Book Review: An Anonymous Girl

Once again, I stumbled onto a book written by two women, a concept I find so alluring. Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen work well together. I was hesitant because their New York Times best-selling book, The Wife Between Us, concerns infidelity and jealousy (I haven't read it). The comparison titles, Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train, didn't encourage me in the slightest. Indeed, at the beginning of An Anonymous Girl, I thought I might have to set the book aside, worried the content might veer off into racy alleys I didn't want to traverse. And it wasn't a wholesome read (protagonist is promiscuous and antagonist is insidious), but I marvel at the authors' expert ability to weave this intricate tale and hold me riveted through hundreds of pages, unable to set it aside for a moment.

The premise lured me in and kept me reading when I felt apprehension. By the time I was midway through, you couldn't tear me away from the book. Jessica Farris is a make-up artist who signs up for a psychology study to make easy money. By answering a questionnaire on ethics and morality, you make $500. The questions are probing and the research professor, Dr. Shields, won't settle for timid answers or lies. She's determined to get to the heart of the subject's moral compass. But something about Jessica (Subject 52) induces Dr. Shields to take the study to a whole new level. With pressing financial needs (help for her disabled sister) and the promise of even greater compensation, Jessica agrees without realizing what it might involve. As things unravel, Jessica gets caught up in the maelstrom. What is the truth? Should she lie? Who can she trust? What motive propels the study? Is this study, on ethics and morality, ethically and morally sound?

The book lived up to the accolades for The Wife Between Us, listed on the back cover: "A fiendishly smart cat-and-mouse thriller." (The New York Times); "Suspenseful and spring-loaded." (The Washington Post); "Buckle up, because you won't be able to put this one down." (Glamour) Indeed, I devoured the book ravenously in two days.

Probably the thing that enticed me the most was contemplating how seemingly innocuous choices can have far-reaching consequences. Two characters in the book take small actions that result in devastating trauma and loss for individuals they love. I am at just such a crossroads myself. As the book grappled with issues of morality, faithfulness, loyalty, and truth-telling, I thought of my own dilemmas arising from innocent, unintentional actions. In the end, my enjoyment of the complexity of the tale, the skillful writing, and the well-paced plot, overruled my hesitations stemming from the less wholesome aspects.

While the authors tastefully shied away from graphic descriptions, simply stating "she slept with him," the unwholesome aspects kept me from highly recommending this book. Still, I must admit it is a well-written, cleverly planned, and carefully executed thriller. I don't regret reading it and will continue to ponder the issues for days to come.

Book Review: Nine Perfect Strangers

Liane Moriarty's newest book, Nine Perfect Strangers, graced my list of anticipated books for Fall of 2018. Unfortunately, my name didn't come up in the library hold line until a few weeks ago. Plus, it took a while to get around to reading the book. I had not heard great things about it. In fact, it made a list of books that were let-downs in 2018 on a Facebook poll posted by 4BoysMother, the hilarious Melissa Fenton. But I wouldn't say the book disappointed. It wasn't my favorite Moriarty and wasn't exactly a clean read, but it was reasonably riveting. Although I expected to struggle with the excessive number of characters (after all, it is about nine perfect strangers who meet at a health resort), the author did a fine job of presenting them (even providing mnemonic devices).

So what characters gather together? Francis is a struggling best-selling novelist. Jessica and Ben have plenty of toys but little holding them together. Lars is a homosexual divorce lawyer whose partner wants a baby. Napoleon, Heather, and their daughter Zoe are fleeing associations of their dearly departed son/brother. Carmel's husband dumped her with her four daughters when he sprang for a newer model, and Tony is an ex-football star, facing a crisis of identity and purpose. All nine individuals hope that Tranquillium House will hold the key to transformation and peace (and maybe a little weight loss). But the methods the owner employs are unconventional and they face a more intense internal crisis than they had ever imagined.

A highly readable book, the pages flew away as I embraced each character and the separate stories unfolding. The characters were realistic and flawed. The issues they faced were believable and intense (I cried over the lost son/brother). Indeed, the writing was stellar. However, I bristled at the ideas espoused in the transformation process (intentionally vague here because I don't want to spoil it for the reader). If such events truly took place in real life, it would be horrifying. Again, it wasn't my favorite Moriarty book. Still, I enjoyed getting from the first page to the resolution and final words on page 450 (no useless fluff - every page necessary to get to the denouement). I laughed. I cried. I stepped into the lives of the fictional characters fully. So, although I wouldn't read it again, it was worth the time invested, even if only for learning from a master at character development and plot pacing.

