Resolution and Redemption

I don't often make resolutions, mostly because I don't often keep resolutions. Thus, it seems rather pointless to set out with an intention if you know your abysmal track record for making intentions reality. But, this year I've jumped on the band wagon again, primarily because my writer's group set about to articulate goals for this year. I think I also took that plunge because of the life lessons learned from my recent trip. I'm still in that mode of approaching hard things because I know they will reap growth and even when change and challenge seem daunting, I don't want to shrink back out of fear (as I almost did with my solo European trip this past November).

I spent several weeks agonizing over what my writing goals for 2018 should be. I was so torn between making them reasonable and shooting for the moon that I wrote down two separate lists. I figure I can tackle each list in turn. If I achieve the simpler goals from the first list, I can push on into the more intense goals.

The first year I attempted the Nanowrimo goal of writing 50,000 words within the space of a month, I had a blogging friend, Cardiogirl, who participated as well. I should credit much of my success to her. I had access, through the Nanowrimo website, to follow her stats and will admit that when she pressed into the challenge and made a giant spurt of writing, it inspired me to keep up and make my own strides. I might not have reached my end goal without her traversing beside me, helping to set my pace and encouraging me to keep running when I wanted to walk.

This year, my writing group will be a sort of accountability partner for me. I dutifully read aloud my goals (although I hope I didn't discourage a few of the others who hadn't even known that goals were on the agenda and were, thus, making their goals off-the-cuff). By posting them here, I figure I have even more accountability because, come December, I will have to answer to myself on this forum for what I have invested and pursued.

Conservative goals:

1. Attend some sort of conference/writing workshop and meet with editors/agents
2. Send out at least ten queries
3. Revise and polish my travel memoir (the most recent November project)
4. Do daily morning writing of 2 pages free-association writing
5. Read The Portable MFA in Creative Writing and at least three other writing books

Lofty goals:

1. Send twenty queries
2. Revise and polish travel memoir and pitch it to five agents
3. Read 5 additional writing books
4. Get something published in 2018, even if it is just a devotional/essay in a magazine
5. Secure an agent before the end of 12/18

Another thing I've watched from the sidelines is the practice of selecting one word to focus on for the year. I've never before joined in all the reindeer games, but this year I feel strongly prompted internally to select the phrase "Nothing Wasted." (My blogging friend, Catherine, of A Spirited Mind, often selects phrases instead of words and always articulates her motivation so well, as evidenced in this post about her current word-of-the-year, along with some previous words/phrases she selected.)

The phrase "nothing wasted" comes from a song we sing at our annual Salvation Army Bible camp, CBLI. Written by Eric Himes (son of Bill Himes, who penned another beautiful song I've claimed in a previous blog post) together with Phil Laeger, it speaks of a desire for God to use everything within our lives for His purposes and to redeem every tiny aspect. I've long been a fan of redemption stories (even attempted to write one myself a few years back) and truly want my life to be a clear redemption story to others who see it/read it.

Here are to words to the song:

"Let nothing be wasted,

Not a pain nor a tear,

Not a wound of my heart,

Every lingering fear.

Shape the doubts of my soul

Into prayers you will hear,
Oh Lord, let nothing,
nothing be wasted.

Let nothing be wasted,

Not a burden within,

When I face temptation,

Every fight against sin.

Lord, I come to you now,

For the freedom you give,
Oh Lord, let nothing,
nothing be wasted.

We are pressed but not crushed,

Persecuted, not abandoned.

Struck down but not destroyed.

Oh my soul, take heart

In the trial, in the sorrow

For He has overcome the world.

Let nothing be wasted,

The space in between

The waiting and answers

For a vision not seen.

Let my restless heart know

Your unburdening peace,
Oh Lord, let nothing,
nothing be wasted.

You can go to this You Tube link to hear Eric's group, The Singing Company, sing it (due to be released on an album in March).

It sounds like a dangerous phrase to build my year on. If I focus on "Nothing Wasted," what further trials will God bring to suck the marrow from? Yet, it continues to linger on the periphery of my vision, persistently calling to me as something I should claim. Certainly, in my writing life, I want nothing wasted. All the previous difficulties and trials He has brought me through have been for a purpose and even if they only serve to refine me to be more like Christ, that will be enough, but I long for them to go even further and flesh out into productive, meaningful writing to share with someone else loaded down with burdens.

I'm not begging to be pressed, persecuted, or struck down. I don't relish the idea of further trials or sorrows, but I know that hard place between the waiting and the answers and I am committed to leaving every tear and pain in the Lord's hands to be used for His glory and my eventual good (My Bible study last week focused on Romans 8:28-39  - verse 28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.") In my writing and in my life, I want to see His redemption. I claim His promise, this year, that nothing will be wasted.