Mid-month Mention: Homelessness Resources in Indy

In July, our son's addiction rendered him homeless. As if the fears associated with his drug use were not intense enough, we added anxious concern for his overnight parking. He often selected places in very bad parts of Indianapolis. The drugs might do their damage, but criminals could harm him, too. His homelessness inspired my interest in this month's mid-month mention topic.

Indianapolis is now fighting this battle with a new organization called Safe Park Indy. As of October 1st, they offer 10 safe parking spots in a NE church parking lot for those who submit an application and fulfill the program requirements (these requirements rule out my son). Accepted applicants not only gain a safe location to park in the evenings for two months, but they have access to phone charging, restroom facilities and social services opportunities. This program seems destined to offer a leg up to some who have been crippled by homelessness. Here is a WTHR news story about this Safe Park Indy program.

Another non-profit organization helping meet needs in Indianapolis is Indy Community Pantry. They have refrigerators at 3 Indianapolis locations, open 24 hours a day, stocked with food and resources for both homeless and needy individuals. Headed up by a concerned citizen, DeAndrea Rayner, these pantries offer opportunities to meet the needs of the less fortunate in Indianapolis. You can volunteer to help stock the fridges, you can donate items, or you can offer financial support. If you're in need, you can access food and hygiene items. Here is a WTHR news story about the Indy Community Pantry. 

The final organization provides an intersection of two topics I've bumped against: homelessness and hospice care. My mother was fortunate. She had my father to house and care for her both prior to and in her hospice days. Many are not so blessed. Morning Light, Inc. meets these unique homelessness needs. They provide free housing and round the clock care to those who have a terminal illness while homeless. Their 12-bedroom facility just happens to include my oldest son's name: The Abbie Hunt Bryce Home. They have already served over 900 Hoosiers. Morning Light requires community funding through grants and donations. They also utilize volunteers to help meet the needs of homeless hospice patients. I noticed a Facebook post by Madison Wood and wanted to get the word out about this compassionate non-profit organization. If you have an interest in the widespread homelessness problem, check out these resources and get involved to be part of the solution.

Book Review: Secrets at the Last House Before the Sea

I found Secrets at the Last House Before the Sea by Liz Eeles on the Hoopla audio app. It is the first book in the Heaven's Cove series. I enjoyed listening to this title and might seek the second in the series, A Letter to the Last House Before the Sea. The book takes place on the Devon coast. It is full of British charm and small town coziness.

Here is the summary from the Amazon page:

"Back in the tiny seaside village of Heaven’s Cove after the death of her mother, all Rosie Merchant wants is to hide her tears, rent out her childhood home, and get back to her ‘real’ life, away from the gossiping villagers and wild Devon weather she escaped from years ago.

She’s surprised to find a smiling man in hiking boots – local farmer Liam – waiting on the stone doorstep. His kind offer to help clear crumbling, isolated Driftwood House is hard to refuse, and despite Rosie’s determination not to let anyone get close, soon they’re walking and laughing together along the clifftops. As clouds scud across the endless sky and green waves crash against the shore, Rosie is reminded that nowhere is more beautiful than home.

Then, up in the attic of Driftwood House, Rosie stumbles across a photo which exposes the heart-stopping truth about how her mother came to live at Driftwood House years ago… and Liam only seems concerned about the implications for his own nearby farm. Did he know this painful secret all along, and should she run from Heaven’s Cove for good? Or will facing up to her devastating family history mean Rosie can finally put down roots in this beautiful place?"

Though characters exhibit a casual attitude toward sex, this was mostly a clean read. There are 7 books in the Heaven's Cove series. I will have to keep an eye out for the ones I can access easily. Who knows? I might get swept in and purchase the rest, as well.

Gaining a Daughter

Ever since May 2023, when our oldest son Bryce proposed to his girlfriend Elizabeth, we have been fixated on the final weekend in September 2024. The flurry of preparation was minimal for us (primarily, finding suitable mother-of-the-groom attire and losing weight before the event), but Elizabeth took on all the details with great care and calculation. She is a highly driven and organized person. I marvel at her skill for planning this elaborate event.

