2025 Recap

My writing friend, Amy Weinland Daughters, posted this hilarious spoof on the goals we set and the ones we actually achieve. I acknowledge my recap post will be somewhat like this. It won't really interest my readers (no offense if you skip it). I'm primarily writing it for personal reflection on my year's goals. 

Hoping to be intentional in 2025, I started a progress file where I tracked various things daily. I kept stats on my exercise, purging, letter-writing, fasting, and (towards the end) writing for publication. Although this was very helpful in many ways, I still failed to be as productive as I would have liked. You can set the goal. You can track the progress. But, you still have to put in the work to have something to write down. Ha! Sadly, I'm not the most disciplined person.

Exercise: I do believe tracking helps me stay committed to exercise. I'm not a huge walker. Many people put in 10,000 steps a day. I'm far too sendentary, but don't see that changing any time soon. Still, I try to get my treadmill time (or outdoor walks) in every morning. I exercised on 90% of the days (327/365) this year. My mileage declined when I got a new and more narrow treadmill. It declined further after I fell on that treadmill. Still, I walked over 400 miles and averaged 1.25 miles. As I threw out my 2024-2025 planner, I noted that in 2024 I consistently walked 295 out of 366 days (81% of days) for 472-1/3 miles (ave. 1.6 miles). Of course, that was when I was trying to lose weight for my son's wedding.

Purging: I'm a hoarder. I've always admitted this freely. However, I really had hoped to be more successful in my purging efforts. There are so many negative emotions associated with purging. While I enjoyed going through the minutia of past letters and school files, the actual process of getting rid of many items was draining. My year-end total was 102-2/3 hours. I only worked on purging for 51% [186/365] days. On those days, I averaged 33 minutes/day. It is better than nothing, but still feels like diddly-squat. Now that my husband has reduced the estimated time we have left living in this home, I'm wishing I had been far more diligent. May was a total wash, as was December. February was my most productive month (24 hours of purging in 25/28 days).

Fasting: My goal was to fast every Monday in 2025. I only missed the Monday of the spring break trip and the Monday of our 35th anniversary, but I made up for those dates by fasting on another day in those weeks. At the beginning, I started slowly with partial days (fasting until 2 p.m., then 4 p.m., then 6 p.m., then 8 p.m.). But in February, I aimed for mostly full days. By the end of the year, I had fasted 54 days (21 partial days and 33 full days). 

I am not well-suited for fasting. It was difficult in the usual ways, but was also difficult emotionally. It seemed like the full day fasts left me overwhelmed with despair rather than trust. As I poured out my groanings over difficult situations in our family/friends' lives, the focus on the darkness of our tunnel drowned out the consolation of the light God offers. I think, in my clinical depression, I struggle with staying positive and observing the light more than the darkness. I'm a glass half-empty kinda gal. 

Struggles with our prodigal, family tensions, the loss of my mother and subsequent new love my father is fixated on, health questions, the state of our world... it gets to be too much. I think I would have done far better if I had spent my fasting time in singing scriptural promises rather than outlining the various weights and burdens we carry. If I had it to do over again (and I'm not planning on this rigorous fasting in 2026), I would have taken more of the approach I used with my 2023 prayer project. I would incorporate scripture, pray for requests but also praise for answers, and spend more time focused on God's enduring attributes than on the encompassing obstacles before us.  

Writing: I'm not sure I kept accurate records for correspondence. I mostly charted letters sent by snail mail or from my personal email. By not recording letters sent from my author email, I know these stats are incomplete. In all, I mailed 21 letters or packages (sometimes with my book), and sent 51 personal emails.

The biggest victory was resuming writing projects after a stroke of luck with my first goal in September of just putting in 20 minutes finding markets. I wrote and submitted 2 pieces in September (1 of those was published in a digital magazine). I spent 12 hours writing on 13/30 days in that month. In October, I worked on writing research for 100 minutes. I worked on 2 separate projects on 15/31 days for a total of 11.5 hours (8786 words). In November, I spent an hour on writing research. I participated in the Rabbit Room's Poem-a-Day challenge, completing 20 poems from the 30 prompts. Plus, I started a non-fiction book project, working on 22/30 days for a total of 23-1/3 hours (24,867 words). This was nowhere close to the 50 thousand-plus words of Novembers past, but still an accomplishment. Then, as soon as Thanksgiving hit, I petered out to 1 writing day and 1 day reviewing the non-fiction work to date.

I set out to fast and pray, and to purge hoarded belongings. I suppose I met those goals, but wish I had done far better. If only I had known, at the outset of the year, that my husband hopes to move by fall of 2026. Yikes!

For the coming year, I'm not setting hard and fast goals (quantitative goals). At the end of 2025, I read an outstanding essay on Substack by Suleika Jaouad, called "Against Resolutions." The author argues that rituals are more effective than resolutions. "Where resolutions chase outcomes, rituals attend to process." Resolutions lead to all-or-nothing thinking. Michael Bierut said it is like walking a tightrope, where peril increases with each step, until you become convinced you'll never make it across. 

The author ends with this observation, "That's what ritual gives me now. Not a guarantee, not an outcome, not a transformation on a deadline, but a means of staying in motion without hardening, to keep my balance without gripping so tightly... no grand reinvention here--only the patient work of showing up, again and again, nudging myself millimeter by millimeter toward the person I'm becoming."

While I think I've already been focused on ritual, this year I am leaning into 3 words (not an annual word, but a word progression):

WATCH 🠊 WITNESS 🠊 SPREAD

WATCH, as in the sense of expectant anticipation. I want to watch for the return of Christ. I want to watch for God's intervention in our lives (and especially in the life of my prodigal son).

"The end of all things is at hand; be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer." - 1 Peter 4:7

"Therefore let us not sleep, as others; but let us watch and be sober." - 1 Thessalonians 5:6

"Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving." - Colossians 4:2

"Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man." - Luke 21:36

WITNESS, as in what you see when you watch. I want to witness God's moving and transforming power.

"Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today." - Exodus 14:13

WITNESS, as in give a testimony of the gospel's power transforming my life. I want to seize more opportunities (whatever He gives) to share my faith.

