2023 - Second Quarterly Review

To assist my blog readers, I summarize my reading four times a year, providing a brief description, the page count, and a grading scale (💖5 thumbs up - highly recommend, 4 thumbs up - enjoyed, 3 thumbs up - good, 2 thumbs up - meh, and 1 thumb down - regret, wishing I could get back the time invested). I read the following books during the second quarter of 2023 (links to full reviews can be found in the side-bar, or after 2023, found through the search bar at the right):

Spare by Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex - Now that Prince Harry and Megan Markle are living in America, he wishes to set the record straight and put forth his side of the story, countering the lies fabricated by the media for the purpose of sales. He joins the media in seeking profit from a story. 410 pages (I listened in audio form, 13 CDs, 15-3/4 hours), 👍👍👍-1/2

💖Paths of Glory by Jeffrey Archer - A riveting story of the initial efforts to scale Mt. Everest. In Archer's signature style, the ending held great satisfaction and made me a little weepy. 448 pages (I listened in audio form, 9 CDs, 11 hours), 👍👍👍👍👍

Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan - Retold many times over for adults and children, this epic tale of a pilgrim's journey on the path to heaven is full of spiritual application and allegorical truth. Every Christian should read this book! Various page counts and mediums, some more effective and enjoyable than others.

💖Maureen by Rachel Joyce - This is the 3rd book exploring the lives of characters introduced in her blockbuster hit, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. Yet another pilgrimage I highly recommend to other readers! 132 pages, 👍👍👍👍👍

Home Detox: Make Your Home a Healthier Place For Everyone Who Lives There by Daniella Chace  - Suggestions outlining the top ten toxic items in various rooms or areas of a house and acceptable replacements. In many ways, a terrifying book. 195 pages, 👍👍👍

Praying for My Life: Holding On to God's Promises, No Matter What by Marion Bond West - A powerful litany of life stories that demonstrate the importance of tenacious prayer, our only lifeline. 285 pages, 👍👍👍👍-1/2

Not My Daughter by Barbara Delinsky - Pregnant teen mom pulls herself up by the bootstraps to a prominent position of high school principal, only to possibly lose it all when her own teen becomes pregnant. Is she a bad mother like her own mother? What defines a good mother? 343 pages (I listened in audio form, 10 CDs, 12-1/4 hours), 👍👍👍

Praying: Finding Our Way Through Duty to Delight by J. I. Packer & Carolyn Nystrom - As Packer says, this is not a "how-to," as much as it is a "who-to" or "to whom" for prayer. Deep insights into the nature and struggle of prayer. Although the cover said, "unabridged," the introduction labelled this "selections" from Praying - and the page count for the hardback doesn't seem to match the time length of the audio - 319 pages (I listened, twice, in audio form, 2 CDs, 2 hours), 👍👍👍👍

Before Amen: The Power of a Simple Prayer by Max Lucado - Lucado's is a more storied exploration on prayer than the deep thoughts offered in the previous book by Packer. He offers a recitable pocket prayer as guidance. 159 pages (I listened in audio form, 2 CDs, 2-1/4 hours), 👍👍👍

Finding God in Hidden Places by Joni Eareckson Tada - A series of short essays that highlight the presence of God in our lives. Honest, vulnerable, Christ-focused. 160 pages (I listened in audio form, 3 CDs, 3 hours), 👍👍👍👍

The Making of an Ordinary Saint: My Journey from Frustration to Joy With the Spiritual Disciplines by Nathan Foster - Son of author of Celebration of Discipline outlines his own experience with trying to implement more spiritual discipline into his life. He is honest and vulnerable, but I found less meat than I had hoped. 194 pages, 👍👍👍

Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World by Max Lucado - Simple stories accompany principles for finding peace in times of trouble. 222 pages (I listened in audio form, 3 CDs, 3-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍

