think anyone really expected much out of me - it is not like they were wanting me to stress about feeding all the relatives coming for the funeral, but even just making my home - so often in disarray - available for visiting is stressful to me). And, I suppose, he is giving me more time to focus on discerning where I could live out the verse in 2nd Corinthians.

Book Review: It's a God Thing!

Inside the front cover of my copy of It's a God Thing!, I found a notation stating I won this book at the 2001 Write-to-Publish Conference. I know I read the book back then. Still on my bookshelf, I picked it up again to supplement my daily devotional reading. What an inspiring book for anyone who wishes to spread the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ! (2 Cor. 2:14) That sounds like Larry Baker's theme verse.

I started to explain that Larry runs a salon and cuts hair in Fort Collins, Colorado. Then, I decided to Google him. Oh, my! What sad news! Last June, Larry went missing and his body was found in Watson Lake. I found a You Tube video of a news clip highlighting how dear and personable Larry had been. How wonderful that his message still resonates through his book, It's a God Thing!: Inspiring Stories of Life-Changing Friendships.

Larry used his fun and friendly personality to woo and win others to Christ. He greeted others and became a true friend to them. He did not immediately pressure them by sharing the gospel, but waited until they asked him the source of his joy and peace. Even then, he walked gently into the question, offering to give them only as much explanation as they wanted. The stories Larry shares in his book prove that being a friend is the thing of first importance. Whether connecting with addicts or jet-setters, Larry offered a hand of friendship and a heart for God. Without building a bridge, you cannot meet on the same side. I really enjoyed this book and recommend it to anyone wanting inspiration for forming relationships that effectively change lives through the knowledge of Christ.

Losing Our Precious Son

Parenting a wayward child is an exhausting and distressing role. We have gone back and forth trying to determine what is the best way to respond and help our addicted son, Trevor. I will admit, we have not always been in agreement. Much of this stems from my husband's personal experience with an addicted sibling who took his life. I think he was desperate to come to a different conclusion with his son.

From day one, Trevor was very much like his Uncle Rob. He did things with vehemence. Most recently, his driven, give-it-all mentality zeroed in on his bodybuilding. Here is a photo of him flexing:

Unfortunately, he relapsed at the end of May. At 2 a.m., there was no way to take him to a treatment center, so we took him to the ER. They would only release him into a residential treatment center (good for them!) At first, still under the influence of the drugs, he refused to stay for the 28-day treatment. He wanted to leave after the initial 7-day detox period. My husband wanted to let him come back home. In my opinion, that would only enable him to go back to using (our home is where this all began). I began to pray importunately for God to change their minds. Praise God! My husband told him he couldn't come home and Trevor decided he would stick out the program.

Of course, he had to detox from everything (including the Retitrutide weight loss drugs he was injecting and the steroids he was taking to enhance his bodybuilding). He said they had snacks available everywhere and he had to get some dopamine somehow, so he ate himself into a 60-pound weight gain. The relapse was a crushing blow! The loss of his intentions to participate in a bodybuilding competition in August was a devastating blow! From there, things continued to spiral.

He moved from the treatment center into a halfway house in Indianapolis. We knew this wasn't the best plan (after all, he knew where to access drugs in Indy), but he wasn't moving home, either. He was living in Indy, working at a Steak 'n Shake in Brownsburg, and visiting his girlfriend in Kirklin. Many miles driven at a time when gas prices are high. He couldn't even break even.

Then came some relationship difficulties. I think his girlfriend had made it very clear to him that she was clean and she would not remain with someone who uses. The friction and pain escalated. He responded in very unhealthy ways. When he posted something on Instagram saying, "Hope you all enjoyed the sh!t show," we were terrified he intended to find drugs.

Then, on July 3rd, he was coming to our home to pick up some food. He said he was crying and couldn't see clearly. He plowed into the front end of another vehicle that had turned into a subdivision just in front of him. His car was totaled and he knew we had vowed not to replace it (we'd already helped him purchase 3 vehicles). I'm sure his mind was reeling. No car. No way to get from Indy to his job or to visit his girlfriend. Not to mention, the possibility that the other driver might sue him for his fault in the accident. He was suicidal. He did not want to live. I took him in my arms and he just sobbed. We prayed with him. He agreed to go to a psych hospital as soon as his girlfriend could take him after she finished work. While waiting, he called and learned the commitment time was 7-14 days. He decided he didn't want to lose his bed, his job, or his upcoming court date, so he found an outpatient psych therapy that he could do in the halfway house from his phone.

