Laying Our Son to Rest

God, in His mercy, numbed my feelings and emotions for the first few weeks in the shock of my middle son's unexpected death. Outwardly, it looked as if I wasn't grieving. Inwardly, disbelief reverberated. Now that the funeral is over, my emotions are coming to the surface more. But, the time leading up to the funeral was so busy, we hardly had time to think or emote. 

We were blessed by countless people who came forward to love and support us in this trial. I kept wishing Trevor could see all the expressions of love and appreciation others felt for him and for us, through him. My friend, Heidi, told me she's convinced he does know. She wrote, "After my mom died, I had a vision/visitation of her sitting next to me and telling me that the pain she went through was gone and that ALL was known - she was SO happy! I believe ALL is now known to Trevor, including the love people have expressed during the last week and the love and support you and family gave during his life." This was such a comforting thought to share!

The day after Trevor's death, our oldest son, Bryce, flew from Dallas to be with us. What a comfort and blessing his presence brought! Somehow, it made the grief more bearable. Plus, he was invaluable to us. He set to work on a photo slideshow to put up on the funeral home's obituary page. He scoured my phone and my computer for images. He must have asked John, as well, because he used an impressive photo of Trevor's bodybuilding physique (some wondered if it was AI).

I'm sure Bryce emphasized photos from his earlier years, happy years before the drug associations and drug use. He was our exuberant little boy, and we have many fond memories of those carefree days. It was a big help and huge blessing to have Bryce handle that important piece. He was also helpful during the necessary meetings. When we met with the funeral director, Bryce took notes. He compiled and sent us a file of things to do (it all would have disappeared from my consciousness quickly). He accompanied us to select and purchase a gravesite (near his grandmother's headstone). He, again, took notes throughout our meeting with the pastor, as we arranged the funeral service songs and order.

God brought me to the wonderful songs that we used for his service. I came across "Approach, My Soul," by John Newton, in the Sing Hymnal I received for Mother's Day. We printed this inside the memory folder passed out to those in attendance. The words emphasize our desperate need of God's salvation and His gift of eternal life: "Bowed down beneath a load of sin, by Satan sorely pressed, by wars without and fears within, I come to Thee for rest... guilty sinners such as I might plead Thy gracious name!"

We used "It is Well," by Horatio Spafford, to signal the start of the service. This hymn was written in great grief after the unexpected deaths of his four daughters in a shipwreck. Crossing the exact site of their drowning, Spafford penned words to affirm his deep trust in God amid inexplicable loss. For the condensed slideshow, we selected Casting Crowns' song, "Scars in Heaven." The lyrics gutted me: "If I had only known the last time would be the last time." "What I'd give for one more day with you." "I know you're in a place where all your wounds have been erased, and knowing yours are healed is healing mine."

"He Will Hold Me Fast" was supposed to play after the family reflections, but it came after the eulogy. I love these lyrics, as well: "When the tempter would prevail, He will hold me fast. I could never keep my hold through life's fearful path, for my love is often cold. He must hold me fast... He'll not let my soul be lost, his promises shall last. Bought by Him at such great cost, He will hold me fast." What a beautiful arrangement by Kristyn and Keith Getty! What a solid proclamation of God's unending grace!

I doubt people really took in the lyrics to the departing song, "Christ is Mine Forevermore." This was another one found in The Sing Hymnal with poignant lyrics: "Mine are days that God has numbered. I was made to walk with Him; yet, I look for worldly treasure and forsake the King of Kings... Christ has paid for every failing, I am His forevermore... Mine are tears in times of sorrow, darkness not yet understood. Through the valley I must travel where I see no earthly good... I know my pain will not be wasted."

My sister-in-law, Miriam, was a great help for the family fellowship prior to the funeral. As I said, I'm not a gifted hostess. I don't easily whip up meals on command, even on a normal day, let alone a stressful one. After Miriam arrived and set out a spread of desserts and drinks, she agreed to look over my outfit choices. We ended up running back to Kohl's to exchange a top for a smaller size (I tend to seek very roomy clothes). I so appreciated her time and attention to these needs.

The time together in our home with family was beneficial and comforting. We talked about old times and memories of Trevor. Thankfully, Bryce and Elizabeth ran to get a large quantity of Chik-fil-A, so meal needs were met and I was able to set out the spread of veggies and snacks I had purchased for the gathering. On one end of our table, all the engineers talked engineering and the other end rehashed stories and spoke of my youngest brother's architectural projects. Many family members did not arrive until late the night before the funeral and my brother Mark's family drove up from Kentucky for the day. We had family come in from many other corners: Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Texas.

Blogger that I am, I wanted photos, but knew I'd be preoccupied and unable. My sister agreed to help. I'm sure it was uncomfortable trying to snap images in a room of grieving guests. She did an outstanding job, as evidenced by the photos accompanying this funeral recap post.

The hardest part was viewing his empty body. Trevor, of course, did not look like Trevor. He was not there. It was a vessel devoid of his spark and spirit. I could not have captured an image of his body. Dawn delicately snapped this shot:

We said our good-byes and let the grief wash over us. I told him, "I wanted more time!" Then, we allowed his girlfriend time to say her good-byes. 

Next, came a blur of greeting people who attended the visitation. A member of my BSF group came by briefly to bring flowers and give a hug. Four friends from the Women Forming Friendships in West Indy Facebook group came to offer comfort. Five of our friends drove all the way from Champaign-Urbana, IL. My college best friend, Anne, came all the way from Lombard, IL. I was sad that I only snagged a few moments with her as the press of people kept coming. Both Bryce's and Sean's friends came. Trevor had probably 7 or 8 friends from middle and high school years who came. A few of the girls in that group were kind enough to come express condolences. 

Trevor's 2nd grade teacher came up to tell me how sad she was because he had shown such great potential. Many individuals came from Pittsboro Baptist Church. Here are some images of family members who came:

I was blown away by Trevor's halfway house leader, Damien, who took an Uber all the way from Indianapolis to our little rural enclave. He had only known Trevor for less than two weeks (and knowing Trevor, he probably hadn't interacted much). We gave Damien a ride to the burial and learned that he, too, (like my husband) is from Champaign-Urbana.

Thanks to the funeral director's wife, you can view a video of the funeral here. After the condensed slideshow and a welcome, John's sister Martha read John's comments and shared some of her own memories of Trevor. I wasn't sure I'd make it through mine, but the humorous bits helped me stay composed.

The burial was a brief affair (good, since it was 95 degrees out) with prayer and committal. 

Then, Pittsboro Baptist Church provided a marvelous meal for family and friends. After the meal, my sister and brother-in-law treated many family members and Damien to ice cream at the local Dairy Bar. 