The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly: Life Wisdom from Someone Who Will (Probably) Die Before You by Margareta Magnusson - From the author of a book on Swedish "death-cleaning," comes a book on tips for aging well. 160 pages (I listened in audio form, 3 CDs, 3-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍

Prayer: Does it Make a Difference? by Philip Yancey - A thorough journalistic investigation into the power and mysteries of prayer. 352 pages, 👍👍👍👍

💖Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop - Biblical lament pours out the agonies of life below to the sovereign God above and helps us live today with hope for tomorrow. 224 pages, 👍👍👍👍👍

Book Review: Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy - Highly Recommend

It is hard to sit in grief. Despair has a tendency to overwhelm me. But, I think even without a biological tendency to depression, I would struggle with expressing despondency. I fight hard against those who try to tell me that my anguish indicates a lack of faith in God. My opinion is that anguish and faith stand side by side in the troubles of life. Voicing anxiety does not negate a firm belief in God and His goodness. All the while, there was a term for this and a biblical expression of it: lament.

In Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, Mark Vroegop validates our need for lament and teaches how to lament. Pouring out our complaints to God is NOT sin when we are addressing Him and allowing those complaints to move us to affirm faith. As Vroegop asserts, "Lament is the transition between pain and promise, the path from heartbreak to hope." This book considers several Psalms that express lament and also the book of Lamentations. After studying Lamentations in my Bible Study Fellowship group, I devoured Vroegop's writing on this subject. David, Jeremiah, and other Bible greats pour out their agonies to God. So can I.

Sadly, I've been spurned by other Christians who believed my vehement "why?" was an affront to God's sovereignty. In my opinion, God is big enough to handle my questions. Yet, in two separate struggles with my children, when my parental heart wept and complained to God, others chastised me. They viewed my lament as talking back to God.

In the first struggle, I allowed my grief and anguish to dry up my complaints to God. I went silent. Oh, how I loved Vroegop's insistence that we not go silent. God's ear is the very place we need to bring our despair. He shared the exact feelings I used to have in church. Others sang about God's love, while I wondered why He didn't feel loving to me amid my trial. The silence led to distance. The distance would have remained... but God. He pursued and I returned.

In the second struggle, others again berated me for speaking my despair. They insisted I was allowing my circumstances to dictate my faith. Not so! Why are so many Christians unwilling to sit with another Christian in lament? My trial knocked me to my knees, but this time I did not go silent. I persisted in pouring out my heart's emotions to the Lord. I penned the poems in my book, Watching the Wayward. Even as I expressed deep agony, He wove it into declarations of dependence.

Two phrases will remain rooted in my head after reading this book. When Dr. John Piper heard of the Vroegops' trial, he wrote, "Keep trusting the One who keeps you trusting." So true! We cannot muster the faith and trust we need. We protest and He places our hand back in His own. In the dedication, Mark Vroegop introduces a quote they now live by: "Hard is hard; hard is not bad." May we learn to sit with the hard, speak with the Father, and side with the Sovereign.

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Addendum: I found this quote on a friend's Facebook page - so apt!

"When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." - Henri Nouwen

Book Review: Prayer

A friend recommended Philip Yancey's book, Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? It fit my passion, devouring books about prayer. I am primarily interested in intercessory prayer (because of my ongoing 2023 Facebook Prayer Project). Yet I have enjoyed pondering various difficulties and questions about prayer. Yancey is thorough in his investigation into prayer. He highlights the mysteries and the dilemmas of prayer. He discusses the language and the practice of prayer. Interspersed throughout, the reader gets snippets of perspective from various anonymous individuals. Some are impressive accounts of the miracle of prayer, while others express disappointment with the results of prayer.

