Book Review: When You Love a Prodigal

Motherhood is the toughest job I've ever encountered. Plus, it feels like the most important job to get right. And, oh, the unsought advice and unwelcome criticism it opens for us. How easy it is for someone else to judge and say, "Well, I wouldn't have handled the child that way! It's no wonder he's going astray!" I don't bristle because I think I never fail. I'm sure I do. Thus, I devoured a Crosswalk article titled "Five Ways You May Be Ruining Your Child's Life," a list that didn't help me in the slightest. Then, I opened an email from Million Praying Moms titled "For the Mom Who Thinks She's Failing Miserably." Instead of an article I could skim, I had to listen through a podcast (about losing tempers with small children) that left my needs unmet. I mused, "Yeah, but these women are not encountering the devastation and challenge I'm walking through with my wayward son."

Thankfully, the very next MPM podcast episode interviewed Judy Douglass. She is familiar with the rebellion I'm facing now. I discovered her book, When You Love a Prodigal: 90 Days of Grace for the Wilderness. Even though it is a 90 day devotional, I devoured it in a few days, eager for the encouragement. Judy offers her story but primarily focuses on God as a resource and strong tower amid questions, despair, and fear.

Some individuals in my life believe I am not tough enough on my rebel. I appreciated Judy's observation that "tough love is not always God's approach." In the prodigal son story in the Bible, the father did not tie down the rebellious son or refuse to allow him to leave. He stood ready to welcome him back with open arms. I agree with Judy's statement: "It takes supernatural wisdom to blend justice based on truth with benevolence based on grace." I may long to be in control, but his rebellion will not lift because I execute and enforce rules. That is the very nature of rebellion, violent or open resistance to established authority. God must change his heart, and on this tough road He is not only refining my prodigal, but He is refining ME!

Any parent of a prodigal will appreciate the essays and reflective questions. Judy doesn't shy away from the hard places, but stirs hope and peace to cover the pain. Her foremost message is that God is trustworthy and, above all, gracious. He has a plan and can grow both prodigal and parent through the trials of rebellion. I agree. My son is a GIFT! Even the anxiety he induces is something to thank God for and to assist me in recognizing that all hope comes from God, the only genuine source of comfort, peace, and control. This path will not be an easy one. I have no way of knowing how long we must walk it or how it will end, but "I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day!" (2 Timothy 1:12).

Side note: HE IS ABLE TO KEEP - I am neither responsible for nor capable of mustering, in my own strength, the necessary faith to face these challenges. Praise God, it is HE who keeps us, not ourselves! His grace saved me; His grace keeps me; His grace will lead me home.