We got Damien into an Uber back to the halfway house and many descended back into our home for further fellowship. I relished time with Trevor's cousins. Now, the grief is truly descending and intensifying. 

Some may question my son's walk with God, because he used drugs. One even shared a prayer, "What joy it will be IF we get to heaven and discover Trevor is there.... We pray that Trevor in some way... [had] things straight with You [God] before this terrible occasion." I know my son's spiritual foundation was not built on what he did, but on what Christ did for him. I liken it to my mother's Alzheimer's. She raged and cursed. That was not my mother; it was her diseased brain. Drugs had altered Trevor's brain, rewiring to tell him drugs were his best solution to his pain. He responded physiologically, not spiritually. 

Every day, I wake with the realization that my son is no longer with us here on earth. I take comfort, because of his trust in Christ's atoning act on the cross, and believe we will be reunited one day in Heaven. Others may scoff and weep for his lost soul; I claim the atoning cross of Christ and His promise of eternal life. If you have not trusted in Christ, consider the gospel message (proclaimed in Trevor's funeral) and accept the free gift of eternal life. May Trevor, in death, reach more than we had hoped and prayed in life.

Losing Our Precious Son

Parenting a wayward child is an exhausting and distressing role. We have gone back and forth trying to determine what is the best way to respond and help our addicted son, Trevor. I will admit, we have not always been in agreement. Much of this stems from my husband's personal experience with an addicted sibling who took his life. I think he was desperate to come to a different conclusion with his son.

From day one, Trevor was very much like his Uncle Rob. He did things with vehemence. Most recently, his driven, give-it-all mentality zeroed in on his bodybuilding. Here is a photo of him flexing:

Unfortunately, he relapsed at the end of May. At 2 a.m., there was no way to take him to a treatment center, so we took him to the ER. They would only release him into a residential treatment center (good for them!) At first, still under the influence of the drugs, he refused to stay for the 28-day treatment. He wanted to leave after the initial 7-day detox period. My husband wanted to let him come back home. In my opinion, that would only enable him to go back to using (our home is where this all began). I began to pray importunately for God to change their minds. Praise God! My husband told him he couldn't come home and Trevor decided he would stick out the program.

Of course, he had to detox from everything (including the Retitrutide weight loss drugs he was injecting and the steroids he was taking to enhance his bodybuilding). He said they had snacks available everywhere and he had to get some dopamine somehow, so he ate himself into a 60-pound weight gain. The relapse was a crushing blow! The loss of his intentions to participate in a bodybuilding competition in August was a devastating blow! From there, things continued to spiral.

He moved from the treatment center into a halfway house in Indianapolis. We knew this wasn't the best plan (after all, he knew where to access drugs in Indy), but he wasn't moving home, either. He was living in Indy, working at a Steak 'n Shake in Brownsburg, and visiting his girlfriend in Kirklin. Many miles driven at a time when gas prices are high. He couldn't even break even.

Then came some relationship difficulties. I think his girlfriend had made it very clear to him that she was clean and she would not remain with someone who uses. The friction and pain escalated. He responded in very unhealthy ways. When he posted something on Instagram saying, "Hope you all enjoyed the sh!t show," we were terrified he intended to find drugs.

Then, on July 3rd, he was coming to our home to pick up some food. He said he was crying and couldn't see clearly. He plowed into the front end of another vehicle that had turned into a subdivision just in front of him. His car was totaled and he knew we had vowed not to replace it (we'd already helped him purchase 3 vehicles). I'm sure his mind was reeling. No car. No way to get from Indy to his job or to visit his girlfriend. Not to mention, the possibility that the other driver might sue him for his fault in the accident. He was suicidal. He did not want to live. I took him in my arms and he just sobbed. We prayed with him. He agreed to go to a psych hospital as soon as his girlfriend could take him after she finished work. While waiting, he called and learned the commitment time was 7-14 days. He decided he didn't want to lose his bed, his job, or his upcoming court date, so he found an outpatient psych therapy that he could do in the halfway house from his phone.

On July 4th, he posted photos of himself at a party holding a beer can. His younger brother tried to tell him these decisions were unwise. On July 5th, I drove to his halfway house to take him to work. I bought him a pizza because his house meeting had gone long and he'd had no dinner. That's the last time I saw my beloved boy.

On July 6th, he took an Uber to work. While at work, he kept going to the bathroom. Finally, he went to the bathroom and did not come out. A coworker knew Sean's phone number because Sean used to work there. She called to tell him there was an incident with Trevor and they needed a family member there immediately. After my husband headed to the restaurant, the coworker called back. Sean said he knew it was bad when she couldn't talk. He then came in to gently wake me and share that "there was an incident at the Steak 'n Shake, and he's gone." I shot up. My initial thought was I wanted to see him and hold him one more time. I didn't think I could drive, so Sean drove me over. They would not let me near his body. We were there until midnight speaking with detectives, officers, and the coroner.

This week has been a whirlwind of planning and details. It feels like every minute I have something else to think about or address. I'm holding together fine (probably helped by the antidepressant medication I'm on), but my husband is grieving intensely. I'm glad Trevor is no longer in the intense emotional pain he was carrying. I'm glad he no longer has to struggle and fight this demon.

If you want to view his obituary, a photo slideshow, and a remembrance journal, you can follow this link. We also set up a Trevor Hill Addiction Memorial Fund. Now begins the dreadful process of learning to live without him. After picking our oldest son, Bryce, up from the airport, we stopped to get Chinese carry-out. As I went in to pick up the food, I realized we will never be able to eat inside that restaurant again. Trevor loved to eat there and ate with gusto. Then, on Thursday, I finally managed to get in a walk. I used to always spend most of my walks praying about Trevor. That was a crushing moment.

Please pray for our family as we walk this difficult road. Even though I had irrationally wanted to see him on the night of his death, I know that the most difficult moment will be when we come for the visitation and see him laid out, a shell of the person he once was, devoid of his spark. I have asked to speak a few words. I am praying I am not incapacitated with grief. Pray we will hold up as they lower his body into the ground, in a finality that cannot be erased. We are heart-sick and deeply saddened by the loss of our precious son.

Mid-month Mention: Prayer is the Best Support

I need to compose a mid-month mention post full of helpful and uplifting links. At this point, I cannot do so. I am still feeling numb from a hellish week we endured. Much of it, I cannot share. I will share what I can.

At 5:30 a.m., on the last Wednesday in May, I was downstairs having my devotions. After a large thwump, the power went out. I tried to fumble my way upstairs without spilling my coffee. I crept toward the bathroom (where I keep the candles), tripping over Toby (ugh!). Unfortunately, candles themselves are of no use if you can't find matches or a lighter. I also could not, for the life of me, find the flashlight on my phone (I never use it). Our large flashlight had dead batteries. Great!