For me, this question has never really been plagued me - "Does prayer make a difference?" Is this because of my own life story of miraculous answers to prayer? Probably. My testimony, from an early age, referenced an experience my father had when I was three. I almost died from double pneumonia. While doctors and nurses surrounded me, attempting to restore my hold on life, they ushered my father into the hallway. Once there, he begged God, as expected, "Please, Lord, don't take my little girl." Then the truth of God's sovereignty broke through and he changed his tune, instead praying, "Thank you for the gift of this child. If you must take her, give me the grace to endure." When they let him back in, they told of a miracle. During a procedure sending medicine through a vein in my ankle, I suddenly revived, sat up, and asked them what they were doing. It was at the very moment my father's prayer had changed, surrendering his will to God's.

Here are a few thoughts I gleaned from this book: 

"Prayer is a declaration of dependence upon God." When we realize we are helpless in a situation, it is a knee-jerk reaction to turn to God. My goal is to make prayer a response before I get to a point of desperation.

"In the presence of the Great Physician, my most appropriate contribution may be my wounds." Love that!

"Peter Marshall once remarked that God has equipped us to go deep-sea diving and instead we wade in bathtubs. What makes the difference, I firmly believe is how seriously we take prayer. I see prayer as the process of becoming available for what God wants to do on earth through us." - an observation by Bud.

"The greatest tragedy in life is not unanswered prayer, but unoffered prayer." - F. B. Meyer

And finally, I love his reiteration of a Quaker expression I have heard before (was it in the outstanding book, Prayer in the Night?). When Yancey had an almost-fatal car accident, others said, "We are holding you in the light." I love that word picture. I feel honored to hold my Facebook friends in the light. It is a privilege to lay my requests before the throne of God and to pray, "Have Your will in their life."

Book Review: The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly

This book jumped out at me in a quick dash into the library. While I don't consider myself old enough to worry about aging exuberantly, it's a brief audio book, so I couldn't go wrong. Margareta Magnusson took the world by storm when, in her 80s, she published her first book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. It teaches people to get rid of their junk before their death so their relatives will not have to handle that onerous task. My sons might gift that book to me for Christmas - ha!

In The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly, Magnusson offers hints to suck the joy out of life, no matter what your age. She provides sensible and accessible tips. For example, here's two excellent rules of thumb to pass on to your offspring. Whenever you are considering doing something with a twinge of hesitation, ask yourself, "What if everyone did this?" That sounds like excellent advice. Plus, she mentions a friend's insistence, "Don't leave empty-handed." The initial meaning is to clean up dishes and such when you leave a room. However, this is equally important in life.

I intend to implement a few other suggestions. Though I seldom volunteer, I recognize the wisdom in this advice. Perhaps I'll find a retirement center and read to residents. That would be my cup of tea. Fulfilling in so many ways. I will also try to follow her suggestion to eat more chocolate. Ha! Now there's a tough one. I'm not sure how I could find more young people to associate with, but that sounds rejuvenating, as well. This book was a simple, enjoyable meandering in ideas for enriching your life at any age.

Mid-month Mention: Battling Traumatic Intrusive Thoughts

 

June is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Awareness Month. In early June, my family endured a very traumatic experience. If traumas were ranked, mine wouldn't be at the top of the list, like men who have experienced combat or car accident victims. While I don't believe I would be fully diagnosed with PTSD, I am experiencing several of the symptoms and difficulties associated with PTSD. Apart from social anxieties, and difficulty discussing it aloud (writing is fine), my primary symptom is intrusive memories. I simply cannot stop the thoughts that invade, playing out the whole scenario again and again. Others might say, "Just stop thinking about it. Distract yourself." But that is impossible for me. I cannot read or focus (thankfully, I have at least a month of pre-scheduled book review posts). The instant replays are persistent.

I try to distract in other, less cognitive, ways. It is helpful to get engrossed in household chores (my husband is thrilled with this newfound fixation). Nothing like a pile of laundry, a sink full of dirty dishes, and a bathroom used by BOYS to drill down to mental oblivion. As much as I generally despise shopping, I find excuses to run out and make purchases of things we need. I take more outdoor walks, instead of treadmill walking. If I spend the time praying, it generally keeps those thoughts at bay but sometimes they intrude nonetheless. It is still early days and will take some time for life to resume normalcy. And who knows, I may just require psychotherapy to get over this.