"Shew how great things God hath done unto thee." - Luke 8:39

"And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all." - Acts 4:33

"And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death." - Revelation 12:11

SPREAD, as in disseminate God's Word into the world. I started this year's devotions adding a book by Cheryl Ford, called Triumphs of the Heart: The Pursuit of Joyful Living. In one of the first sections, she considers the watchful heart of Anna in the Bible. From this chapter, I found my verse for 2026:

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him." - 2 Corinthians 2:14

Book Review: A Marriage at Sea

A Marriage at Sea, a survival biography by Sophie Elmhirst, offers a fascinating look at circumstances that challenged a young British couple. The author divides the book into four sections. Section one focuses on this intrepid couple's courtship and voyage. Section two outlines their survival at sea after their yacht sinks. The third section covers the popular obsession with their rescue tale and the unique challenges of their rise to fame. In the final section, the couple moves on from the spotlight and must live out their days.

Maurice and Maralyn Bailey, two unique and interesting individuals, don't seem like a perfect match. He is awkward and unsociable. She is optimistic and independent. It is unusual that they end up together. Even more unusual, their differing personalities mesh and work when life throws significant challenges their way.

Maurice is hard to like, making Maralyn's devotion hard to understand. What a tale of contrasts! Maralyn is optimistic. She clings to the hope of reaching the Galapagos. Maurice, knowing about winds and currents, despairs. The author writes that Maurice "found himself wondering if they had enough gas in the canister to kill themselves." Maralyn encourages him to keep rowing, while he considers her delusional. She never questions their survival. Being alone at sea causes Maurice to contemplate his personality, his rough edges. He sincerely wants to be different. But is he capable of changing?

The book read like fiction. I enjoyed the first three sections. Although I couldn't understand their wanderlust (or their comfort with life at sea), it was fascinating. Sad to say, if in their shoes, I'd be more like Maurice, losing hope and giving in to despair. I loved watching how Maralyn's optimism bolstered Maurice's defeat. The rescue was riveting. The whirlwind media blitz was exhausting (almost more daunting than surviving life in the elements at sea).

I found section four depressing. Still, it was a provocative and gripping tale of personalities tested by trial. I appreciated the author's expansion, likening this survival tale to every marriage relationship. We are all tossed about in a dinghy, trying to survive the elements and waves of life together. We can make each other stronger, or we can pull each other down. Thus, I found much to contemplate from this intriguing survival story. Despite a scoffing tone toward faith, the book's outline of relational struggles encouraged me to contemplate my own faults. I want to be beneficial, not detrimental, in my relationships. 

I end this review with an illustration from the book. The author shares the story of a downed plane. The pilot left to seek help, only to return and find the two passengers dead. Elmhirst writes, "Able only to sit and wait, what could they do but die? It is not so much the feats of endurance that keep people alive as the absence of surrender. Maurice, lacking occupation, became desolate. There was no evidence to convince him that survival was likely, and he found it hard to believe in things he couldn't see. What was the point of trying?" May we strive to be like the pilot and Maralyn, focusing on hopes for the future, instead of fixing on frustrations and limitations of the present. 

Book Review: Holy Habits

I love to start the new year reading books about values and living out those values, about habits and improving one's habits. I can't remember how I stumbled upon Noah Herrin's Holy Habits: 10 Small Decisions That Lead to a Big Life. Perhaps it was suggested to me from Hoopla (I listened on my library's Hoopla account). I'm not a fan of the subtitle. I guess I'm not really looking for a "big life." Instead, I'm interested in nurturing holiness and deepening my walk with God. Quibbles over the subtitle aside, I think the book holds some value. It provides a sufficient pep talk to set sights on habits of holiness and consider our impact in the world. The insights are fairly standard and delivered with some humor.

Do others see Jesus living inside of us? That's the key question. Is our life different because of Him? So what are the 10 "holy habits" Herrin wishes to nurture in the reader?

1. Seek and obey the Bible
2. Don't run from God when you mess up (repent and return to God)
3. Pray often - Herrin suggests praying in 1-minute increments throughout your day
4. Observe a Sabbath
5. Be content
6. Seek a coach for discipleship
7. Seek to disciple someone else
8. Get comfortable with silence so God can speak
9. Be a team player in a local church
10. Feel and express gratitude

Herrin hopes the reader will practice these habits to develop deeper intimacy with God. I want to seek purposeful habits that embrace God. Thankfully, I already incorporate much of this. My prayer life goes beyond 1-minute increments. (I am not disparaging this encouragement. In our current world, any increase in prayer will deepen one's relationship with God and spur change where it is desperately needed.) Could I spend more time in silence, listening for God? Certainly. Is it a struggle to remain content when I watch my son stray or when things don't go as I believe God wants? Yes, indeed. Plus, I'm sure my outlook would improve if I embraced gratitude more intentionally during my day.

There are two habits I struggle with and could pursue more: local church involvement and discipleship. The church we attend is my husband's choice. I long for a church focused on drawing unbelievers with greater variety than a hymn-only stance, and with words that inspire a deeper relationship with God, more than accentuating the deep chasm between God and man. I think of where my son is at and know he would feel like an outsider. Indeed, I often feel I don't belong, with my enjoyment of modern worship and Christian writers to supplement my Bible reading. Perhaps my struggle comes from growing up in The Salvation Army with a founder who believed we should "Go for sinners and go for the worst!" I thoroughly appreciate their commitment to seek and obey God's Word. Too many churches water down God's Word in their effort to reach the lost. Yet, I continue to struggle. While I wish to support my husband's leadership, I long for a church that pursues attraction more than condemnation, and freedom more than rigidity. The God I love and serve is not limited to a fixed avenue of communication. "I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. And this I do for the gospel's sake." [1 Corinthians 9:22-23]

I also could pursue discipleship more. While I believe I touch the lives of others through my involvement in Bible Study Fellowship (my weekly Bible study group), is that really enough? Would I benefit from finding someone to mentor and disciple me? I'm sure. Yet, I seek friends rather than spiritual/life advisors. Perhaps not everyone is in a place of discipling or being discipled. Does the lack of discipleship mean an individual is not following hard after God? I don't think so. Still, I will consider these suggestions and strive for holy habits that deepen my walk with the Lord. I want to become so like Him, that others see Him, instead of me!

Book Review: The Intentional Year

This book, The Intentional Year, by Glenn and Holly Packiam, argues that fruitfulness comes from intentionality. The Packiams take retreats to plan how they want to live in the various spheres of their lives (prayer, rest, renewal, relationships, and work) in the coming days. They take time away to connect and process, to reflect and plan, to inventory what they’ve been given and what they feel called to do, and to shape a vision together. 

