2026 Baby Bucket List - August Progress

 

(Photo by Jeff Kingma on Unsplash)

At the end of 2025, I made a small bucket list of easy-to-achieve goals. The original list included 23 restaurants, 3 festivals, 4 destinations, and 7 movies. By the end of February, I had only checked off 3 items. By the end of May, I'd completed an additional 7 (mostly movies).

Now I would say I feel less motivated to tackle anything, but have more opportunity to do so. Getting away was always hard, given our struggle with our son's addiction. You never knew when crisis might strike. Somehow, we managed to take two small trips to Bedford, Indiana. The first time, in June, we got dinner and treated ourselves to a visit to Jiffy Treet (an amazing ice cream shop that would have been on my initial list if I'd thought of heading down that way). We stayed overnight, so we could pick Trevor up from the treatment center first thing in the morning. Then we took him home, transferred his car into his name (had been in my husband's name), and moved him into his Indy halfway house. 

The second time we went to Bedford, it was in our own interest (as an anniversary getaway). We drove to Blue Springs Caverns and took an hour-long cave boat tour. Yikes! That was interesting! We survived a potential overturned boat, a minute of total darkness, and then a terrifying minute when the tour guide couldn't get the boat re-started. I had visions of being stuck down there indefinitely. The motor had gotten lodged on a piece of rock. Thankfully, once the tour guide shifted it off that, the boat started up again and we were on our way out of that confining space.

We checked into our hotel, had an excellent dinner out, and then met friends at Jiffy Treet for another special dessert. The following morning, we headed back to the treatment center doubting anyone would be able to take the time to speak with us. What a blessing to find we were wrong! The director took time out of her busy schedule to meet with us for an hour to discuss Trevor. She shared details about his time there and things about what he indicated as struggles. It was so comforting to talk about him. She was empathetic and personable, sharing how addiction has affected her life.

I ended up seeing one additional movie between May and August. Sean wanted me to experience The Odyssey. He had gone and really enjoyed it. I, on the other hand, regret it. I thought it was far too violent, disturbing, and crass. Oh, well. Each to his own. 

As for restaurants, early in July, before Trevor's death, John and I made it to Cheddars. After Trevor's death, a friend took me out for lunch at a favorite of mine, Boulder Creek. We also went to Olive Garden for an anniversary dinner on that date. Toward the end of August, I went with a group of women to Rockstar Pizza. All of those were on the original list. Combined with the addition of the two trips to Jiffy Treat, we made it to six restaurants from the list between the end of May and the end of August.

We missed the Amo Fish Fry Festival in June. To be honest, I don't even know where Amo is. Ha! Who knows? Perhaps we'll make it to Danville's Fair-on-the-Square and Plainfield's Quaker Days next month. We may have to force ourselves to get out and about, but it is probably good for us in the midst of grieving.

Book Review: The Summer of Second Chances

This cover, along with a dementia story line, drew me. I rarely read young adult novels because so many published today have an agenda or are filled with scenes I wouldn't want teens reading. K.L. Walther, in The Summer of Second Chances, hints at a bedroom scene, but does not confirm it with details. To be honest, it implies that the father (who changed his daughter's vacation accomodations to avoid indiscretions) now suddenly gives permission for her to share a tent with her boyfriend overnight, unsupervised. That was a bit of a stretch for me. But, the storyline was interesting enough.

Olivia Lupo spends much of her days visiting her beloved grandmother at the assisted living facility in the memory care unit. Her grandmother raised her after the death of Olivia's mother. Now, Olivia's step-mother is convinced she needs to get away from the intensity of these visits. The family heads to spend 3 weeks on Martha's Vineyard. The only reason Olivia goes along with this plan is because she recently discovered her grandmother spent summers in that location and may have had a romance. She decides to retrace her grandmother's steps, following some photos she discovers in an old box.

I struggled with my mother's dementia before her death. It is hard to separate the emotional outbursts and sometimes caustic behavior from the parent you wish was still in there. My mother raged at me (even cursing me) on my final visit with her. That is shattering. I cannot imagine facing that as a teen. Walther faithfully portrays the emotional tension and heartbreak. Despite the deep subject, the romance was lighthearted and fun. Although I have never been to Martha's Vineyard, I would imagine a reader familiar with that area would enjoy re-visiting those scenes vicariously. In the end, I rooted for a happy ending for Olivia.

