My Rants Justified

I really don't have time to read the newspaper. I prefer to snatch my news in bits over the Internet waves, but I have been spending more time in that pursuit since I signed on to receive the Sunday Indianapolis Star (somehow the deal includes Thursdays, too). Now, I'm feeling a smug sense of justification!

Last week's paper (I think this was the Thursday one), had a brief little blurb titled "Police: Applicant offered bribe." In reading it, I had to chuckle. It seems a 50 year old man offered a $500 bribe to an examiner because "he had been trying unsuccessfully since July to obtain a valid license." Apparently, the man forgot to bring his fishing license for further identification - ha! No, really, I hope that his failure was a reflection of poor driving skills and not merely bureaucracy. Although, my husband did inform me (after reading my rant last week) that here in Indiana it is called the BMV, not the DMV because it is the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. I suppose that is why they have to drag individuals through all the bureaucratic hoops! Their employees are all bureaucrats!

And, my other rant about Indiana (remember my rant about rural people dumping trash on our beautiful property instead of cherishing the pristine countryside?) was not merely a private problem either. In the Sunday, Sept. 14th, Indy Star, I read an article about the "Tons of trash pulled from White River." Apparently, over 1000 volunteers gathered last Saturday to help clean up the river. This is the brief listing of some items they extracted from the river:

1. a motorcycle


2. a refrigerator


3. socks


4. a car seat


5. lawn furniture


6. a cooler


7. a door


8. a paddle boat


9. half of a canoe


10. a parking block


11. a shopping cart

The article says that last year the cleanup, filled a 40 - cubic- yard trash bin with at least 3 tons of metal recyclables and 260 tires. I'm trying to understand this. Here's what my mind is seeing:

Moe: Hey, Joe! Want to have some cold fish tonight?

Joe: Yeah, that sounds like some good vittles. How we gonna manage that?

Moe: Well, here's my idea. If we push our fridge into the river, we're bound to have cold fish tonight, right?

And was the motorcycle driver parking at the parking block? Is he responsible for the shopping cart?

I have firm ideas about the "half of a canoe." You see, several years back, when my parents were living in South Dakota, we drove past the front half of a car. It was such a curiosity we had to stop and read the sign. I believe it said, "Just Divorced! Wife got her half!" I'm sure I snapped a photo. Knowing me, I probably still have it downstairs somewhere in one of my boxes of stuff. And on someone else's blog, they're probably ranting about darn pack-rats!