This idea appeals to me. However, my husband doesn’t share my enthusiasm. I proposed it and could tell it wasn’t something he desired. Sad. Of course, I can be intentional myself. This is what I do when I plan a project each year.

In the reflection section (unintentional rhyme - ha), they speak of St. Ignatius’ Prayer of Examen. It begins by sitting in silence for 3 minutes, allowing the Holy Spirit to speak. Next, reflect on the past year (mountains, valleys, joys, issues). They recommend finding something to express gratitude for in each month of the previous year. This is like setting up memorial stones for how God has carried you. Another part of the process of reflection is repentance. I’m sure I would benefit from reflecting on what God may have been trying to teach me through the struggles of our past year and in what areas God wishes me to grow.

In a section on praying, they suggest an acronym I had not heard before: PRAY, pause, rejoice, ask, yield. They also recommended the Lectio 365 app, something other friends have suggested to me. In a section on rest, they remind that “if you want the land to be fruitful, you have to let it rest.” In the section on work, they offer an insight that reminded me of a Frederick Buechner quote about finding your purpose. Your mission lies at the intersection of God’s glory, the world’s good, and your joy.

As they challenge readers to live intentionally, they offer these questions to ask the Lord: “Who are you calling me to be? What season am I in?” and “What rhythms do you want for me?” Another question to ask at the end of each day is, “Lord, where did I fail to engage with you today?” Each question aids in creating a big-picture vision for your life. I read this book in December, a prime time for approaching a new year, new season, and new opportunity to carve out space for God’s plans for my life with intentionality.

Mid-month Mention: Amazing Bible Project

Something mind-boggling, outstanding, and inspiring jumped out at me on Facebook the other day. I saw it in the Rabbit Room Chinwag. The poster was trying to acquire more of  the now-defunct buff-color White-Out. I am sharing several photos (taken from FB) because the idea of this Bible transcription project blows me away! I would so love to make this a daily practice in the coming years, but I must think long and hard to determine if I can be dedicated and disciplined enough. In this first photo, Jessica Culver shares her accomplishment and her dilemma:

Many people responded with questions, so Jessica posted a longer explanation of how she went about transcribing the entire Bible in 7 years (12 verses per day):

Here is a photo of the refuse and result of her efforts:

I have already been transcribing 2-4 verses daily with the Homespun Wife Scripture Writing Group. Moreover, I've had the time-investment and discipline of praying 3 times a day for my Facebook friends in my 2023 Prayer Project that carried over into 2024. My handwriting is atrocious! This would tax my wrist and hand more (multiplying the number of verses per day). But I can think of no better replacement for my prayer project. 

There is great blessing in being in the Word. Even greater blessing in hiding God's Word in your heart. I'm not tremendous at verse memorization. I can remember the words, but struggle with identifying the address (location in the Bible). The process of writing it out, reading it aloud, and storing it away should help memorization. I'm convinced the days are coming when every believer will wish they had God's Word tucked deep enough in their minds and hearts to call forth when needed.

I will pray over this for the next few weeks. It would be awful to begin something, only to abandon it when it feels too hard. If this sounds interesting to you, let me know. Perhaps, if I do take on this project, we could help hold each other accountable. Regardless of if anyone else duplicates this amazing Bible project, my heart lifted just in reading Jessica's account. I praise her dedication and her desire to begin again and complete another transcription by her 40th birthday. What a fantastic way to honor God and hide His Word in your heart!

Book Review: Reset

Perhaps it is because I am involved in counseling at the moment. Or perhaps it is because starting a new year often triggers a desire to turn over new leaves. My new leaf involves slimming down for my son's upcoming wedding in September. It is really driven by a second goal, though; I am fearful of being diagnosed with diabetes or heart issues (my dad struggles with both). And third, I am determined to forge healthier relationships. Those are my reasons for seeking Debra Fileta's book, Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. And that is why, after completing this book (similar to what I did with Gary Thomas' books), I checked it out again in e-book form, so I could take notes and digest more fully the wisdom within the pages.

Reset begins with this premise: "Thoughts lead to feelings; feelings lead to behavior." The book structure follows a month-long process to alter old patterns that fail to serve well. Fileta outlines 31 steps to take in this process, things like pause, acknowledge, decide, and plan. Last year, my goal was to pray more. I learned how important the planning process was in making that behavioral change. As Fileta observes, "The success or failure of your ability to act on your desire for change hinges on how much you've prepared for it.... Wanting it badly enough won't magically get you to a better place... you're going to have to spend some time preparing." In order to be intentional, I created prayer cards for each individual, cataloguing every need and request. I set aside 3 times a day to focus on those cards and individuals. This year, I'm trying to be intentional, as well. I track my food intake, my fitness activity, my water consumption, and my intermittent fasting hours.

I know I need to tackle a few steps outlined. She recommends identifying your default mode and negative thoughts, then doing it differently. I will need to spend plenty of time on practice 11: Call out the lies. The last steps all include self-care practices like finding mind/body outlets, filling yourself up (physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually), unplugging, resting, and breathing. My biggest challenge will be to tackle practice 29: connect with God and others. Connecting with God will be easy; connecting with others is something I find more challenging. Just as I learned years ago in my phone life-coaching with Mike, I need to repair some of the missing social spokes.

I wanted to take the Holmes/Rahe Life Stress Inventory the author mentioned as available on her website, but I could not find it. It would be interesting to assess my stress levels. She also mentioned a book I would like to seek, Holy Noticing, by Charles Stone. Not sure if I can find that and doubt I want to purchase it. If you are attempting to meet new goals this year, Reset just might help you tackle and change patterns of behavior that hold you back.

2023 FB Prayer Project Progress

Today, May 4th, 2023, is the observed National Day of Prayer. What better time to provide an update on my ongoing 2023 Facebook Prayer Project inspired by Amy Weinland Daughters' book, Dear Dana. (Gold medal winner in the Nautilus Book Awards for memoir) I'm so grateful for stumbling upon Amy's book and for the structure her project lends to mine. I'm now 1/3 through the year and my goal of praying for my Facebook friends. By the end of this week, I will have prayed for 144 individuals.

