Mid-month Mention: Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt

I went back and forth on whether to post this. Only my regular blog visitors will read in time to join in the fun. Yesterday, I learned of a scavenger hunt put together by Christian fiction writers. Their goal is to expose the reader to more Christian authors and expand newsletter participation. I am all for this! What a thrill to discover more authors writing wholesome books. I spent a good chunk of time yesterday morning pursuing a third of the scavenger hunt websites and clues. Now, I've signed on for a handful of author newsletters. I'm eager to explore more today, but the deadline for completing the scavenger hunt is very near. Complete the hunt by tomorrow (4/13/25) at midnight (Mountain time) in order to be entered for a chance at five top grand prizes.

Lisa Tawn Bergren, an author I had never heard of, is the first stop on the scavenger hunt. Once you visit this page on her website, you will find the instructions for participation and the first clue for the scavenger hunt. Making note of it, you follow the link to the second author on the scavenger hunt, Gabrielle Meyer, another new-to-me author. Of the first third of author participants, I had read 3 authors before. What a wonderful idea! You have chances to win prizes. If you sign up for newsletters, you even receive some free reading materials. This is a great introduction to authors (although, I fear I will sign on for too many newsletters and find my inbox inundated)! I had a wonderful time reading each entry (many full of tid-bits of historical details I'd never encountered).

If you participate in the scavenger hunt and find new authors to explore, let me know. I'd love to hear what authors you found enticing in this array of Christian writers. If you miss out on this current opportunity, don't worry. It appears the scavenger hunt is available twice a year. I assume if you visit Lisa Tawn Bergren's website and search for "scavenger hunt" you may be able to figure out approximately when the fall hunt is slated. I intend to keep my eye out anyway.

Mid-month Mention: Preparing for Advent

 

I'm not a strict Advent observer. Most years, I merely purchased the $1-1.50 chocolate Advent calendars available at Aldi. My boys loved eating their tiny dose of chocolate first thing in the morning, as we counted down the days until Christmas. I know there are families who make a far bigger production of it (reading a book of the Bible as they count down days, opening a new religious picture book each day for the first 2 dozen days of December, reading specific Advent devotionals). This year, I want to invest time each day in prayer, to count down the days until we celebrate Christ's birth.

With only one left at home (and a senior in high school, at that), I don't foresee this being a family activity. Still, I wanted to take time in mid-November to offer some suggestions of things I found online to aid in my approach to this coming Advent season.

1) Free Advent Templates - I discovered a website called Praying in Color. You can find a variety of Advent calendar templates as you contemplate ways to celebrate anticipatory days in December. I already pray daily for Facebook friends as a continuance of my 2023 Facebook Prayer Project. Thus, I may select an Advent-related word to focus on. I've also printed one of the blank block ones off for Sean and Claire to see if they want to come up with a calendar of activities.

2) Specific Daily Prayers - Perhaps I'll choose a specific prayer for each of the 24 preliminary days. The following 5 blogs offer prayers I might use:

• One Prayer a Day blog by Bob Hostetler - This is a blog I have followed sporadically for a long time now. Bob is a great guy, an author friend, and a man of prayer. His daily prayer blog is well worth following even outside of the advent season. (My favorite of his many books is The Bard and the Bible, recently re-released as The Shakespeare Devotional - in case you might be searching for an outstanding daily devotional as we approach a new year. Great Christmas gift idea!) 
• Time With Our Creator blog - Although this blog doesn't seem current (last post in 2023), I appreciated the most recent post with a prayer for casting all our anxieties on the Lord. How thrilling to see a Salvation Army song referenced in the post (Lt. Col. E. H. Joy's "All Your Anxiety"): "Is there a heart o'erbound by sorrow? Is there a life weighed down by care? Come to the cross, each burden bearing; All your anxiety - leave it there. All your anxiety, all your care, Bring to the mercy seat, leave it there, Never a burden He cannot bear, Never a friend like Jesus!" - visit this Hymnary page for the music and lyrics to this beautiful song. What a blessed reminder that I can leave my many current burdens at the feet of our Savior!
• Prayer-coach blog by Kevin Shorter - With a variety of prayer tips and helps, this blog offers several prayer lists that I might use (I may send this list of things to pray for addicted loved ones to my son).
• Prayer and Possibilities blog by Kathryn Shirey - Kathryn provides another idea: writing daily letters to God
• The Daily Prayer blog - This blog, offering a thought and a prayer, has been available as long as my blog (both started in 2008). Daily is a misnomer, as it seems the prayers are over several days, but I think they are beneficial and might be useful in this endeavor.

Mid-month Mention: Writers and a Writers Conference

I'm not a big subscriber to newsletters. I only subscribe if my interest in the author's newsletter is strong. Plus, I would say a deal-breaker for me is an author who provides recommended reading titles. Jordan Raynor gives one noteworthy recommendation to close his weekly newsletter. I may skim through the devotional, but I always take time to consider the book suggestion. Jordan highlights non-fiction suggestions. You can visit his website and sign up for his newsletter if you want a weekly faith and work devotional along with a Christian non-fiction book recommendation.

In February, I entered a giveaway and encountered D'ann Mateer. She lives in Texas, just a stone's throw away from my son, Bryce. Her blog posts must have reeled me in because I signed on for her newsletter. She offers extensive reading recommendations and regular giveaways. In fact, it looks like now, if you sign up for her newsletter, you receive a free short story from her. That was not the case when I signed on. In addition, I trust her to recommend clean reads. Since she often highlights World War II novels, I forwarded her information to my sister, but I don't think she was up for more mail in her overflowing in-box. A few days ago, D'ann sent a book recommendation for an enticing book on Lewis and Tolkien. This month's newsletter highlighted a blog post about things she has learned about writing.