So, what do I recommend online? 

Here is a blog post about invasive trauma thoughts on a blog called Still Blooming Me. 

I also listened to a few outstanding podcasts by Dr. Caroline Leaf (author of a book I read many years ago called, Who Switched Off My Brain?):

Podcast 366: Intrusive Thoughts - What They Are and How to Not Let Them Run Your Life

Podcast 375: The Different Types of Post-Trauma Syndromes and How to Find Healing

Psych Central's 9 Ways to Cope With Intrusive Thoughts - I'm already doing a few of these (walks especially)

I appreciated the Christian perspective and biblical suggestions in the article on How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts on Pray.com.

Out of all of these, I recommend Dr. Leaf's Cleaning Up My Mental Mess Podcast the most. Plus, I intend to seek her book of the same name. I also hope to check out again (had to turn it back in unread last time) Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's bestselling book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. 

Praying God heals the PTSD symptoms I'm facing. Especially praying God uses our traumatic event and its fallout for His glory!

Book Review: Anxious for Nothing

I love the resources available in the library of a mega-church close to me. In returning my borrowed Pilgrim's Progress books, I skimmed the shelves of audio books on prayer and found this book nestled nearby. In Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World, Max Lucado dissects the comforting verses in Philippians 4:4-8:

4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (KJV)

One thing I've been doing in my prayer project is selecting a verse or verses to pray over each individual at the end of my prayer time. One friend recently lost her husband suddenly. I had already selected a few from this very passage to pray for her. Even without my prayer, she embodies these words. Nonetheless, I asked God to give her strength to continue to do so, giving all her anxiety to God.

I've been in a perfect storm or two of my own. I know the tendency to head straight for anxiety instead of straight for the Lord. Lucado provides an encouraging pep talk. He gives examples of people who have placed their trust in God, regardless of the storms. Knowing He is sovereign and in control, we can rest in the assurance that our focus on His good gifts will lead our anxious heart out of the waters of despair.

Book Review: The Making of an Ordinary Saint

Last fall, a friend posted a book recommendation on Facebook for Mark Buchanan's book, God Walk. She had heard about it in a podcast interview on the Renovare Podcast, hosted by Nathan Foster. After gleaning so much from God Walk, I listened to the podcast. During that interview, someone mentioned Nathan Foster's book, The Making of an Ordinary Saint: My Journey from Frustration to Joy With the Spiritual Disciplines. I requested this book for Christmas, since prayer is one of the spiritual disciplines I am currently pursuing with abandon.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. The book covers 12 spiritual disciplines. Sadly, the section on prayer netted not a single note in my note-taking. I gleaned things from other sections. Nathan Foster is the son of Richard J. Foster, who authored The Celebration of Discipline. I know he wasn't seeking the success of his dad's book, but trying his own hand at living out the spiritual disciplines his father famously outlined. When you read further into the book, you realize he is ordinary. He is not some saint to follow. He is honest and vulnerable, sharing his earlier struggles with addiction and personal insecurities. I would say he is a down-to-earth author.

The first discipline mentioned is submission. I appreciated his observation that there is freedom in not insisting on your own way. In the section on fasting, I found a principle I had encountered in Dear Dana, by Amy Weinland Daughters. In similar words, Foster expressed of Sundar Singh, "He felt that the weaker his body grew when he fasted, the more spiritually attentive he became." Despite great hopes for fasting with my prayer project, I failed to follow-through (perhaps this is part of the draw of reading this book - I need more discipline).