I have petitioned God's throne for surgeries (breast cancer removal, ACL, and hip replacement), childbirth, and court cases. I have prayed for healing from childhood abuse, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. It has been my privilege to intervene for job concerns and pet losses, for prodigals and missionaries, for course completion and foster parenting. Many praises are trickling in: a child's new job in London, a safe delivery of a first grandchild, and peace in the midst of a horrible-no-good-week.

Settling into a structure has certainly helped to attain my goal of reading less and praying more. Every Wednesday, I draw 8 slips from my bag of Facebook friends' names and alert them to my upcoming week of prayer for them. Next, I take what I know (some respond, but for many, I must scour their wall to find information to lead me) and select a scripture verse to pray for each individual for the rest of that week. Every Saturday, I send a message (a month out) reminding them that they were prayed for and alerting them to the verse I selected to accompany my prayers. This is also when I offer to place needs on an ongoing prayer list and request any information they can give about answered prayer.

I have a set routine. I pray for each individual using a 3x5 card with information including family names of spouses, children, and grandchildren, in addition to any specific prayer requests shared. For some (if hard to glean information) it is hard to fill the time, but I shoot for 3 to 5 minutes per person, 3 times each day (before my morning devotions, some time after noon, and prior to bedtime). Since many do not give any specifics, I have developed two lists of guided prayer topics. When I was using one list of ten topics, my prayers felt too rote and repetitive. Although I originally intended to fast while praying, once a week, I only managed to maintain that for a brief time. Sob!

It is surprising how often my prayers for others' needs reminds me of my own need for the same request. I am equally astonished by the depth some are willing to share and the silence of some I thought would reply. How comforting to know that even when I don't know the details I should provide in my prayers, God is aware of the needs of each individual. And for everyone, I pray that God would bring them into relationship with Him and deepen whatever trust and belief they may already hold. It has been a privilege. The time I've spent has been far more valuable than the time I would've devoted to reading. May you lift prayers to the Father today and may He answer in His perfect wisdom and impeccable timing. Praise God, He is never too soon and never too late.

2022 Ends, 2023 Begins

The best part of our 2022 holiday season was a visit from our oldest son, Bryce. 

(I never think to take photos - this is the only photo we got during his visit.)

Since he lives near Dallas, Texas, we don't see him as often as we'd like. He intended to fly in late on Thursday, December 22nd. As news of the impending Midwest storm intensified, we worried about his travel and our travel to pick him up from the airport (30 minute highway drive away). He thanked me for alerting him to this wrinkle early on, before the masses were scrambling to change their flights. He secured a place on a Wednesday flight and worked from our home on Thursday.

Then our concern shifted to Trevor. He had to work from 4-10:30 on Thursday and they were predicting 3-5 inches of snow, drifting from gusting winds, and sub-freezing temperatures. He travels a long stretch of country roads on his way home from work and I was terrified that he would get stranded between drifts and freeze to death (yes, my mind always goes to the worst-case scenario). I prayed fervently that they would close early. Praise God, they closed at 5. He helped shut everything down and was safely home by 7 p.m.

The storm brought wicked cold temperatures. Bryce (accustomed to Texas weather) was wearing multiple layers and kept the guest room blazing hot - ha! Poor Toby! At first, he refused to go out to do his business. Then, we remembered last year's great gift of the matching "cool dog" and "cool dog dad" socks. Once we put those on him, he went out willingly. Isn't he adorable?

Friday morning, I woke to find frozen kitchen sink pipes. John had left the cabinet doors open and the sink dripping, but had left it dripping on the cold side, not thinking about the fact that we have separate cold and hot pipes leading to the faucet. Using a blow dryer for many minutes restored our hot water. Unfortunately, I ran the dishwasher without thinking that pipe/hose might have frozen too. The machine ran with no water. Praise God, my mistake didn't damage it. Once temperatures warmed up, it functioned perfectly again.

This was, perhaps, the most expensive December we have faced. Of course, the older your children get, the more expensive the gifts seem to be. But we had additional expenses compounding this. Sean's birthday is two days after Christmas and he requested a newer X-box. Plus, Trevor graduated early from high school and we purchased him a new laptop as his graduation gift. We had promised him a car stereo system for his birthday but didn't get around to purchasing this until December. Add in several cars in the shop for repairs (does this ever end?) and we felt like we were financially hemorrhaging. Still, we count our blessings.

Notable gifts or deals: Trevor bought me a lovely Bible cover, Bryce got me a much-needed phone mount for my car (plus a requested book), and John also gifted requested books, chocolates, and an 8-quart crock pot (not sure I'll keep the crock pot - it was so thoughtful to get the larger size, but most of the recipes I follow don't have sufficient liquid ingredients to cook effectively in the larger size - will have to think long and hard).

The best deals were for Bryce. I snagged a $30 Purdue cooler in Target's clearance for only $7.50. Although there were bigger purchases (sheets, dress pants, restaurant gift card, Purdue baseball cap), my best deal was on a second hand golf set. After several Facebook Marketplace sellers fell through, I happened upon someone selling a neutral color golf bag (why do so many men choose awful colors like red for their golf bags??) with 9 clubs, some tees, and a small bag of golf balls - all that for $15. Since Bryce only golfs here once or twice a year, it seemed pointless to purchase a brand new golf set.

The worst deal was a five-year planner I purchased on Amazon for John. Isn't the cover lovely?

Alas, the inside held horrible spacing (too small to jot daily notes) and misspellings:

Thankfully, I snagged two other splendid gifts for him - this bird lamp was a big hit:

And he loved the squirrel t-shirt:

Bryce's travel plans were once again up in the air at the end of his visit. It turned out he had a Southwest flight home and Southwest was cancelling thousands of flights. He couldn't afford to wait to see if they cancelled his flight. He felt an urgency to get home, so he left a day early, rented a car, and drove the 13 hours back to Dallas. His week-long visit was a blessing.

Another unexpected blessing during the holidays happened for Trevor. I noticed someone on NextDoor needing help with moving. They offered to pay and, even though we didn't know what the pay scale would be, it was on Friday afternoon when Trevor didn't work. He agreed, and the man contacted Trevor, offering him $25 an hour for six hours of work. When the scheduled Friday arrived, rain prompted them to begin early and Trevor arrived to find they already had all the help they needed. This gracious man paid Trevor the agreed $150. What a gift! Trevor told him that wasn't necessary, but the man insisted. We later sent a small oven glove with cookie mix to thank him for his generosity.