Learning more about writing is always on my mind. I've taken on-line courses and read books. But, when I lived in DeKalb, IL, my writing group often tried to take an annual trip to attend the Write-to-Publish Conference in Wheaton, IL. This was, perhaps, my favorite educational excursion. Oh, the laughs we had on the shared drive over and back. I attended two or three times while we lived in IL and have been once since we moved to IN. The only other similar conference I attended, was a one day meeting of the Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators in a quaint town in Wisconsin (where I tried to pitch my rhyming children's book, Recipe for Stew).

The Write-to-Publish Conference is under new leadership, now owned and managed by the Christian Writers Institute. It takes place at Wheaton College from June 13-16, 2023. If you wish to get in on the reduced rates, you must register by May 31st. Of course, the best approach is to pay for full registration, which includes all sessions and meals, plus 2 one-on-one meetings with key editors/agents, and a Friday night concert by Michael Card. 

I can't afford to invest in the full experience this year. Last time I attended for one day, so I considered doing so again. The full fee is $600, while the daily fee is a little over $200. Instead of 2 meet-ups with editors/agents, you only secure one. Plus, in viewing the schedule, the sessions I am most interested in fall on the final day - Friday. This poses a problem. In the past (although I don't know if this is still the method), you signed up for the slots at the outset of the conference. This would mean, by arriving Friday, all the slots will be gone and I will not make my hoped-for connections.

The most important benefit to attending a conference is making connections. You can connect with publishers and befriend other writers who may become cheerleaders for your writing goals. The last time I attended for one day, I did not pay for the meals (then, a separate fee) and thus didn't have those prime opportunities to sit with and talk to other writers or faculty members. A conference is an opportunity to network, learn, and grow as a writer. But there are key things to do to improve these results.

The first thing I always do is review which manuscripts I wish to pitch to editors or agents. Next, I study the faculty line-up. I get to know them and their manuscript interests. Then I write a list of individuals who might show an interest in what I'm pitching. The truly hard part is snagging time to make an elevator pitch (a one to two-minute hook to grab interest). If you cannot secure a one-on-one session, you must seek other opportunities in a natural and unobtrusive way. This is where meals were helpful, yet four or five other writers may be there wanting to pull the ear of the faculty member as well.

Once my game plan is in place, I skim the sessions on offer. I try to select topics that will improve my chances of meeting my writing goals. For Friday's first workshop, I'm torn between "The Formation and Execution of a Publishable Idea," and "Writing with God: Creating Spirit-led Content That Resonates, Maintaining Healthy Expectations, and Building an Unshakable Faith for Your Journey." For the second workshop, I'm torn between "The Most Common Mistakes Authors Make When Developing and Pitching Their Book Project," and "Writing to a Felt Need That Publishers Will Want to Publish and Readers Will Want to Read." This year, the plenary speaker is Dr. Leland Ryken, father of the current Wheaton College president and my former professor (I love his wry style). The evening speaker is Jerry B. Jenkins.

I'm noticing many changes to the structure and execution of the conference. Instead of meeting in the Billy Graham Center, they will hold sessions in the Beamer Center. This will be different. In the past, they offered a manuscript critique included with the conference fee. One year, the initial pages of one of my young adult novels netted a request for submission. That was exciting. Now, instead of providing a critique, the conference fee includes a copy of this year's Christian Writers Market Guide. They also used to offer a time for fellow-writer critiques. These sessions occurred after the evening program and provided a chance to read a bit of your work aloud and receive feedback. It seems to me there are hundreds of attendees and limited numbers of faculty meet-ups (were those one-on-one sessions previously ten minutes long, to accommodate more people?). Surely, they'd all be gone by the time I arrived on the final full day, so maybe my plan isn't productive. Still, if this is just the thing you need to jumpstart your writing career, check it out! 

Book Review: The Antelope in the Living Room

I like Melanie Shankle. She's genuine, vulnerable, and funny. I'm so glad I purchased this brief audio book when Christian Book Distributors had a recent dollar sale. Yep, I got it for a buck (along with 11 other books, videos, and miscellaneous items my husband believes we never needed). Plus, in purchasing this, I discovered she is a San Antonio blogger and has a new book of essays encouraging readers to look for the good in others. Here's a link to her blog.

The Antelope in the Living Room: The Real Story of Two People Sharing One Life is a breath of fresh air when cooped up together, sheltering-in-place with different perspectives on what that should look like. Let's just say I had to put off listening to this for a few days because I was in no mood to reflect on marital bliss. But, frictions blew over, life went on, and I ditched the music CDs to get back to listening to a book while walking (an option already challenged with my library's closure and my CD player's demise - it was skipping even when playing brand new CDs, so it is not a case of over-used discs causing the interruptions). I appreciate how Melanie can inspire laughter one moment and serious reflection the next. Plus, I agree with her conclusion - despite the bumps along the way, it is better to do life together than to go it alone or to throw in the towel when tempers flare and you feel you may never want to speak to your spouse again. Besides, I should count my blessings: we have woods on our property and yet my husband hasn't once gone hunting and brought home an animal head to mount in my living room.

Book Review: An Ocean, an Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses

One of the great joys of blogging is meeting fellow travelers along the road who share similar loves and lives. I have several blogging friends with all sons and several who share my joint passions of books and boys. I cannot remember precisely how I met Maria Novajosky (known in comments as Bia). Perhaps it was through Rachel Balducci's mommy blog Testosterhome (for her excellent video on mothering boys, click here - I especially benefited from the 7:10 minute point, where she talks about asking God to show you the positive side of the strong challenging characteristics in your sons). Or perhaps it was through another mommy blog I used to follow regularly (this mom had 10 kids, lived on a beautiful mountain, and wrote fascinating posts, yet I haven't visited it in years). Maybe she saw one of my comments on another blog (back in the day, I used to stay up until 2 a.m. reading and responding to blog posts). But we connected easily because she has three sons, contemplates spiritual subjects, and is a writer. Visit Maria's blog, La Dolce Vita: The Sweet Life With Three Sons, for bits of poetry (infinitely better than mine), dashes of son love, contemplations on faith, and musings on Southern hospitality.