On July 4th, he posted photos of himself at a party holding a beer can. His younger brother tried to tell him these decisions were unwise. On July 5th, I drove to his halfway house to take him to work. I bought him a pizza because his house meeting had gone long and he'd had no dinner. That's the last time I saw my beloved boy.

On July 6th, he took an Uber to work. While at work, he kept going to the bathroom. Finally, he went to the bathroom and did not come out. A coworker knew Sean's phone number because Sean used to work there. She called to tell him there was an incident with Trevor and they needed a family member there immediately. After my husband headed to the restaurant, the coworker called back. Sean said he knew it was bad when she couldn't talk. He then came in to gently wake me and share that "there was an incident at the Steak 'n Shake, and he's gone." I shot up. My initial thought was I wanted to see him and hold him one more time. I didn't think I could drive, so Sean drove me over. They would not let me near his body. We were there until midnight speaking with detectives, officers, and the coroner.

This week has been a whirlwind of planning and details. It feels like every minute I have something else to think about or address. I'm holding together fine (probably helped by the antidepressant medication I'm on), but my husband is grieving intensely. I'm glad Trevor is no longer in the intense emotional pain he was carrying. I'm glad he no longer has to struggle and fight this demon.

If you want to view his obituary, a photo slideshow, and a remembrance journal, you can follow this link. We also set up a Trevor Hill Addiction Memorial Fund. Now begins the dreadful process of learning to live without him. After picking our oldest son, Bryce, up from the airport, we stopped to get Chinese carry-out. As I went in to pick up the food, I realized we will never be able to eat inside that restaurant again. Trevor loved to eat there and ate with gusto. Then, on Thursday, I finally managed to get in a walk. I used to always spend most of my walks praying about Trevor. That was a crushing moment.

Please pray for our family as we walk this difficult road. Even though I had irrationally wanted to see him on the night of his death, I know that the most difficult moment will be when we come for the visitation and see him laid out, a shell of the person he once was, devoid of his spark. I have asked to speak a few words. I am praying I am not incapacitated with grief. Pray we will hold up as they lower his body into the ground, in a finality that cannot be erased. We are heart-sick and deeply saddened by the loss of our precious son.

Book Review: Project Hail Mary

Occasionally, an author will self-publish a book that goes so viral it lures a traditional publisher. This is what happened for Andy Weir with his first book, The Martian. I read that book for book club a decade ago. Since I put Project Hail Mary on my 2026 movie bucket list, I wanted to read the book prior to seeing the movie. The movie must be outstanding. My youngest went to see it twice within less than two weeks. I will admit, the science kept me bogged down during the read. I would have been fine to see the movie without reading the book. But, if you have more scientific acumen than I do (most probable), you might enjoy reading prior to watching the movie.

Project Hail Mary is, as the title suggests, a story of a last-ditch effort to save Earth and humanity. Ryland Grace is an unlikely candidate to save the world. He is a junior high science teacher sent into space on a mission to tackle a pressing problem threatening the sun. He wakes with amnesia from an induced coma. Through flashbacks, the reader and the astronaut come to understand his identity and his mission. When Grace meets an alien, Rocky, battling the same problem, they form a friendship and tackle the problems together.

I still give kudos to Weir for his great skill in explaining science in simple terms. The relational bond between human and alien is touching. The stakes continually escalate. I imagine (for me, anyway) the movie will be easier to follow than the book. I'm looking forward to it, but will admit I'm waiting until my library has a copy of the DVD. A Great Awakening was a movie that demanded viewing on the big screen (I saw it twice and would have happily paid to see it a third time). I'm not feeling as strong a pull for this movie adaptation.

Book Review: Launch Out into the Deep

I discovered Sarah Trent on Facebook. She interacts with scripture passages and provides inspiration and encouragement to those of us struggling in deep waters. The pace of her poetic offerings amazes me. She has a photography business and raises 3 children on their family farm. So many of her posts resonate deep within me and I've shared a few of her posts to my Facebook wall. As young as she is, she is clearly no stranger to suffering, yet relies on God to get through everything.

