Book Review: Send for Me

My German grandmother immigrated to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with her family as a young girl. I don't have many memories of her. Most of my memories come from a two-week spell when she watched me and my younger brother while our parents traveled to England. My other three siblings went to my paternal grandmother (always a warm, welcoming woman who stocked chocolate milk and homemade cookies whenever we visited). She was nurturing, but my parents were reluctant to ask her to take on five children. They probably assumed I (at 12) could take care of Tim (2). 

I'm sure it was difficult for my grandmother to host us. We, no doubt, threw her entire existence into an uproar. Widowed for nine years already, instead of cooking for one, she had a regular schedule of restaurants for each day of the week. I remember she complained when we didn't eat all our food (yet she always had Tupperware in her purse to remedy this problem). At one point, Tim closed the small folding cot on me and she had to rescue me. She had painful bunions and limited patience. I know she tried to entertain us. She took us to a 4th of July fireworks demonstration. Unfortunately, terrified, Tim flailed and screamed. This didn't go down well with her, despite my attempts to remind her he was just a baby and couldn't help being afraid. I was relieved when my parents arrived to fetch us back home.

My sense was that she was a brisk German woman who expected much and tolerated little. I'm guessing she spoke a combination of German and English while my mother was growing up, because my mother passed down a smattering of German phrases, like "Ach, du lieber ganzen (oh, you lovely goose)," and German songs (Mein hut es hat drie ecken, drie ecken hat my hut, und had es nicht drie ecken, dann var es nicht mein hut - My hat it has 3 corners, 3 corners has my hat, and had it not three corners, it would not be my hat).

All of that to explain why this Lauren Fox book, Send for Me, resonated with me. It is a multi-generational tale of the love and conflict between mothers and daughters. Klara (type A) is quite impatient with her dreamer of a daughter, Annalise. Although they work together at the family bakery in Feldheim, Germany, their bond is simultaneously fierce and flimsy. As Annalise grows up, marries, and has a daughter of her own, the climate in the country grows threatening for this Jewish family. Annalise manages to emigrate to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but cannot escape the traumas associated with this perilous time. Her daughter, Ruth, has a daughter, Clare. Clare is on the cusp of committing to a relationship when she finds Klara's letters to Annalise.

What I loved: hearing the native German pronunciations from the expert narrator, Natasha Soudek; exploring the ideas of motherhood and the mother-daughter bond; imagining the intensity of what the Jews faced. What I disliked: Klara was cold and bitter; Clare was loose and disconnected; the author's use of present tense felt awkward. Still, I really enjoyed this audio book. It is definitely one I would recommend to German Americans.