Book Review: Tips on Staying Alive

At the beginning of the month, I reviewed a book called Reasons to Stay Alive. Now, I'm highlighting a book called Tips on Staying Alive by L. Neal Pearcy. I met the author at an author fair and we enjoyed good conversation. Pearcy is a ten-year cancer survivor. His little book can be broken down into two sections. The medical half is insightful; the story half is inspiring.

Tips on Staying Alive is an articulate, well-organized book. It provides tons of leads on places to secure information if you are battling illness. In fact, if you purchase the eBook version you can more easily follow the many provided links. Pearcy hooked me in the first sentence:

"The average life expectancy in the United States is 76.1 years, according to 2022 data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)."

I began calculating how many more years I may have left if the CDC estimation is close. Since I'm facing a significant milestone year, it was unsettling. I read with interest the explanations of terms, outlines of treatments, and suggestions for staying alive longer. I fully intend to create some encouraging promises (or statements) to post around my computer and other areas in the house to encourage a positive outlook.

My favorite chapter, though, was the final one. What an interesting and unusual life Neal Pearcy has lived! He has triumphed over astonishing adversities. This makes his wisdom in the first half of the book credible and valid. He offers the heartfelt story of his challenging childhood. If someone can withstand and overcome parental death, abandonment, isolation, and low self-esteem, they can overcome illness with that same determined spirit. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read Pearcy's book.

Book Review: The Letter Tree

Titles in my recent reads have been aligning in strange ways. After listening to You Are a Tree, I ventured into an audio Christian novel called The Letter Tree by Rachel Fordham. This is a modern Romeo and Juliet tale, emphasizing family, forgiveness, and freedom. I'm a big fan of novels that explore relationships forged through correspondence. This one was a love story, but I'm also interested in ones that develop friendships.

After losing her mother in a car accident, Laura Bradshaw lives under the bitter and overbearing hand of her father, head of the Bradshaw Shoe Company. While Laura feels suffocated and unable to follow her dreams, Isaac Campbell suffers from the opposite plight. His father, former business associate of Bradshaw and owner of the rival Campbell Shoe Company, encourages Isaac to do whatever he likes, keeping him out of the responsibilities of the business. The two fractured families have maintained a bitter feud ever since Mrs. Bradshaw's mysterious death.

When Laura leaves a poem in the trunk of a tree at the zoo, she has no idea that a "pine-cone throwing boy" will respond and embark on a lengthy trail of correspondence and friendship. As each day goes by, Laura grows more attached to this mysterious friend. But her father wants to use her as a pawn for a business deal. Thus, she seeks to break off the "letter tree correspondence." Both Isaac and Laura are desperate to learn what really divided their families and if resolution could ever be possible.

I adored this novel. It gave plenty to think about (especially thoughts on forgiveness and how unforgiveness leaves wounds in its wake). The characters were endearing and believable. The pacing kept the story moving. As always, I'm a big fan of books full of redemption. I will look for more by Rachel Fordham.

Mid-month Mention: Bereavement Resources

My heart has been heavily burdened since the end of February. I have a good friend, L, who lost her son years ago when he was a child. She is such a compassionate and encouraging individual. At one point, when my young boys were getting to me, I ran away from home and drove to visit her overnight. We ate at a fine Mexican restaurant and chatted well into the night. Indeed, she talked me down from a ledge. I adore her!

The last Sunday in February, I received a text saying her 34-year-old daughter (and L's only remaining child) had died in a car accident. The daughter leaves behind 2 young sons. This is a catastrophic loss! I am speechless (not that any amount of words could help when the volume of pain is so great). Every prayer begins with L's name and a request for God to comfort where no comfort seems possible. This great loss, combined with the intensity in my personal situation with a wayward child, has brought discouragement and depression.

I was curious to see if there were any resources on-line for parents who have lost all their children. My friend is not in this camp alone. Indeed, several weeks back, there was a police chase nearby where a collision caused the deaths of two small children. I cannot fathom this dynamic of grief. One morning, this mother was dressing and kissing her two little ones and sending them off with their dad. The next, she was grieving the loss of both her children and worrying over their dad's injuries.