When I discovered Maria had published a book, I was both green and greedy. I wanted it, but was trying to cut back on book-spending. Thus, I waited until Christmas and put it on my list for my husband (not always a sure bet). Thankfully, it was under the tree and even made my list of top gifts of the season.

An Ocean, An Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses is a love letter to family and faith, to tradition and travel. In the book, we meet Maria's dear Nonna, who embodies faith, food, Italy, letter writing, and love. What a rich heritage Maria has! What a blessed life she's lived! And the reader gets to pull up a chair, pour a glass of wine, open a jar of Nutella, and get to know her more intimately. I would love to join one of her tours of Italy (she takes groups of women and shares her beloved Nonna's mother country) or even sit on her back porch in Georgia and pass hours talking about God's marvelous blessings.

Every time I pass this local restaurant sign, I think of Maria and her love of Italy and Nutella:

Book Review: I'd Rather Be Reading

Blogging is like attending a special art party, where all the people in the room connect through their love of a particular artist. When you find the blogging niche you most enjoy, you can often find other bloggers who share your passions. I love the friendships I've made through blogging. I can think of a slew of women I don't actually know, yet they feel like true friends because their blogging interests provide a sense of kinship. Through blogging I met Catherine of A Spirited Mind and joined her in-real-life book club. I made friends with other mothers raising sons, like Lucy, who blogs at Life is a Spasm Who Flow (you must check out her blog to make sense of that title) and Amy, who blogs at The English Geek. I think it was through Catherine that I discovered Sheila of The Deliberate Reader, and through Sheila, I heard of Modern Mrs. Darcy (although, I can't say I've been a regular visitor there).

I'm sure when I requested I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life from my library, I had no clue about the author, Anne Bogel. But when I sat down to read the book, I was delighted to see it was written by the creator of Modern Mrs. Darcy. Although we are a fair space removed (kind of like that parlor game, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon), I wanted to claim her as a blogging friend, as well. Indeed, she speaks of just such a sentiment in her book, when she created a bookshelf specifically for friends who've written books and extended the category to authors she'd like to have as friends.

The book is sure to delight any bibliophile as she outlines the common maladies we face (like all our holds coming in at the library at the same time) and the shared euphoria we feel (being first in line for a long-awaited sequel in a series). I loved the size and shape of the book (perfect for gifting), along with the bookshelves adorning the cover. I loved the name-dropping of titles (most I could relate to; several I may have to add to my own endless to-be-read list). If reading is your thing, join Modern Mrs. Darcy in contemplating what makes reading so special.

My Ten-Year Blogiversary

Hard to believe it was ten years ago today that I began my blogging journey! I remember lying in bed trying to think up a suitable name for my blog. Focusing on what I wished to blog about - primarily two things, my boys and the books I read - I settled on the name "Of Books and Boys" and haven't regretted the choice or looked back with a moment of regret. Indeed, at my writer's group this past month, I was asked for the name of my blog and I explained that I should perhaps change the name now since I seldom write about my boys any more (they have grown to an age where they no longer provide me with hilarious anecdotes to share and would probably be mortified if I did share anecdotes about them). Still, I will keep the name with its Steinbeck associations and its clear summary of the focus of my life.

I went back to view my very first post, a brief, barely-edited description of my middle son's great love of Bath and Body Works soap - "Of Boys and Soap." I had several thoughts as I read the initial blog posts from January of 2008. At the outset of my blogging, my husband insisted that I blog anonymously, even to the point of wanting me to label my sons, ES (eldest son), MS (middle son) and YS (youngest son). Thankfully, over time, he relented and I now use their names freely. I also laughed because I just received another shipment of Bath and Body Works soaps, including Warm Sugar Vanilla. My younger boys continue to be big fans and I do relent and spend money on their soaps when I can find them at sale prices of $3.50 or less. In an early book review post, I mentioned reading the first Little House book to the younger boys in January of 2008. They were 3 and 1! But the biggest observation I can make is that I have grown so much as a writer through this simple process of blogging.

When I first began blogging, I did so with abandon. I wrote 28 blog posts in the month of February 2008 and 250 in the first year. I cannot imagine keeping up that pace now, since I seldom have anecdotes to share and would never have enough time to read 250 books in a year. Still, knowing how much my writing has improved encourages me to continue this little exercise, even in moments when I think to myself, "who really cares about what you are reading or your opinions on what you are reading?" Truly, even if nobody read my blog posts, I would continue to write them because I gain so much from the exercise in articulating my thoughts and opinions. I have met other bloggers through the process. I have honed the skill of summarizing a book in a sentence or paragraph (the most crucial part of a query letter to agents/editors). I have a tangible in-depth analysis of my reading habits, as well as documented memories of my times with my boys. The posts have served as a memory capsule for all those moments, big and small, in a decade of raising sons. Their worth cannot be measured.

So, as I look back over a decade of blogging (and review a few of the 1525 posts I have written up to this point), I pledge to continue this writing endeavor. A few of my favorite general posts and book review posts are listed at the bottom of my blog. Who knows, maybe I will spend even more time reviewing previous posts and come up with a list of favorites to have bound in book-form.

May the next ten years provide even more blogging fodder and greater improvements in my writing skills. Every word brings me closer to the goal of publication (indeed, my blogging efforts must have made some dent in what Malcolm Gladwell calls the "ten-thousand hour rule," the idea that it takes ten thousand hours of deliberate practice to achieve success in any field). But, even if I never reach that elusive goal, I will look back on my blogging efforts with satisfaction. There is a joy in writing for writing's sake alone just as there is joy in living, even if one doesn't accomplish anything of note.