Launch Out into the Deep is a 31-day devotional. Each entry is followed by reflective questions to consider. I wanted to enter her contest to win a paperback copy of this book, so I purchased the ebook, read it in 3 installments, and left a review. [Side note: I have been frustrated by Amazon's review policies. Up until this point, I believed I could only leave reviews on my ebook purchases. Amazon requires a certain purchase amount to leave reviews, but always offered a review form at the completion of ebooks I read on my Kindle app. I would love to support authors I appreciate but my husband does not like me using his Prime account to leave my reviews. I rarely purchase from my Amazon account because he has Prime. Now, I discover that even those ebook reviews I thought I was leaving are not airing as expected because I have not met the purchase requirement. Frustrating!] 

I plan to revisit this book, reading through the devotions one day at a time next month. It is so good, it needs to be savored. Plus, I did not take time to ponder or write answers to the questions posed at the end of each entry. However, here are some snippets I gleaned to share:

- "In a world that tries to define you by your failures, your status, or your scars - Jesus defines you by your Father."

- "When I'm too tired to hold on, You don't shame me - You hold me."

- "He does not ask me to explain what aches beyond language. He knows."

- "Sometimes, the miracle isn't in the multiplying. Sometimes, it's in the offering."

Sarah has a beautiful way with words. Each sentence reverberates in my soul. She articulates what many of us feel but cannot adequately express. Her pieces are rich with biblical foundation and spiritual insight. I will continue to follow this author on Facebook and in her books.

* Yay, I won the contest! Sarah sent a copy of this devotional to me. I was able to send it as a gift to my dear friend, Lisa, who is struggling in very deep waters. How I pray it ministered healing to her weary soul!

Book Review: A Sketch of the Life and Labors of George Whitefield

After experiencing A Great Awakening in the theater, I returned home raving about the powerful movie. It provided such a clear and accurate presentation of the gospel. Though your sins be as scarlet, Christ offers to wash them white as snow if you accept His free gift of salvation, bought for you in a transaction on the cross. George Whitefield was a revival preacher during America's Great Awakening (1734-1743). His story is fascinating and I wanted to delve deeper. A commenter on Facebook mentioned J. C. Ryle's book, A Sketch of the Life and Labors of George Whitefield. Ryle is the author of one of my favorite pamphlets, Do You Pray? I couldn't wait to explore his research into Whitefield. I borrowed it in audio form on Hoopla the next day.

I believe J. C. Ryle presented this as a lecture at some point. He gives a very direct description of Whitefield's life and ministry. He affirmed something mentioned in the movie, "He was immortal until his work was done." Whitefield preached a clear and concise gospel. He addressed man's complete ruin by sin, man's complete redemption by Christ and complete justification before God by faith in Christ, and man's need of regeneration by the spirit. His cry was convicting, "While ye were sinners, Christ died for you." He explained the transaction: the just for the unjust. He asserted even the vilest sinner could stand complete and righteous before the throne of God through Jesus' sprinkled blood that washes the blackest sins away. One has only to believe and be saved, to ask and receive, to wash and be clean. This is the pure and true gospel.

One thing I loved about the movie was the clear doctrine of the new birth. Once saved, as is evident in baptism, one is buried with Christ, washed and cleansed, and raised with him, a new creature. The Holy Spirit enters in and guides one in sanctification. The presence of the Holy Spirit is a seal of inheritance, proving one is born into God's family. Physically and spiritually, you cannot be unborn after He has sealed you with a promise of eternal life. How I want to emulate Whitefield's persistent goal, that his own name perish, so long as Christ only is exalted!

Book Review: Once and Again

I first encountered Rebecca Serle in 2022 with her book, In Five Years. Then, last year, I read One Italian Summer. Both of these books contain cautionary content I would normally avoid, but her writing is so good and stories so intriguing I'm willing to skim that content for the sake of learning from her writing skills. Serle creates wonderful alternative realities. She uses magical realism and plausible conflicts to hone in on truly interesting what-if scenarios.

In this book, Once and Again, the women in Lauren's family have a special coin that allows them one do-over. Before I even knew of this novel, I had actually started writing a short story with this idea but my skills will never match Serle's. She ferrets out the myriad of conflicts this ability would summon: What is significant to warrant the coin's use? Once used, how does one live with the normal inability to intervene in life's trials? Who can be trusted with the secret? Are other lives influenced by the do-over?

My mind thought of the despair if your alteration didn't accomplish what you had hoped. Lauren only learned about the coin at age fifteen, when her mother turned back time to avoid her father's death. Like One Italian Summer, this book considers mother-daughter relationships and the frictions that can develop. The reader cannot help but think about what they would like to do-over if they had such a coin. This was a quick and entertaining read.