Gaining a Daughter

Ever since May 2023, when our oldest son Bryce proposed to his girlfriend Elizabeth, we have been fixated on the final weekend in September 2024. The flurry of preparation was minimal for us (primarily, finding suitable mother-of-the-groom attire and losing weight before the event), but Elizabeth took on all the details with great care and calculation. She is a highly driven and organized person. I marvel at her skill for planning this elaborate event.

My anxiety level was intense. I worried about so many details. Would our prodigal be able to participate appropriately? (Due to recent events connected with his addiction, he did not attend.) Would I lose enough weight to be comfortable with the time-sealed photos of the event? (I lost 19 pounds between January and the wedding.) Could I find a dress comfortable enough for my dress-loathing personality? (Thanks to a kind Von Maur associate named Diedre, I found my very comfortable and flattering dress and knew it was "the dress.") Could I endure the dreaded mother-son dance, when all eyes would be on me and my lack of dancing skill would be evident? (My hairdresser suggested a strategy. I spent the whole time in riveted conversation with Bryce. It worked and eased my nerves.)

After years of cheap haircuts at Great Clips, I was determined to find a hairdresser I could afford and appreciate. Thankfully, I found that at a men's hair salon, of all places. I have been getting outstanding senior women's cuts from Amelia at Manscapes Salon. She gave me a sense of confidence I lacked and helped me settle on a style I was comfortable with and capable of maintaining. I tried to time the cut, but may have been off by a week (it looked best one week prior to the wedding, sob).

Formal events scare me. While I'm not a country bumpkin (despite living in a rural enclave), I'm not comfortable in high society. The wedding took place at the Hotel Crescent Court in Dallas, Texas. It was absolutely stunning and gorgeous. Elaborate glass sculptures hung from the ceiling. Large canvas art adorned the walls. I felt a bit like an imposter, an ugly duckling among swans, but was surprised by how much I enjoyed the proceedings.

We flew into Dallas on Thursday evening and, apart from our experience at a sketchy McDonalds nearby (sought for a close, quick, inexpensive meal), enjoyed our Home 2 Suites stay and breakfast. Friday morning, we took an Uber to the tux shop with luggage in tow (another ugly duckling among swans experience as we looked a bit homeless amid the grandeur of Culwell & Son). Next, we headed for Hotel Crescent Court. John waited for our room's availability and Sean and I attended groomsmen/bridesmaid luncheons. (My meal at Sixty Vines was so delicious that we ate there for lunch again on Saturday with my father.)

Now that my mother is deceased, my father is free to travel for weddings. He safely drove all the way from Florida to Texas for my nephew's wedding in July, so he felt confident in making the trek again for Bryce's wedding. This time around, however, he left on Wednesday 9/25, just a day ahead of the expected landfall for Hurricane Helene. I was nervous on his behalf, but he managed to get ahead of the storm. (Although, he did arrive later than I'd hoped and missed the initial moments of the rehearsal where we discussed his entrance, given his current use of a power wheelchair.)

After the rehearsal, we paused for photos (snapped by their outstanding professional photographer, Sami Kathryn Photography):

The rehearsal dinner took place at The Henry, a restaurant with a great patio view of the Dallas skyline. It was, perhaps, the best meal I've eaten in a very long time. The meal started with an appetizer of house made pretzel balls with fondue. This was followed by a Caesar salad. For the entree, I ordered the braised short rib with bourbon caramel, roasted mushroom, fourme d'ambert, and smashed potatoes. The meat was so tender it melted in my mouth. Just when I thought the meal couldn't get any better, they brought out the dessert: a chocolate fudge torte with peanut butter crunch, milk chocolate mousse, and candied peanut caramel. Knowing I needed to fit into my dress, I intended to only eat half, yet somehow bite after bite cleared the plate clean. If you're ever in Dallas, this dessert deserves a special trip!

Saturday's wedding was beautiful, memorable, and fun. Here's a family photo taken by the photographer:

Here are a few snapped with my camera:

The wedding was held in the courtyard with an expected crowd of around 100-125 people. I wanted Bryce and Elizabeth to be able to invite their Purdue and work friends. It was an adult only affair and there are 19 cousins/spouses on my side, several with small children. Thus, the only cousins invited were on my husband's side (4). Family members who were able to attend really had a great time! They enjoyed a delicious meal, wedding cake, and dancing. John and I sat watching most of the festivities and wondered how our youngest knew words to all the dance songs. He had a great time dancing in the ballroom with his brother and new sister-in-law. I enjoyed snatches of conversation with Bryce's two close high school friends, Cameron and Dylan.