Book Review: Little Heathens

Although I enjoy taking my sons with me to the library (love encouraging them to use all it offers), generally their accompaniment infringes on my ability to wander and browse to my heart's content. Alas, I was in need of another audio book and my youngest wanted to pick up a movie. Knowing his patience would wane quickly, I skimmed the non-fiction section of audio books and pulled two titles with little forethought.

Little Heathens: Hard Times and High Spirits on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression is a fairly interesting memoir. Author Mildred Armstrong Kalish (of my mother-in-law's generation) reflects on her childhood with a great sense of nostalgia for the old-fashioned way of doing things. She highlights the values of thrift, diligence, and hard work (emphasized repeatedly). She doesn't necessarily scorn modern attitudes but certainly glorifies the way things used to be over how modern technology and advancements have devalued certain aspects of life she cherishes. The stories provide a clear and lively glimpse into life on a farm during the Depression. She talks of her education, her chores, her games and satisfactions.

The book offered great storytelling. I loved listening to the exploits of the young boys attempting to topple an old man's outhouse and his expert revenge the following year. I eagerly imagined what it would be like, as a kid, to keep raccoons as pets and to tame young wild horses. It was easy to put myself in the author's shoes and experience these moments right alongside her. However, I wish I had read the book instead of listened. It plodded. She provided many recipes for things I will never make and tips on how to handle chores I will never perform. That was tiresome. Indeed, my son entered the room and said, "What are you listening to? A cookbook?" Ha!

I may recommend this one to my mother-in-law, however, because I know it would appeal to her greatly. She would relish all the old tales. It would remind her of her own childhood (although I don't believe her parents moved from town to live on the farm until later in her life). Anyone who grew up in a rural area between the 1920s and 1930s would probably find something of interest in the life Kalish remembers.

Book Review: Something Other Than God

Jennifer Fulwiler grew up as a non-believer. When pressured at a church camp to accept Christ as her Savior and Lord, she didn't give in and go along with what everyone else was mindlessly doing. But once she encountered the reality of death, her heart and intellect struggled with the purpose and meaning of life. The struggle only intensified years later when she married her husband Joe and gave birth to a child of her own. Was her baby's life without meaning, as well? I loved her quote discussing her new discontent with atheism:

“Atheism could not account for the bond that Joe and I shared. It offered no lexicon for capturing what I saw in my child. An atheistic worldview could offer an accurate explanation of the way my brain chemistry had been altered to experience more of the sensation we label 'love', but I was certain now that that explanation would stop short of the full truth. It would be like confusing a picture of the Grand Canyon with the actual place; there’s nothing false about the picture, but it would be foolish to confuse the piece of paper with the real thing. There was more to human life than the atoms that made up our bodies – I was sure of it.”

Thus, feeling the God-shaped vacuum Blaise Pascal identified (full quote here), Fulwiler embarked on a search for meaning and happiness (her book is aptly titled, Something Other Than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It). She read the Bible in secret to make sense of all the fuss. Her book outlines the progression of her questions and dissatisfaction with the answers she had previously accepted. Hers was not a quick and easy conversion to Catholicism. As a pro-choice atheist, she deeply wrestled with the issues on the table. She read Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ and accepted Jesus was who he claimed to be. She also read apologist C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity.

At this point, I took issue with her process. Responding to a quote from Lewis about why some people accept God more easily than others, Fulwiler bought into the false notion we must somehow clean ourselves up before we can present ourselves to the Creator. I don't believe Lewis was arguing for a works-based salvation. He was correctly identifying the hindrance sin causes in blinding eyes to the truth of Christ's offer for salvation.

The important qualifier is that we cannot clean ourselves. We are helpless to remove the sin and doubt that shackles our lives to misperceptions of God and His ways. He must open our eyes to our sinfulness and the chasm separating us from Him before we can accept that our righteousness is as filthy rags. It is only through the atonement Christ offers through His death on the cross we can bridge the gap between a sinful man and a holy God to align our lives with His holiness and claim His salvation. We cannot clean the mirror to reflect His holiness.