"We write to taste life twice - in the moment and in retrospect." - Anais Nin

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others:

read a lot and write a lot." - Stephen King

"The only writer to whom you should compare yourself

 is the writer you were yesterday." - David Schlosser

"You fail only if you stop writing." - Ray Bradbury

Needing a Good Laugh?

I've been in sore need of a good laugh lately and I'm happy to say I've found it. Someone on Facebook linked to an article about raising teenage boys. The article was written by a woman who is the mother to four boys (how well I can relate). I couldn't help but peruse more of her posts once I discovered her blog. I about fell off my chair reading her recent post for Mother's Day. I know it is almost Father's Day, but you mothers out there will get a gigantic chuckle out of Melissa's post aimed at fathers everywhere.

Then, because I love her sense of humor so much, I liked her on Facebook, which means I get to see what she posts and let me tell you, she is a laugh a minute. So she linked to a site where someone posts things found on Pinterest which are absolutely ludicrous. The site is called Pinterest You Are Drunk and I could. not. look. away. I must have viewed almost a hundred pages. The titles and tags are beyond perfect. I was laughing so hard at a few of them (deer butt doorbell with the tags "doorbells I won't be ringing," and "deer God, no"; knit skeleton, complete with entrails and innards; a useless crocheted umbrella; a wonder woman costume to make your head turn; a wedding dress made out of diapers; and an elderly couple made out of yarn with the tag "no nudes is good nudes") that my husband came over to see what was possessing me to snort so violently. You look at these things and you think ... really, just really?

So, if you're in need of a good laugh, fill your cup today. Yes, you're welcome. It did wonders for my disposition, too.

Clever Elf on a Shelf Scenarios

I'm not a big fan of Elf on the Shelf myself.  We tried it and I found it tiresome to try to come up with clever new places to hide the elf (we didn't purchase the real deal, but used something similar to stand for the elf ... I think it was a bear on a rocking horse) on a daily basis. If only I'd had a little help from these creative minds ...

I have a friend who posted pictures of her naughty elf last year on Facebook, doing things like binging on candy. It was fun to watch. If I were participating, this is the idea I would steal:

(From Say It, Don't Spray It)

This is the one my boys would appreciate the most:

 

(From Jennifer Saintz Photography)

 

 

And here's a hilarious one that a friend alerted me to on Pinterest:

 

 

(from www.clearlycandace.blogspot.com)

 



Amazing Baby Art to Bless Your Halloween

(Photo from boredpanda.com)


This was too cute to miss passing on (although, chances are you caught it elsewhere on the web, since it is quickly going viral):

www.viralnova.com/sleeping-baby-photos/

Visit it!  You won't be sorry.  My favorite two were the ones with the baby in the claw machine and with the baby atop a stack of books!  Which were your favorites?

Apparently, there are over a hundred photos of the baby in fairy tale-esque scenes and the artist, Queenie Liao, has created a book called Wengenn in Wonderland, but I couldn't find a link to any book by that title.  Give it time, though.  It will definitely hit stores one day!  What talent!

======

For a video slide show with even more of the photos visit: http://sobadsogood.com/2013/10/27/mum-turns-babys-naptime-into-a-magical-adventure/

Free Books for Review

I've been mentioning recently this new website I've discovered called "Story Cartel."  The idea is that you are able to download books for free as long as you agree to write a review.  I'm super excited because I just learned that Dalaina May's wonderful book, Yielded Captive, is available for free for the next 20 days if you are willing to write a review of the book after reading it.  You can see from my review here that I really loved this book.  If you are interested in reading Dalaina's excellent story of a missionary taken captive in the jungles of Peru, then you can head here and sign up for Story Cartel yourself.  Yippee!

Disillusioned But Plugging On

Blogging

I've been asked to give a workshop on blogging at a women's retreat.  Preparing for it has made me somewhat disillusioned.  For starters, I'm feeling very unqualified.  My blog is hardly what I would define as successful.  Even though it meets my own expectations for my purposes in blogging, it doesn't attract much of an audience.

As I began to prepare my materials for the class, I decided to google some information about blogging.  According to Wikipedia, as of February 16, 2011, there were 156 million bloggers.  I'm pretty sure it must be over 200 million by now. One measly little book blog is like a single star in the Milky Way in such a scenario. It makes my efforts seem insignificant.

But, I don't plan to stop blogging (nor will I pass on the opportunity to teach others how to begin blogging).  I'm still convinced there is merit in what I do.  It continues to be a method for honing my writing skills.  It allows me a chance to voice my opinion about books I am reading and document my reactions to those books.  Moreover, I need a place to express myself (whether there is only one person listening - my mother - or more). In my isolated existence, the opportunity to set down words and hurtle them into the blogosphere is like a drop of water to a thirsty soul (although my brain still niggles that it is, perhaps, a mirage and not really providing the sustenance I truly need).

When I think about the blogs I enjoy visiting, I generally select small-time blogs written by women who are very like me - women who love books and are busy raising a family.  I am drawn to writers who provide me with further books to explore and who share the ups and downs of their own lives without putting a fine gloss on the stories or trying to appear better than the next person.  I'm drawn to authentic writers who are willing to put themselves out there and whose posts tend to encourage me in some way.  So that is what I will try to do.  I will continue to blog.  I will attempt to provide information on books others might select based on my recommendations.  I will seek to be relevant in what I share, while also attempting to share honestly, without arrogance (some of those immensely popular blogs wax arrogant quickly).

Parenting a Teen

Yesterday, I had a rare opportunity.  Bryce requested an I-Phone for his birthday present.  In order to upgrade from his current AT & T phone, he had to bring a parent along to sign for the required two-year contract.  Originally, my husband was supposed to accompany him, but he got held up at work yesterday and Bryce was loathe to wait another day to get his coveted phone (patience is not a strong suit for my two older boys).

Thus, we headed off in his car, with Bryce behind the wheel.  It was an amazing opportunity because I so rarely get one-on-one time with my oldest son.  Between his school and social schedules, not much time is left over for family (nor does he really wish to spend much time with his little brothers or his parents).

Suddenly, I had a captive audience (we were in the car for over an hour and he wasn't listening to his music while driving). We talked about many things ... his college and career aspirations, my own career aspirations (or the lack of clarity for my career aspirations), upcoming vacations and his desire to bail because it would mean three days stuck with his little brothers, my difficulty with spending money (I lost it in the store when the clerk explained how much the plan would cost - I insisted he call his father to okay the expense - Bryce insisted Dad would be fine with it ... and he was), and Bryce's hopes for the future.

As he talked, he explained that he hashes out his career aspirations a lot with his best friend's father.  This makes sense.  He spends a good deal of time at his best friend's house (where there are no younger siblings around to pester and annoy and where there is a perfect teen hang-out in the basement, as opposed to our house dynamics where everything is out in the open and Bryce's room is connected to the living room where the little boys tend to hang out). But hearing him talk about his conversations with this other dad made me feel sad and disillusioned.

I began to wonder if things would have looked different if we hadn't gone on and had the two younger boys.  Would we have more communication between us if they weren't in the picture (not that I'm wanting to wish them away)? Is it just a teenage thing to avoid family involvement and to seek out the opinions of peers and their parents?  Are we missing out on something that we should be enjoying (a closer relationship with our oldest son)?

I have no complaints about Bryce.  He is a great kid.  He is respectful and never gives us a lick of trouble.  He shares his successes with us and we cheer him on.  But, he is somewhat closed off. And, I'll admit it, I'm jealous of the conversations he has with his friend's father.  I want to be his sounding board.  I had a small chance yesterday and I am grateful for those few cherished moments.

I guess I'll just have to keep plugging away at trying to be there for him and drawing out what little conversation I can get with my teenage son. I'll seek out as many of those spontaneous opportunities for together-time as I can.  I'll continue to offer to take him out to his favorite restaurant (one of the few tactics that sometimes works).

And I guess I'm already thinking ahead. I want to create a space in this house (perhaps the basement) where my two younger boys can invite their friends.  I want to become the hang-out place for their peer group. I want to have the best snacks and the most inviting location.  Then, perhaps I will open up a doorway for communication with my teenagers and their friends.  If I can't provide that for my oldest son, perhaps I can get there by the time my 6 and 8 year olds are 13 and 15.

So, despite feelings of disillusionment, I plan to keep on plugging away.  I want to see a goal and do all I can to reach it.  I don't want to remain rooted in this moment of disillusionment.  Instead, I want it to propel me to seek better things for the future.  I'll acknowledge that things aren't exactly as I'd like them to be, but I can still give my best.  I'll keep on blogging and keep on trying to nurture a close relationship with my teen, despite times when it looks like I'm not even making a dent.

It's My 5-Year Blogiversary

Five years ago today, I wrote my first blog post about my middle son's fixation with Bath and Body Works' "Banilla Soap."  Some time during my first year of blogging, one of my real blogging friends (and one who started my wheels churning about starting my own blog) commented that it seemed like I was on a goal to make it to 1000 posts in record time.  I have noticed that, like many other bloggers, the number of posts for each year have steadily declined over the years.  Will I one day open my blog to find I am only posting 50 times a year?  Who knows.  For now, I'm determined to slog on.  I have no grand illusions of blogging every day or of becoming a blogging sensation.  My goals aren't that lofty.  I just want to document the books I read and the boys as they grow.  I want a place to process some of my deeper thoughts.  I want to store the day-to-day, so I can review it (as I did this morning).

I went back over my blog-posts and wrote down the ones which secured the most views.  These aren't my favorite posts.  Perhaps I'll do a post about those some day, but for now, here is a compilation of the book reviews and general posts which were among my most-read (with most popular at the top of each list):

Books:

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
Dear Author
Who Switched Off My Brain
Chronicles of Narnia Series
Runaway Twin
Whole-Brain Child
Life Without Limits
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Dying to Meet You
Confessions from the Principal's Chair
Hormones: Don't Let Them Ruin Your Life
Sacred Romance

General Posts:

Book Recommendations from a CBLI guest (surprisingly, most popular)
Spurting Spider Cake
Cancer Awareness - Kevin Ballantine
Holiday World and Santa's Lodge
The Menopausal Monster Lurks
Favorite Things Thursday: Colliers Junior Classics
Prayer Request - Janae and Stellan
Boys Will Be Boys
Knock, Knock Joke by Sean
Why, Boys, Why
Scorpion Sucker
Report Card Flashbacks
Favorite Things Thursday: Sprecher's Root Beer

Now, I gleaned these lists from Blogger's stats and I must make this caveat.  There are times in their statistics where they say that nobody has viewed the blog post, yet four people left a comment on it.  Really?  So, who knows, maybe these stats aren't very reliable.  Still, it was fun to see what was most popular as of this point.

Happy Blogiversary to me!

Is it a Puddle or a Lake?

I thank God for blogging friends. When I lived in DeKalb, I created a critique group at my church. My writer's group buddies were always there for feedback and encouragement. They kept me going when I wanted to stand still and stare at a blank page. Now, fellow bloggers slog through with me and, without even realizing it, give me the gumption and motivation I often lack.

Today, was a good example. My blogging friend, Amy, provided this intensely insightful post which is resonating with me deeply. She is expressing the very things my heart and soul have been struggling with for the past several weeks.

A few weeks ago, I read a novel written by someone I know. It was self-published. I read the book as a critic and it was not above criticism. In fact, I dare say it would never have appealed to a traditional publishing company. It held great promise, but had several weaknesses.

Those weaknesses taunted me. I found myself awash in self-doubt. This writer obviously put forth his best effort. I wondered if my best efforts are rife with weaknesses I cannot see. Is the time and effort I pour into my writing of any value?

Essentially, I questioned my own talents and abilities. I had to ask myself if the waters of my writing talent are a puddle or a lake. I know (having read a good many outstanding pieces of literature) that I am not near the power of a river or an ocean. But, I worried that my abilities are merely the size of a puddle. Instead of focusing on the what-ifs that motivate great story lines, I became obsessed with the what-if of my skills. What if my talent is only a puddle and nothing ever comes of this lifelong dream and investment? What if I write novel after novel and they only sit in file folders in piles around my house? (Goodness knows, they're not in a filing cabinet where organized writers keep them.)

Talking about my writing is fun. The other night, at book group, I mentioned how thrilled I was at completing the polished first draft of my second novel. (Now two out of three Nanowrimo efforts are in first draft stage.) When I share my story ideas with others, I'm energized and encouraged. But it is just talk. They nod their heads and make responses I take to be encouraging, but they've never read a single line of my novels.

I recently sent off one novel to four individuals for feedback. I have heard nothing. That contributed to the puddle/lake question. I couldn't help but think, "if they liked it, they wouldn't be able to put it down and would've responded to the manuscript by now." (Even though I told each of them they needn't feel pressured to respond right away.) Then, the self-doubt about unseen weaknesses took hold in full force. I mused, "perhaps, like me, they are afraid to express their honest response for fear of wounding my pride or something." In reality, they may not have even had time to pick it up and read. Still, here I stand, in the wings of the stage wondering what they think of the performance.

All this navel-gazing is exhausting. It has put me into a blue funk. The fear is immense. How does one keep walking (keep writing) when one fears stumbling (failing)? A writer writes not just out of a need to put something down on paper, but with the genuine desire for reader response. I read voraciously. How could I write with no such hope for my writing? But, it is a deadly trap to get hung up on where the writing is leading.

As my life coach says, "your only requirement is to show up." If what I write never amounts to a hill of beans, I still need to write because that is what God wants me to do with the talent (puddle or lake) He has given. And maybe I will write a good long time before my writing is polished or good enough to warrant the favorable response of others. I must plug on, continue practicing, no matter the outcome. If I give up on pursuing my dream, I will certainly fail. If I practice, I may one day produce a song worth singing, a story worth telling, and the ability to present it well.

So whether I'm swimming in the shallows or paddling through more, the important thing is to keep making strokes. It is easy to say this - easy to voice the promise to write and leave the results to God - not so easy to put pen to paper daily regardless of any reliable assessment of the swimming conditions. I must fight the fear, fight the self-doubt, and simply bring forth the words God gives.

And for me, my talent may only lie in encouraging other writers. When I look at the number of published authors in my old DeKalb writer's group, I smile. Those individuals had to have had moments of doubt, like me. Perhaps I played a role in reminding them to keep swimming, keep writing, regardless of assessment (or lack of assessment) of the conditions.

Amy has encouraged me. Believe me, her talent is an ocean compared to mine. Her willingness to share the self-doubt makes my self-doubt easier to take. We may not know each other personally, may never meet in a writer's group, but we can spur each other on to plug away with whatever talent God has given and to let the chips fall where they may.

Lessons from the Smitten Kitchen

I love the Smitten Kitchen blog. Even though I'm not one to spend loads of time in the kitchen myself, I adore bringing up her beautiful posts, chock full of pictures that make me salivate and wish I were more domestic. I will often find myself making a mental note to come back and try one of her recipes.

So, I finally did it. Only, I didn't exactly do it well. I attempted to make her Whole-Wheat Raspberry Ricotta Scones.

For starters, I didn't copy the recipe or take it with me when I went to the store. Thus, I remembered to purchase raspberries and ricotta, but failed to pick up any heavy cream (I had to google that to discover that it was half and half - it was always just called heavy cream when I purchased it in England). Alas, I had no half and half.

I googled substitutions for heavy cream and came up with something suggesting heating milk and butter together. The only time I buy butter is when I plan to bake Christmas cookies. So, I had no butter, either.

In my very own slip-shod fashion, I threw the recipe together, taking every short-cut imaginable. For the cream, I added a slightly smaller amount of 2 percent milk. Since I had no pastry blender, I used a fork (couldn't be bothered with slowly chopping a knife through the mix).

I also couldn't be bothered with rolling the darn thing out, so I just plopped it on my foil lined pan and pressed it down into a circular shape (she made a rectangle). She cut them into nine pieces. I cut mine into eight pie wedges.



I popped it in the oven and waited. The house began to smell deliriously yummy! The raspberry wafted all around our heads. My children even noticed it and asked what I was making.

When it came time to remove the scone from the oven, I began to see the error of my ways. While she had separated the small square pieces (allowing them to bake more thoroughly), I had left it all in a lump and the middle was not done, but the edges were beginning to look slightly burnt.

Still, I must say, it looked stunning when I finally pulled it out. The piece on my plate next to my cup of coffee beckoned me as soon as it had cooled.




Sadly, the thing was as dry as sawdust. Plus, the berries (I should have remembered that I don't care for raspberries for this very reason) were so gritty that little particles remained in my teeth.

I have eaten two wedges. The rest is wrapped in the freezer. I'm guessing it will take up residence there for a suitable amount of time (we'll pretend that it is sub-letting space in the freezer) and will eventually be tossed in the trash or fed to the birds. Hey, now there's a suitable end for it. It must be destined for the birds.

Lessons: 1) Follow Smitten Kitchen's every step - she knows what she's doing (after all she tests these things in her kitchen often enough to get all those stunning photos). 2) Make sure all ingredients are accurate. (Would the thing have been more moist if I had used butter and cream???) 3) Not every food that looks amazing will end up tasting amazing (an awful lot like "don't judge a book by its cover," right?). 4) For a good laugh, view Smitten Kitchen's photography next to mine!