Book Review: Mattering

Earlier this month, we had the privilege of speaking with a family who met Trevor at the time of his tragic accident on July 3rd. An off-duty officer was visiting at his parent's home when they heard the sound of the crash. The officer and his mother rushed to the scene. Trevor was terribly shaken. Although their interactions were brief, they said Trevor made a great impression on them. The officer said Trevor hugged him and, being a weightlifter himself, he was impressed by Trevor's strength. Trev openly admitted his fault and expressed concern for the other driver. He was genuinely gutted. I'm sure the officer and his mother were both worried about Trevor in the middle of his crisis. They said they continued to think of him for days afterwards, and were then shocked and dismayed to learn of Trevor's death. The mother told me it has changed how she interacts with people, because you never know when an interaction with someone might be your last. Plus, it touched us that they took the time to share these interactions after the fact.

This book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, changed me in a similar way. A graphic on the Amazon page highlights readers who might be drawn to this book. I fit the target audience several times over. It is for "a seasoned parent doing their best" [and feeling like it may not have been good enough], for "anyone who hasn't heard yet how much they matter," for "a retiree wondering what's next," for "an empty nester struggling to find a new purpose," and "a person feeling adrift." Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. After reading the inspiring novel about mattering, Reports of His Death Have Been Greatly Exagerrated, this non-fiction book brings home that fictional illustration. We all long for, dare I say need, deep connection and purpose.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace identifies 5 factors in feeling like you matter. 1) "Recognition - your actions are valued, and your absence would be felt;" 2) "Reliance - you feel needed because others depend on you;" 3) "Importance - you're prioritized;" 4) "Ego Extension - others are invested in your well-being;" and 5) "Attunement - you feel deeply understood and meaningfully responded to." These spokes must be addressed in order to have a sense of purpose in life. Much like Brad Aronson's Humankind, this book gives ample illustrations of ways people invest in mattering. I loved the idea of calling a "Code Lavender" for psychological emergencies that require intervention to meet those needs.

So, how do we increase our sense of mattering? Wallace suggests we use the "mattering lens." Ask yourself what part of mattering is lacking: sense of impact, feeling relied upon, prioritized, attuned to, or invested in? The steps are also two-fold (especially for those facing transitions - my hand is raised). First, seek to let others in (read books, listen to podcasts, find others in the same transition to connect with). Second, shift to finding a way to meet someone else's need in the world (use actions or words to tell someone else they matter). Speak into their lives when you get a chance!

I loved this insight, "The surest way to sustain our own sense of mattering is to focus on making others feel like they matter. The shift from 'I matter' to 'we matter' gives us both the long-term resilience and legacy we crave." So, when tempted to say, "Poor me, I have few deep connections and little purpose," I need to take steps to increase connection (just like my addicted son flailed because of lack of connection, I too flail for the same reasons). I need to find things that will give my life purpose and meaning. In the past, so much of my identity was in my writing. When things make that difficult, my purpose takes a hit.

This is a vitally important book. Our society is riddled with loneliness. As jobs get sucked up by AI, where will people feel like they make a difference or their life matters? We tune out and connect virtually, rather than in-person. I'm as guilty as the next. It is easier to sit on my phone seeking fake connection than to take the steps and risks to form real connection. The world is full of people who need to know they matter, who need others to take the time to focus on them and really listen. I'm grateful for these two individuals who made my son feel he mattered, and shared with us his impact on them.

 

Book Review: To Find Where She Belongs

This book, To Find Where She Belongs, is the 4th book in the Christian Fiction Reading Challenge. That's a bit misleading. It seems many of the books in this challenge are the newest books in an existing series. When I signed on, I was content to add 12 prescribed titles to my year's reading. However, given the number of books that follow other titles, the number continues to increase. (In all, if one read every title of each series represented, it comes to 32 books! That is far more than some read in an entire year. Of course, you don't have to read each book in every series listed.) Hmm. I'm still considering whether I will stick with this challenge. When I came to this April selection, I decided against reading Robin Lee Hatcher's previous four titles in this The British Are Coming series.

This is also a Western book (not my favorite category). I plugged on anyway, partly because I so enjoy Hatcher's author newsletters. Keely Boyle is a young Irish woman who fears her safety after a man in power makes unwanted advances. She steals to gain money for passage to America, hoping to find sanctuary with a friend who has always raved about a ranch he loves in Idaho. As Keely settles in to ranch life, she battles guilt and shame for the sin she committed in desperation. Then, sparks begin to fly between Keely and the young ranch owner, William Overstreet.

This book provides great commentary on sin and guilt, grace and redemption. God's love can overcome the deepest shame and restore relationships. The problems on the ranch (poisoned water and dying cattle) resolved a bit more quickly than I expected, but added a further layer of conflict. All in all, this was an enjoyable read, even if it was outside of my normal fare (I'm just not a cowboy person).