Finally, John woke and immediately called the power company. All was still black outside so no indication of what we were dealing with. The sun rose, revealing the true scenario. Another limb had fallen from a tree out back. It took out the entire pole and unit in the back yard. The power company arrived to deal with the situation. My husband hooked a generator up to the kitchen refridgerator.

We waited and waited. Trucks filled the driveway, blocking the garage so we could not take our other cold food elsewhere to store. Here are some photos I snagged of the damage - again, I apologize as photography is not my strong suit (is anything?):

I sent out a prayer request to my family, acknowledging my gratitude that it wasn't worse because at least the limb did not, once again, take out portions of the roof like last May. In response, I received messages that sounded like, "Wendy is so put-upon, Lord; help her with yet another complication to her life." Or, advice as to what we should do: "Start cooking [um, no power!] or grilling as much as you can [much of the time it was pouring rain]."

Then, there was the biggest kicker: "Perhaps you should consider having a tree-trimming company come out to assess the property, if you can afford it." Hmm. If only we had thought of that. Wait, we did, long before this! We had tree-trimmers come. They cut down one perilous tree, but explained they cannot go near limbs near power lines. That is the jurisdiction of the power company. We had the power company come out and assess. They claimed there were troublesome areas, but they'd have to get to it later. Unfortunately for us, later was not soon enough. A new pole had to be put in and the power was not restored for 7-1/2 hours (we're grateful for their quick work and know it could have been out for longer than that). We lost some food from the garage fridge, which had climbed to 52 degrees.

Needless to say, when even greater difficulties descended at the end of the week, I did not feel warm fuzzies about sharing. Instead, I fasted and prayed on my own. I did not reach out with prayer requests to family members full of advice. We continue to cling to God, the only One who can do the impossible. In these other dire situations, we need miracles! [Praise God, we saw dynamic answers to two specific importunate prayers!] 

We continue to beg God to change hearts and transform lives. How I pray God will redeem the years the locusts are eating! Please, if you are a praying person, lift our family up in prayer. And if someone asks you for prayer, think twice before launching into advice 😉, just 🙏! After all, it's the BEST thing you can do!

Added 6/11/26: We woke to another tree down. It broke at the trunk. Ridiculous! Again, we are so grateful it did not damage the house. Nobody has come out yet to chop down and take away the other limb, so now that job is just bigger. You can see the ruts in the grass from where they took equipment back to extract the old power line and pole. That's 3 downed trees in a little over a year. Add in the limb that took out the garden fence while we were away at Bryce's wedding in September 2024, and it makes 4. Sheesh!

 

Book Review: The Anxious Generation

A friend recommended The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. It is quite popular, at #17 on Amazon charts. If only this important book had come out when I was still stumbling through new parenting territory with my sons. "Hindsight is 20/20," as they say. If only we knew then, what we know now. In ignorance, we launched into a technological world with ramifications we couldn't possibly foresee. This is a sobering look at why our young people are riddled with anxiety. Some of the author's recommendations are, indeed, being fleshed out in our society. Schools are trying to become phone-free zones. Sadly, the changes will not come swiftly enough and my own children are saddled with my unintentional mistakes.

Jonathan Haidt intended to write a book on how social media disrupts society. After finishing the first chapter, he realized the thrust of the book needed to focus on how childhood has been disrupted by a phone-based existence. While I don't agree with this author's atheistic worldview, his arguments ring true. It is horrifying. Toward the end of the book, he writes a paragraph that helped me understand why we failed to see the dangers. He writes:

"The diffusion of digital technology into children's lives has been like smoke pouring into our homes. We all see that something strange is happening, but we don't understand it. We fear that the smoke is having bad effects on our children, but when we look around, nobody is doing much about it."

This is true. I looked to those around me when I considered what to allow or disallow in my home. I gave in to the pressure of, "Every other kid has a phone, Mom." If I had it to do over, with the wisdom from this book, I would have emphasized real-world experiences and relationships, limited freedom on their phones, and talked them through the new conundrums they faced with technology.

I loved the summaries at the end of each chapter. They made it easier to digest and retain the mass of information gleaned in these pages. The key problem for children born after 1995 (as all my sons were) is that they were overprotected in the real world and underprotected in the virtual world. Haidt identifies four harms of phone-based childhood: sleep deprivation, social deprivation, attention fragmentation, and addiction.

I recently saw news of new "tin-can" phones that parents are giving their children. Other parents are giving their kids landlines. These phones are stripped of the dangerous social media exposure and instant information overload. Our children need physical play and social interaction to learn how to navigate relationships. The digital world has altered all of our relationships. Thus, the takeaway from this book extends beyond how the phone influenced the maturation of our children. It highlights how different our world is today from that in which we were raised. After reading this book, I'm not only regretting my past parenting mistakes, but I'm also wanting to join Carlos Whittaker and unplug more for myself. It is a difficult balance. Writers are encouraged to be available and involved online. Yet, there is a cost. Do I really want to pay that cost any more? This whole subject will fill my thoughts for many days to come.

Author Spotlight: Tami Winkelman

I knew from a very young age that I wanted to become a writer. My mother nurtured my love of story both by sharing great books and by her own storytelling (her Ronald Gibberhoffer tales were made up off the cuff while waiting for my dad to finish shopping in Radio Shack). I know she attended a writer's conference at Wheaton and decided she wanted one of her children to attend that college. Although I won a short story competition in elementary school and worked steadily on little tales, I lacked self-confidence. Thus, I chose a safe dual major at Wheaton College of English and Secondary Education. Instead of writing great literature, I hoped to teach others to love books as my mother had taught me.

Despite years of writing practice, it wasn't until the Lord gave me prayer poems about our journey with a prodigal child that I chose to publish a book. It felt too important to sit in a file. I'm no polished poet. And, indeed, my journey at the time of writing was only just begun. I don't have a large platform, nor do I covet speaking engagements. My son is still young and I try not to draw attention to his story. Thus, I struggle to market my book. 

Upon publication, I sought ministries focused on my intended audience. However, that is difficult, too. Most leaders have their own books to market and push. Indeed, one agent I pursued prior to publishing rejected my proposal suggesting to me that the market was glutted with prodigal parenting books. Yet, a few months later, her own prodigal parenting book came out. This stung!

I was pleasantly surprised when I found Tami Winkelman's ministry called Prayer for Prodigals. Over time, she has been such an encouragement to me and has become a true friend. Thus, I wish to highlight Tami and her books at this time. Her ministry is unique. Many ministries like this try to give an outlet for the anguish this path invokes. While there is a place for that, Tami's ministry is distinctive in its very positive and uplifting tone. Prayer for Prodigals sends out weekly updates of prodigals who are making strides. Tami calls these answers to prayer "raindrops,"  or "deluges." When the path threatens to drag you down, it is encouraging to receive Tami's newsletters with lists of God's movement in the lives of other prodigals. She nurtures hope in hearts with desperate needs.

