Mid-month Mention: Hospitality and Building Community

I do not have the spiritual gift of hospitality. For several years, we invited my parents and sibling families to our spacious home just after Christmas. While I enjoyed the opportunity to see them all, the stress of making arrangements and meals always shattered me. One year, my sister attempted to alleviate that stress by insisting on making a huge meal of roast beef and yorkshire pudding. That year was even more stressful. I much preferred when we settled on an order from Papa Johns (although, one year, they assumed our large order of 8 or 9 pizzas was a prank call and we had to wait there while they actually filled the order).

Having said that, the Lord has been nudging me in this area. Not only did He direct me to my verse for the year (2 Corinthians 2:14: "Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."), but he is convicting me through others I'm encountering. I somehow stumbled upon a new-to-me author, Sue Donaldson, author of  Never Alone: The Power of Invitation and the Grace of Belonging in an Isolated World. I received a newsletter with a description of one of her "Wine Nights." It sounds amazing! She invites women into her home and stimulates conversation with great ice-breaker questions. You can purchase her question ideas in her book, Say Something Special: 252 Conversation Starters, The Ultimate Guide to Stimulating Table Talk. I hope to get a chance to read those books soon.

In the meantime, while I continue to pray for God's guidance on how He may be asking me to step out in faith, I keep discovering more encouragement. I recently followed a Rabbit Room substack article to a video lecture by Andy Patton (The Darkling Psalter). Patton's lecture, "The Lost Art of Community," is not only full of book recommendations and summaries, but also inspires hosptality and community building. I went in thinking I would skim the 28-minute lecture, but was riveted through the whole thing. He offers excellent analogies to flesh out his main points. He talks about subverting modernity, creating space with common agreement, accepting imposition for the sake of community, and the importance of propinquity (when circles of life overlap).

I am not at the point where I can foster a new community (many distractions of the unstable life with an addict), but I took note of his recommendations: 1) Start small, and 2) Gather around something. In brainstorming groups I would love to initiate, I think of several categories. The first obvious one is a desire to gather around books - perhaps start a new book club. The second, similar, is a desire to gather with other Christian writers - perhaps start a writer's group. The third, more practical and desperately needed on my end, gather with non-judgmental parents walking the difficult road with a wayward child. I realize all these categories already have groups in existence near me. However, that doesn't negate that niggle from the Lord. It may still be in developing stages within me. I may be too busy with the monumental task of preparing to downsize into a smaller residence. For now, I spend time in prayer and seek His wisdom and guidance.

If you're lonely and aching for stronger connections, if you're interested in building community, why not take a moment to explore Sue Donaldson's books or Andy Patton's lecture. They are sure to light a fire under any desires or convictions you might entertain. Who knows, this might be a tangible way to follow that verse from 2nd Corinthians. Every day, I pray to be a fragrance of the knowledge of Him. Maybe soon, he'll have me put feet and hands to the words.

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I wrote this post prior to our son's death. God has a sense of humor. He forced me to put feet and hands to words (although, I don't think anyone really expected much out of me - it is not like they were wanting me to stress about feeding all the relatives coming for the funeral, but even just making my home - so often in disarray - available for visiting is stressful to me). And, I suppose, he is giving me more time to focus on discerning where I could live out the verse in 2nd Corinthians.

Book Review: Five Mere Christians - Highly Recommend

How thrilling to find Five Mere Christians, by Jordan Raynor with Kaleigh Cox, available through Hoopla. The smaller free e-book about Fred Rogers whetted my appetite. I prefer my biographies intense and full of detail. Yet, this small book is one I would highly recommend reading. You may think you know the stories of the most famous individuals showcased here (Mr. Rogers and C. S. Lewis). I promise you will learn new perspectives and glean great insights.