The end of a year always brings thoughts of resolutions and focus words. For 2023, I hope to actually read less (yes, my blog may suffer) and pray more. But I wanted to be intentional about this. After reading Amy Weinland Daughters' book, Dear Dana, I yearned to connect with my Facebook friends. Thus, I have set in motion my 2023 Prayer Project. Like Amy, I placed the names of my Facebook friends in a bag. A week before the year began, I alerted my friends on Facebook, promising to give them a heads up so they can communicate specific prayer requests. I drew the first 8 names and placed their name slips (with number) on 3x5 note cards. 

My plan is to pray for 3 to 5 minutes for each individual three times a day (with my morning devotions, in the afternoon, and just before bed). Even if they don't provide specific requests, I will beg for God's blessing, guidance, and love in their lives. So, my word for 2023 is PRAY. May I stand in the gap for close and distant friends. And if my blog posts taper off, know that I'm not reading because I'm busy interceding.

Book Review: Romans 13 and Covid 19 - Highly Recommend

If you are a believer, a child of the one true King, you must ask yourself: Is this a spiritual war we are in, or a health war? What is the true nature of the battle? And what would God have me do in response to the developments in our world at the present time? Don't be one of the wedding guests who failed to bring enough oil for their lantern (Matthew 25). 

Some guests use the argument, "God's got it all under control. I'm just going to leave it in His capable hands." Is that a cop-out for actively looking for His coming and doing His will? God is very clear in his instruction to be alert, to stay awake and ready for the return of Christ. I want to be ready at the trumpet call. Will you be?

Now is the time to be seeking His will in His Word. Guidance is available if you will avail yourself of it! Don't leave it on the shelf gathering dust. The day is nigh and you will not want to be left behind.

Now is the time to be in prayer. Seek His covering for you and your family. Seek His wisdom for how to respond to every ratcheting development. Seek His inspiration to remain courageous in the face of those who perpetuate fear.

Now is the time to be fasting. Set aside what hinders and holds you back. Set yourself apart for God's use. Set your mind on things above.

If you are busy with those things, you could not do better than to read this book. It is full of truth and light. I fully intend to go back through it again and watch/listen/read the many footnoted supports given for his perspective. Moreover, if you read this timely treatise, you will gain even more motivation to be in His Word, in prayer, and in fasting. The King is coming! Will He find you sleeping?

Will I Have Enough Resolve?

In December 2013, I posted about a marvelous purchase that has brought tremendous benefits over the years since. My treadmill was a godsend. Although I enjoy walking outdoors, my routine was always sporadic, diminished by cold or wet weather. The only time I remained disciplined was during the month of November when I needed the morning walk to process what I would write about for my National Novel Writing Month task. Once I had the treadmill, my routine solidified to walking 5 or 6 mornings each week.

Sadly, my brisk pace has slowed and my endurance flagged because of knee pain. Enter my newest purchase. I noticed an ad on NextDoor for an Exerpeutic recumbent bike (same brand as my faithful treadmill) for $100. The owner explained that after knee replacement surgery she intended to use it but seldom did (indeed, the accrued mileage was at 240 miles). 

I think my husband fears my intentions will go awry as well. We placed it next to the treadmill so I can still listen to my books on CD while working out. I told him my plan: As long as the knee pain isn't too debilitating, I will continue to walk between 20 and 40 minutes every morning. I will add bike time in the afternoons or evenings. So far, I've only managed 5 minutes increments. Groan. I hope to increase that to ten, fifteen, then twenty. Will my resolve for the bike be the same as for the treadmill? We shall see.

Of course, when spring comes I may want to take to the walking trail they positioned just across from our front meadow (indeed, they plowed through our grass and extended the trail a good 5 or 6 feet into what we thought was our property, but have since figured it must actually be along the accurate property line). 

My husband tells me they plan to curve the path and extend it along our meadow and woods.

One of these days, we'll have people walking directly across from our front door - oh joy! I doubt we'll be able to keep people from trespassing in our woods. So much for our little home oasis being isolated (see About Me).

Analysis/Favorite Reads of 2020

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The general sentiment is "good riddance, 2020!" For many years, I have ended with an annual round-up of between 6 and 10 highly recommended books. This year, I noticed that I only "Highly Recommended" four (one grown-up novel, two middle-grade novels, and one non-fiction title - although it was quasi-fictional, if you ask me). One might get the impression that it was a less-than-stellar reading year, but the overall analysis paints a different picture. It was certainly a different year, but out of 79 books, only 6 were disappointing. I'd say 73 three to five star books represents a good year. While the majority were average (3 to 3-1/2 star), a whopping 30 made between 4 and 5 stars. So, despite a lack of enthusiasm for specific ones, I'm calling it a worthwhile endeavor. 

I'll get to my five favorites in a bit, but for now, I want to review what the reading year looked like. I seemed to lean toward non-fiction. Hmm, was I having a hard time submerging myself into artificial lives when reality registered a bit too harsh? 51 (65 %) of the books I read were non-fiction, while only 28 (35%) were fiction. In non-fiction, 27 titles were biography or memoir. In fiction, I read 17 grown-up novels, 9 middle-grade novels, and 2 young adult novels. I read far more Christian literature than I have in the past (28% of my reading was Christian). This reflects my suspicions that publishers are forcing authors to fill modern books with garbage, because garbage sells. Groan. It is getting harder and harder to find a clean read. Rather than a true reflection of society, I wonder if it represents an agenda to skew society's mores. I no longer trust the bestseller lists.

In looking at quantity - my year started out slow. I read 10 books in the first quarter, 20 in the second, 23 in the third, and 26 in the fourth. I read 24,541 pages, or about 2045 pages per month. Somehow I devoured more audio books than I ever anticipated (23 or 29%). I registered 230.25 hours in book listening (while I do listen in the car sometimes, this still reflects a lot of treadmill time).

I read a good many by authors I have loved in the past: William Kent Krueger, Leif Enger, Francine Rivers, Fredrik Backman, Rachel Joyce, Kate DiCamillo, Gary D. Schmidt, Lauren Wolk, Bill Bryson, Jordan Raynor, and Erik Larson. Some I expected to love but didn't (Anxious People; The Body: A Guide for Occupants; Raymie, Louisiana, and Beverly). Most lived up to my expectations, though.

So, the big reveal:

My #1 pick: Miss Benson's Beetle - loved, loved, loved it! Loved the characters, loved the quest, loved the redemption!