Tami Winkelman is not only the founder of Prayer for Prodigals, but also the author of three books. Her first book, in 2019, was Fighting for Your Prodigal Through Prayer: Promises, Praises, and Prayers. I love the faint but powerful image of hands joined together on the cover of this book! In 2022, she published her second book, Encouragement in the Waiting (For Your Prodigal to Return to God). Her third book, published in 2024, was Trust God As: His Names and Attributes for Your Journey With a Prodigal. Her books offer light from God's Word to illuminate dark paths. If you are parenting a wayward child and need encouragement in the journey, I hope this interview will alert you to new avenues of encouragment and inspiration. Tami's books and newsletters have lifted me up and I hope they'll lift the spirits of others, as well. 

Q1: Some writers, like me, sense from childhood a deep yearning to write. I think others are given a story and a message from the Lord that drives them to write. What was your journey to the written page? Was it innate or were you led to it? Or perhaps a bit of both.

Tami: Despite having written a poem deemed a "masterpiece" by a schoolteacher, and a paper a university professor kept as an example to subsequent students, I never considered writing a book, much less three. My books grew from the Prayer for Prodigals ministry, from the words given to me by the Lord to minister to others who love a prodigal.

Q2: Yes, I've felt your words were from the Lord to soothe my soul. You clearly write from the heart to parents of prodigals. As I have processed my family's journey down a child's road of rebellion, I've struggled to stave off the darkness. There are three things that I, personally, do to combat this. I wondered if you'd discuss your experience with these weapons. First of all, I absolutely must write in my daily journaling pages. This is a way for me to flush some of the frustrations out, to kind of clean pipes that easily get backed up with the debris of addiction and rebellion. It helps me clarify my thinking and sort my emotions. Do you have any daily (or other) practices of writing you pursue? If so, is there a set time of day you do this or is it more a spontaneous reaction to the difficulties as they arise?

Tami: It is obvious to me that your book, Watching the Wayward: Psalms for Parents of Prodigals, is written from a mother's heart that has experienced this pain, a pain like no other. I don't journal daily, and I wouldn't say that my writing helps sort through specific situations in my own life (I usually go to prayer, praise, worship, thanksgiving, or quoting promises aloud to help sort through my thoughts) but I keep several different journals. I've just never thought of them as therapeutic.

Writing inspirations the Lord gives during prayer and/or Bible reading, organizing the thoughts, searching through Scripture for commonality, and then sharing through the ministry helps me remember and apply the things I've learned. I find writing those blog posts, social media posts, and email prayer starters builds my faith and increases my awareness of God's hand in my life and the lives of those I love enough to cover in prayer. Those reminders are handy when times are hard.

As for the set time, I try to keep my calendar clear for mornings so I can write after my time in the presence of the Lord, while both my mind and body are fresh. I do write often later in the day, after the 2:30 slump that happens most days, but find it much easier to write and edit in the mornings.

I would like to add that the things the Lord gives me, sometimes through things that come across my desk several times from different sources, usually strike a chord with those who follow the ministry, as if the Lord knew and was preparing what we would need! (Of course, He knew! He is amazing like that!)

Q3: Yes, He knows exactly what we need! The second thing I do is seek wisdom from the Lord through His Word. One thing I appreciate in your writing and your books is your heavy emphasis on the Bible. Have you always been a serious student of the Bible or did circumstances in life create a greater hunger for and reliance on God's Word? 

Tami: Thank you, Wendy, for the kind words about my writing. Without Scripture, I wouldn't have a solid foundation for any ideas, much less for writing. I am convinced the Bible is the truth, which is by definition unchanging, making it a rock on which I can stand.

I do think my hunger for God's Word came from both my upbringing and circumstances. My parents were saved when I was 8-years-old, and Daddy later became a pastor, so I call myself raised in a pastor's home, and 2 of my grandparents were called and licensed ministers. I remember marking verses during sermons when I was quite young. I was also challenged to memorize Scripture as well as the books of the Bible, and for that I'm thankful. I've sat under some amazing Bible teachers, professors, and pastors, people who challenged me and awakened questions which led to more and deeper study. I've read the Bible more times than I can count, but my daily ministry for those who pray for prodigals has taken me to more in-depth Bible study than anything else. When the Lord brings something to my attention or asks me to write a book, it makes me hunger for answers and causes me to seek answers in prayer more often.

Q4: I'm always curious how people go about securing wisdom from the Bible. Do you go to the Bible and happen upon passages that speak directly to your circumstances? This happens to me. For example, this week I've been hammered with the story of the Samaritan woman at the well (on 5 different occasions, I've been exposed to this passage with teaching). I believe God is shouting, "In your daily battles, make use of the living water I've provided!" and asking, "Are you spreading good news?" On other occasions, I go to the Word with a need and seek (through concordances and searches) what God's Word has to say about some word or topic. Is this true for you? Can you give examples of how and when God has led through His Word in your journey?

Tami: I love that the Lord brought the story of the Samaritan woman to you five different ways and the direction you received from it. We are similar in how we go about finding answers in the Bible. First, by reading my Bible every day, I open myself up to happening upon passages that speak directly to my circumstances. Many times, I then start digging for supporting passages. While in prayer, I've been reminded of memorized verses or phrases in prayer and urged to search for deeper meaning or better understanding. In sermons, a verse will challenge me and lead me to deeper study. All of this contributes to notes and reminders on little pieces of paper, in my phone and email until I can start a computer document. I place other verses as I come across them until I am ready to study it out. Strong's Concordance is a faithful friend, as are cross references in Bibles and Bible apps.

Once, while intending to read Psalm 150, the first verse stopped me because I'd never researched "firmament." I turned to my trusted Strong's Concordance and found one meaning is "expanse." Living in Huntsville, Alabama, with NASA and The Space and Rocket Center, the discussion of the reality of the expanse of space is more prevalent than anywhere else I've ever lived. The verses that say God reveals Himself to man through His creation came to mind (Psalm 19:1, 97:6; Romans 1:20), and the infinity of God came to life for me! God's superiority in power, might, authority, and sufficiency permeated my faith. Nothing is a true contest to God! He outranks everything, including the enemy of our souls.

Q5: Though I'm calling prayer the third thing, each is equally important, so I'm not slating them in order of importance. Indeed, this is often the very first thing I do when facing another obstacle in my journey with a prodigal son. When I first realized my son was overdosing, I dropped to my knees and cried out to the Lord to save him. Praise God, He heard and intervened! Could you share your thoughts on this weapon of prayer?

