Missing Our Boy!

Please keep us in your prayers. This final weekend in September will be a difficult one. Trevor should be turning 22. We should be celebrating with an ice cream cake or some other treat he deprived himself of for so long (we did decide to buy a cake). In July of 2025, Trevor moved into a halfway house in Lafayette and began working out regularly. He was passionate! His goal was to become a personal trainer. He was working on the certification coursework when he died this past July. Bodybuilding became a supplemental goal. He set his sights on the 2026 Hoosier Flex Bodybuilding Competition. That competition recently shifted from Hoosier Flex to NPC Battle of the Bend.

Watching his progress must have been gratifying, as he struggled with weight issues for much of his life. He was sculpting his body to look as he'd always dreamed. While pursuing this goal, he sought to build a platform. Thus, he opened an Instagram account to chart his progress and demonstrate what he could help others achieve. He posted before and after pictures saying he "went from ill built to Hill built." I thought it a creative and appropriate business tag-line, "Go from ill-built, to Hill-built!"

The competition takes place today. He kicked himself for all he lost because of his relapse. On his first day at the treatment center, he texted, "I'm so disgusted with myself for allowing myself to ruin something I cared about so deeply. You know bodybuilding was my life. It was the only thing that made me feel like I was making any sort of progress. Even if I was stuck financially, legally, spiritually, etc., it felt like I was progressing if I made that weight go higher." How I wish he were here to participate! Instead, I will post a few photos (I tried to snag these from his Instagram, so I apologize for the poor quality).

Book Review: The Hand of God - Highly Recommend

After reading Pray Big, my best friend from college recommended Alistair Begg's The Hand of God. This book considers the providence of God in the life of Joseph. God knew the timing I needed for this read. I read this just prior to Trevor's death, when things seemed to be spinning out of control. The story of Joseph, as told in Genesis, is a walk of complete trust in God when life circumstances seem pitted against him.

Begg starts by considering Joseph's ancestors. His father, Jacob, wrestled with God. Both his father and his grandfather, Isaac, played favorites. Although he comes from a dysfunctional family, Joseph also stems from the line of Abraham (great-grandfather), who followed God's lead into the unknown and believed in His promise of many descendents. All along Joseph's life story, God is leading him into uncharted waters with great, yet hidden, purpose. The Hand of God provides powerful evidence that God is at work, even when things seem in disarray. Joseph was almost killed by his brothers, sold into slavery, accused of rape, imprisoned unjustly, and forgotten. It seemed as if all was against him. Yet, truly, all was in place for his key role in saving the children of Israel from famine. But also, for his role in bringing them to a place where their eventual bondage led them to cry out to God. (May our bondage lead us to cry out to God!)

I'm considering purchasing this book in paperback. I listened to my library's Hoopla audio copy and often wished I could have taken notes. While I could have re-listened at a slower pace to jot things down, I decided it would be better to simply revisit the book again in a few years. A second reading will glean just as much. For now, I'm encouraged to remember God, in His providence, may allow unlikely events to lead (albeit, in a hidden way) to His divine will.

I've been using The Sing Hymnal my husband gave me on Mother's Day. Every morning, after my prayers, I try to sing 2 hymns from the hymnal (my sight-singing is rusty). I was in "The Providence of God" section and came across "God Moves in Mysterious Ways," by William Cowper. (Cowper is often pronounced and spelled Cooper, as I read about him Companions in the Darkness.) Begg recites from this hymn in his book. The lyrics pack a firm truth punch, so I will share them here (I'm especially moved by verses 3-6 and have emphasized some lines that stood out to me in the days before Trevor's death and now):

"God moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform; he plants his footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm. 

"Deep in unfathomable mines of never-failing skill he treasures up his bright designs, and works his sovereign will. 

"Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.

"Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust him for his grace; behind a frowning providence he hides a smiling face.

"His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding ev'ry hour; the bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flow'r.

"Blind unbelief is sure to err, and scan his work in vain; God is his own interpreter, and he will make it plain."

