Boys are such BOYS!

There are times when I chuckle to myself and say, "I just don't understand boys." This afternoon, I chuckled in that way when I looked out the kitchen window while preparing a quick dinner for MS. ES was in the back yard with his friend, Ian. They had built a bon-fire and were holding sticks with burning tips. Suddenly, Ian put one to his pants to pretend that it was a part of his body. Of course, my son had to follow suit. I stood there wondering why boys feel such a need to do that all the time.

It didn't stop there. Next, they proceeded to whip their real parts out and pee on the fire. They put it out with their dual streams of urine. Even viewing it from afar, I could tell that this was a moment of triumphant accomplishment. What's up with that? When I mentioned it to my husband, he said, "Yep, they're boys all right!"

Now, there are other times when I don't chuckle when I say, "I just don't understand boys." Unfortunately, I had one of those moments this evening. As MS and I left for the Preschool Open House, I had to stop and yell at ES. He and Ian were in the go-kart and had driven across the street to our neighbor's fine circular driveway (I think ES views it as a mini-go-kart range).

Earlier this week, he tried that for the first time and I told him he must first seek their permission. He didn't bother to go ask, but that night, our neighbors arrived at our door with a treat brought home from England (their son lives in London and they went over to welcome their first granddaughter). I mentioned his actions and they granted permission any time he likes (this is their country house, where they keep their horses, so they spend much of their time in a different home in Indianapolis).

Last night, my husband had informed me that he cancelled that permission because he caught ES crossing the road from our house to theirs ... right in front of an oncoming car. Hubby said ES didn't even look. So, I leaned my head out the van window and reminded him that his father had forbidden this. He began to argue about it being the best smooth track. I reminded him why he lost the privilege. I should have instructed him to put the go-kart away. Alas, I was in a hurry to get going.

When I returned home, after a lovely time out with just my MS, I was greeted by my ES. He informed me that he and Ian had crashed the go-kart into a tree and wanted me to come see it. What? Did he think I was passing out awards for kids who could wreck a vehicle? Did he think I would ooh and aah? He took me around back, while explaining what led up to the accident.

"It was Ian's fault. He was driving and I was steering (WHAT?) and we came around the corner and instead of releasing the gas, he pushed on the gas and we went right into this tree! The steering wheel came off. This bar right here is bent a little bit. Oh, and this thing back here is kind of off place now."

I was furious. And he couldn't seem to figure out why. I began to launch into him. Last year, he was content to ride around the meadow. He was careful enough, we would let him take MS for a ride. At the beginning of the summer, my husband watched him carefully take YS for a ride.

In the last few weeks, things have gradually deteriorated. He started having friends come over and ride with him. They attached a sled to the back and would go go-kart sledding. This led to allowing other kids to drive it (something my husband and I had a few conversations about, but never came to a final agreement on).

Then, the boys discovered some sort of bee or hornet nest in the ground out in the meadow. They brought out fly swatters and would drive by swatting at the things. I expressed my grave concerns, but my husband said to let ES get stung to learn the hard way. Next, he began riding the go-kart down the hill in the back yard and up around to the front meadow (uneven terrain). Of course, the speed gradually increased. Then came the venture to the neighbor's driveway. And finally, tonight ... full speed, into a tree!

I tried to replay this video (of the gradual deterioration - not an actual video) so that he could see how his recklessness has increased and caused him to take bigger and bigger risks. He tried to shift the blame. It is HIS go-kart and HIS responsibility to drive it safely and HE bears responsibility if HE allows someone else to drive HIS go-kart. And, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING HAVING ONE PERSON STEER AND THE OTHER CONTROL THE GAS!!!!!!! Of course, ES felt that my husband didn't blow up nearly as much about the whole thing.

I informed him that he would be paying for the repairs and I'm also thinking the go-kart is no longer HIS! He lost the ownership, when he didn't take care of it properly. I had just been mentioning the go-kart to my nephew, Eric, and asking him to come visit so that he could take a ride on it.

When I asked my husband why ES thought his response was gentler, he suggested that it is probably because he is a guy himself and knows how guys think. He understands that boys think they are invincible. Boys think that nothing will ever happen to them. Boys think that a crash is cool. Boys think the experience is worth whatever ill comes as a result.

Well, I might just be my son's worst nightmare for a few days. I doubt I'll be able to change the way he's hard-wired. The thrill of the crash may still seem worth his mother's wrath, but I have to vent my inability to get my brain around this kind of behavior! Half of me is jumping up and down inside, thanking the Lord that both boys weren't injured in the accident. The other half is jumping up and down, fuming that they didn't at least get whip-lash to teach them a lesson!