Laid-Back and Easy-Going

I would say that I'm a pretty laid-back and easy-going individual. I'm not Type A. I'm not driven. I don't find it particularly easy to stick with a schedule. Sometimes I wish I were those other things, but I'm not.

In fact, I've never been one to stress overly much about my appearance. It isn't that I don't want to look nice. Merely, that it is not the most important thing on my agenda. Unfortunately, it is getting worse. Perhaps I'm even growing too laid-back and easy-going when it comes to my appearance.

I would say that a lot of it is a temporary response to my life at the moment. Today, I took my two little guys on a walk in a beautiful park in a nearby town. This was something that I used to do regularly - especially while pregnant, because I knew it might be difficult to lose the baby weight after giving birth in my early 40s. The park is lovely and has a challenging one mile trail (including some killer hills - which is always interesting when you are either 8 or 9 months pregnant and pushing a toddler or when you are not pregnant but pushing 70 lbs. of bulky boys in a 30 lb. double stroller). I have really missed this activity, but the winter was long and lots of illness kept us from going for the past five months.

Some of the women who walk there definitely get dressed up to walk. They don their best work-out attire and put their hair up in a cute ponytail. I tried to put my hair up in a ponytail a week or so ago, but merely because I was too busy to grab the time to wash my hair that morning. My MS had better work on his sense of tact before he gets older and begins dating. He spent the entire morning whining about how horrible my hair looked in a ponytail. He carried on so much that, later that afternoon, while he was napping, I did indeed go wash it and curl it as I normally do.

Still, I HAVE noticed that since we moved here I'm more lax about my appearance. Sometimes I don't make it out of my jammies. I barely ever wear make-up. And, I have begun to notice that lots of my shirts have stains. Of course, when you know you will be spending the day indoors with two small boys, it makes it a bit pointless to spend huge amounts of time fussing with hair and make-up and outfits. My skin and hair seem to thank me for showering every other day now, instead of daily. But, it does make you worry when even your children notice your habits declining. My ES made a comment about it, too. I asked if he wanted me to change before I took him somewhere and he said, "why bother, you always just wear an old t-shirt and jeans anymore."

Now I have to decide if I'm going to make a concerted effort to improve my appearance, or just keep letting it all hang out here in the country. I know it would be different if I were going to a job every day. Those clothes are all still in my closet. But, when it comes time to get dressed in the morning, the jeans and t-shirts sound more comfortable. Besides, chances are one of the boys will throw something at me or ruin a nicer outfit.

My husband never says anything derogatory. In fact, he claims to consider me as sexy as ever (even though I know I have put on some weight since I stopped breast-feeding my youngest and began losing sleep more regularly). But, he is the kind of guy who takes great care with his appearance. He gets rid of a shirt if it has a stain. He dresses very nicely for work and often asks my advice (I feel so inept at fielding his questions).

I even think that, at times, he is over-the-top about appearance. For example, when we were first married and living in an apartment the size of a tuna can on campus at Northern Illinois University, there was an incident that took me by surprise and taught me a bit about him.

We lived behind a Pizza Hut and a McDonalds. There was a large parking lot out our back window and across from that were more college apartments. Our roles were reversed back then and I worked 8-4 and he stayed up until the wee hours of the morning studying. One night, I was woken by a commotion in the parking lot. I looked out the window and saw a young woman being chased by a man. She seemed very distraught and I called to my husband (a few feet away beyond our bedroom door, in the kitchen). He came and watched as well. We quickly ascertained that she might be in serious trouble.

I thought she was about to be raped. The man tackled her on a grassy area at the end of the parking lot. I was very concerned and urged my husband to go outside and confront the man while I called 9-1-1. Can you believe, my husband headed to the bathroom? This was shocking. I asked where he was going? He replied that he needed to put some mustache wax on.

My jaw was on the floor. It was the middle of the night. Even under the lights, would they really be able to see that he was lacking mustache wax??? He did manage this quickly, but it was one of the first times I realized that he is quite uptight about his appearance. (I never did find out what happened with the girl. The police arrived. The guy ran off. I'm hoping that we saved her from something tragic). At least, because I'm so laid-back, I didn't have to do up my hair to call 9-1-1!

This morning, it happened again. We had planned to take the car into the shop for service. While he took the little boys along to drive my ES to school (I guess ES missed the bus or begged a ride), I managed to get a shower and curl my hair. I was ready to head out. He was appalled. He couldn't take the car in looking the way he did. (Just so you know, I didn't even realize he looked bad). In the end, it was me he was thinking of, anyway. He offered to change the appointment to Monday, so that he could watch my MS later that morning while I headed back to bed with the YS for his morning nap.

Yes, he is a saint. Yes, he is a fastidious saint. Yes, he loves me even though I'm more laid-back and easy-going. He doesn't seem to mind my stained t-shirts and jeans or the few extra pounds. I'm gonna keep him! But maybe a few more good walks should be on my agenda, too!