My anxiety level was intense. I worried about so many details. Would our prodigal be able to participate appropriately? (Due to recent events connected with his addiction, he did not attend.) Would I lose enough weight to be comfortable with the time-sealed photos of the event? (I lost 19 pounds between January and the wedding.) Could I find a dress comfortable enough for my dress-loathing personality? (Thanks to a kind Von Maur associate named Diedre, I found my very comfortable and flattering dress and knew it was "the dress.") Could I endure the dreaded mother-son dance, when all eyes would be on me and my lack of dancing skill would be evident? (My hairdresser suggested a strategy. I spent the whole time in riveted conversation with Bryce. It worked and eased my nerves.)

After years of cheap haircuts at Great Clips, I was determined to find a hairdresser I could afford and appreciate. Thankfully, I found that at a men's hair salon, of all places. I have been getting outstanding senior women's cuts from Amelia at Manscapes Salon. She gave me a sense of confidence I lacked and helped me settle on a style I was comfortable with and capable of maintaining. I tried to time the cut, but may have been off by a week (it looked best one week prior to the wedding, sob).

Formal events scare me. While I'm not a country bumpkin (despite living in a rural enclave), I'm not comfortable in high society. The wedding took place at the Hotel Crescent Court in Dallas, Texas. It was absolutely stunning and gorgeous. Elaborate glass sculptures hung from the ceiling. Large canvas art adorned the walls. I felt a bit like an imposter, an ugly duckling among swans, but was surprised by how much I enjoyed the proceedings.

We flew into Dallas on Thursday evening and, apart from our experience at a sketchy McDonalds nearby (sought for a close, quick, inexpensive meal), enjoyed our Home 2 Suites stay and breakfast. Friday morning, we took an Uber to the tux shop with luggage in tow (another ugly duckling among swans experience as we looked a bit homeless amid the grandeur of Culwell & Son). Next, we headed for Hotel Crescent Court. John waited for our room's availability and Sean and I attended groomsmen/bridesmaid luncheons. (My meal at Sixty Vines was so delicious that we ate there for lunch again on Saturday with my father.)

Now that my mother is deceased, my father is free to travel for weddings. He safely drove all the way from Florida to Texas for my nephew's wedding in July, so he felt confident in making the trek again for Bryce's wedding. This time around, however, he left on Wednesday 9/25, just a day ahead of the expected landfall for Hurricane Helene. I was nervous on his behalf, but he managed to get ahead of the storm. (Although, he did arrive later than I'd hoped and missed the initial moments of the rehearsal where we discussed his entrance, given his current use of a power wheelchair.)

After the rehearsal, we paused for photos (snapped by their outstanding professional photographer, Sami Kathryn Photography):

The rehearsal dinner took place at The Henry, a restaurant with a great patio view of the Dallas skyline. It was, perhaps, the best meal I've eaten in a very long time. The meal started with an appetizer of house made pretzel balls with fondue. This was followed by a Caesar salad. For the entree, I ordered the braised short rib with bourbon caramel, roasted mushroom, fourme d'ambert, and smashed potatoes. The meat was so tender it melted in my mouth. Just when I thought the meal couldn't get any better, they brought out the dessert: a chocolate fudge torte with peanut butter crunch, milk chocolate mousse, and candied peanut caramel. Knowing I needed to fit into my dress, I intended to only eat half, yet somehow bite after bite cleared the plate clean. If you're ever in Dallas, this dessert deserves a special trip!