Tami: There's so much, but I'll dive in. I am so thankful the Lord heard and intervened for your son! I, too, believe that prayer is another important part of all of this, and it is difficult for me to place the parts in order of importance. That being said, prayer is a mighty weapon necessary in this fight for the salvation of prodigals. I don't know why God ordained prayer to affect His will on earth, but in His infinite sovereignty and wisdom He did. And what a privilege it is! To boldy go into the throne room of the one and only true God, the creator of all things, is a privilege we don't deserve, yet He promises to hear every prayer prayed by His righteous children (Proverbs 15:29; James 5:16; 1 Peter 3:12). He encourages us to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. What matters to us and affects us, matters to Him (1 Peter 5:7). 

I've asked some pretty big things of Him and witnessed His answers to some of them already, but He tells us in Ephesians 3:20 that we can't ask for or even think of things as great as He can and will do! Also, Revelation 5:8 tells us the prayers stay before His throne! Nothing else changes things like prayer does. Praise and thanksgiving change the atmosphere, fasting changes our awareness of and sensitivity to God, but prayer changes lives, things, outcomes, situations, and circumstances. Miracles happen, hearts and bodies are healed, minds and hearts are changed, faith increases, and eternities are changed through prayer, not to mention closeness with God.

Q6: I love your observation that fasting changes our awareness of and sensitivity to God. My blog readers know I spent a fair amount of time fasting and praying for my prodigal last year. At the end of the year, this became a struggle. It felt like the more I mourned and cried out for His intervention, the darker my darkness felt and the more overwhelming it all seemed. It has been a while since I read your Encouragement in the Waiting book, but I'm wishing I had used it as a guide to direct me to more positive sentiments in that process. Have you ever been overwhelmed by the intensity of a problem? What led/leads you to a more positive place?

Tami: Even though the Lord has saved many of my family members, there are still unsaved others, beloved prodigals. At times the weight of the grief of lost time, fear of what might come next, and heaviness of the burden overwhelms me and consumes my thoughts and life, including my health. Several things led me to a more positive place at different times and situations.

Remembering that the Lord's yoke is easy and light, and He is in the yoke with me, reminds me that the bulk of the burden isn't mine. It's His and He is more suited to handle it. In fact, I can do nothing to fix situations other than call on God and follow His lead in prayer, fasting, Bible reading, and obedience. There are times I take the yoke back up again, but getting back to a better place gets easier with practice. It is comforting to know He can and will handle things, that He alone is the God of salvation and The LORD our healer, and I don't have to save prodigals or heal people I love.

However, recently I was faced with the mortality of my Daddy. He became gravely ill and we almost lost him two or three times. I mourned. Hard. When a wave would hit me, I would go to prayer, or put on praise and worship music and let it remind me of who God is and of His love. A few other times, I read the promises only in Fighting for Your Prodigal Through Prayer. One day, the Lord gave me a bunch of promises from His Word; they just flowed, and I noted them. After that, for days and days, promises kept coming, and they are still coming from time to time. I am sharing them in the ministry as Reminder Verses on social media. They ministered to me, and still do, so I revisit them. Bit by bit, the Lord brought me out. Daddy is now getting stronger, and for that we are very grateful!

As for the prodigals I love, there have been heavy showers of raindrops, and I am just waiting for the deluges!

In His Word, God has already given us the way back to peace: keep our minds on Him (Isaiah 26:3), and "in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let [our] requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6 NKJV). God didn't leave us without weapons. Prayer, thanksgiving, reading His Word, praise, worship, and fasting are mighty weapons when the battle is hot and the burden is overwhelming.

You mentioned Encouragement in the Waiting, and I have a funny story about a difficult time in my life. Once, I was telling a friend about a problem, and she told me she knew someone who wrote a book about encouragment. She meant me. A bit later, Daddy told me the same thing. I got a chuckle out of it, but I read it, and it truly helped me.

Q7: I realize now it would have been better to begin each of my prayer sessions (while fasting) with song and specific promises from the Bible. This is exactly what you provide in your book, Trust God As, because you explore the attributes of God. What did your research for that book look like? Moreover, what did you experience personally while researching those attributes?

Tami: Wendy, I, too, often start my prayer time with singing and/or playing the piano. That book really developed as a personal challenge while praying with Moms in Touch, which is now Moms in Prayer International. Praying with them exposed me to the names of God, which led me to write a roughly-put-together "book" about the names of God. It was never published, but it eventually served as a chunk of the research and collection of Scripture passages I needed to write my third book, Trust God As: His Names and Attributes for Your Journey With a Prodigal.

During the writing process, I learned about God. I learned more about who He is and is not and what He will and will not do. I learned the depth of His love for me and His devotion to prodigals. I understand more about His power, might, wisdom, knowledge, sufficiency, authority, and infinity because of the studying necessary for finishing that book. I also understand that because He is infinite, there are simply things I do not have enough time left in my earthly life to study and understand Him completely, which makes me fear and reverence Him more.

Q8: Oh, how I wish I could play the piano! I listed the three things that help me in my journey. Do you have any others you have relied upon?

Tami: Two things that go hand-in-hand to change the atmosphere quickly are praise and worship.

Q9:  What led to the founding of your Prayer for Prodigals ministry? What are some comments you've received from those blessed by this ministry? Also, how can my readers give to or pray for your ministry?

Tami: The Prayer for Prodigals ministry grew organically. My husband and I moved back to Huntsville, and a friend invited us to visit her church. When I asked if they had a group who prayed for prodigals, she told me they did not. Without my knowing, she asked her pastor if we could start a group and he agreed. We met on a Monday night and had 30 in attendance. Because I prayed with Moms in Touch, I modified their prayer prompts for our prayer time to include a Scriptural promise, a name of attribute of God for praise, and a prayer based on a verse of Scripture. I printed one for each person.

We continued to meet and I continued to print the prayer starters. One week, someone couldn't attend but wanted the prayer starter, so I sent it via email. That started the weekly email prayer starters that now include raindrops (praise for answered prayers in prodigals' lives) and deluges (praise for the salvation of a prodigal). Hundreds of people receive them weekly.

Someone suggested the prayer starters were so good I should save them. So I did. Later, someone suggested I should put them in a book, and Fighting for Your Prodigal Through Prayer was born. The miracle of that book's publication is a story in and of itself, some of which is shared below.

The email list grew. It became obvious rather quickly that people who loved and prayed for prodigals needed support. I had no idea what I was doing, but my daughter followed several ministries and she suggested I needed a website. I had no clue about it, so she set it up for me, and the blog and the rest of the website came into being.

She also suggested the social media pages and helped me set those up. Later, Darlene Vice, who helps with the ministry and has a women's ministry page asked if I would do a weekly live prayer on her page, and the weekly live prayers began. They are now posted on her ministry page as well as the Prayer for Prodigals page, and she prays live when I can't. All along the way, God has put people in my path to help when He was ready for the next step.

