Book Review: Tragedy to Triumph

Reuel Nygaard's book, Tragedy to Triumph, was nestled on my downstairs bookshelf amid the other Christian titles. Seeking a new addition to my morning devotional time, I pulled it out and decided while it might be a difficult read, it might also be exactly what I need. Nygaard's 23-year-old son, Kelly, took his own life. We are not sure if our son, Trevor, acted with intention. He had been texting his dad, just a few hours before his time of death, telling him when he needed to be picked up from work. Perhaps he felt if he just took a little of the drugs, it would help him get through his shift. We cannot know for certain, but the devastation is the same, regardless of intent.

Like Trevor, Kelly Nygaard was a promising young man with a troubled heart. His parents experienced all the standard questions, like "what if we had noticed the signs?" and "what if we had intervened in time?" Kelly was driven by depression. Our son's anxiety drove him to addiction, which led to his death. This was difficult to read, yes. But, it was also affirming. I marked one passage where Nygaard tells of their certainty that Christ's blood forgives sin--past, present, and future. Their son had accepted Christ's forgiveness and grace. He declared, "Kelly died of an illness... God... would [not] turn away his own child who had suffered and died a painful death."

I looked the author up. He is deceased now, and with his son in heaven. God got this family through the tragic demise of their child; He can certainly get us through, as well. We intend to cling to Him just as firmly as Trevor clung to the Lord amid his trials.

Mid-month Mention: Jesus Writing Month

After reading, loving, and highly recommending Beth Brower's Emma M. Lion series, I happily stumbled upon a delightful Substack written by Mara Rowan. She writes under "Tenant in the Garret." She discusses all things Emma and her suitors. While I personally haven't chosen a side on this debate, I love reading her perspective on this issue. Thus, I followed her Substack.

A few weeks ago, she highlighted a writing opportunity. My faithful readers will know that I have struggled to maintain my old writing pursuits. In the battle with my addicted son, Trevor, the traumas and pressures seemed to squeeze out my energies and motivations for anything other than my morning pages and my blog posts. The struggle began in 2023, when he overdosed and I performed CPR until paramedics revived him with Narcan. I know many who say writer's block is not real; they see it simply as an excuse for not pushing through the silence. Every attempt to work on a project felt stifled. I came to accept my liminal space. Making peace was better than berating myself for my inconsistency.

Although immediately drawn to this mentioned writing opportunity, I hesistated to join. I did not want to take a space that could be used by someone more likely to succeed in this venture. Thus, I sat on the email for a while and prayed about it. Even now, I don't know if I can or will make good on this prospect. But, I pulled the trigger anyway.

I'm joining Jesus Writing Month this November! I haven't participated in National Novel Writing Month in almost a decade. Every November, from 2009-2018, I reached for 50,000 words, only stopping in 2019, when we discovered our son's addiction. Former NaNoWriMo participant, Justice Tilsher, created a community for writers to steward the stories God has given them. 

Jesus Writing Month is a FREE 30-day writing REVIVAL (Don't you love that word? I do! May it be a revival that stirs my spirit and my talent!). It is intended for Christian writers who want to write with greater peace, freedom, and faithfulness to Christ. Instead of word count (the key motivator in NaNoWriMo), the focus shifts to answering God's call to steward gifts and talents.

Are you a Christian writer eager to give back to God what He has placed in your hands? Why not join me? 

If you follow this link, you can sign up now!

Don't delay like I did, because spaces are limited! If you sign on after it fills, you can still follow along (but you might miss the community options). Want to write with me in November? If you do, and if you join, please let me know you are swimming in these waters with me. I may be a salmon, swimming against the current of my grief, but you might be a torrentfish (adapted to life in shallow, fast-flowing rapids).

Book Review: Theo of Golden - Highly Recommend

I'll join the crowd. Allen Levi's debut self-published novel, Theo of Golden, has garnered the attention of the masses, and with good reason. It is "[a] word-of-mouth smash hit," according to The New York Times. Theo is a delightful character! I believe everyone who reads this book, will wish for a Theo in their life. This book was a joy to read, even if it touched on sorrow while I was drowning in grief over the loss of my son. I had to jot down passages that resonated.

When Theo arrives in the town of Golden, he is immediately struck by an extensive display of portraits hanging on the walls of the local coffee shop. His mind concocts a scheme and he begins to purchase them, one at a time, to return them to their subjects. Each time he meets another individual at the famed bench of exchange, he learns about their life and gives them encouragement. He deflects questions about himself, but draws out every person he meets.

As the inside cover proclaims, it is "a story of giving and receiving, of seeing and being seen... a beautifully crafted novel about the power of creative generosity, the importance of wonder to a purposeful life, and the invisible threads of kindness that bind us to one another." Oh, the world needs more Theos! I wish I could be a Theo. It made me think, "What can I do to uplift and encourage others?"

I could relate to this about the loss of Theo's child:

"Every thought of Tita made Theo gasp and sob at the nauseating finality of her death. The impossibility of her return, the endlessness of his waiting for her presence, the suffocating silence of the house, his inability to find any words to express what he felt, and the haunting realization that it did not have to happen drove Theo to near madness.... His suffering was aggravated by a sense of guilt that took the form of a single tormenting question, 'Did I not protect my child?'"

I could relate to Theo's explanation of port wine:

"Vintage is God's work. A grower cannot make it happen.... The roots can only grow in stony, difficult ground. The pruner's shears cut deep. The grapes are crushed and kept in the dark for decades. For the sake of the sweetness. For this very moment."

