Book Review: Coming Clean - Highly Recommend

Did someone highly recommend Seth Haines' Coming Clean to me? I don't recall. Someone should have! This book, once read, demands passing along to others. It resonated to my core! 

Although it chronicles his first 90 days of sobriety, it is not merely a book for addicts. It is for anyone who has wrestled with the Lord over the pains and trials of this life. Seth paints vivid pictures of the searing despair that drove him to the bottle. Why do we seek our petty pleasures and diversions instead of allowing God to lance our wounds and heal our soul-sickness? It is easier to numb the pain than to bring it to the altar. 

And besides, pain has a way of giving rise to doubts... about God's goodness, will, presence, and purpose. It is much harder to turn to One you worry has betrayed you or abandoned you. Seth's raw honesty hit me between the eyes. It reverberated in my soul! If life has battered you, if you've sought artificial alleviations, or doubted the very One you claim to love, you need to read this book. Even better, try to find it in audio form because Seth's lyrical prose is breathtaking when read by the author.

How did I miss the buzz about this book? Coming Clean: A Story of Faith was published ten years ago and won a Christianity Today Book Award. I'm certain I wasn't ready for this book in 2015. God knew when my soul needed to hear the poetic words this author weaves about faith and forgiveness. Not only am I more familiar now with an addict's journey, but I recognize my own tendencies to wrestle with faith and seek comfort in clumsy coping mechanisms.

When Seth's infant son, Titus, fails to thrive and literally shrinks, faith and prayer feel insufficient while alcohol promises to numb the pain. He writes, "Is God with us? If faith starts as a mustard seed, maybe doubt does too.... Anyone who's felt the sting of unanswered prayer, shares the same searing question. Where did our God go?" This book is a journal of his process toward sobriety, his coming clean. He apologizes for his swirl of memories and metaphors, but that is the exact reason it packs such a powerful punch. That, and its honesty.

Seth seeks to identify the genesis of his pain and doubt. It seems to go back to a faith healer in his youth who promised God's cure for his severe asthma if he had enough faith. When the cure didn't come, his family moved on to a rigid church that shunned the miraculous and opted for personal holiness. Systems became the idol of choice. In the middle of his ruminations on the various theological approaches (and the inevitable pain they inspire), he poses this passionate question: "If you are not a people that believes in healing, what framework is there to reconcile a sick world?" Jesus didn't come for those who have it all together; He came to save sinners like me.

As Seth attempts to avoid relapse, he often relies on The Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." In brutal honesty, he observes, "If he doesn't act in accordance with our felt need, we see him as absentee, capricious, or a predestining God of sorrow." In our desperate groaning for redemption, we must submit our will to the will of God, just as Christ did in the Garden of Gethsemane, when he felt abandoned. We must forgive the kind-hearted people with their burning words, their platitudes of "it's all to bring God glory." Seth outlines his journey, "moving from doubt to belief, from drunk to sober, from prodigal to unified with the Christ of my youth." Who knows, his thoughts while coming clean might just fortify you on your journey.