As for comments, I received one just today from a follower of the ministry in reply to the email prayer starter I sent: "Thank you, Sister Tami, for these updates. They really keep me encouraged as I pray for others." A mom of an addicted prodigal daughter reached out for prayer when her daughter was on her death bed and she was saved. I later received this comment, "[Y]ou will always have a special place in my heart!" She reached out and we prayed. The comments seem written to me, but God is the one doing the work. I encourage. I pray. I have others pray. I simply try to obey what God wants me to do. The pray-ers do the planting, and we water by praying in agreement with them, but it is God who saves. The glory and the thanks belong to Him!

As for giving to the ministry, the story of my going into the ministry full-time is another story revealing God's hand in all of this. I was working at our church and trying to write Fighting for Your Prodigal Through Prayer. By the time I would get home, I would be emotionally and mentally spent. About the second year of working on the manuscript, my husband was approached to work for another company. They asked his salary requirements. He took his then salary plus my salary, added ten percent, and gave  that figure to the new company. Without hesitation, they accepted his offer and he told me to quit my job and finish the book. That is when the ministry went full-time. Even then, God did it. He has worked things out all along the way. Because of that I've never asked for donations, and no one has ever offered until you, so thank you for asking. God is still providing.

I will, however, be happy for others to pray for the ministry. My prayer points are that prodigals will be saved, that I will follow God's will for the ministry always, that the people who need to be connected will be connected, that the books and other resources will get into the hands of people who need them, and that, through the ministry, people who are in journeys with prodigals will be encouraged in their prayers, their lives, and their own ministries and callings, and be able to have rest, peace, and joy despite what they see in front of them.

Q10. Your reliance on God sounds very much like the ministry structure used by George Muller, as mentioned in my last book review. When we depend wholly on Him, He provides in mighty ways! Finally, are you thinking of or working on another book? Do you see yourself primarily as a nonfiction writer, or would you ever consider working on a novel?

Tami: I just this week asked God if an idea He gave me was to be in a book, because it is extensive, and I felt the answer was "No," that I am to share it through social media part by part, at least for now. There may be a testimony book at some time in the future, but right now, I am just working to keep up with all God pours into me to be shared through the ministry.

As for fiction, I simply do not have it in me. I should say I do not have it in me right now. Darlene Vice, who prays in my place on Facebook Live, writes fiction and I edit for her. I am always in awe of how the story evolves and resolves. The process is amazing and elusive to me. If God gives it to me, though, I hope I will say yes anyway and let Him guide me through the process, just like He has through all of this and still is. He is so faithful. He has been with me every step of the way, He still is, and I know He will be.

In conclusion, writing and the writing process cause me to internalize the Word of God, to learn more about Him, and put the truths found in the Bible within reach when I need them at a moment's notice. There is nothing like the process to teach me and causes what I learn to stick. Writing is a distinct and powerful part of my life and my walk with the Lord.

I want to thank Tami for taking time out of her busy schedule to field these questions. Her answers are so very thoughtful and thought-provoking. What a joy to have fellow writers to bounce ideas off of and to encourage along the way! What a blessing her support is in my ongoing journey with my prodigal son! May God bless Tami and her ministry. May He get her books into hands that desperately need them. 

Book Review: The Atlas of Untold Stories

Sara Brunsvold was a new-to-me author when I happened upon her author talk at a local church. Her books are easy to devour. The pacing is great, and the characters are realistic and relatable. My favorite book is still The Divine Proverb of Streusel (because I relate to so many aspects of the story), but I enjoyed this third novel, The Atlas of Untold Stories. Each Brunsvold book is full of Midwestern charm!

What could be better than a road trip across the Midwest to explore places associated with Midwestern writers? When I was in college, I created a London-walking-tour for future Wheaton-in-England participants. It traced various sites in London associated with Charles Dickens, my then-favorite writer. I don't know if the professor I created it for ever used the materials, but it was great fun creating that guide. Sara Brunsvold peoples her Midwest road trip with a mother and two daughters, each bearing a secret kept from the others. They explore sites associated with writers like Ernest Hemingway, Langston Hughes, Frank Baum, Joan Lowery Nixon, Willa Cather, and Mark Twain (among others). With my pre-order, I secured a complimentary PDF of a "Bookish Road Trip Through America's Heartland." Although I have no desire to visit every site mentioned, I might enjoy a road trip to a few of them.

Chloe Vance has a secret she needs to share with her mother, Edie. She knows Edie will not appreciate her plans to leave for a missionary teaching stint in Prague for two years. When she cannot get the words out, she invites Edie on a 9-day road trip to visit literary sites. Edie, unsure about the trip, invites her other daughter, Lauren, to join them. As the three spend days cramped together in Chloe's yellow hot-box car, personalities present and conflict. Life is easier in books. But books also open a window of understanding for the conflicts we face.

This is a quick read. It holds equal parts character development and touring information. The reader learns about the authors, but also about the realistic conflicts that drive each woman. Family is so important. While relationships can be fraught with disappointment, they also can soothe and heal deep wounds. This is yet another Brunsvold book that dives into relational friction and the powerful healing touch of faith. 

I wish I had headed out for extensive travel (perhaps for my anniversary). Brunsvold offered a contest for people who took a small paper copy of the yellow car along on trips. Genius! Brunsvold shared on Facebook that the winner took Flat Goldie all the way to New Zealand. What a great marketing idea!

Jumping Off Into a New Future

Our family is jumping off into a new future. In many ways we are unprepared. While eager to see how the changes play out in our lives, there's an abiding hesitancy that is hard to push down. Change is uncomfortable, unwieldy. To a certain extent, none of us wanted to move into the new, the untried. Yet, I know it will be good for each of us in the end. For now, we feel discombobulated!

Last week, John and I became empty nesters. We loaded the car full to the brim with belongings and moved our youngest, Sean, into a tiny Purdue University dorm room. My Facebook feed, as usual, knew exactly what was going on, and inundated me with images of magazine-worthy dorm rooms, sentimental articles, and lists of what to bring. As if the emotions weren't already tender, I had to wade through the detritus of on-line advice and eloquent parental good-byes (one woman lined a whole hallway with her son's childhood toys saying good-bye).

When we took Bryce to Purdue, he ushered us out of the room as soon as the last item hit the floor. Perhaps it was because we had his 8 and 10-year-old brothers in tow. That transition was painless. Bryce was eager to go. We still had responsibilities at home. Thankfully, Purdue isn't far away (as my sister pointed out, since she was a 20-hour drive away from her college kids). Plus, Bryce had a girlfriend back home, so I drove to Purdue way too often to bring him home for weekend visits.