My #2 pick: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - having been in counseling, I could relate!

Final 3: 

Echo Mountain 

Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy 

This Tender Land 

Goals for 2021: Read smarter, less random selections! Read less, pray more! 

A Backward Glance at my Mother

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One of the tasks I set for myself in the new year was to clear out my email (the goal being to get it down to zero, still not accomplished). Toward the bottom of the list of mail marked new were letters I had saved from all the way back in 2011 written to me by my mother. Of course, most of her letters were read and discarded, but I must have left these in the new file thinking I would get back to them sometime to respond or jot down the titles recommended. Prior to deleting them, I copied them to a small Word file. It was like finding a time capsule:

Tue. March 29, 2011

Dear Wendy:

I was glad to hear there was a possibility of finding the tortellini at Aldi.  I'll have to look.

I'm sorry to hear that Sean and Trevor are sick.  Your statement about Trevor throwing up after having eaten strawberries made me think of when Mark threw up, in Webster Groves, after eating spaghetti (and poor Stella - our babysitter - had to clean it up.)

It amazes me to think of Trevor having his own blog!  He's a bright boy -- much brighter than me -- and I don't doubt he can handle it.

I had to chuckle about John and his medical advice because, yes, that is just like Dad.  Anything I say, he has a diagnosis and a remedy for.

We are leaving for Peoria right after Dad's bowling on Saturday, April 23rd.  That is as much as I'm sure of right now.  I'm not sure when David and Miriam are leaving Peoria or when they actually need us to be there.  I'm thinking we would probably be going through Indianapolis on Easter Sunday but don't know.  We can tell you more later next month and also, we would call you on the phone when we get close so that you can let us know if it's not a good time.  We could always stop in on the way back from Peoria instead, if that's better.

Love you, Wendy!

Mom

Wed, April 6, 2011

Dear Wendy:

Just read your blog!  I just yesterday finished reading "Healing Sands" (in a day and a half, couldn't stop reading it.)  I, too, did not know these books are a series.  I started with "Healing Waters," which was good.  This one was even better.  Not sure I'll want to go to #1 at this point.  It's funny, but the last time we went to our favorite bookstore in Lake Park, Georgia, I saw a number of books that seemed to be written for young/teen girls.  I was tempted to buy some as gifts for Arianna, Kari and Paige but wasn't familiar with the author.  The author was Nance Rue, who I now learn writes Christian books.  Her co-author in these "Healing . . . " books, Stephen Arterburn, is the founder of "Women of Faith" conferences.  I'm going to check the library for some of these "youth" books.

I also read "The Cradle" by Patrick Somerville and "World of Pies" by Karen Stolz.  On the lighter side I am into some "Murder" books.  These are easy reading, down home kind of books . . . they just all contain a murder, which the main character solves.  There is a whole slew of these books, with the first one being "Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder."  From there it moves on to "Strawberry Shortcake Murder," "Blueberry Muffin Murder," "Lemon Meringue Pie Murder," and on and on.  The neat thing is that every book is full of wonderful recipes.  "Sugar Cookie Murder" has about 50 recipes.  If you should start to read these it's best to start with #1--"Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder," because many of the characters are in all of the books.  If you want to view the author's (Joanne Fluke) website you can go to "murdershebaked.com".

Well that's my story for now.  This week it's going to be mostly Luke 19 because I have the Sunday School lesson this week.

Talk to you later.  I love you, Wendy.  Thanks for listening to me.

Mom

Tue. Aug 2, 2011

Dear Wendy:

The anniversary card you sent arrived--I mean the monkey one this time--I laughed and laughed.  It is so cute.  I think I like sock monkeys best, anyway, and this picture was darling.  Thanks to both you and John for the generous money gift!  That was very kind of you.  We spent yesterday trying to change some of our money into Euros and Pounds.  We went to our own bank first and they told us it would take as much as 10 days to get us the money.  This was on Monday and we leave the following Monday.  They suggested we go to AAA.  We did and they couldn't do it either.  All they had available was a packet of "tip money" - enough to get one started and the exchange rate they charged was very high.  But the lady who talked to us suggested we go to the Currency Exchange in Westshore Mall over in Tampa.  We stopped at home first and I looked up currency exchanges on the computer.  There was a comment from a young man moving to Japan and wanting to get Japanese Yen and that he found this at the Food Courts at Westshore Mall.  We looked at what the AAA lady had written for us and that was the same address.  But the food court?  So we went over to Tampa--it isn't far, just over the Bay--and the Mall is one of the first places you come to after crossing the Bay.  We went into the mall and there was a directory map and the Currency Exchange was shown on it--yes, right in the Food Court.

It was called CEI Currency Exchange.  CEI is the name of the travel agency we are going with.  Dad told the young boy who waited on us that the lady at AAA had sent us and said that if we tell that fact they will give us a discount.  They said "no" we don't do that.  But the manager was standing nearby and he looked down at the paperwork Dad had brought with us and saw "CEI Tours."  He asked us where we were going.  He then told the boy not to charge us the fee; he was very friendly and helpful.  So we were able to get money for the trip--which was a great relief.  I was afraid we weren't going to get any and would have to wait 'til we got there and then not have time--anyway, I had the feeling that that old fellow "Murphy" (of Murphy's Law) would be following us around.

Thanks for your advice about Haggis!  I had read something about what it was and was skeptical myself.  Our itinerary says that on the evening of Day 3 "a Scottish Highland cabaret will feature haggis and other traditional foods and we will enjoy bagpipe music, song and dance."  Well, I know for sure Shortbread is good; particularly yours.

I know that you probably will not be able to read this until you return from CBLI, but I want you to know that we will be thinking of you and John on your Anniversary on the 4th.  I know you always went to that special restaurant in Camp Lake and that it is no longer there; also, that John will probably not be there because he used to come when you lived in DeKalb.  But I hope your anniversary will be meaningful anyway!

Thank you again for all your love and thoughtfulness!

I love you,

Mom

Thu. Nov 10, 2011

Dear Wendy:

Just had to tell you that I just finished reading "I'm Not Who You Think I Am" by Peg Kehret.  It was a quick read ('course it's for kids!), and I loved it.  She is a great writer.  I tried to get "Runaway Twin", I think that's the correct name of the one you told of in your Blog . . . but the library didn't have it.  I also got, and read, her book - "Five Pages a Day: A Writer's Journey" (Juvenile Biography-Kehret, P).  That was a great read too.  I literally couldn't put it down.  Peg Kehret grew up in Austin, Minnesota!