Introducing: My Son's Blog

Trevor has been begging for his own blog for quite some time now. We began working on it over Spring Break and finally put the polishing touches on his first post. It is a representation of one of the many books he has created. This one was created shortly after his trip with Daddy to see the I-Max presentation of "Sea Rex."

It may just be another blog in the blogosphere to some, but it is my own kindergarten son's expression of creativity, so to me it is a MIGHTY FINE BLOG! Go check it out at http://www.monstersandart.blogspot.com/.

A future post will contain photos of his first cake decoration (in celebration of his 6-1/2 birthday). Now, he's asking to have his blog appear on our favorites bar. I think I've created a monster (no pun intended)!

Blessed by Someone Unafraid to Use Her Gifts

There's a message God has been hammering into my brain a lot lately. Sadly, my persistent self-doubts require plenty of hammering action. It is that thought that when I sit back in fear, I am hoarding gifts that God intends to be used for blessing. This morning, I want to recognize someone who clearly taps into her God-given gifts and has blessed me in the process.

Kori was my nurse during my hospital stay after delivering Trevor via c-section. It was certainly my hardest post-surgery recovery out of my 3 c-sections. Although Trevor's birth was the only one that left me deliriously happy (I suffered from post-partum depression with both of the other two boys), it was by far the most painful. The surgery left me with a large quantity of trapped air. Kori, who happened to be a member of my church at that time, but one I had not really met prior to this hospital stay, comforted me and walked the halls with me as I attempted to lessen the painful spasms in my gut.

Kori's spirit shone. She was a smiley, positive presence in my life during those short days and after. She often popped into the church nursery to ask how I was doing. This meant so much to me. Even after our move from DeKalb to this isolated community in Indiana, Kori reached out, inviting me back to DeKalb for my old churh's annual women's retreats. I am grateful to God for the blessing she has been in my life.

Kori somehow manages to produce not one, but three blogs! She recently shared her gifts with the world when she entered The Pioneer Woman's photography contest. Her photo was selected as the winner. It brought back those memories for me of her influence on my life during the first few days of my middle son's entrance into the world.



Cogratulations, Kori! Thanks so much for shining in my world!

Losing Sight of the Person Behind the Problem

On Sunday, I had a BAD day. One of the things that played a role in the demise of my mood was a misplaced credit card. I was cleaning out my purse and handing over the week's receipts to my husband. It became clear that the card was nowhere to be found. I had to mention it to my husband (looking back, I'm thinking I should have waited until I had been searching for more than fifteen minutes).

I dread situations like this. He is extremely careful with his receipts and his money. Indeed, if I so much as leave the change from my pockets on my dresser top, it will disappear. I am not nearly so careful. Often I will drop the change I am given right into my purse, assuming that at the end of the week, I will clean it all out and put everything right again.

So, here I was with a cleaned out purse, and a missing credit card. Once he knew, the pressure was on. I couldn't even remember where I had used it last. He was immediately ready to call the company and cancel the card. I begged for time to search various coat pockets and dresser tops, etc. However, all those searches came to naught. He became more frantic. I became more upset - both upset with my mistake and upset with his reaction.

On the third or fourth scouring of my purse, I found the card. It had slipped into a zippered section of the purse that I rarely use and didn't realize was unzipped. The relief should have made the day better. Instead, I began to stew over the unfairness of his perfection and my irresponsibility.

He came to apologize. I would like to say that I graciously accepted the apology and everything was mended. Alas, my pride was too big for that and I chose to simmer in my own resentment.

Cue this morning.

We have been having some horrible nights lately. Trevor wakes in a panic about three or four times a night and wants ME to come lie with him. Up until last weekend, I was so focused on the problem that I ceased to see the sweet child behind it. It was literally ruining every night's sleep. Thankfully, a blogging friend helped redirect my focus.

Swistle recently posted about a similar nightly battle going on in her household with her five year old daughter. It was comforting to know that this falls in the spectrum of normal parental issues and helpful to read all the comments and suggestions. As a result, I put down an extra comforter and a sleeping bag for Trevor to crawl into on those nights when he needs to be near me.

The first night, it worked famously. He crept in, slid into his spot on the floor next to me and my sleep was uninterrupted. Last night, however, he would not be satisfied until Daddy left to sleep on the couch and gave up his side of our bed. Sean awoke and sensed that his brother had flown the coop, so he came in and slept on the bed roll on the floor. They both have serious colds and major nasal congestion, so I had two snoring, sniffling, grunting boys last night and VERY LITTLE SLEEP.

This morning, I gave up on sleep around 6:30 and (sensing my absence) both little boys rose around 6:45 a.m. Within minutes, Trevor was seated at a tray in front of the television with his breakfast. Alas, he must not have slept very well either. He sat staring at the television for more than half an hour and I became more frantic with each moment, spurring him to hurry with eating, to brush his teeth, to take some cold medicine and get on his shoes, coat, hat, gloves, and backpack.

In the end, the flashing lights of the bus were looming, I was screaming about how watching television causes him to dawdle and miss the bus, and he was in a heap on the floor crying and trying to quickly put on his shoes (which only made him move MORE SLOWLY). In the midst of all this stress, Sean let the dog out of the crate and he was communicating his need to be taken outside to do his duty. Trevor missed the bus!

I took the dog outside and breathed deeply. As the air cleared my head, I saw so very clearly that I had just reacted in the same way that had damaged me on Sunday. I had lost sight of Trevor in the problem of his missing the bus. In fact, I had magnified the problem so much that I couldn't see him behind it.

I came inside and resolved to eat my humble pie. Trevor was already waiting in the cold van. I climbed in the back seat with him and dried his tears.