This time is different. Sean is our last to leave. I have always called him "my sweetness and light." Sure, he was busy with friends, school, activities, and work during his final year at home, but he moved in and out of our lives daily. Now, the house is far too quiet. My role is done. My identity is blurred.

I'd love to think this might jump-start me back into writing consistently. Somehow, I doubt it will. Neither noise nor time keeps me from the writing. I'd love to find a new activity. In a Facebook group, a woman asked for short story suggestions as she had just taken up a post leading a book club in an assisted living facility. Now that sounds perfect!

Perhaps I need to get a job. We will have expenses we were not anticipating and there's the Purdue bill, as well. Somehow, I doubt anyone will hire someone who has been out of the workforce for 18 years. My gig was good, even if it was unpaid, often had lousy hours, and sometimes felt thankless.

Of course, there's a freedom now, too. The first night, John and I window-shopped at a flea market. I've been wanting a vintage sewing box to store my now-minimized sewing supplies. Then, we popped into a bakery, hoping for a strawberry pie. Alas, they only had strawberry-rhubarb (too tart for me). Finally, we ate out for dinner. It was better than going home to the now-quiet-house.

We can make more effort to get away for a weekend. Perhaps we'll take that trip to Mackinac Island. Even if it is just away to our old standbys (Nashville, IN; Rockville, IN for the Covered Bridge Festival; or even closer towns), it will be good to travel and spend time in the couple identity we have reclaimed. I have a few friends I've wanted to visit or invite. The possibilities are endless, really. I should cling to that when loneliness and quiet threaten to overwhelm.

So far, all of this is focused on Sean, John, and me. But, Trevor is at his own crossroads. I try not to divulge much because his story is his own and sometimes isn't as tidy as people like to hear (or I like to tell). We continue to pray fervently for God to use him in a mighty way. At the end of July, we moved Trevor into a halfway house in Lafayette, so our younger two are living in sister cities. 

He has been on a long and challenging road this past year (one we have traveled both from a distance and alongside). Not a single day is assured. He told us once that he has skirted death at least ten different times. We try hard to fight the urge to protect him from his testimony. God has a plan and He is the only One capable of getting Trevor where he needs to go. God's plans are always for our good and His glory.

So, we are each heading off in new directions. We step into the unknown timidly, but with the assurance that God walks with us. An empty nest. A college education. A chance to transition into a life of sobriety, maturity, and purpose. 

My Wheaton College class selected a verse of scripture that I still know and embrace. I may be using it out of context, but I cling to this promise nonetheless:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 - NIV)

Book Review: Saving the Saved - Highly Recommend

I grew up in The Salvation Army. They believe a child of God, a Christian, can lose their salvation. One of the primary dangers in this view is an inflated sense of self-preservation. It leads to believing one has the power to negate what God has done on your behalf ("void His promise") because your actions supersede God's act of forgiveness that He has declared as FINISHED. Contrary to what they think, we are not the lynch pin holding our security in place! Praise God, He paid the debt I could not pay. He holds me, by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, a seal of promise, assuring my eternal ("eternal," not "temporary," not "probationary") life! He is the author/sustainer/perfecter of our faith.

While Salvationists would agree that we cannot DO anything to gain our salvation, they say we must DO something to keep our salvation. They assert we can "choose to come out from under that seal." In that case, what's the point of a seal? Living with constant fear one has not repented from each infraction (and, yes, we continue to struggle with SIN) leads to a performance-driven faith. I now believe that is an error, and a grievous one. It makes me think of a phrase I once heard stating there are only two religious camps: DO and DONE. I rest in what He has done, not what I do.

Salvation is a gift, an act of grace, "Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:9) First, He justifies; then, He sanctifies. On the cross, Christ paid the penalty for our sin. Once we are His child, sealed with the Holy Spirit, that Spirit helps us fight against the ongoing presence of sin we will battle until death. We are not out from under the consequence of sin, but we are FREE from the condemnation of sin. Again, I trust in Christ's act, not my actions, for my heart is desperately wicked and the battle against sin continues (Romans 7:14-25).

We are neither co-saviors, nor co-judges. God will decide each individual's spiritual destiny. Indeed, it is not our place to speculate. (We cannot determine someone in scripture ended up in hell because they did not repent of their waywardness.) Praise God, it is not our call. Yet everyone will answer for where they place their faith. Are you trusting in your sufficiency (your ability to remain obedient) or in a deep and abiding trust in Christ's sufficiency (His obedience in taking your sin penalty on the cross)? Are you wearing His robes of righteousness or your own?

I face tension with family members who believe in the Army's 9th doctrine, that "continuance in the state of salvation DEPENDS upon continued, obedient faith in Christ." It rankles all the more because I have a wayward son. I have a child who, despite attesting dependence upon Christ for salvation, makes harmful choices that others perceive as unrepentant rebellion. Indeed, if they pronounce judgment on one in scripture who, despite writing books of the Bible, strayed, they believe my child is in danger of hellfire. Yes, it's personal! Yet, Paul's letter to the Corinthians reveals it is possible to follow Christ and still indulge in seasons of sin. Indeed, those willing to pronounce judgment on my son should examine their own sin indulgences.

Perhaps all of this led me to Bryan Loritts' book, Saving the Saved: How Jesus Saves Us from Try-Harder Christianity Into Performance-Free Love. Loritts is determined to teach the reader how to rest in God's performance-free love. He argues against spiritual meritocracy (using our performance to gain God's approval). I loved this comment, "If anything I ever do of eternal value is because of God's grace, and if anything I ever do that brings shame is covered by God's grace, where is the boasting... the shame?" He urges us to come to Him "with the outfit He supplies. Life in the kingdom means I come out of my old clothes of performance and receive the new ones of abiding in Christ."

I loved his comments on prayer. He likened it to a 3-year-old, with arms outstretched, asking her daddy to carry her. He argues for the humility required to pray fervently. "Every day I spend in prayerlessness is a day wasted in pride--a day in which I say to God, 'I got this.'" And we don't hold the results against God. "He's worthy to be praised when breast cancer is cured--and just as worthy when the disease takes a life. We don't follow God for outcomes or for the benefits package; we follow Him because we love Him."

His discussion on Matthew 11:30 ["my yoke is easy; my burden is light"] brings special encouragement to my weary soul. He explains that, in the Greek, these words mean "custom-made." A carpenter measured the yoke to fit a specific ox's neck. "As the Divine Carpenter, Jesus knows you inside and out.... He customizes the yokes and trials of our lives so there's nothing we go through that we cannot handle.... You and Jesus are yoked together. He's in this with you, and there's nothing... you can't handle... in God's amazing love."