Saturday's wedding was beautiful, memorable, and fun. Here's a family photo taken by the photographer:

Here are a few snapped with my camera:

The wedding was held in the courtyard with an expected crowd of around 100-125 people. I wanted Bryce and Elizabeth to be able to invite their Purdue and work friends. It was an adult only affair and there are 19 cousins/spouses on my side, several with small children. Thus, the only cousins invited were on my husband's side (4). Family members who were able to attend really had a great time! They enjoyed a delicious meal, wedding cake, and dancing. John and I sat watching most of the festivities and wondered how our youngest knew words to all the dance songs. He had a great time dancing in the ballroom with his brother and new sister-in-law. I enjoyed snatches of conversation with Bryce's two close high school friends, Cameron and Dylan.

At 10:30 p.m., Bryce and Elizabeth strode down a tunnel of guests for a fake send-off (my photo). 

Then everyone but us returned to the ballroom for an afterparty that ran until midnight. John and I were happily in bed in contented sleep by 11. And now, I have a daughter-in-law. Yippee!

(This beautiful bridal portrait was taken by the professional photographer, obviously)

Bryce sent this photo from their honeymoon in the Maldives:

Thanks to the storms in our area after Hurricane Helene, we were somewhat concerned we'd return home to find no power to open our garage door. We thanked God when we found our home safe and sound. The following morning, however, we looked out the window to this shocking sight:

You can see in the first photo how dreadful it could have been if it fell in another direction and hit the power line by the roof. The second photo barely shows the extensive destruction of the fence to John's garden. We are grateful to the Lord for a blessed weekend, safe flights, protection over our home in our absence, and for the joy of gaining a daughter-in-law.

Book Review: The Summer of Yes

One of my favorite books of last year was The Happy Life of Isadora Bentley by Courtney Walsh. I recommended it to my new book club, not even realizing it was published by a Christian publisher. That book hit all the boxes of need in my life. It resonated like a megaphone. During my second read-through with that book club, I noted all the things Isadora attempted to improve her happiness quotient in her life. While I haven't pursued those lessons, I relished the opportunity to consider what stands in the way of feelings of happiness and fulfillment.

I jumped on the hold list as soon as I saw my library had a new Courtney Walsh book. The Summer of Yes is as uplifting and life-affirming as her previous book. Once again, it inspired contemplation and introspection. I questioned, "where do I say 'no' out of fear or discomfort?" The ability to determine your "yes" or "no" with integrity is a tricky thing. I have said "yes" in previous circumstances, based on a belief that it is something others want me to do. It may have even seemed God wanted me to do it, yet when life led in another direction, others then questioned my integrity and my belief in following God's leading.

This is a tangent, but one worth exploring. Where do we get the right to determine where God is leading another person and how can we be certain that God might not be leading them out of an opportunity, just as much as He led them into an opportunity? This is very personal. My parents were Salvation Army officers for many years. Then one day, my dad said God was calling him to leave the ministry. I cannot express how many people cast judgement on them for this action. Even the wording in the Army's officer covenant holds marital implications, as if God's calling is a calling for life. In my opinion, that's not how God works. Biblically speaking, His call has led His followers into and out of opportunities, even into prison experiences. The important thing is to filter these decisions through a lens of God's desires for us. This is not a straightforward task. We can think we know God's desires (and often think we know God's desires for another person), but sometimes that is personally motivated rather than spiritually motivated.

Back to the book and why you should say "yes" to reading it. A random, life-threatening accident lands Kelsey Worthington (assistant editor for a publishing company) in a hospital room with Georgina Tate (eminent businesswoman). Kelsey recognizes Georgina and her curious mind kicks in. She asks Georgina if she has any regrets in her long life of breaking the glass ceiling. Kelsey is processing her life, in light of her near-death, and wondering if what she is pursuing will be worthwhile in the end. This is a valid question everyone should explore.

Kelsey determines to alter her life by saying "yes" to things she has always turned down. She begins by taking time off work (something she never did) and spending time at the zoo with her best friend (again, she admits she was a crappy friend). But the more she ponders Georgina's life, the more she is convinced that the intersection of their lives was with purpose. She believes that purpose is to pursue the "Summer of Yes." Kelsey hijacks Georgina's life and leads her on a road trip that will alter both of their lives and will cause them to re-evaluate their decisions.