The best online options I could find with this specific dynamic was on a resource page offered by the University of Iowa. They provide a list of a dozen books on the loss of a child and a half dozen websites. They also mentioned the only resource I could find to reach and comfort parents who have experienced the loss of all their children. Alive Alone is a support page specifically for parents who have no remaining children.

Music can soothe my soul when I'm consumed with trouble. I found a brief list of songs for a grieving mother on The Teacher's Wife blog. Lately, I have been comforted by some songs by Leanna Crawford. I first encountered her song, "Still Waters," reflecting the comfort from the 23rd Psalm ("Write scripture on your heart for when you need it."). Last week, I discovered "Better Yet."  When I searched these links, I found her song, "Honest." It is my constant prayer, these days, that God will carry L and all who are in the throes of extreme loss. The Lord can give comfort that none of us can provide. 

Book Review: You Are a Tree

I always appreciate learning about books that my friends recommend on Good Reads. My friend, Sarah Ilsters, posted about this book. I'm grateful I found an audio copy available on Hoopla. The book contained so much to glean that I also accessed the eBook version and took notes.

In You Are a Tree, Clarkson explores various metaphors we use for things like wisdom, depression, love, and faith. One reviewer found it too heady, but for this English major graduate, it was a pure delight to delve into the words we use to explain and understand our lives and our faith. Metaphors help us express profound concepts. In this book, the author explores seven metaphors, many of which feel very familiar (people as trees, wisdom as light, life as a journey). But her words, expounding on these ideas, are ripe with meaning. She discusses our drive to be productive, as we so often see ourselves as machines. The Bible is chock-full of metaphors to help us understand God and His ways.

I was eager to access the eBook besides listening to the audio. At the end of each metaphor chapter, Clarkson offers resources to explore in connection with the ideas she has presented. These sections provide a prayer, an activity, a list of paintings, films, poems, podcasts, etc. to consider, and an explanation of why she recommends them. They were rich and provided a great jumping-off place. Excellent books move you to incorporate and personalize what you've read.

What a joy to take apart words and examine how we use them to elaborate on what we experience! I loved how she used scripture to flesh out ideas of wisdom and light. Her words on journeys and sadness moved me. This is a book I would love to own to highlight passages and explore the suggestions for further consideration. At the end, Clarkson provides further reading to accompany each chapter. I could spend hours thinking about the metaphors discussed in this articulate and engaging book!

Book Review: Letters from the Mountain - Highly Recommend

Bob Hostetler is not only the author of one of my favorite devotionals, The Shakespeare Devotional, but he also lures me into other books through his twenty-word book review blog. Some recommendations sit in my "Books to Read" file for a while. Bob recommended Ben Palpant's Letters from the Mountain three years ago. Books often meet us right where we need them. That is true of this book. It was like a salve on my wounded soul.

In these letters, Palpant writes to his daughter about the generative act of writing. The very nature of this gift blows me away! The letters are full of wisdom and encouragement. They express his deep love for writing, for God, and for his daughter. Since he is a poet, his words dance and sing. As I listened from my library Hoopla app, I grew desperate to hold the book in hand and underline and highlight. I heard so many nuggets of truth; I want to own this book.

Writers should aim for the soul with patient urgency and keen attentiveness, seeing what others cannot see. He calls the writer to cultivate the soil of the imagination. Foremost, a writer must serve the reader and let it go out into the world. He writes, "Work! Leave the prosperity to God!" We should remember our writing brings God's light. The light is important, not the lantern.

I loved his illustration about God's timing. He tells a story of their visit to Oxford, where he hoped to find C. S. Lewis' cottage and gravestone. The day was fraught with complications and obstacles. His wife was ill. They needed to find an elusive clinic. He even prayed for rain to help him gain his desired ends. Instead, the sun beat down, stoking his frustration. In the end, God revealed perfect timing.

I loved his insight about valuing the "day job," because it provides a wealth of soil for cultivation in the imagination. It "equips you to serve." Also, I needed his words about gratitude. It adjusts your vision to focus on abundance rather than scarcity. Instead of keeping your eyes riveted on your empty left hand, recognize your right hand is overflowing with God's blessings. Oh, how my eyes linger on scarcity! He writes, "Worry reigns when we try to fix what only God can fix and know what only He can know."

