Thursday, February 17, 2011

Craving Time Alone

My blog has been severely neglected. I know. Frankly, my own personal needs have been severely neglected, as well.

Despite being an extrovert, I really do need some time and space alone. Lately, I haven't been getting that. My mood is less than kind.

At first, it was the foul weather keeping everyone here on the home front more than usual. Then, it was bouts of sickness of one sort or another.

Plus, my evening hours to myself have been interrupted by several things: sore back, bad cold, need for sleep, and the oldest son staying up until midnight and one in the morning doing homework on the computer. GRRR!

Don't the members of my boy-tribe know that old adage: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I never get a chance to grow fonder of them because THEY ARE ALWAYS HERE! Well, except for this moment, right now (I have just dropped the two little boys off at afternoon school and have an undetermined amount of silence here by myself until hubby returns home from a doctor's appointment to grab lunch before he heads back to work).

Even Sean, who used to be my primary source of sweetness and light ... has turned sour. He is in a stage of endless tears. If he has to go to school, he cries. If he doesn't win a game, he cries. If his brothers tease, he cries. If he has to eat his peas, he cries. My sympathies have all dried up and I have taken to sending him to his room with his tears and turning on the radio to drown them out in the van.

I battle feelings of guilt for wishing them all away, but I could scream right along with Kevin McAllister from "Home Alone." Perhaps, one day, as Kevin's mother warns him, I'll regret these feelings ... but they are what they are and I need some space.

Even the clocks are annoying me. John purchased two new clocks for the house and I have noticed (only after the fact, that they tick loudly). Is there not enough clamor and noise in this house full of boys already? Silence, you stupid clocks. Go away ... so I can be ALONE!!!

2 comments:

Elizabeth A. said...

I used to cry like that. My mother did the exact same thing. Just go to your room until you feel better. It eventually become a saying at my house because I would come into the den and announce, "I all better now." It is still said today, because I was a big crybaby. Okay, I still am.

Wendy Hill said...

Sometimes I worry that I will make him think it is not okay to cry, but really ... it IS GETTING TO ME.