Georgina's handsome son adds a layer of romance. The characters are interesting and believable. Walsh nails the voice again. Kelsey and Georgina both are very particular and opposite characters. I enjoyed the road trip aspect, the thoughts to contemplate and personalize, and the positive resolution. Various lines made me laugh out loud. This is a book about redemption and forgiveness, my favorite themes to explore. I recommend this book if you catch yourself turning down opportunities because they require you to step out of your comfort zone or approach things you feel unqualified to attempt. After the acknowledgements, there's a section with discussion questions, making this a perfect option for a book club.

Book Review: Catching Foxes - Highly Recommend

Several months back, I mentioned my desire to send my son and future daughter-in-law a pre-marital discussion guide. The one I wanted to send, written by Gary Thomas, was called Nine Essential Conversations Before You Say I Do. At the time, they were not seeking pre-marital counseling, but my husband urged me not to send the book. He argued they were both very busy and would not have the time to read the book. Moreover, I think he didn't want me inserting myself into the process. Fair!

Thanks to certain changes in their lives, they sought pre-marital counseling from a mentor couple in their church, the Eastside Community Church. I asked what book they were using and then went online to see if I could access it through my library. The book they worked through is called Catching Foxes: A Gospel-Guided Journey to Marriage by John Henderson. Now, I'm wondering if God intended the book as much for me as it was for their journey. I listened to this book during my treadmill time and completed it the day prior to our (my and John's) 34th wedding anniversary.

Amid a chaotic and stressful week with our prodigal, I requested prayer from my Facebook friends. Things did not go well. They played out the opposite of how I believed God willed. Mistakes were made, and I was angry that my opinions were ignored. I allowed resentment and bitterness to take hold of my heart and soul. It doesn't surprise me that God used this book, Catching Foxes, to draw me back and reveal the pride, arrogance, and sin within my own heart.

I was right in the sections on marital roles/responsibilities and resolving conflict. How timely! God used this book to open my eyes to my lack of trust in Christ. I went in thinking I knew exactly what should happen. When that didn't happen (and I felt part of this was due to the behavior/decisions of my husband), I justified my anger because if things had gone my way, it would have fallen out in God's will. This was believing somehow that my will was God's will. This was placing my trust (and then disappointment and discouragement) in my husband's ability to do what I felt he should in the situation. I had my trust centered in the wrong place. I asserted my will for my own desires, not in submission to what God allowed to play out.

Of course, I sometimes need a 2x4 upside the head. So, in my devotions, I came upon a passage in Matthew 12:25 - "a household divided against itself will not stand." In my personal Bible reading, I came to Psalm 112: 7 - "He shall not be afraid of evil tidings, his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord." Then, not even knowing the dynamics of my situation, my good friend, Anne, wrote to me:

"Our devotions lately have become so meaningful as we have been reminded of God's faithfulness, His work in us, and His weaving of our life story for His glory. I am not so good at the trusting part of this, but so often want to do things my way, and then pray for God to affirm the choices/decisions that ultimately I am making instead of relying on Him to meet all of my needs! (Ha! What an eye opener it is when I realize that I'm basically saying, 'I'll take the wheel on this one!')"

The Gary Thomas book I wanted to send is very good and practical. Catching Foxes is very gospel-focused. Indeed, the Nine Conversations book helps a couple think about how to prepare their relationship for marriage. Catching Foxes goes deeper and helps a couple recognize attitudes and positions in Christ necessary for the arduous task of staying married. Getting married is simple! Can be fun! Staying married depends upon a reliance on Christ and a dedication to live for His kingdom. It demands a self-sacrificing focus that fixes its gaze on Christ instead of self or spouse. I highly recommend this pre-marital workbook, not only for young couples starting out, but for us older folk, who just might need a brush-up course on surrendering one's will and one's marriage to the Lord.

2024 - Third Quarterly Review

To assist my blog readers, I summarize my reading four times a year, providing a brief description, the page count, and a grading scale (💖5 thumbs up - highly recommend, 4 thumbs up - enjoyed, 3 thumbs up - good, 2 thumbs up - meh, and 1 thumb down - regret, wishing I could get back the time invested). I read the following books during the third quarter of 2024 (links to full reviews can be found in the side-bar, or after 2024, found through the search bar at the right):

Origins of a Story by Jake Grogan - 202 stories of the inspiration behind famous works of literature. Delightfully intriguing, even for the ones I didn't know. 320 pages, 👍👍👍👍

The Getaway Girls by Dee MacDonald - 3 older women set off on a caravan adventure seeking escape, connection, and love. Light-hearted beach read. 340 pages, 👍👍👍

Tree. Table. Book. by Lois Lowry - 11-year-old Sophie prods stories from her best friend, 88-year-old Sophie as they face down declining cognitive abilities. Sweet tale. 208 pages, 👍👍👍-1/2

💖Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - A penniless child sent, by callous relatives, to boarding school trains and becomes a governess for a mysterious and magnetic master, Mr. Rochester. Such a well-written and executed novel. Deserves to be the classic it is! 480 pages (I listened in audio form, 16 CDs, 17-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍👍👍

The Memory Library by Kate Storey - An estranged mother and daughter reconnect and reconcile through a shared love of books. 337 pages, 👍👍👍

The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip by Sara Brunsvold - Rookie reporter Aidyn Kelly doesn't know what she's in for when asked to write an obituary for the remarkable, hospice patient, Mrs. Clara Kip. A tale of faith, friendship, and final moments. 368 pages (I listened on Hoopla, 10-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍👍

The Divine Proverb of Streusel by Sara Brunsvold - Nikki Werner flees to her father's childhood home after her parents' divorce complicates her relationship with her boyfriend, Isaac. While there, she uncovers her German heritage and attempts to "do the next thing." 308 pages, 👍👍👍👍-1/2

Cold Light of Day by Elizabeth Goddard - A Christian romantic thriller set in Alaska. Will the mysterious Grier Brenner confess why he is in Shadow Gap and how he is perfectly prepared for helping the police chief deal with the current crime spate? 336 pages, 👍👍👍

What a Wave Must Be by Angela Hunt - A Christian novel about suicide. Very difficult listen. Not sure I'm glad I bit. 320 pages (I listened on Hoopla, 8 hours), 👍👍

How to Read a Book by Monica Wood - 3 lives intersect in a bookstore demonstrating regret, grief, and forgiveness. It is also about reading and the restorative nature of books. 273 pages, 👍👍👍👍

💖Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt - What a remarkably bright debut novel weaving a tale of a widow, an octopus, and an abandoned young man. Each has dealt with loss, but when they connect it brings all the feels! Didn't want it to end! 368 pages (I listened in audio form, 11-1/4 hours), 👍👍👍👍👍

The Year That Changed Us by Helen Rolfe - Best friends Emma and Lise head to Paris for a year of adventure. What transpires leads to fractures in the friendship that take years to surmount. 322 pages (I listened on Hoopla, 9-1/4 hours), 👍👍👍

A Thousand Times Yes: Two Doctors Who Answered God's Call by Wana Ann G. Fort with Kim P. Davis - An uplifting missionary story of a life of faith, family, and fortitude. 183 pages, 👍👍👍

The Joy of Falling by Lindsay Harrel - Two women attempt a marathon race to raise money in memory of their deceased adventurous husbands. 336 pages (I listened on Hoopla, 10 hours), 👍👍👍-1/2

Hope is the First Dose: A Treatment Plan for Recovering from Trauma, Tragedy and Other Massive Things by Dr. W. Lee Warren - After his son was stabbed to death, Dr. Warren sought to discern what keeps people from bouncing back after tragedy and traumatic events of life. He logically explains, with great personal illustrations, how important hope is in the process of healing. 260 pages, 👍👍👍👍-1/2