Overdose Prevention and Awareness Day 2026

Yesterday was Overdose Prevention and Awareness Day. I went back and forth on whether I should upload my son's photo and information to pages I saw on my Facebook feed (oh, how they target you for what they know about you). I'm leery of proclaiming too much about him or his experience, especially on Facebook. I distrust Meta.

However, this week we received the coroner's report on Trevor's death. It was determined he died of "acute fent@nyl and coc@aine toxicity." There was so much in his system it would not have mattered if help had arrived sooner. Unable to determine whether or not it was intentional, they labelled it "undetermined." We will never know if he was simply looking for a temporary release, or if he was overwhelmed with all the uncertainties and shifting realities in his life and decided to seek more permanent release. 

Regardless of intent or not, the access to these drugs decimating families is abominable! Something must be done! It is too easy for others to look on and say, "That would never happen to my child because I'm a better parent... because I have better control over what they do... because my child would never seek out drugs." Unfortunately, many young people who are dying today think they are taking a harmless X@n@x pill or something else, with no idea it may be laced with the super small amounts of fent needed to kill one. Seriously! It is equivalent to two grains of salt! Yet, others look on and look away because it has not affected them.

I agree with all those things I have seen proclaimed for Overdose Prevention and Awareness Day. My son was gone too soon! He was deeply loved! He mattered! We need to end the stigma and address the problem. We need to fight this unconscionable evil!

(Wichita, KS billboard)

Book Review: Your Story Matters

I've had this book, by Leslie Leyland Fields, highlighted in my Hoopla favorites (a sort of to-be-read notation) for months. I'm so glad I finally picked up Your Story Matters. Only 2-1/2 chapters in, I recommended it to my friend, Beth, who is considering writing a memoir and has asked me to help her. This book will help far more than I can. Indeed, I'd venture to say, she could write her book herself by following the instruction and encouragement provided in Your Story Matters: Finding, Writing, and Living the Truth of Your Life.

Each of us has a story. Every story is meaningful and important. When we share our stories, we impact the lives of others for good. Not only that, we process and live out the truths God is trying to teach us through the paths where He leads. So, this is not only a writing book. It is chock-full of encouragement to give our stories back to the Master and share them with the people around us, with purpose. You may not consider yourself a writer. But Fields insists your story matters, whether it is told in a few pages to a handful of friends or written in a book for the masses.

I loved that she referenced quotes by Fredrick Buechner, from his memoir, Telling Secrets. He writes, "It is precisely through these stories in all the particularity... that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally. If this is true, it means that to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually." 

Fields emphasizes how words flesh out God's redemptive purposes for our pain and trials: "Often, redemption comes simply by bringing language--which is bringing light--to the silence. Every time we lock up a person, an event, even an entire decade in the Closet of Forgetting and Denial, we're robbing ourselves of the strength and wisdom that can come from those experiences. Those events came to us with purpose.... We get to shepherd and steward these burdens, all of them--the beautiful, the brilliant, and the horrid.... We have another chance to reclaim and redeem those moments. And sometimes they are redeemed simply by being faced and called out of the dark. When we can name our ghosts, they haunt us less."

Her questions and prompts at the end of each chapter are invaluable. Her insights come from years of writing and teaching writing. If God is going to use our stories as a witness to His power and purpose, we must be willing to share them. As Fields says, "Our job is to tell the truth, to simply write from who we are, where we've been, and we trust God for the rest." I came away energized to share my story for God's glory!

Book Review: Pray Big

Alistair Begg's little book, Pray Big: Learn to Pray Like an Apostle, is chock-full of encouragement and inspiration for praying. If you have read my blog at all before, you will know I am a huge fan of importunate prayers. These are the kind of prayers that feel impossible, but for God's vast omnipotence. We have seen God answer prayers that seemed outlandish and overwhelming. He can accomplish what we cannot. We never have to fear that we have asked God for too much!

At first, I listened to this book on my library's Hoopla account. This was such a blessing because it is narrated by the author himself, with his delightful Scottish lilt. How I would love to hear Begg preach in person! For now, I settle for clips I find on Facebook. As I listened, I wanted to pause and take notes, but I was walking on the treadmill. Instead, I snagged a paperback copy from my local church library and took notes after listening.

Begg encourages the reader to pray with great scope and purpose. We don't want to merely bring God our shopping list of needs and requests. We pray out of dependence and out of strong trust in God's almighty abilities to intervene. We must recognize our great need of Him. We cannot fix problems in our lives on our own (I felt this deeply in our walk with an addict). Begg gives 5 qualities Paul prays for the Ephesians: focus, hope, riches (not wealth, but a spiritual inheritance), power, and love.