The five mere Christians highlighted in this book include Mr. Fred Rogers, Fannie Lou Hamer, Ole Kirk Christiansen, Hannah More, and C. S. Lewis. Rogers, the famed television personality, emphasized service and slowing down (to "Fred time") in order to focus on others. The world is better off because he chose a pulpit with puppets instead of podiums. Civil rights activist Hamer provided an example to follow when confronting injustice. Her tenacity and unwillingness to resort to hate changed her state and nation. I knew nothing of Christiansen, the founder of the Lego company. What a testimony of faith under trial, commitment to excellence, and a quiet faith revealed while pursuing play! Recently, I encountered Hannah More in a women's biography devotional I am using this year. Her wisdom in marketing tracts and starting Sunday schools led many to know Christ. She worked alongside William Wilberforce fighting the slave trade in England. Finally, a well-known figure, C. S. Lewis, didn't think his work for the kingdom would last, but it outlived him and made him a household name in Christian circles.

I love the tight structure of these biographies. Each story is enticing and well-written. At the close of each section, the authors focus on 3 important points. This book does more than merely tell of interesting lives. It encourages readers to see opportunities to advance Christ's kingdom wherever personal passion and vision lead. In the section on Hannah More, they recommend readers reject isolation and embrace insulation. One example of isolation is only reading Christian books. Instead, seek insulation. A jacket insulates you from the cold so you can be out in the cold. 

I'd love to outline all these points because they made a significant impact. Instead, I'll encourage you to read the book and take notes, as I did. I will go back over those notes for daily pointers on attracting others to Christ for His kingdom through whatever I do (I don't have a specific job - even my mothering job is now defunct, with the youngest off at college). If you've never read a Jordan Raynor book, start with this excellent one. It is full of practical wisdom, packaged in story.

Prayer Update: Importunate Prayers

One thing I loved in P. T. Forsythe's book, The Soul of Prayer, was his insistence that importunate prayer is vitally important. What does the word "importunate" mean? It means "persistent to the point of annoyance or intrusion." The Bible urges us to petition persistently. God encourages and honors importunate prayers. Of course, our persistence relies upon His will and our acceptance that His will occurs in His perfect timing. But, God begs us to lay those precise and persistent prayers at His feet.

I came across an author/pastor named Scott LaPierre. After subscribing to his newsletter, I also happened upon a video of a sermon on importunate prayer that he preached a year ago. If you don't have time to listen, I'll summarize some points I gleaned. LaPierre emphasized we must be persistent and not give up. We must cry out to God day and night, recognizing that we are helpless to remedy our situation and are at the mercy of God's ruling. He cited Romans 12:12 (be constant in prayer), Ephesians 6:18 (pray at all times), and 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (pray without ceasing). Importunate prayer requires a receptive disposition toward God. We may be tempted to lose heart because it is hard work (a spiritual battle), but what a privilege to labor (Romans 15:30 - strive together, enter the fight in prayer to God on my behalf).

I will admit, my husband and I have not always prayed together. When we encountered our prodigal son's path and then entered the pandemic period, it propelled us to concerted prayer together. We don't pray together every day, but when we do, many of our prayers have been importunate prayers. Those we pray on behalf of our sons are perhaps the most importunate prayers of all. We do, indeed, pray for them day and night. We are, indeed, aware we are helpless to remedy the issues that sometimes plague our children. Thus, we surrender to God's timing and ruling in their lives, while begging for His mercy and His grace.

We can grow discouraged. Many things have not changed that desperately need changing. Yet we experienced recent confirmation of the validity of strenuously importunate prayer. We received an answer that blew us away. Despite full belief in God's ability to do the impossible, when it occurs, we cannot help but marvel and praise Him over and over again. Especially so, because so many elements of the answer lined up with the exact precision of our prayers.

Our oldest son is approaching marriage. He and his fiancée have a September wedding planned. Having grown up in the church, my heart ached for them to be married in Christ and to have a minister officiate the wedding. We earnestly prayed that a coworker would invite them to church, that they would go, and they might enjoy attending. We prayed this church would preach solid Biblical encouragement and guidance. We prayed that they might seek righteousness.

A few weeks ago, our son called and outlined some changes occurring in their lives. He said a coworker invited them to church and they've been going for two months. They took the membership class and even asked a pastor to officiate their wedding. That pastor required pre-marital counseling. In the counseling, the pastor confronted their cohabitation, and they agreed to make changes. Our son is splitting his time between two co-workers' homes until after the wedding.