The Telephone Box Library by Rachael Lucas - A frazzled history teacher turns up in a Cotswolds village and strikes up friendship and love, finding her place in the community. 391 pages, 👍👍👍

The Tenth Mistake of Hank Hooperman by Gennifer Choldenko - Hank Hooperman hates making mistakes. He's made quite a few, but his worst one yet is the tenth one on his list: "Trusted my mother." 306 pages, 👍👍👍👍-1/2

Reminders of Sweetness Amid the Sour

My beloved prodigal is approaching a special birthday - 2 decades of life. For him, this is an accomplishment as he has done much to challenge this landmark. Indeed, I wonder if he is a cat, with the requisite nine lives. He has "slipped the noose" repeatedly and this wears on my emotional reserves. My husband cannot bear to look at sweet photos from the past in the midst of our current crisis. However, I needed the reminder of his sweetness and a dozen or so years that were free from the scourge of drug use. God gifted Trevor into our lives almost 20 years ago, and despite much sorrow, grief, and discouragement, I will fix my eyes on the many blessings his life has provided us.

I'm not a photographer. I don't often capture images. Thus, I scoured my blog, grateful for this catalog of memories that I sometimes fail to bring forth. Trevor has always been bright, creative, funny, and thoughtful. I found numerous examples of personalized cards he made for me (often with poetry). Ever artistic (here's art from age 10), he created images paired with sentiments he knew would touch my heart. While the cards are lost in the pack-rat detritus of my life, I can look back on my blog and enjoy the sentiments, the art, and the boy behind these kind gestures.

In my earliest photos of Trevor (from 2008), he was almost constantly in super hero attire. Indeed, on one visit to the library, they pulled me aside and gave me a large stuffed Spiderman. They were purging it from the library possessions and wanted to pass it along to the young boy who always came in dressed as Spiderman.

In 2009, we added our first dog, Harley, to the mix and Trev was very fond of him:

Mid-2009, he cut his own hair (worried it might be too long like his 13-year-old brother's hair):

In November of 2009, I captured this sweet and hilarious video of Trevor reciting The Lord's Prayer. He had learned this in his Christian preschool class. During the recitation, he accidentally burped, then cracked up when I exclaimed that I didn't remember that as part of the prayer.

In 2010, Trev got ahold of a blow torch and singed his bangs off (like I said, his guardian angel works overtime!) - go here to read the whole story and my funny friend Laura's quip in reaction to the tale):

That same year, Trev set up shop selling us his artwork and, in the fall, began kindergarten:

Looking at the photo above, reminds me of another guardian angel moment (on this day his jeans caught in the bike chain and, unable to stop, he zoomed across our street - where cars often speed past at 40-50 mph - safely and miraculously landing on the grass across the street).

In 2011, he went for a brief visit with grandma and found his granddad's war helmet, rode the zipline at CBLI, and became interested in football:

In 2013, we continued to enjoy the zipline at camp:

In 2015, Trevor and I took a special spring break trip to visit with my parents in Florida. He caught a lizard and set him free (despite accidentally severing his tail):

In 2017, he proudly displayed a fish catch at CBLI:

This was also the age of his bottle-flipping stage and in spring of 2018, he created this hilarious basketball spoof video:

The last two photos are from the cusp of our problems with Trevor, when he broke his leg during the first football game of his 8th grade season:

(This is another photo that stirs intense gratitude. We praise God that He spared Trevor's life and the lives of others near the accident that totaled the truck recently.)

It is good to reminisce over the sweeter days amid ones that leave a sour taste in our mouths. We are grateful for the prayers of so many, lifting Trevor before the Lord. I anxiously await his return to the sweet person he was prior to this departure into drug use and rebellion. May God help us cling to Him when timing doesn't speed along Trevor's recovery and return. May the guardian angels, who have prevented numerous perils in the past, continue to protect him.

We love you, Trevor! Don't ever forget it! We long to see you healed of this addiction, but you are a gift, even amid the pain!