Book Review: Life Inside My Mind

The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 31.9 % of U.S. adolescents aged 13 to 18 suffer from some form of anxiety disorder. That's almost a third of the teens in that age group. To me, this sounds like an epidemic problem. I was already aware of this statistic because I have referred to it in several query letters attempting to pitch my young adult novel, The Probability Code. Indeed, adolescent anxiety has been on my radar ever since a relative of mine began to suffer significantly.

When I picked up Life Inside My Mind, I was hoping to find a title I could pass along to my afflicted family member. The book provides a collection of essays from 31 young adult authors who bare their souls to increase awareness and to provide solidarity and suggestions for those who suffer from anxiety. To be fully honest, I struggled with the intensity of the book. I've experienced chronic depression and panic attacks. Indeed, on a visit to The Indianapolis Children's Museum, the crowds and the crush set me hyperventilating. I had to seek out a small space near a window to calm myself and stave off a public panic attack.Yet after reading this book, I feel as if I have only stuck my little toe into the water, while these authors have crossed the ocean.

Every imaginable mental health issue is addressed. Various authors outline their personal struggles with anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, ADHD, depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, bipolar, drug and alcohol addictions, PTSD, and even a condition called Trichotillomania (compulsively pulling out one's hair or eyelashes). I was overwhelmed with their stories. Each new raw tale brought that conflicting battle one experiences when passing an accident on the road. I was deeply drawn to seeing the raw truth of their experience, but equally wanted to avert my eyes for fear the images might be seared into my memory, never to be washed away. And I agonized over this review.

While I certainly want to commend the authors for being so incredibly vulnerable and real, I'm concerned about teens who pick up this book. Will they feel even more overwhelmed than they already are? Will their anxiety increase when they read of the extremes of other life experiences? Do I want to add more anxiety to an already plagued mind? Several of the stories did just that to me. I was terrified by the tale of PTSD after the author was attacked twice in her own home. What if that happened to me? I was saddened by the sheer number of authors available to tell these harrowing tales. Our world is clearly messed up when 31 of our young adult authors can share such serious tales of woe. The drug use, the alcohol consumption, the dependency on prescriptions to alleviate symptoms (one author tells of being prescribed twelve times the average dose of Xanax).

In my head, I want to acknowledge that teens will feel heard and understood. They will be able to say, "See, someone else gets it. This is destroying my life and somebody else has walked the road before me." But, will teens take in the prescriptive advice to rest, eat well, exercise, stay clean, talk to someone, and get medical help? What can we do, as a society, to get our world back to the place where the most pressing problem for a teen was how to fill a boring weekend night? With cyber-bullying, school shootings, easy access to addictive substances like drugs, alcohol, and porn, why are we surprised that a third of our teens struggle with anxiety? We need to do more than build awareness. We need to combat the societal pressures increasing the numbers of the afflicted. And then I despair all the more, because it seems like we cannot go back to those idyllic days. We are destined for more pressures than we already know.

So, no. I won't be handing this book off to my beleaguered relative. I want to shield her from the troubled truths outlined in this book. While some of the authors tried to end on a hopeful note - indeed tried to tell young people that they are bigger than the demons lying to them and attacking them - many left me feeling quite hopeless. And clearly, our world is in a hopeless condition. The only hope I see comes through a relationship with God to cut through the garbage of this world and stand firm on legs that won't be crippled by addiction, attacked by anxiety, or paralyzed by apprehension. Those little voices saying "Take a pill, it will improve your mood ... have some casual sex, it will alleviate your isolation ... swig a drink, it will dull your senses" - they lie to our young people. The stories these authors tell of their personal experiences back this up.

Yes, the stigma of mental health issues needs to be broken. Yes, our young people are desperate for safety and security. Yes, there is always a benefit in sharing the truth of one's story. But, oh tread with caution. These are deep waters that threaten to engulf teens. How sad that hope is out there offering not only relief from the troubles of this life, but also eternal safety and security, and not a single author alluded to it. Instead, the reader is presented with 31 tales of attempts to relieve difficulties through drugs, alcohol, and behavioral modifications. Where sin and worldly pressures threaten to bind us and hold us hostage, please, Lord, set us free! We need another book; one that doesn't acknowledge that darkness lingers still, but one that triumphs over that darkness with the power of the light. That's the book I want for the troubled teen in my life.