We need to see what we really have. He writes, "Too often, as Christians we live like someone who has been given a full-board ticket on a cruise ship, and who sits on their deckchair eating crackers and drinking water because they haven't realized that all the food is free with their ticket." Paul reminds the Ephesians that they have been given "every spiritual blessing." A bit further on, Begg writes, "There is nothing you can ask for, or think of asking for, about which he does not say, I am able to do better than that." 

Begg peppers these pages with lines from famous hymns. This was such a blessing. His words inspire my praying. I loved this line: "Small prayers betray a suspicion that we have a small God." But by bigger, Begg is not encouraging things like health, wealth, and happiness (your general wish list), but rather "to be filled with his fullness, to be able to grasp the unknowable love of Christ, to live for the treasures of your future inheritance. We must pray for our own sake, for the sake of others, and for His [God's] sake. May my prayers be big, bold, and importunate, revealing trust in a big God.

Mid-month Mention: Overdose Awareness Month

August 2026 marks the 25th anniversary of International Overdose Awareness Day (August 31). Sadly, this campaign to raise awareness is needed now more than ever. The fent@nyl epidemic is taking lives left and right. Something must be done. 

You can go to Overdose Day to find events in your area (if you click on USA it will bring up cities in alphabetical order and highlight events near you). If you are near Indianapolis, there will be an event held by Overdose Lifeline on August 23rd. Click here for that information.

In light of our own tragic loss, I ask that you say a prayer for these efforts to raise awareness and seek prevention.

Here are some images I gleaned from Facebook highlighting more information and events related to this:

 

Book Review: We Are Never Getting Together

I listened to this fun young adult novel in June. We Are Never Getting Together by Janette Rallison is a clean read. It tells the story of Madeline and Cooper, whose pranks against each other land them in the principal's office. Their parents are called in and seem obviously attracted to one another. Thus, Madeline and Cooper decide to fake date in hopes of keeping their parents apart. The pranks are fun. The tension ramps up. Of course, they cannot stay enemies forever, especially while pretending to be a couple. I liked Cooper more than Madeline, but did come around to her by the end of the story. There are so few clean YA reads out there. This one was worth the time investment.

Book Review: Where Prayer Becomes Real

I struggled to get into this book on prayer, Where Prayer Becomes Real. Writers Kyle Strobel and John Coe present a sufficient argument that in order to be real with God, we must be honest in our prayer. After reading one hour, I set the book aside for almost a week. I couldn't bring myself to give up on a prayer book, though. They outline 5 types of prayers: praying the psalms, prayers of intention, prayers of recollection, prayers of examine, and prayers of intercession.

If ever one wanted to see an example of honest praying, you only need to visit the psalms in the Bible. David and others pour out their heart, their lament, their worship, and their praise. I think my favorite sections were on praying The Psalms, examining your days and life, and interceding for others. The authors identify a common struggle. "When tragedy strikes and we pray, sometimes it feels like the smallest possible gesture. But intercession is no mere gesture. Intercession is a prayer of faith, and we are present to another to carry them, in the Spirit, to the Father." They argue for the importance of being present to the individuals we are lifting to the throne. [I wrote this review in June, but I feel the significance of this deeply now!]

At the end of the book, Strobel and Coe present mini callings for prayer. They suggest, 1) you must intend to be with God as He really is; 2) resist turning to fantasy and prayers of magic; 3) be honest with God in about your heart's longings without cleaning them up to be more acceptable; and 4) live in the truth of who you are in Christ. While this wasn't my favorite book on prayer (probably J. C. Ryle's Do You Pray?), it did spur me on to greater honesty with God in the face of personal trials. 

Book Review: Stronger Than the Storm - Highly Recommend

This riveting debut novel, Stronger Than the Storm, by Deena Adams, had me locked in from the start. With well-drawn characters and intense conflicts, the story demands just another page. It resonated with me because of our journey with a wayward adult son. However, any parent will put themselves in these shoes and learn something about themselves from the journey. We all regret our mistakes. The book is gritty, real, and raw. Life is the same. God grows us the most in the midst of storms. It could be summed up in a simple sentence: The scars of sin run deep, but God's grace soothes and heals.

Beth Holbrook is elated by an offer of publication for her parenting book. As a pastor's wife and parenting coach, things are at a high point. Within the space of one day, those successes begin to crumble, when her 18-year-old daughter runs away. Leesa is on a self-destructive path. Indeed, she digs her hole deeper and deeper as the pages fly by. (Oh, how I could relate!) 