I believe she missed the first sentences of Lewis' quote:

“When you come to know God, the initiative lies on His side. If He does not show Himself, nothing you can do will enable you to find Him… [God] shows much more of Himself to some people than to others – not because He has favourites, but because it is impossible for Him to show Himself to a man whose whole mind and character are in the wrong condition. Just as sunlight, though it has no favourites, cannot be reflected in a dusty mirror as clearly as in a clean one.” 

We are not saved through our alignment with the church, through our repetitious affirmations of Mary's actions, through the prayers of others for us during our life or after. We are saved only through the blood of Christ in his sacrifice for our sins on the cross. To seek salvation by making ourselves presentable (doing the right things, taking communion, going to confession, etc.) misses the mark, since it is Christ's initiative on our behalf that does the work. ("For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV)

So, while Fulwiler does an excellent job of outlining her questions and her struggles on her way to belief in God, I still wonder if her belief system is adequate. One can believe there is a God without putting faith in God's ability to save. It brings to mind the famous illustration of the man who pushes a barrel over a chasm on a tightrope. He asks if people believe he can make it across. The crowd heartily clamors belief in his ability, but are they willing to put themselves in the barrel? It is as J. Warner Wallace articulates in his excellent book, Cold-Case Christianity, a person must move from "belief that" to "belief in". Is Fulwiler putting herself in the barrel or is she merely articulating a belief that it can be done? I don't know. I guess I just wonder if she's relying on something other than God.

Yikes! Boys Will Be Boys?

Friday night, Sean was invited to a party at his friend's house. I'm pretty sure he knew, as soon as I picked him up, that I would discover the damage done, so he confessed all right away. I'm not pleased with what he had to report - both for his end and for the repercussions. Apparently, he and the other friends his age, were provoking the younger brother and that brother's friends by repeatedly going into the younger brother's room uninvited (and obviously, unwanted). A fight broke out.

When Sean's friend's younger brother jumped on him, Sean fought back. He claims he didn't want to be beaten by a fourth grader. I expressed, repeatedly, that he should have held his hands up and clearly articulated that he didn't wish to hurt the boy. Alas, he did hurt the boy, punching and scrabbling with him. And, of course, I had to call the mother to apologize for my son's errant and violent behavior and to make sure her younger son was okay (he was and she even stated that Sean immediately apologized and insisted on shaking hands with her son to smooth things over).

Still, I have no tolerance for this! After I spoke with Sean vehemently on Friday night (John was already in bed when I picked Sean up), his dad sat down with him on Saturday morning to eke out the story again and to clarify that violence is never the answer to conflict and that, really, he brought this on himself by his choice to provoke the younger boys.

While admitting that I am sorely disappointed in the choices my own son made, I am equally horrified by the choice that the younger brother's friend made when he saw Sean fighting back. This boy decided to jump into the fight and beat my son over the arm, not with his fist, but with some sort of wooden pipe or stick. I guess you could say Sean got his comeuppance, and then some:

May this teach Sean to bend over backwards to avoid violence in the future! I don't know the mother of the inflicting boy, but I sure hope she has a tough conversation with her son, as well. Boys!

Book Review: Hurricane of Love

I'm grateful to my library for their alert system informing patrons of newly acquired books. This book, Hurricane of Love: My Journey with Beth Wheeler, otherwise wouldn't have been on my radar. Although it was difficult to read (because the subject matter is hard and depressing), it was a blessing to catch of glimpse of this woman's life story and the author's perspective on loving and losing her.

Dan Wheeler works for QVC. In this quick, emotional read, he tells the story of meeting and marrying his wife, Beth. He shares an intimate look into their lives as they raise two daughters. Then, he details the journey that took them from an initial cancer diagnosis to her departure from this earth. He never holds back as he offers a window to his pain.

Although her family would have surely loved to have had more time with her, it was a blessing to know that throughout her sixty-some years on earth, she touched many lives. Dan calls her "a hurricane of love," because she embraced every individual she met and made them feel like they mattered. What a wonderful legacy to leave behind!

Wedding Dress Prior to Keepsake

Jen left a comment on the previous blog post requesting photos of the wedding dress in its original condition. Sadly, my scanner doesn't work, I don't know how to fix it, and the photos I do have are bound in an album. Thus, here are a few grainy images of the dress on our special day: