Book Review: What Happened to You?

While skimming the shelves for another audio book, I stumbled upon this excellent book. My upbringing was not traumatic. I had loving, committed parents who provided an outstanding example. My home was full of books, siblings, and love. Our family involvement in the church gave my life structure, purpose, and solidity. However, I cannot say my childhood was without traumatic experience. My week-long bout with double pneumonia, and the ensuing 64 shots I received in the space of eight days, has lingered in my psyche to color all of my medical experiences. This lured me into the subject of this book.

I loved the conversational style of What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. Authors Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry talk back and forth about these issues with both first-hand knowledge and life-long research. Case studies flesh out their findings. This is a must-read for educators and therapists. It is so important for people to be aware of the impact trauma has on individuals and how it can shape behavioral and emotional responses to life's challenges. Trauma-informed treatment is essential for individuals who have experienced trauma in the early years of life. Healing is only possible when you ask that question: "What happened to you?" The authors attempt to shift the frequent response of "What's wrong with you?" and "Why are you behaving that way?" to the gentler and more important question.

So many of the stories were touching and tragic. Receiving love is essential for giving love. Chaos creates more than an uncomfortable environment. It makes it difficult for children to learn necessary life lessons to respond adequately to challenges in their lives. As I listened, I wondered about my own abilities, and my prodigal son's abilities, to self-regulate. I came away with so much to contemplate and process. As Oprah expressed, "Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed." We all have wounds from our pasts, trauma or not, and everyone has a story to tell that has shaped and influenced their life. If handled appropriately, our stories reap benefits alongside the challenges. Oprah would be the first to say she wouldn't be who she is without what happened to her.

Both authors offer excellent narrative abilities. Oprah's voice is especially easy to listen to and full of poignant expression. As I completed the book, sitting in my car waiting for Sean to come out from his football practice, I teared up several times. First, at the story of her awkward acting session when asked to "tuck a child in," and her realization that she had no such experience to draw upon. What a tragic loss! My heart ached for her. Second, the scene at her mother's deathbed. I listened to that portion just hours after receiving news of my mother-in-law's death. Sean was due to come out bursting with news about his school day and his practice. After waiting for him to share, I painted a picture of her last day. I'm sure Oprah's story and voice will forever be tied to the memory of that day.