As Loritts speaks of why our failure is never final, he focuses on Peter's denial and subsequent use for the kingdom. He talks about our need for fresh, daily grace, and how that should make us gracious with others. Here is where the message hit me between the eyes. Unforgiveness is an affront, a sign of hypocrisy. I have exhibited this very problem and must repent of it. Loritts writes, "The unforgiving 'Christian' puts on a display of arrogance, assuming in their unforgiveness that they are the only ones truly worthy of being forgiven, of receiving God's performance-free love." Oh, how I need repentance.

Our repentance is not, however, to GAIN his love, but is an expression in RESPONSE to his performance-free love. We must be careful not to confuse salvation with sanctification. First, we repent of our sin and seek His forgiveness and His atonement (eternally expunging our sin debt). Then, our further repentance is a process of sanctification. It expresses our desire to become more like Him out of gratitude for the reconciliation we had no hope of attaining on our own. 

Our salvation makes us a child of God. It is an act of adoption that renders us secure. I would never look at my child and say, "That's it! You've gone too far. I no longer love you or call you my son." He is and will always be my son and nothing he does will negate that status. The truly saved do not need to be saved again, and again, and again. Indeed, believing such renders Christ's atoning work as equivalent to the Old Testament covenant sacrifices. (Here it would be good to look at Hebrews 6:4-6 - do we crucify Christ over and over to reclaim our salvation?) No, the saved rest in God's performance-free love and will greet the bridegroom wearing His robes of righteousness, not their own (filthy rags).

Gaining a Daughter

Ever since May 2023, when our oldest son Bryce proposed to his girlfriend Elizabeth, we have been fixated on the final weekend in September 2024. The flurry of preparation was minimal for us (primarily, finding suitable mother-of-the-groom attire and losing weight before the event), but Elizabeth took on all the details with great care and calculation. She is a highly driven and organized person. I marvel at her skill for planning this elaborate event.

My anxiety level was intense. I worried about so many details. Would our prodigal be able to participate appropriately? (Due to recent events connected with his addiction, he did not attend.) Would I lose enough weight to be comfortable with the time-sealed photos of the event? (I lost 19 pounds between January and the wedding.) Could I find a dress comfortable enough for my dress-loathing personality? (Thanks to a kind Von Maur associate named Diedre, I found my very comfortable and flattering dress and knew it was "the dress.") Could I endure the dreaded mother-son dance, when all eyes would be on me and my lack of dancing skill would be evident? (My hairdresser suggested a strategy. I spent the whole time in riveted conversation with Bryce. It worked and eased my nerves.)

After years of cheap haircuts at Great Clips, I was determined to find a hairdresser I could afford and appreciate. Thankfully, I found that at a men's hair salon, of all places. I have been getting outstanding senior women's cuts from Amelia at Manscapes Salon. She gave me a sense of confidence I lacked and helped me settle on a style I was comfortable with and capable of maintaining. I tried to time the cut, but may have been off by a week (it looked best one week prior to the wedding, sob).

Formal events scare me. While I'm not a country bumpkin (despite living in a rural enclave), I'm not comfortable in high society. The wedding took place at the Hotel Crescent Court in Dallas, Texas. It was absolutely stunning and gorgeous. Elaborate glass sculptures hung from the ceiling. Large canvas art adorned the walls. I felt a bit like an imposter, an ugly duckling among swans, but was surprised by how much I enjoyed the proceedings.

We flew into Dallas on Thursday evening and, apart from our experience at a sketchy McDonalds nearby (sought for a close, quick, inexpensive meal), enjoyed our Home 2 Suites stay and breakfast. Friday morning, we took an Uber to the tux shop with luggage in tow (another ugly duckling among swans experience as we looked a bit homeless amid the grandeur of Culwell & Son). Next, we headed for Hotel Crescent Court. John waited for our room's availability and Sean and I attended groomsmen/bridesmaid luncheons. (My meal at Sixty Vines was so delicious that we ate there for lunch again on Saturday with my father.)

Now that my mother is deceased, my father is free to travel for weddings. He safely drove all the way from Florida to Texas for my nephew's wedding in July, so he felt confident in making the trek again for Bryce's wedding. This time around, however, he left on Wednesday 9/25, just a day ahead of the expected landfall for Hurricane Helene. I was nervous on his behalf, but he managed to get ahead of the storm. (Although, he did arrive later than I'd hoped and missed the initial moments of the rehearsal where we discussed his entrance, given his current use of a power wheelchair.)

After the rehearsal, we paused for photos (snapped by their outstanding professional photographer, Sami Kathryn Photography):

The rehearsal dinner took place at The Henry, a restaurant with a great patio view of the Dallas skyline. It was, perhaps, the best meal I've eaten in a very long time. The meal started with an appetizer of house made pretzel balls with fondue. This was followed by a Caesar salad. For the entree, I ordered the braised short rib with bourbon caramel, roasted mushroom, fourme d'ambert, and smashed potatoes. The meat was so tender it melted in my mouth. Just when I thought the meal couldn't get any better, they brought out the dessert: a chocolate fudge torte with peanut butter crunch, milk chocolate mousse, and candied peanut caramel. Knowing I needed to fit into my dress, I intended to only eat half, yet somehow bite after bite cleared the plate clean. If you're ever in Dallas, this dessert deserves a special trip!

Saturday's wedding was beautiful, memorable, and fun. Here's a family photo taken by the photographer:

Here are a few snapped with my camera:

The wedding was held in the courtyard with an expected crowd of around 100-125 people. I wanted Bryce and Elizabeth to be able to invite their Purdue and work friends. It was an adult only affair and there are 19 cousins/spouses on my side, several with small children. Thus, the only cousins invited were on my husband's side (4). Family members who were able to attend really had a great time! They enjoyed a delicious meal, wedding cake, and dancing. John and I sat watching most of the festivities and wondered how our youngest knew words to all the dance songs. He had a great time dancing in the ballroom with his brother and new sister-in-law. I enjoyed snatches of conversation with Bryce's two close high school friends, Cameron and Dylan.

At 10:30 p.m., Bryce and Elizabeth strode down a tunnel of guests for a fake send-off (my photo). 

Then everyone but us returned to the ballroom for an afterparty that ran until midnight. John and I were happily in bed in contented sleep by 11. And now, I have a daughter-in-law. Yippee!

(This beautiful bridal portrait was taken by the professional photographer, obviously)

Bryce sent this photo from their honeymoon in the Maldives:

Thanks to the storms in our area after Hurricane Helene, we were somewhat concerned we'd return home to find no power to open our garage door. We thanked God when we found our home safe and sound. The following morning, however, we looked out the window to this shocking sight:

You can see in the first photo how dreadful it could have been if it fell in another direction and hit the power line by the roof. The second photo barely shows the extensive destruction of the fence to John's garden. We are grateful to the Lord for a blessed weekend, safe flights, protection over our home in our absence, and for the joy of gaining a daughter-in-law.