The book is full of beautiful images of what it means to write for the Lord. He shares architectural principles that can apply to writing. He gives numbered lists of actions to employ. (As usual, walking makes the list!) He says that, as Christian writers, we are viaducts bringing living water and lanterns shining His light in a dark world. Our words can be life-giving if we will give them and leave the results to God. Those words, so often, come from places of deep pain.

Palpant points out, we should not fear suffering. It is often the soil that grows beautiful and true writing. His words remind me how important it is to nurture our gifts. This book has beckoned me back into the arena to pick up my weapons again. I have shared before that I have been in a spell of relative inactivity. Finding my son mid-overdose and walking through the subsequent descent into deeper addiction has somehow numbed my pen. I can pour out personal writing and have kept my book review blog going, but projects require more than I can give. For quite some time, I have been in a liminal space. That is okay. If God so desires, I will catch the spark again. Certainly, this book is full of embers waiting to re-ignite my dampened calling.

Book Review: Happy & Sad & Everything True

Sometimes I settle for a middle grade book out of sheer frustration over the content in women's fiction. I have recently read and tossed aside 3 or 4 books. In two different books, I waded through 4 or 5 CDs (1/2 the book) before coming upon content I just couldn't tolerate. So discouraging! Indeed, for our December book club meeting, we had a book exchange. I received a psychological thriller from a popular author. In seeking an audio book for my car trips, I selected one of her other books as an introductory sample. With that one, I overlooked smut until half-way through, when I just couldn't take it anymore. 

Thus, on the next trip to the library, I selected Happy & Sad & Everything True by Alex Thayer. Slated for readers 10 and up, it straddles the age brackets of children's and tween. The main character is in the 6th grade, but includes characters who are in 2nd. I appreciated a clean book for a change.

Dee is sure her mother doesn't understand. She expresses her devastation at being placed in a class apart from her best friend Juniper. Her mother says it will give her the opportunity to make new friends. But watching a best friend detach from you is never easy. As she hides out in the school bathroom, she discovers she is not the only one with problems. As she helps others, she heals her own wounds simultaneously.

Thayer has presented, as the title describes, a range of emotions that children face, and presented them with honesty. The reader cannot help but feel for Dee as she endures mortification, confusion, frustration, and hope. She is an empathetic character who draws empathy from the reader. This would make a good read-aloud, but I would steer it toward 4th or 5th graders.

As for the gifted book, I cannot decide if I will wade through possible cautionary content or not (easier when it is a physical book and you can skip a page). I'm not against psychological thrillers, and this author has quite a following. I just prefer not to get bogged down in sexual promiscuity with graphic details. So sad! It has become harder and harder to find clean women's fiction. Perhaps I will have to stick with Christian fiction and miss out on reading skilled writers who cannot write without bludgeoning the reader with language, filth, and smut.

Book Review: Reasons to Stay Alive

Matt Haig, author of The Midnight Library and How to Stop Time, has written an intimate book about his experience with anxiety and depression. I'm confused because it is billed as both a novel and a memoir. What parts are true? What parts fabricated? Regardless, I wanted to read this book. 

How I wish this subject didn't interest me! How I wish it was something completely foreign! I have battled clinical depression ever since my miscarriage, prior to my oldest son's birth. When we discovered Bryce's unexpected pregnancy, I had to stop taking the depression meds. It wasn't long before I was on them again, though, due to postpartum blues. For some reason, I didn't sink low after Trevor's birth. But, I suffered the worst bout of depression after my final childbirth. 

I'm familiar with the depths Haig is outlining and dissecting in Reasons to Stay Alive. I know the suicidal thoughts, the panic attacks, and the encompassing emptiness. Going off the medicine never works for me. I cannot battle this monster without it, much to my dismay. Those who have struggled with true depression (not just a blue day or two) will relate to Haig's descriptive analysis. His honesty and vulnerability are refreshing. Too often, we shy away from sharing our struggles. He has bared his soul (or created a soul similar to his own) and readers will benefit and find hope and solace in his words. There are, indeed, many reasons to stay alive.