Besides our anniversary, my parents were due to celebrate their 60th anniversary in the middle of the month. Thus, my siblings and I tried to come up with an appropriate gift for such a significant achievement. My dad had talked about renting an RV and bringing my mom to visit each of us in our respective states. Despite his hunger to see all of us, it was a dangerous plan (given their recent health issues and my mom's dementia) and we prayed he would abandon the idea. In the end, we settled on a company that makes tribute videos for special occasions.
It should have been an easy and effective idea. Not so! We dithered about who should start and supervise the project. I only balked because I'm horrible with technology, but every other sibling is far busier than me. My sister took charge. Then, despite almost daily reminders, participants held off on sending in videos, right up to the deadline. The actual recording was as easy as opening their email, hitting record, deciding if you wanted to keep or redo, then clicking on done. Even a technological moron, like me, could easily handle that. I submitted four brief videos - the first, a greeting from John and me with Sean and Toby (revealing Sean's height as a 6 foot 14-year-old); the second, of Trevor showing off his convertible; the third, riding in the back of the convertible as Trevor drove; and the fourth, showing my mom my book room (I know she would have loved it when in her normal mind). We didn't make the deadline, and they didn't receive the video on their anniversary.
My sister tried to make it special by sending balloons, banners, and a Giordano's pizza (one of their favorites), but I think that celebration triggered more difficulties for my mom. Their day held a load of chaos, and I don't think they enjoyed the celebration. I tried to call, but heard them battling another disturbing escape attempt (my mom is desperate to visit her parents and my dad, instead of following the "dementia rules," insists on giving her the truth). Between mom's hospital visit for a fractured spine and dad's cancer scares and knee injections, they had their own challenging August.
In the meantime, my mother-in-law anticipated her trip to Texas to meet her first great-grandbaby. They decided that John's older brother Rick would accompany her. They arrived on Monday, August 16th, and had a wonderful dinner together with John's sister and husband, Martha and Phil, Martha's daughter and son-in-law, Sarah and Saul, and the baby of honor, Sophie. Martha sent this adorable photo of mom holding Sophie:
On August 17th, they headed to Las Cruces, NM, to enjoy lunch out. They were all walking from the vehicles to the restaurant (Martha, a nurse, walking behind my mother-in-law) when my mother-in-law slumped to the ground. Martha caught her fall and began CPR, but she died in an instant.
It was so sudden and unexpected. Many might say, "but she was 92!" Still, she was in perfect health. Indeed, she proudly relayed the doctor's words from her recent appointment: "you're healthier than people half your age." Not a thing wrong with her. Her knees gave her trouble, but no heart issues or high blood pressure. One minute she was walking along, enjoying her family, and the next she was meeting her Maker.
Despite our shock and grief, there are so many reasons for gratitude. She didn't die alone. Family surrounded her. She didn't experience pain. There and then, gone. She had just visited with many of us: the Texas family, Rick, our visit in early August, her granddaughter in Illinois, who had lunch with her every week. We didn't visit her often enough, but visited in a tent with her at Thanksgiving. Plus, she had spent a delightful Christmas with our family, and then another visit when Bryce came in May. I'm grateful we included her. For each visit, I experienced hesitations (at Christmas, because I didn't want to share my family gift opening time - yet my prayers were answered as she felt included and I didn't mind at all; in May, because I wanted Bryce all to ourselves - yes, I'm selfish, like that).
The timing was also an ironic blessing. We have been attempting to sell some of the family property but have hit snag after snag. Extensive presentations met with rejections by the town council. John has put in hundreds of hours on this process, all to no avail. My mother-in-law loathed the sale of the property. It brought her to tears. She had hoped and prayed that it wouldn't sell until she died. The very day she left us, the town council finally approved a proposal. Now the details of the land sale have given way to the many details that come after a death. The family asked us to write her obituary. I've never written an obituary.
I snagged this excellent FB photo of my mother-in-law, taken at her church the day after our August visit with her. Trevor replaced the distracting background with a neutral one. She was an extremely generous lady. Right until her death, she worked as a volunteer at the Daily Bread soup kitchen. She baked cookies to share with the men from the Salvation Army shelter. Her time, talents, and money, always spent in helping others. She never made you feel like anything was an imposition. For example, in April I found a beautiful sweater on clearance but it was too big. I bought it anyway (only a buck) and asked if she would alter it to fit me. She took it with her and had it ready for me when we visited her on August 7th. Whenever I wear it, I will smile and think of her.
Trevor experienced car issues in August. While driving home from his girlfriend's house, a fox ran alongside his car and then darted in front of him. With another car approaching, he couldn't swerve to miss impact. Here is the state of his car now:
Not long after that, the rear brake pads had to be replaced. Ugh!
August is ending on a pleasant note, though. Bryce had made plans to visit and attend one of Sean's football games for the last weekend in August. It was a real treat to have him home, even if only for a little over 50 hours. The game was a nail-biter. First the other team was up; then we scored but failed at the two-point-conversion. Then, each side managed another two touchdowns. At one point, they called Sean's name as having recovered a fumble (he later said he was merely on the pile). With only 4 minutes left in the game, our team pulled ahead. But the other team snuck in a long run, placing them ten yards from their goal with only seconds on the clock. Thankfully, we held them and our team won.
I'm so grateful that the coaches pray with the players. Few schools do that anymore. This is a photo (again from FB) after Friday night's game:
I took my own photo of Sean with Bryce, we returned home so Sean could clean up, and we all went out for lunch. Each of the boys headed off to gather with friends. John and I spent Saturday night watching the last installment of The Library Thief (a Swedish series, based on a true story, available on Hoopla) - a show I recommend, despite one compromising scene and a depressing ending. Very well done! Such a clear sign of what happens when a soul succumbs to greed and ambition.
We're still dealing with the fall-out of August 2021, but thankful for God's grace in the midst of it all.
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