I know you don't have time to read this month, but maybe later you might want to look that up.  I also saw on our Library's internet catalog that Maeve Binchy has a book called "Maeve Binchy's Writer's Club - 823.914BIN.

It was nice to read that your boys are interested in your month of writing.

Thinking of you!

Love you lots,

Mom

Austin, Minnesota is where my grandmother used to live. Amazing to think of a famous author coming from that tiny farm town.

How I miss these letters from my mom, hearing her response to my blog posts, gleaning her book reactions and recommendations, etc. Perhaps I will locate more letters when I begin to sort through papers in the basement (another new year task - however that one is far more daunting and I will probably put it off, as usual). It made me want to set another task for the new year - compiling letters for my boys - they would surely not save them if I wrote them and handed it to them now, but perhaps if it is a letter to open upon my demise, well ... one can hope they'd be interested in a backward glance at their own mother.
====================

Addendum: On Saturday, January 18th, my dad took a fall, hitting his head and breaking his arm. Given my mother's increasingly limited mobility, they really needed someone to come assist them during this healing phase, so I left on January 21st to take care of them until February 4th - thankfully, I had a few blog posts pre-written and scheduled. I know this will be terribly unsettling for my mother, but I am grateful for the opportunity to be with them in their time of need and to provide something of value despite her resistance to any presence besides my father.

Resolution Review and Recalibration

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My 2018 resolutions were a bust - I cannot spin it differently (much though I might wish). Since I set both conservative and optimistic goals, I expected to at least reach the moderate goals. Alas, I barely scratched the surface of my intentions. I only excelled at things I do naturally with ease, reading and writing. I wrote every single day of 2018 and read half a dozen books on writing.

My first goal was to attend a writing conference, and while I fulfilled that goal, it left me more distraught than encouraged. I netted three manuscript requests, but ignored one because criticism received at the conference convinced me that the manuscript required further revision. The other requests (for my Probability Code manuscript) led to nothing; although in one case, the editor who requested it then reviewed it as if submitted for her romance imprint instead of her YA imprint.

Every goal aimed at reaching the elusive end of publication. Yet, I didn't really pursue it rigorously. Like many would-be writers, I enjoy talking and reading about writing far more than I enjoy putting my words out there for critique. Emotionally, I allow minor setbacks to block my efforts. Despite reading a book on writing resilience, I did not stay determined.

My biggest failure? I intended to send out ten queries, and I didn't send one. Not one. My gears are always spinning with the idea that the work requires more tweaking, deeper revision. Thus, I am revising three or four manuscripts but never querying. I didn't even glance at the one manuscript I intended to revise (my travel memoir - no longer on my radar).

The biggest accomplishment? I broke out of my self-imposed mold of novel writing, daring to attempt something new. In penning a short story called "Stolen for Good," I attempted and succeeded in writing a surprise ending. I even submitted it to a contest. While it didn't win (it was a highly competitive competition - Glimmer Train), I learned much.

Still, I believe in nothing wasted. Even when tempted to consider myself a hamster on a wheel, I am practicing the trade and putting my butt in the chair, regardless of outcomes. If anything, I think I should take my eyes off the outcomes and simply focus on enjoying the ride. When I allow discouragement over lack of publication to cloud my vision, I lose energy and enjoyment in the writing. Viewing the success of others, I grow discouraged and wish to quit trying. As Theodore Roosevelt observed, "Comparison is the thief of joy." I spend too much time naval-gazing. To accept that I'm a work in progress, I need Jon Accuf's reminder, "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle."

For now, I am hard at work researching a fascinating topic. My focus has shifted from fiction to non-fiction, something I never envisioned. I will continue to pursue 2 daily pages of free-association writing and at least a half hour to an hour per day in other writing. I will seek more titles on the craft because I can always stand to improve. After a writing sabbatical and 5 weeks of tithing my talents, I'm ready to recalibrate my efforts, to focus more on the joy of writing than success or failure. I want 2019 to be a year free of assessment. Indeed, I'm more than ready for my creativity to blossom for creativity's sake alone. To hell with platform and publication. Instead of discouragement, I want to regain delight in my writing. To do that, I must stop seeking validation and value the work for myself alone.

A Tithe of My Talents

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Today is November 1st. Every year, since 2009, I have started a new novel/work at the outset of November with the Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge (a challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel within the space of November's 30 days). Throughout the past three weeks of my writing sabbatical, an internal argument raged over this year's participation. I'm fatigued and broken, not in a position to begin a new novel. The novels I've written languish in files, unworthy of agent/editor attention. Thanks to my Write-to-Publish critiques, my writing mojo has vanished, replaced by insecurity over my ability to pull off a well-written novel. The problems seem myriad: inconsistent point-of-view usage (head-hopping), insufficient world-building, passive voice construction, weak characters the reader cannot get behind, too much back story (information dumps), too much telling instead of showing, and secondary characters overshadowing the heroine. That's a lot to swallow, a tremendous amount to overcome. I feel paralyzed just trying to approach these weaknesses in my writing.

Yet, deep within, I cannot believe my writing efforts are hopeless. I know that God has given me some talent (even if insufficient at this point). I'm also convinced He intends me to use the talent He has given. So, in thinking about this significant day, I made an alternate decision. I will use this month to tithe on my talent, giving every word written in November back to Him. I will focus my efforts on words devoted to His glory.

Christians often emphasize the imperative to tithe on the monies that God puts at our disposal. I have no personal money. I make no income (perhaps that is why I fight those feelings of uselessness). But I desire to write and give my words back to Him. With the little drummer boy, I offer my humble rat-a-tat-tat. Like the young boy in the crowd listening to Jesus, I give up my meager loaves and fishes for His use.

Even though my novels build on a Christian framework, I have no fresh ideas for stories to glorify God. Perhaps, as my husband has suggested, I am supposed to focus on non-fiction words dedicated for His interest. Even as I enter this set-apart month, I don't know fully what that looks like, but I'm determined to live out my "nothing wasted" mantra and committed to tithing this month's words to His purposes.

If you are a Christian writer, how do you tithe on your talents? What does that look like for you? How do you give a tenth of your talents and efforts to God's glory? I guess if Christian practice suggests a tenth, one month doesn't even suffice. If I'm eager to devote a tenth, I should give the whole month of November and one week of December. Everything I have comes from God. I'm ready to give Him the "first fruits" of my labors. I'm ready to use my words solely for His glory and to win others to His kingdom.

Writers Need a Sabbath

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My laptop was in the shop for repairs all last week. As the one device in our home with Microsoft Word, it's the only place I can work on my novels. This evoked mixed feelings. Even though the inability to work on my writing brought frustration, it also brought a whole different overwhelming feeling: a perplexing combination of relief and freedom. It lifted the weight of expectation. I didn't have to worry about my productivity level because it was out of my hands.

As a result, I'm now contemplating taking a breather from my writing efforts. I suppose I've become too consumed with the elusive goal of achieving publication. My January resolutions all leaned that direction. Mentally, I am constantly agitating over what I should do to achieve that goal. It is draining. Perhaps, I desperately need a writing hiatus. The writing loses the element of fun when expectation overshadows eagerness.

I will admit, this is rather unsettling, a month before my annual November Nanowrimo efforts. Even though I had already considered passing on this year's challenge, it feels too much like surrender. Then again, maybe surrender is exactly what I need at this moment. It is also scary because I think I see my writing as my raison d'etre (reason for existence). Without that as a focus, what do I do with myself? (My husband would say, "Clean, woman! Clean!" - ha!)

I long for feedback from other writers. Is this a normal patch in the road? Am I coming to the end of my writing reserves? Am I giving up by taking time off from my writing goals? How long should my hiatus last? If you are a writer, how do you handle the need for a break? Even God took a Sabbath rest after His creation. Should I wonder at my soul's need for a breather? Who knows, maybe a Sabbath is the key!

Resolution and Redemption

I don't often make resolutions, mostly because I don't often keep resolutions. Thus, it seems rather pointless to set out with an intention if you know your abysmal track record for making intentions reality. But, this year I've jumped on the band wagon again, primarily because my writer's group set about to articulate goals for this year. I think I also took that plunge because of the life lessons learned from my recent trip. I'm still in that mode of approaching hard things because I know they will reap growth and even when change and challenge seem daunting, I don't want to shrink back out of fear (as I almost did with my solo European trip this past November).

I spent several weeks agonizing over what my writing goals for 2018 should be. I was so torn between making them reasonable and shooting for the moon that I wrote down two separate lists. I figure I can tackle each list in turn. If I achieve the simpler goals from the first list, I can push on into the more intense goals.

The first year I attempted the Nanowrimo goal of writing 50,000 words within the space of a month, I had a blogging friend, Cardiogirl, who participated as well. I should credit much of my success to her. I had access, through the Nanowrimo website, to follow her stats and will admit that when she pressed into the challenge and made a giant spurt of writing, it inspired me to keep up and make my own strides. I might not have reached my end goal without her traversing beside me, helping to set my pace and encouraging me to keep running when I wanted to walk.

This year, my writing group will be a sort of accountability partner for me. I dutifully read aloud my goals (although I hope I didn't discourage a few of the others who hadn't even known that goals were on the agenda and were, thus, making their goals off-the-cuff). By posting them here, I figure I have even more accountability because, come December, I will have to answer to myself on this forum for what I have invested and pursued.

Conservative goals:

1. Attend some sort of conference/writing workshop and meet with editors/agents
2. Send out at least ten queries
3. Revise and polish my travel memoir (the most recent November project)
4. Do daily morning writing of 2 pages free-association writing
5. Read The Portable MFA in Creative Writing and at least three other writing books

Lofty goals:

1. Send twenty queries
2. Revise and polish travel memoir and pitch it to five agents
3. Read 5 additional writing books
4. Get something published in 2018, even if it is just a devotional/essay in a magazine
5. Secure an agent before the end of 12/18

Another thing I've watched from the sidelines is the practice of selecting one word to focus on for the year. I've never before joined in all the reindeer games, but this year I feel strongly prompted internally to select the phrase "Nothing Wasted." (My blogging friend, Catherine, of A Spirited Mind, often selects phrases instead of words and always articulates her motivation so well, as evidenced in this post about her current word-of-the-year, along with some previous words/phrases she selected.)

The phrase "nothing wasted" comes from a song we sing at our annual Salvation Army Bible camp, CBLI. Written by Eric Himes (son of Bill Himes, who penned another beautiful song I've claimed in a previous blog post) together with Phil Laeger, it speaks of a desire for God to use everything within our lives for His purposes and to redeem every tiny aspect. I've long been a fan of redemption stories (even attempted to write one myself a few years back) and truly want my life to be a clear redemption story to others who see it/read it.

Here are to words to the song:

"Let nothing be wasted,

Not a pain nor a tear,

Not a wound of my heart,

Every lingering fear.

Shape the doubts of my soul

Into prayers you will hear,
Oh Lord, let nothing,
nothing be wasted.

Let nothing be wasted,

Not a burden within,

When I face temptation,

Every fight against sin.

Lord, I come to you now,

For the freedom you give,
Oh Lord, let nothing,
nothing be wasted.

We are pressed but not crushed,

Persecuted, not abandoned.

Struck down but not destroyed.

Oh my soul, take heart

In the trial, in the sorrow

For He has overcome the world.

Let nothing be wasted,

The space in between

The waiting and answers

For a vision not seen.

Let my restless heart know

Your unburdening peace,
Oh Lord, let nothing,
nothing be wasted.

You can go to this You Tube link to hear Eric's group, The Singing Company, sing it (due to be released on an album in March).

It sounds like a dangerous phrase to build my year on. If I focus on "Nothing Wasted," what further trials will God bring to suck the marrow from? Yet, it continues to linger on the periphery of my vision, persistently calling to me as something I should claim. Certainly, in my writing life, I want nothing wasted. All the previous difficulties and trials He has brought me through have been for a purpose and even if they only serve to refine me to be more like Christ, that will be enough, but I long for them to go even further and flesh out into productive, meaningful writing to share with someone else loaded down with burdens.

I'm not begging to be pressed, persecuted, or struck down. I don't relish the idea of further trials or sorrows, but I know that hard place between the waiting and the answers and I am committed to leaving every tear and pain in the Lord's hands to be used for His glory and my eventual good (My Bible study last week focused on Romans 8:28-39  - verse 28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.") In my writing and in my life, I want to see His redemption. I claim His promise, this year, that nothing will be wasted.