Theo's response to Tony's description of the loss of his friend, Bobbo, felt poignant: "In one sense, yes, it was an end. A terrible end. But maybe not the end. Maybe an end with a future."

I had to read this painful passage, a tribute to Simone's parents, aloud to my youngest son:

"I know what it is to love a child and to want above all else in life, that they be good and wise and happy. In honoring your son tonight, we also honor you. It is written somewhere that 'most people die with all of their songs still inside them.' Thank you for protecting Simone from that terrible fate. Because of you, he blesses us."

What a blessing this book was to me. Even though grief was front and center, it was a healing balm. If you haven't picked this book up yet, I highly recommend you do. There are too few really good things in life. Theo's character is one of them.

Book Review: One Summer

I had prescheduled review posts for several weeks when my son unexpectedly died in July. This was beneficial, because I didn't have to stress about writing book reviews. While I read very little for almost two weeks, I was surprisingly able to return to reading, even in my grief. It provided a distraction from the pain. But, I'm realizing, it has the feel of reading under water. My sense of how to review a book is greatly challenged. Even the outstanding books, don't feel as outstanding as they may have if I weren't reading under water. So, I apologize if my reviews lack luster or verve. I am lusterless, de-verved.

One Summer, by David Baldacci, is a book I checked out for listening on my car rides. After really enjoying Baldacci's Strangers in Time, I eagerly selected this novel (again, quickly, from the shelves). Jack Armstrong wants one more Christmas with his family. Doctors gave him weeks to live, and he's down to his final days. In a strange reversal of fortunes, his wife dies in a car accident.  Jack's kids are farmed out to family. Then, Jack begins to gain strength and defy his terminal diagnosis. Regaining his kids, he hopes to celebrate the summer where his wife grew up.

This novel is full of the conflicted dynamics that make up many families. There's no way around it, families are messy! Jack's is messy enough for two. So many emotions swirl: grief, jealousy, selfishness, arrogance, and spite. Will Jack and the kids get the summer they desired, or will their dreams be shattered by fractured family hostilities? I didn't like it as much as Strangers in Time, perhaps because it wasn't set in England. Moreover, I despised the mood music included in an attempt to ramp up the listener's emotional reaction. I think it was a clean read (maybe some language). Still, I'm willing to seek another Baldacci title.

Book Review: The Night Bus

After enjoying Tessa Bickers' The Book Swap, I selected her newer title, The Night Bus. I will admit, I was not ripe for it, since I was knee-deep in the early days of grieving. Still, it did bide the time when I walked on the treadmill (more often than I'd have liked, due to air quality issues). Daisy Douglas is conflicted about the wedding she's planning. When her bus breaks down, she ends up meeting the strange man on the bus who has been compulsively reading one book for months on her morning trek to work. Tom believes the book holds the key to why his girlfriend broke up with him. Daisy promises to help him woo the girl back, but as they work toward this goal, sparks begin to flicker. The characters were sweet, but the tale sometimes predictable. I'm grateful for the distraction it provided from my exercise.

📒 Content Caution: sex and language

Book Review: A God Who Acts

Harry Blamires was a friend of C. S. Lewis. This book, A God Who Acts: Recognizing the Hand of God in Suffering and Failure, was a companion in my devotional reading time just prior to my son's death. A passage from the front of the book sums up much of what I ruminated on when Trevor passed away without attaining the ministry we begged God to give him. "What have we the right to expect when we invoke God's blessings upon our schemes and ventures, when we pray for his help and guidance in our personal affairs? Is the hand of God to be discerned in our failures as well as in our successes?" What do we do with all those intense prayers we prayed but never realized? God's will was done. I have no doubt.

Man is not the initiator, "conceiving a desirable course of action, bringing it to God's notice as one might send a letter to an M.P., and then waiting for a favourable reponse--hoping, as we say, that the idea will be adopted.... He is an initiating God. His incarnate encounter with humanity is a dramatic action whose plot was conceived in heaven, not a piece of cosmic legislation pushed through the high courts in response to human petition."

Our Christian vocation is to serve God. To work with Him as He acts in our world. Some are called to suffer more than others, but God is in every detail. We can trust Him to get it right. Just like in the life of Joseph, as outlined by Alistair Begg, God is in our successes and our failures.

Book Review: The Bright Years

[Note: This was the last book review I wrote before my 21-year-old, addicted son died of overdose. I am leaving it as I wrote it that day. I certainly could not pick this book up now!]

How I wish I couldn't relate to this much-lauded book! Set in Texas, Sarah Damoff's debut novel, The Bright Years, deals with love and loss, secrets and addiction. It chronicles the life of the Bright family, as told from three perspectives. The husband Ryan is hiding an addiction. The wife Lillian is hiding a birth. Amid these secrets and tumultuous challenges, daughter Georgette struggles to endure and thrive in a life full of trouble. The story slowly unwinds to reveal the fallout of their humanity and fragility. It fills the reader with an ache of both beauty and tragedy.

What strikes me most about this book, is that it clearly demonstrates grace and redemption amid torment and brokenness. Life can be such a delicate thing! Loss, while difficult to bear, can break us open to appreciate the blessings we experience. Without the rain, do we know to value the sun? It is a hard book to read, but a positive experience in the end. Anyone loving an addict will wish they didn't recognize the truths and examples revealed in this fictional tale. And if you are fortunate enough to explore this fiction from afar, thank your lucky stars that in reading, you only have to experience this second-hand. 

I explored Sarah Damoff's website. She looks so young to have written a book with such deep insights. The page for this book offers a reading group guide, a playlist, and the first chapter of the book. This story holds much conversational fodder. It would make a great book club selection.