John and I flew to Dallas this past weekend for a brief visit. The highlight of our time was our attendance with them at Eastside Community Church on Mother's Day morning. As we drove in the parking lot, attendants directed traffic. I'll admit, I was concerned it might be a mega-church where they water down God's Word to appeal to "what itching ears want to hear." (2 Timothy 4:3) Instead, we praised God for a powerful sermon with theological depth and a call to action to combat sin in our lives. 

The pastor addressed two weighty concepts: justification and sanctification. He likened it to the house-flipping shows, explaining that when you accept Christ's act on your behalf cancelling your debt of sin, it is justification and is equivalent to God taking ownership of the house (your heart). You now belong to Him. Yet, there is still much work to be done and often we balk at allowing God into the closets of our lives, where we desire to hold on to sin. Sanctification is like the renovation process. God moves in and cleans things out and beautifies them. He talked about how your inclinations and desires change, following Christ's example. He wants us to be holy, as He is holy, but that requires giving up sin that infests our lives.

I loved, too, that he preached from a passage about Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus dynamically altered his life after exposure to Christ. Greed gave way to giving. The pastor emphasized we are called to follow hard after Jesus, not after the crowd. This world encourages you to follow the crowd and its opinions. If you focus on Jesus and His commands, the crowd may call you "judgmental" or "unloving." It is always best to follow Jesus rather than the crowd.

The final blessing was when they passed around communion. After the pastor emphasized that those who have been justified are welcome to take part in communion, my son and his fiancée joined my husband and me in taking communion. God knows their hearts. May they continue to be drawn into deeper relationship with God. May they hunger and thirst for righteousness. May God continue to renovate and sanctify.

Oh, how I needed that affirmation of His ability to answer our laser-specific prayers! We continue to struggle with our prodigal. We plead for wisdom on how to address issues we cannot ignore. The other day I was reading in the Old Testament, the passage about Saul. In 1 Samuel 10:6 it says, "And the Spirit of the Lord will come upon thee, and thou... shalt be turned into another man." (KJV or in NIV it says "you will be changed into a different person.") Verse 9 says, "And it was so, that when he had turned his back to go from Samuel, God gave him another heart." That is my prayer for my son. I pray fervently that God might send the Spirit of the Lord to fall upon him and change him into a different person!! We offer audacious prayers, begging God to make him a soul-winner and a minister for the Kingdom. Do it again, God! "Is any thing too hard for the Lord?" (Genesis 18:14) "With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." (Mark 10:27)

Other prayer needs also persist. My mom entered the hospital with internal bleeding they could not address. They reduced it and sent her home, but told my dad to consider contacting hospice. She has grown difficult (at one point, refused to budge and sat down on the ground - because of my dad's heart surgery recovery, he had to call nurses to assist him in getting her up and into bed). For now, hospice comes in once a week to assess her, but at some point, my dad may need to place her in a facility where she can receive round-the-clock care.

My dad was rushed to the hospital earlier this week because of pressure in his heart that made him feel as if it were about to explode. Fearing clots, they placed him on blood thinners. They ended up doing emergency catheterization and placed two stents. In doing this, the doctor determined that all four bypasses have failed. During this time, my mother was in the apartment alone, with nurses checking on her occasionally. Before my sister could arrange to go down, he returned home from the hospital, but we are still awaiting an update on what further steps will be required down the road. It is so hard to be too far away to get there quickly or assist more fully.

Sean also had an episode of heart racing one night (keeping him awake until 2 a.m.). The doctor ran an EKG, but found nothing. However, blood tests said his kidneys were not functioning well. He stopped the NSAID and all supplements and it was back to functioning normally within two weeks. He is in physical therapy for the knee injury.

John has an upcoming follow-up appointment regarding his persistent bulge. I pray we will finally get some answers to this perplexing problem. 

