Freedom

I know that children grow at the speed of light. You blink and they are full grown and you wonder how that happened so quickly. However, over the last two years it has not FELT like my little ones were growing at the speed of light. When my ES was little, it didn't seem to go slowly, but I had a lot of other things in my life. I taught a high school Basic Life Skills class, I attended La Leche League meetings, I sang in a church choir, I went to Bible Study. I had an identity apart from my child.

For the last two years, the entirety of my identity has been caught up in these two little boys. They are like my right and left arms. When I move, they move with me. When I go shopping, they must go shopping, too (most of the time). When I want to exercise, I must find a way to do this with them (thus, my walks in the park pushing a double stroller with two hefty boys!).

But, the past two days have afforded me more opportunities to embrace freedom (from the bondage mothers sometimes feel when constantly saddled with small children). Yesterday, my ES was home sick from school. I had arranged an afternoon appointment with his doctor and my husband actually asked to leave work at lunch time, in order to stay with the two little boys.

When I returned home, I found that my husband had already put my YS down for his nap and MS was quietly playing. I headed to the kitchen to fix myself some lunch and my husband said he would get his lunch as well. I was surprised that he hadn't eaten yet. This is what freedom does to you. It quickly removes you from the reality of what life is like with time-consuming, demanding, needy children. He explained that, although I had gotten them in their seats with their lunch, the entire time we had been gone had been spent taking care of their various needs and cleaning them up, changing a diaper, finding sleepy bear, transitioning them to quiet time, etc.

Later, he stayed with the little boys again, as I headed to the middle school for "Meet the Teacher Night." The parents received their child's class schedule in their homeroom and then followed it for a mini-introduction to their child's typical day. Of course, I responded to this evening both as a parent and as a teacher.

I enjoyed listening to the teachers introduce their class, their expectations, their personal style. I chuckled as one teacher tried to explain his approach after two students had sat on the desks, telling their parents that this particular teacher doesn't ever talk, but just lets the students talk and do projects. I'm sure the students were trying to communicate why the teacher was cool. I'm sure the teacher was concerned that parents were thinking he "didn't make them do anything."

When I arrived at the 7th Grade Language Arts class, I revelled in paging through the brand new textbook. I wanted to see what my son would be reading this year. It was like a mini-fix to an education addict. A hit of what I enjoy doing - teaching literature.

Of course, I met with the teachers briefly, too (especially since ES thought I'd be good for bringing home his missed work). I mentioned to the language arts teacher that my son is a reluctant reader and that it pains me because I was an English teacher. I told the band instructor that even though ES has acquired a used drum set, he has now set his sights on a better drum set. It was an enjoyable evening, away from my children, but still focused on my children.

When I returned home, the little ones were already in bed and ES wanted to know what I thought of his teachers. He informed me that one of his teachers "doesn't like him." I asked why he thought that and he indicated that the teacher had made an example of him and yelled at him a few times already. I found it interesting that I had the same impression, prior to even knowing that my son experienced any difficulty with this particular teacher. I suggested he "kill the teacher with kindness" and give a glimpse of the brain behind the long hair.

Today was the first day of school for the little boys. ES woke up feeling sick again and stayed home from school. I gave ES a dose of Prevacid (we'll see if this helps) and gave YS his Flovent treatment. MS, happily, chose normal clothes! I had laid out backpacks, supply bags and lunches the night before, so we were relatively close to being on time. I was worried that YS would have a hard time, but after delivering him to his class, I dashed back out to get the supply bags and when I returned he was already quiet, sitting in the teacher's lap.

By the time I returned from taking the little boys, ES felt better, so I took him to school. When I arrived at home, I walked to the mailbox to get the newspaper. What a glorious feeling of freedom. I was home alone, walking back to the house with the paper and thoughts of a warm cup of tea to accompany it. I almost did a little happy dance!

I spent the morning tackling the little boys' bedroom. The amazing thing? I didn't even mind it. I enjoyed it. I'm sure it helped that I didn't have little boys underfoot, pulling down every pile that I completed sorting, interrupting with requests for a video or a snack or a story. I even pulled up the rug and hand washed the hard wood floor in their room. I played my own music (Shania Twain was the choice for today - who knows what it will be next Thursday morning) instead of listening to Halloween songs or Disney songs.

They had a wonderful time at school and were even allowed to sit next to each other for lunch. I had a wonderful time away from them. We all three took glorious naps this afternoon. And, when my husband returned home from work, he packed up his things, grabbed MS's bag and headed to my in-laws house with MS (he is going to help my niece move into a nearby apartment tomorrow and Grandma will keep an eye on MS).

After a quiet dinner with ES and YS, I prepared them for bed, knowing that the little guy probably wouldn't go down by 8:30 as I had intended because he had taken a three hour nap. I had made arrangements with my neighbor to go out for ice cream after YS went to bed. ES told me I should still go. He said he would let YS watch a video until 9:30 and then put him to bed. I decided to give it a try. I took my cell phone and headed off.

What a glorious treat to come home and find both boys asleep in bed. The ice cream was sinful (a brownie topped ice cream treat), the conversation enjoyable, and the time in adult company was refreshing. Oh, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Things are beginning to speed up a bit. Maybe I'd better stop blinking so much now! I'm still licking my lips at the taste of freedom, though!