I noted his comments about our own self-hatred when we don't follow through. He said, "I felt God's gift of grace had to be repaid with my works... the subconscious assumption that God's continued love was contingent upon my behavior, as if I could make Him stop loving me." My church of origin ingrained this in me from an early age. They believe that, "Continuance in the state of salvation depends upon continued obedient faith in Christ." I am now convinced that when we recognize our sin and our need for his sacrifice to save us, we are born again. It is a spiritual birth into His family. We become His children. His DNA flows through our veins. Nothing will sever the gift of eternal life He has given. It is eternal, not temporary until we walk away. The abovementioned doctrine leads to a sense of self-sufficiency. If we rely on our own obedient faith to "keep" our salvation, we are trusting in our own righteousness, not His righteousness. If there is anything the law has taught, it is that we are incapable of following sufficiently to maintain our salvation. Sorry for that passionate aside.

Finally, I appreciated several of his comments on our compulsion to instruct others. At one point, he observes, "When I don't like something about myself, I feel a strange compulsion to teach others what they need to change." Ouch! Further on, he writes, "So often, in our need to work out our own experiences, we feel compelled to be the bearer of guidance or advice to others." Sadly, I've been on both the bearing end and the receiving end of unsolicited advice.

The main emphasis Foster makes is that we need to live out the spiritual disciplines. If we look at them as a to-do list, we become like Pharisees. It will take a lifetime to grow more and more like Christ. Thankfully, we are not responsible to "do the work." For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 (KJV)

Book Review: Finding God in Hidden Places

I'm grateful for the local church library, where I found two audio books on prayer. While there, I noticed Joni Eareckson Tada's Finding God in Hidden Places. At only 3 CDs long, it was a quick and easy listen. Joni is personable, vulnerable, and honest. Most know Joni's story (lifelong paralysis after a diving accident when she was a teen). I love her upbeat attitude and her genuine response to pain and suffering. While it may be hard, it is carrying us closer to God's kingdom and refining us in ways that comfort never will. 

The parts about watching video of her teenaged able-bodied self were especially moving. It reminded me of one of her quotes I had heard about the blessing her wheelchair brings. In her book, Hope... the Best of Things, she wrote an imaginary conversation with God about her wheelchair. "The weaker I was in that thing, the harder I leaned on You. And the harder I leaned on You, the stronger I discovered You to be. It never would have happened had you not given me the bruising of the blessing of that wheelchair." What a glorious reminder that every trial is a bruising with blessing. May I find God in hidden places in my life, just as Joni does.

Trevor's H.S. Graduation

Thanks to our school district's outstanding opportunities available to middle-school students, Trevor had enough credits to graduate early. He had originally been on the college track but, in switching gears to a general diploma, he sped through those requirements. I celebrated his achievement back in December with a small cake, balloons, and a card. We intend to take him out for a celebratory meal eventually, since he had a birthday party to attend on graduation day.

Trevor's girlfriend Kylie came with us for the festivities and sat next to me. I regaled her with tales of his youth (hopefully, he won't be furious) and his passion for dressing-up, especially as Spiderman. The school had requested a toddler/pre-school photo along with their senior photo. I'm sure he's relieved I didn't select one of those Spiderman moments to share with all his classmates.

As we sat waiting for the ceremony to begin, I noticed my oldest son's name in the program. Apparently, he donated to the Dollars for Scholars program. Good for him! It was a somber occasion, in many ways. One of the first students to speak was Madi Parker, whose twin sister died from cancer on Mother's Day this year. She did an amazing job of staying composed while encouraging students to appreciate the gift of every day and to remember all the blessings in the past. I said a prayer for her when I noticed her tearing up at the video review for the class of 2023. She is an amazing young person and recently received the Indiana Distinguished Young Woman Award. I attended a garage sale fundraiser for her trip to the national level of competition.

Afterwards, we fell into the crush of people. I wish I had been more intentional about finding a quiet place to secure our family photo. Sadly, we were more focused on getting out of the masses and quickly snapped just two photos. The background is too busy. While Trevor looks great, the rest of us... well, not thrilled.

I managed a better shot of Trevor with his girlfriend. So wishing I had my friend Laura's photography skills... or even a better phone camera. Despite sub-par photographic evidence, it was a fine day for a celebration! He may still have super-powers 😁