I'll end this encouragement to importunate prayer with two things. First, I encourage you to invite someone to church. You never know. You might help answer someone's importunate prayer. Second, on a lighter note, I'll leave you with a photo of my youngest and his date for prom (another answer to prayer):

Book Review: Tactics

I've recently felt conviction about my intentionality in witnessing. We're most comfortable around those who are similar. If I'm only surrounded by like-minded believers, how will I lead anyone else to the truth of the gospel message? Thus, I listened to Gregory Koukl's book, Tactics: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions. Like another recent read about listening, I know I need to improve my listening skills. Koukl's tactics draw on the use of questions to guide discussion.

Some of Koukl's suggested questions: "What do you mean by that? How did you come to that conclusion? Why do you think that's how it happened?" By using questions, you can draw the individual out and learn where they are coming from. You need to know what their perspective is if you plan to advance a Christian perspective to them.

I took notes thoroughly from this book. The book is a series of lectures and I went into it as a student. I hope I retained some of the tactics offered (things like the suicide tactic, taking the roof off, and what a friend we have in Jesus tactic). I appreciated that Koukl's goal is to make you an ambassador for Christ, to teach you how to build a bridge to others. Another great take-away was Koukl's reminder we are not all harvesters. Sometimes your role is simply a gardener. Don't assume that your conversation with another will be that one conversation that leads them to salvation. Plant your seed and leave it to the Lord.

2023 Prayer Project Progress

Photo by Olivia Snow on Unsplash

The names in my bag continue to dwindle as I near the end of my 2023 Facebook Prayer Project. One individual, when I drew his name, replied, "Finally, I made it!" Ha! As of today, we are 4/5ths through the year. Because I had 377 Facebook friends at the outset of this project, I drew 8 names each week for the first 26 weeks and will draw 7 names each week for the last 26 weeks. One month out from praying for individuals, I send a quick message alerting them to the Bible verse I selected to accompany my prayers for them in their week. I also offer to place needs on my ongoing prayer list. The ongoing list has grown substantially, and this makes my heart glad. Often, people do not respond to my initial offer to pray for them. It could be they cannot think of a need. Perhaps they're not comfortable sharing significant needs. Perhaps they doubt I really pray for them. Whatever the case, they often later say, "Could you add this to your ongoing prayer list?"

I also ask for news of answers to prayer. Some are simple and small. One shared that time in God's Word had been beneficial for improving her mindset about her job. Another said she was feeling more at ease with her life and the people around her. Plus, I have heard answers to prayer for jobs, financial aid for schooling, and children plugged into church connections. Another shared that her mother's house sold in a week. One woman, after praying for a student, heard from that student out-of-the-blue. She wanted to connect about faith topics because her grandmother passed away, causing her to consider spiritual things. One very dear friend has experienced deep losses and walked a long and troubled path with prodigals. She needed a biopsy to check for cancer. Her results revealed it was benign!

When possible, I add the names of family members (spouse, children, grandchildren) to each 3x5 prayer card. This week I prayed for 125 individuals. Over time, the bulk of my praying has shifted to those ongoing needs. I suppose that is understandable. Those needs are clear and specific. Sometimes I have nothing to go by but the person's name. When the connection is tenuous (say, met at an event or friend-requested because they know my sibling), I have even less. Still, I pray for general needs (physical, emotional, and spiritual).

Prayer needs in my home have grown, as well. I continue to pray for each of my sons. Bryce has many work stresses. Trevor is seeking a more established job and an apartment. I pray for Sean's safety in football practices and games. For each of them, I ask God to counter the attractions of the world and draw them into a deeper relationship with God. My husband has not been sleeping well since May. We are not sure of the cause. But this, combined with many necessary home repairs, feels like a spiritual assault. In the beginning of October, I came down with the most horrendous head cold I've ever experienced (perhaps it was acute bronchitis). Of course, given his sleep loss, my husband caught it. As much as I complained about the intensity, his seemed ten times worse.

Plus, I feel the weight of the times. Every day we move closer to what I would consider the "end times." Developments seem to fall right out of scripture. With that, comes an urgency to do more witnessing to unbelievers. I joined a friend-forming group on Facebook and have tried to make it to several of their events (games, movies, bingo). It is like watching an hourglass emptying. The sand flits through so fast. Before we know it, our time may be up. Where will you spend eternity?

Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash