Book Review: Telling Secrets

A short time ago, Cardiogirl did a post on meeting famous people. I have actually had the privilege of meeting several famous people, so I enjoyed commenting on her post and one of the names I dropped was that of Frederick Buechner. The first time I ever heard this author's name was when Mary Dorsett, the wife of my boss, Dr. Lyle Dorsett, came over from Wheaton College's Special Collections where she worked, to tell us excitedly that she had just secured the writings of Frederick Buechner for Wheaton's special collections. Given her enthusiasm, I should have headed to the library to check out some of his books then and there, but I was a busy college student and so I merely made note of the name.

Not too long after that, I heard that this distinguished author was coming to Wheaton to teach an 8 week course on "Religion in Literature." Even at that time, I didn't fully recognize what a grand opportunity I was about to experience. I signed on for the course and after the first class, went home to write in my journal about the many other students who were taking the course with me. It was a fabulous class. Buechner assigned approximately a book a week and we spent the class sessions in animated discussion. He did not lecture. He did not give tests. He required only class participation and a final paper to sum up what we had gained from our reading.

We read some incredible books together and it sparked a lot of deep discussion among several of us. In fact, the following summer, I was still corresponding with other students about books we had discussed with Buechner and other books that his syllabus had led us to. Would that I could duplicate now the hours of intellectual stimulation I received in college discussing various pieces of literature.

I have several Buechner books in my own collection; some I have read, some I merely own and intend to read ... some day. Apparently, the Cardiogirl home (or should I call it an empire? - seems fitting) contains every single book published by Frederick Buechner, because her husband is a big fan of his writing. He actually wrote me a letter asking me to provide details from the class (this is where keeping a journal really comes in handy) and ended up encouraging me to read Buechner's memoir, Telling Secrets, because Buechner actually mentions his experience of teaching at Wheaton College.

End of back story, on to the review: I thoroughly enjoyed this brief, entrancing book. Buechner tells some of his secrets (his father's alcoholism and suicide, his daughter's struggle with anorexia, and his own role in creating a climate for her anorexia to flourish). We all have secrets and we all are torn between the desire to bring them to light and to keep them hidden. Thus, my friend, Guilty Secret and her blog. And, I even found another blog based on some Buechner quotes. She pared down this quote, considerably; I felt I could not.

Buechner writes: "It is important to tell ... the secret of who we truly and fully are ... because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier that way to see where we have been ... and where we are going. It also makes it easier for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own.... Finally, I suspect that it is by entering that deep place inside us where our secrets are kept that we come perhaps closer than we do anywhere else to the One who, whether we realize it or not, is of all our secrets the most telling and the most precious we have to tell."

Although I did enjoy reading the bits about his experience teaching my class, the far bigger impact from this book was how affirmed I felt at the end of reading it. He made it clear that it is entirely human to have stuff (baggage) we don't want to share with everyone, stuff we might be ashamed to admit, stuff that gets in the way of relating easily with one another. He also made it clear that sometimes the answers we are looking for lead us back to the mystery of God. I still wrestle with God from time to time. Buechner reminds me that I'm not the only one wrestling and that, perhaps, the issues I wrestle most over are things which God has allowed in my life specifically for the benefit of wrestling and experiencing His grace.

One of the other lines I loved in this book hooked me because of the pleasure of one word. He wrote, "tatterdemalion crowd though we were..." I love the word tatterdemalion. I love the image. I am the image. I am part of that tatterdemalion crowd and I am one of those whom God still speaks to in all the STUFF of my life.