The bud does, indeed, have a bitter taste for us now. Please, Lord, may the flower it nourishes be sweet and fruitful. Give us strength to trust the hand of God, even when it requires us to give up our dear son! As I told Trevor in June, "God knows your dash. He will not take you a day too soon, or leave you a day too long." How I pray God makes plain the purpose and harvest from my son's life.

Book Review: Things I Wish I Told My Mother

This title resonated. Oh, the many Things I Wish I Told My Mother. Even more, the shattering things I wish I could tell her now. It's probably just as well, as they might break her heart. I was fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with my mother. We had similar interests, tastes, and temperaments. Dementia stole her away and defied sharing events from the last dozen years. This tale is a bit different. The friction between this mother-daughter pair is biting!

What a conflicted relationship between Dr. Liz and Laurie. Dr. Liz is a well-dressed, independent, powerful doctor. She rarely hesitates to let her daughter know her disappointment. Laurie is content in comfortable clothes and quite proud of her artistic flair for advertising, something her mother cannot appreciate. When Dr. Liz faces a heart scare, Laurie decides to treat her mother to a trip back to her mother country, Norway. Dr. Liz insists on adding Paris, the city where Laurie honeymooned with her ex-husband. Laurie doesn't relish reminders, but is willing to pacify her mother in hopes of forging a better relationship.

Some of the dialogue, as these two women spar, is laugh-out-loud funny. We slowly unravel past events that formed Dr. Liz's personality. We watch as Laurie embarks on a romance in the City of Love. Can they mend fences? Will closeness develop between them before it is too late? Can Laurie learn to communicate with her distant and cold mother? I've been on the receiving end of biting criticism. I know how it can shut you down. Laurie takes it in stride, for the most part. This book provides an interesting exploration of the mother-daughter bond.

Book Review: The Mythmakers

I love finding new book recommendations from others in the Rabbit Room Facebook group. The Mythmakers, provides graphic biographies for two literary legends: C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. The illustrations are delightful. I already knew much of what was shared. I worked in the Wade Center while at Wheaton College, and have read plenty of books on this subject in the time since. Still, it was fun to explore this information again. I did learn a few new parts of the story of their friendship. I knew of the decline over the years, but didn't really remember the cause.

When I think of Lewis, Tolkien, and the Inklings (the group of writers who gathered at the Bird and Baby pub in Oxford), I'm filled with longing for such a blessed group in my life. I loved my wonderful writer's group in DeKalb, IL, when we lived there. I joined a library writer's group here, but many of the others were not Christians and did not share my worldview or belief system. Then I tried another library's group without success. What Lewis and Tolkien shared was meaningful and rich. It is rare to find such intense comaraderie and connection.

John Hendrix did a great job structuring this graphic work. A lion and a wizard lead the reader as they explore the details of these interesting lives. The artistic aspect of this work adds to the richness of the story. This graphic biography will certainly appeal to anyone interested in the inner workings of C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. I may suggest it to my youngest son, who is currently reading Tolkien's The Hobbit.

Book Review: You're In Good Company

As soon as I read a few essays in this collection titled, You're In Good Company, I wanted to gift this book to my former Bible Study Fellowship group leader. She is a writer, so I'm sure she would appreciate the essays. Moreover, the book is simply beautiful. It is hardcover and contains lovely photography. I'm not usually seeking recipes (and I doubt I'll try any of those listed), yet it was fun to read the fare offered up alongside enticing photographs.

I think I put this book on hold from the library's recent acquisitions list because it deals with hospitality. When I stumbled upon Sue Donaldson's newsletters, book, and website, I felt a tug to embrace this call to hospitality. This is very perplexing as hospitality is not a spiritual gift I possess. Sheesh - even cooking for my family fills me with dread, let alone offering up fare for guests in my less-than-tidy home. But, I'm encountering nudge after nudge regarding friendship and hospitality. For example, my recent read, Mattering. How important it is to invest in others and let them know they matter! Who knows if my shabby hospitality might bless someone else in a way I cannot fathom. I'm still hesitant, but these essays nurtured that tug.