At 10:30 p.m., Bryce and Elizabeth strode down a tunnel of guests for a fake send-off (my photo). 

Then everyone but us returned to the ballroom for an afterparty that ran until midnight. John and I were happily in bed in contented sleep by 11. And now, I have a daughter-in-law. Yippee!

(This beautiful bridal portrait was taken by the professional photographer, obviously)

Bryce sent this photo from their honeymoon in the Maldives:

Thanks to the storms in our area after Hurricane Helene, we were somewhat concerned we'd return home to find no power to open our garage door. We thanked God when we found our home safe and sound. The following morning, however, we looked out the window to this shocking sight:

You can see in the first photo how dreadful it could have been if it fell in another direction and hit the power line by the roof. The second photo barely shows the extensive destruction of the fence to John's garden. We are grateful to the Lord for a blessed weekend, safe flights, protection over our home in our absence, and for the joy of gaining a daughter-in-law.

Reminders of Sweetness Amid the Sour

My beloved prodigal is approaching a special birthday - 2 decades of life. For him, this is an accomplishment as he has done much to challenge this landmark. Indeed, I wonder if he is a cat, with the requisite nine lives. He has "slipped the noose" repeatedly and this wears on my emotional reserves. My husband cannot bear to look at sweet photos from the past in the midst of our current crisis. However, I needed the reminder of his sweetness and a dozen or so years that were free from the scourge of drug use. God gifted Trevor into our lives almost 20 years ago, and despite much sorrow, grief, and discouragement, I will fix my eyes on the many blessings his life has provided us.

I'm not a photographer. I don't often capture images. Thus, I scoured my blog, grateful for this catalog of memories that I sometimes fail to bring forth. Trevor has always been bright, creative, funny, and thoughtful. I found numerous examples of personalized cards he made for me (often with poetry). Ever artistic (here's art from age 10), he created images paired with sentiments he knew would touch my heart. While the cards are lost in the pack-rat detritus of my life, I can look back on my blog and enjoy the sentiments, the art, and the boy behind these kind gestures.

In my earliest photos of Trevor (from 2008), he was almost constantly in super hero attire. Indeed, on one visit to the library, they pulled me aside and gave me a large stuffed Spiderman. They were purging it from the library possessions and wanted to pass it along to the young boy who always came in dressed as Spiderman.

In 2009, we added our first dog, Harley, to the mix and Trev was very fond of him:

Mid-2009, he cut his own hair (worried it might be too long like his 13-year-old brother's hair):

In November of 2009, I captured this sweet and hilarious video of Trevor reciting The Lord's Prayer. He had learned this in his Christian preschool class. During the recitation, he accidentally burped, then cracked up when I exclaimed that I didn't remember that as part of the prayer.

In 2010, Trev got ahold of a blow torch and singed his bangs off (like I said, his guardian angel works overtime!) - go here to read the whole story and my funny friend Laura's quip in reaction to the tale):

That same year, Trev set up shop selling us his artwork and, in the fall, began kindergarten:

Looking at the photo above, reminds me of another guardian angel moment (on this day his jeans caught in the bike chain and, unable to stop, he zoomed across our street - where cars often speed past at 40-50 mph - safely and miraculously landing on the grass across the street).

In 2011, he went for a brief visit with grandma and found his granddad's war helmet, rode the zipline at CBLI, and became interested in football:

In 2013, we continued to enjoy the zipline at camp:

In 2015, Trevor and I took a special spring break trip to visit with my parents in Florida. He caught a lizard and set him free (despite accidentally severing his tail):

In 2017, he proudly displayed a fish catch at CBLI:

This was also the age of his bottle-flipping stage and in spring of 2018, he created this hilarious basketball spoof video:

The last two photos are from the cusp of our problems with Trevor, when he broke his leg during the first football game of his 8th grade season:

(This is another photo that stirs intense gratitude. We praise God that He spared Trevor's life and the lives of others near the accident that totaled the truck recently.)

It is good to reminisce over the sweeter days amid ones that leave a sour taste in our mouths. We are grateful for the prayers of so many, lifting Trevor before the Lord. I anxiously await his return to the sweet person he was prior to this departure into drug use and rebellion. May God help us cling to Him when timing doesn't speed along Trevor's recovery and return. May the guardian angels, who have prevented numerous perils in the past, continue to protect him.

We love you, Trevor! Don't ever forget it! We long to see you healed of this addiction, but you are a gift, even amid the pain!

