Living Intentionally

While reading Nicholas Sparks' memoir, I was jolted by the death of his mother. She was finally getting a chance to live out some of her personal dreams (riding horses), when a tragic accident ended her life unexpectedly. She was only 47 years old! I stopped the CD. I had to digest this fact. 47! I'll be 47 in four years. His sister died at the age of 33. I've already been blessed with a decade more than that.

Of course, since contemplating this, I have been noticing obituaries in the Sunday paper (I only recently started getting the Sunday paper because I missed the coupons, but find that I end up reading the whole thing, even when I don't really have time). It was like I was receiving a news flash: people sometimes die in their 30s and 40s! Then, Amelia's friend Mariah died at the age of four and again, I found myself dwelling on what should be apparent - death can come at any time, for me or my children.

I deeply desire to live more intentionally. I want to savor the moments I'm being given, but I also want to make sure I'm focused on the joys instead of feeling driven by the responsibilities. I mean, think of it, if for some reason God chose to take me at age 47, my children would only be 5, 7 and 15. Who knows what tomorrow holds?

As I was viewing another of Coleman Larson's video clips (those twins are so adorable), the background music reinforced this thought. The lyrics were: "I'm going to live for today. I'm going to follow in Your way. I'm gonna let my little light shine like there's no tomorrow." I don't want my goal to be just getting through another day. I want to look back and really say that I lived these days.

If I pass away and I haven't pursued my dreams or made my life count or made a difference in someone's life, who will be to blame? It will be me. So hold me to this! I want to set goals. I want to make baby steps towards accomplishing them. I want to make as much of an imprint on the lives of my children as I can with each and every day I'm given. (I think ES is going to do what he can to make his days count as well - at least, he agreed to give LEAP a try! We'll see how that goes!)

It brings to mind a great song from Chris Rice's "Smell the Color 9" album called "Life Means So Much." (In heading to his web-site to look for the lyrics, I realize that he has some newer albums I'm going to have to request for Christmas!)

Life Means So Much by Chris Rice

Everyday is a journal page/Every man holds a quill and ink/And there’s plenty of room for writing in/All we do and believe and think/So will you compose a curse/Or will today bring the blessings/Fill the page with rhyming verse/Or some random sketchings

Teach us to count the days/Teach us to make the days count/Lead us in better ways/Somehow our souls forgot/Life means so much/Life means so much/Life means so much

Everyday is a bank account/And time is our currency/So no one’s rich, nobody’s poor/We get twenty-four hours each/So how are you gonna spend/Will you invest or squander/Try to get ahead Or help someone who’s under

Teach us to count the days/Teach us to make the days count/Lead us in better ways/Somehow our souls forgot/Life means so much/Life means so much/Life means so much

Has anybody lived who knew the value of a life?/And don’t you think giving his own Would prove the worth of yours and mine?

Teach us to count the days/Teach us to make the days count/Lead us in better ways/Somehow our souls forgot/Life means so much/Life means so much/Life means so much

Copyright 2000 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)