Beth and her husband Kevin, like many couples parenting a prodigal, have differing opinions on the necessary response. These pages articulated the very difficulties I fought in seeking the best course of action with my wayward son. They illustrate the gamut of emotions parents and prodigals experience. Will the ripples from Leesa's sin spill over to fracture Beth and Kevin's marriage? Can God bring good from hopeless, unwanted situations?  

The book has won several awards. It earned first place in the American Fiction Awards for the religious fiction category and Contemporary Novel of the Year in the Christian Market Book Awards. I was grateful to read this story of God's redemption, prior to Trevor's death, because it reminded me of God's presence in the battle. Pain drives prodigals, but their pain spills over into other lives. This book is important! Sin scars the entire family. But God... works with our weaknesses to reveal His strengths, and praise God, He is stronger than any storm we face! We can count on God's providential hand to carry us when wounded and weary, and redeem us when broken and spent.

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I moved this review up in my queue as it is currently on sale in e-book form for a few more days. Snag the savings! You won't regret it!

 

Series Review: The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion - Highly Recommend

Following the buzz, in June, I dipped my toe into the delightful world of The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion and did not want to depart. In very short order, I listened to Volumes 1-8 on the Hoopla app. I cannot wait for the ninth installment to release (although I worry my library will not have access, or I will be far down on the hold list). I will seek it in audio form again. The narrator Genevieve Gaunt does an outstanding job! If you enjoy Victorian England, these books will surely hook you!

Emma M. Lion is a young woman alone in Victorian England. Although her parents' deaths should have left her with Lapis Lazuli House, an odd relative has been living there and ripping through her inheritance monies. Now that she is finally ensconsed in the house, she seeks to rectify these wrongs and find her place in society. Her journals are delightful. The cast of characters surrounding her make the reader wish to enter this world for real.

I was thrilled when Emma mentioned the very street I lived on when I spent six months on a work visa in London, Sydenham Hill. With each installment, I was sucked deeper and deeper into the story. Emma is fiesty and independent. Her friends are colorful and conflicted. You cannot help but be swept away into this alternate reality.

My only complaint is that the books attempt to push a feminist agenda. I know Victorian London. Emma would not have waltzed independently through life in those times. Yet, still... I absolutely loved these books! I'm willing to suspend disbelief, to overlook historical inaccuracies, because I love Emma and all her entourage of young male friends (suitors?). I love her stream-of-consciousness commentary. Each book ends with a listing of her growing library of books. This is enchanting! I highly recommend this series, and especially in audio form. I'm even hoping the books will continue well past book nine.

Book Review: By Design

Susan Hunt's By Design was on my personal shelves. I used this as supplemental reading with my morning devotions. The book was written in 1994. If feminism was encroaching at the time of publication, it has since exploded. Indeed, many women will be angered if they pick this up today. I, however, am a complimentarian. I believe in God's design for men and women. I embrace this call to complement one another as He prescribed.

Susan Hunt writes first to define women's distinctiveness and society's distortions. Secondly, she outlines the various aspects of a woman's role as helper. Each chapter begins with a mini-biography of a godly, role-fulfilling woman. These are engaging and inspiring vignettes. We read of Sarah Martin's prison ministry, Ann Hamilton's legacy, and Elizabeth Fry's Newgate prison transformation. The most stirring mini-biography provides the story of Valetta Steel, author of Thrice Through the Valley (a book I'd love to find and read). Her faith in the midst of abundant trials and tragedies encourages me to press on through my own trials and tragedies. I will keep this book, if for this mini-biography alone.

I needed Hunt's words about the role of helper-supporter. Marriage can bring its own trials. Hunt reminds the reader, "When you get married, you step to the front lines of a war zone, and the enemy is not your mate... the real enemy of your marriage knows the effectiveness of the 'divide and conquer' strategy.... The only way you will survive this conflict is to recognize and stand together against your common enemy and to embrace... the original American Dream of propagating and advancing the Gospel of the Kingdom of Christ in every remote neighborhood, apartment building, suburb, mobile home park, condominium, and retirement village in our country." Oh, how the enemy is seeking to divide and conquer in the midst of our grief. We covet your prayers.

I loved, too, that the author honed in on my verse of the year, 2 Corinthians 2:14. In this section, she mentions a scene from Pilgrim's Progress when Christian and Hopeful approach the River of Death before the gates of the Celestial City. When they step in, Christian begins to sink and cries out, "I sink in deep water; the billows go over my head; all His waves go over me." But Hopeful replies, "Be of good cheer. I feel the bottom and it is good." (This same passage was emphasized in the book about depression, Companions in the Darkness.) Those times (some I'm enduring now) when God knocks the props out from under us, cause us to hit bottom and recognize God's strength and solid foundation.