"I owe you an apology, buddy," I said. "I'm sorry I yelled and got all upset. Missing the bus isn't the end of the world, but I made it look like that and that wasn't fair to you! I'm sorry that I lost my temper. I'm sorry that I hurt you in making the problem look way bigger than it really was."

I'm pretty sure this is a lesson I'll have to revisit a time or two. But for now, I'm really going to work on magnifying the person instead of the problem.

As for Sunday, Swistle had another good post to consider. She and another blogging friend exchanged "Crappy Day Gifts." These are a series of gifts, ranked according to level of difficulty. You save the gifts for an especially bad day, when such a gift can really smooth out the ruffled feathers of life. Swistle, like me, had a really, really bad day and opened one of her "Crappy Day Gifts," to discover a box of See's chocolates. I'm thinking THAT would have gone a long way to make up for the little credit card blunder (and everything else that soured that day). Then again, maybe I need to adjust my perception of what makes a crappy day. I noted that Swistle updated the story with a new post on the crappy day gifts and this crappy day, which she designated as medium made my crappy day look like a good day. Yikes.

Still, I'm wondering if there is anyone out there in cyber-land who might want to exchange crappy day gifts with me? If not, at least remember to magnify the person, not the problem.

P.S. In all fairness, (not, of course, to make myself feel better in any way -hee-hee) my husband is NOT PERFECT. He himself once left a credit card in the slot of an ATM and drove away, not even missing it for a day. That wasn't the end of our world, either!

The Climbers Ahead of Me

One of the things I have said I appreciate so much about Nanowrimo is the chance to watch others moving towards the same goal. It helps so much to see other writers breaking out in front of the pack and tackling the obstacles in pursuit of the peak. It is sort of like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro and being able to see someone ahead of me, taking ahold of new ground. I can sing to myself, "Well, now ... they've made it, so I'm sure I can, too."

Tonight, this feeling was both tested and proved, but not in terms of my writing for Nanowrimo (which is going amazingly well even though I only know of one other writer in the pack and he is usually 1000 words behind me).

First off, I finally answered the phone when someone from Wheaton College called. They have been calling for the past week or so and usually I have to let it ring off because the distractions of my boys and bedtime don't allow for a 10 to 15 minute phone solicitation call. But, please don't misunderstand. I LOVE these calls from Wheaton.

Every year I get the chance to talk to a current student about my time at Wheaton (some of the very best years of my life). Plus, I genuinely care about the Fund Drive for Wheaton College. When I was attending school there, it would have been completely impossible for me to attend without financial assistance. My parents were Salvation Army officers with five children. They had no established college funds for us. I reaped the benefits of those Fund Drives all four years of my attendance at Wheaton.

The difficulty came when it got to the point of actual solicitation. The student suggested an amount of $250. She had already clarified our present employment situation (mine: NONE, husband's: part-time at an institution not likely to offer a matching grant or anything). I explained that, although I wish I could, there was no way I could pledge $250. She reduced this amount to $100 and tried again. When I stated an amount of $25, the same that I pledged last year (our situation being the same for the past four years), she urged me to increase it by 10 percent to $27.50. Hubby was already balking at my desire to give $25, so I had to hold firm at that level.

After I hung up, the discouragement set in. I wanted to be up ahead of the pack. I wanted to offer up the large sums and feel that surge of generosity in giving. I didn't want to be at the bottom of the mountain, still looking way up to the top and seeing loads of other climbers who have advanced far more than I have.

Indeed, my heart auto-piloted into self-pity mode. I began to despair that I really haven't made anything of worth out of this life of mine. Here I sit, biding time. Opportunities are all in the past and the future is merely a big blur. My mind kept repeating, "What do I have to show for my life?"

Thankfully, I didn't go to bed on that thought. Since I tackled most of my Nanowrimo writing this afternoon, while the boys were at afternoon preschool, I decided to skim through the news. I came across this touching story of a 38 year old man, Chad Arnold, whose 34 year old brother, Ryan, offered up a liver to extend Chad's life and ended up dying of cardiac arrest during the transplant operation. The story linked to Chad's blog.

I have spent almost an hour reading the words of their story, Chad's journey. His writing is full of nuggets of wisdom:

"If God were small enough to understand, He wouldn't be big enough to be worshipped." - Evelyn Underhill

"When we become so enshrouded with the awareness of just ourselves, we don't see the pain surrounding us and the opportunity to extend love, or at the very least kindness, to the mad world around us." - Chad

"In love's service, only the wounded soldiers can serve." - Thornton Wilder

"The result of the prayer, really, isn't the point. The lesson learned (or missed) is how we respond - humility and stewardship when we get what we want and total reliance on our Creator when we don't." - Chad

Chad's blog journal and his faith journey have brought me back to the point of inspiration. He's up there ahead of me. He's passing through some really difficult patches that I haven't even imagined plowing through yet, but he's hanging on and that inspires me to hang on as well.

Thank God for those climbers ahead of me who remind me to rely totally on my Creator, even when stumbling in the dark.

A Beautiful Birth Story

I intended to write a book review tonight. That was before I glanced quickly through the headlines AOL provides. That was before I got completely and totally sucked into this beautiful birth story. Of course, I couldn't be content with just reading this mother's precious post, I had to also read a couple hundred of her almost 3,000 comments (yes, that's not a typo - and we can be sure my blog will never get that many comments!). Then, I had to read all of her posts from now back to the moment of her precious daughter Nella's birth. That's just the way I roll.

So now, it is midnight. The book review will have to wait. I got nothing. But, my heart is full of wonder at the joy of new life and the power of emotion when life pulls us in directions we never expected. The music, alone, on her site made me well up with awe at God's majestic plans. Her photography is stunning. I even had to smile when she mentioned that the Black Eyed Peas song really has her convinced that "tonight's gunna be a good night!" Check it out. You won't be sorry.