When I read one essay about a stain on a carpet, I immediately realized I had recently read this essay elsewhere. I looked up the author, Sarah Hauser, and discovered that she posts on the Rabbit Room substack. I'm guessing that is where I encountered her before. I also appreciated Ashlee Gadd's essay, "Good Mother's Bake from Scratch and Other Lies I've Believed." The essay, "When Friendships Change," by Sonya Spillman, spoke to deep needs within me. "We'll Be Your Family on Christmas Eve," by Melanie Dale, resonated with me because Sarah Mitchell's family took me in over the Christmas holiday when I could not afford to return from London to Chicago during my work-study period abroad. I would love to implement the lessons from this book. May I rely on God to somehow make it so, if not now (when facing grief, downsizing, and a move), then perhaps when we seek another home!

Mid-month Mention: 25th Anniversary of 9/11 - Rescued!

This is an early mid-month mention. I bumped it up, because today marks the 25th anniversary of the events of September 11, 2001. This August, we attended revival meetings with evangelist Chris Miller. He mentioned a brief video he made with Marine Staff Sergeant David Karnes concerning rescue attempts on that fateful day. I checked it out and have decided to mention it here on my blog.

 

If you've followed my blog at all, you know what I loved most about this rescue story. It was the importunate, desperate prayers lifted in the midst of this rescue attempt. Whatever the need, a prayer went up. A radio appeared. A fire was put out. A beam was cut without collapsing. God was right there with them, answering and clearing the way for two men to be saved from the rubble.

I'm praising God for the rescue of two other precious souls. During the Chris Miller revival meetings, my husband invited Trevor's girlfriend, Kylie, and her mother, Angie. The church provided evening meals, so we were able to spend time chatting, as well. They live over a half hour away and we were thrilled they took their time to join us. But even more thrilling, they came to know Christ as their Savior from sin and trusted Him for eternal life. They have been rescued from darkness and brought into the light of His grace. I know Trevor is beaming in heaven and looking forward to reunion. Please join us in prayer for their continued spiritual growth.

"Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth." - Luke 15:10 

Before I go, I wanted to make mention of one more link. My good poet friend, Randy Edwards, wrote a poem for a 25th commemoration of the 9/11 tragedy. The poem is called "Climb," and I highly recommend listening to Randy read the entire entry for this poetry podcast episode. His voice is magnetic; his words timely. I love his poetry! Take a moment from your busy day. Watch a video about a rescue. Offer a prayer for two newly saved souls. Listen to a poem that will inspire and encourage.

Book Review: A Brewed Awakening

Clever title! Witty banter! Opposites attract! Pepper Basham is becoming a well-loved writer. I have adored listening to Authentically, Izzy, Positively, Penelope, and Some Like it Scot. Her books are fun and flirty. The dialogue reminds me of the fast talking that goes on in The Gilmore Girls show. You can rely on Basham for clean romance, full of heart-rending conflicts, softened by lighthearted exploration. I can't wait to read more of her books. In fact, I'm wishing I had secured A Brewed Awakening in audio form with the British accent to enhance the story.

Daphne Austen loves all things British. While opening her late grandmother's tea shop one morning, she catches sight of a British car she has loved from Granny's tales (a Cabriolet - I'm not familiar). Unfortunately, Finn (the dashing Brit who owns the car) immediately casts aspersions on her tea shop. It turns out he's her new neighbor and his shop will offer British fare of a heartier variety than tea and scones.

Both Daphne and Finn are wounded souls. They protect their hearts the only way they know how. Can they open them to each other and get past the caustic stereotypes? Because I follow Basham on Facebook, I knew she wrote this tale while facing the damage left by Hurricane Helene. I don't believe I've ever been to North Carolina, but it came alive through this book. Maybe it is time to make a larger bucket list than my current one.