September 2024 This and That

The stresses of July and August persist into September, but we have much to be grateful for. In the spring, Sean joined the high school volleyball team. The repetitive jumping did no favors for his knees and he has battled injuries to his knees and ankles ever since. He is a team captain this year, so he represents the team in those initial moments of the opponent handshakes and the coin toss. He loves the sport, but I'm always worried about possible injury. Indeed, their team has struggled this year because 5 or 6 starting players have been out on injury, including the quarterback who played so effectively for the team last year.

These photos show Sean and the seniors on the team:

Sean and his girlfriend Claire were on the Homecoming Court this year. John and I attended the game and watched from far back in the stands (we choose these seats because they have backs to the bleachers - oh, how our tired backs appreciate this support by the end of the game). I snagged some photos from others (because my attempts are always horrible - the only photo I took is the one below):

They also attended the Homecoming Dance:

Sean and Claire provide great fun for me these days as we often compete by playing the New York Times games (Connections, Wordle, and The Mini Crossword). Of course, having said that, I must acknowledge that they usually smoke me. Still, I'm glad they let me join in the games with them.

Just to make life interesting, we had a well issue again this September. John was downstairs when he heard a pop and, checking everything, found the deep freezer had no power. He called electricians and plugged the deep freezer and water heater into extension cords. We also had no water (something about the pump electrical system failing). While waiting, he brought up the portable water heater he keeps for emergencies. Alas, when he turned that on, he heard a whoosh, and it burst into flames. Since it has a propane tank on it, he immediately grabbed the thing and ran it outside, the whole time praying fervently that it would not explode. Praise God, it didn't, but it gave him quite a scare.

The electricians could not address the well issue, so we had to call the well company to come the following morning. Sean and I went to stay in the local Home 2 Suites (if you read my blog regularly, you know how much I love that hotel chain). We had a lovely experience and I came away with more fodder for my fan affections.

Just above the coffee station, I discovered this little shelf of books available to read. Isn't that cool! Of course, we were only there overnight, and I'd already read a few of these titles (especially loved that they had a copy of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine). We were grateful to have the well back up and running by the following afternoon. So, despite injuries, stress, and home issues, we are focusing on the positives and happy to have joy amid the challenges.

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Side note: Ten years ago, my favorite read of the year was The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachael Joyce. I loved his journey, his introspection, and the redemptive resolution the journey brought. The movie version recently came available on Hoopla and I watched it this past weekend. I had forgotten the specifics of the difficulties Harold had with his son. I must say, it was very difficult to watch. It brought me to tears because it hit too close to home. So, as much as I loved that novel, I now believe it should come with a trigger warning: tough content and heart-wrenching emotions addressed.

Mid-month Mention #2: Russells Point, Ohio

My cousin Karin is the kind of person who senses and seeks to fill a need. She knows many of the details of our struggle with a prodigal and the magnitude of our challenges recently. Thus, she suggested a girl's getaway. With my oldest son's wedding looming, I wasn't sure I'd be able to swing it, but when pressures intensified at home, I knew I needed the break. Karin planned everything and I enjoyed every moment of our overnight to Russells Point, Ohio.

We stayed at a lovely little AirBnB. It was cozy and comfortable, with a room for each of us and an ample living/kitchen area:

After a quick tour of the accommodations, Karin presented me with a girls' weekend gift bag. She knows purple is my favorite color, thus the purple beach blanket and the purple tumbler. Plus, she tucked the adorable bride/groom clothespin in as a special homemade gift:

Our first stop was a lunch trip to the Cranberry Resort lake-side restaurant in Indian Lake, Ohio:

We followed this with a small walk on a nature trail at Pew Island:

Come along and experience it for yourself via this link to a YouTube video.

Next we wandered, looking over the landscape, stopping for a bit of shopping, and exploring a delightful farmer's market at Hurley Farms, in Huntsville, Ohio. During our jaunt out, I noticed a sign for London Bobby Fish and Chips. When we went later to find it again, we thought we were in the wrong place, but learned it is inside an adjoining business called Cassano's Pizza. It turns out, in 2012, 30 years after the London Bobby fish and chips shops closed, Cassano's Pizza decided to bring it back to the Dayton area. You can read about it here.

We followed our evening meal with a trek up the steep Sandy Beach Bridge and enjoyed more lovely views of the water and lakeside areas. What a calming, peaceful location!

Sunday, after checking out of the AirBnB, we returned to Pew Island for a picnic lunch by the water and another trail walk. Then we went back to the Hurley Farms market for more fresh produce shopping and one final selfie together:

This little 25-hour jaunt was just what I needed. I returned home refreshed, filled-up, encouraged, bolstered, and restored. Something about being in nature (and especially around water) just does a body good!