Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Good News and the Bad News

I used to love those old jokes, which began, "I have good news and I have bad news ..." (to read a few you can go here or here). However, my good news and bad news isn't really a joke. It feels all too real.

I'll start with the good news. On Thursday, my little boys had an awesome time going on a field trip with their preschool/Parent's Day Out program. They rode on the school bus and went to a fantastic entertainment center full of inflatables and games. They were beyond excited, asking every day whether or not it was the day for their special surprise field trip.

What a time they had! When I arrived to pick them up, they were in the throes of toddler thrills. Both boys were climbing the steps to a giant inflated slide. At the top, MS put his arm around YS and they both came down together. Then, they came running over to tell me about all the fun they had (pizza, chocolate chip cookies, and playing so hard that their heads were sweaty). I tried to snap a few photos, but I'm realizing now that I should have taken a video because they were moving so fast and so continuously that they were difficult to capture.






They both fell asleep in the van on the way home, even though MS doesn't take naps any more. It was humorous watching MS try to fight it (his eyes roaming back and forth and the intensity of his efforts to find something to talk about to keep him from zoning). Moreover, I loved the opportunity I had to watch YS run to his teacher, Mrs. Carol, for hugs and loving (she is really a fantastic teacher who has shown him calming and enduring love this year).

Which brings us to the bad news. The bad news is that their wonderful program will run for one final week and then will not be available next fall. I have been regretting this turn of events, ever since we received the news several weeks ago.

Of course, I dragged my heels on trying to find a replacement program. I was really hoping to find something where both boys could attend on the same two mornings. Unfortunately, most of the programs in this area, seem to offer classes for 2 year olds on Tu/Th and classes for 4 year olds on M/W/F. I couldn't afford (and didn't want) to put them in a full-time program.

In the end, I have secured a spot for MS for M/W/F afternoons next fall, but will keep YS home with me all the time. I know he is really going to miss going to school (because of Mrs. Carol, he looks forward to it so much - even asking on Saturdays and Sundays, if he can go to Mrs. Carol's class). I'm just praying he doesn't decide to fully ditch his naps, because then I will have no scheduled down time from the boys.

Still, the good news (which often feels like bad news, even though I know I will look back and treasure these days) also includes being able to spend more time with them when they are in these wonder years, the years when they are learning new things every moment of life and take it all in with such open enthusiasm.

At least for the summer, I have determined to require ES to supervise them for at least an hour every day, so that I can fit in time for exercise. I will have to discipline myself to get more cleaning done while they are around (any of you who have several small children will know that this is like an exercise in futility, because while I am cleaning one room they are destroying another and they move at the speed of light to dismantle what takes me hours to restore).

Of course, my mind is still struggling with the imminent loss of Mrs. Carol from our lives. I keep trying to finagle a way to keep her. Shall I try to buy her out, despite the fact that we can only offer her the same amount we were paying the school, to have her come here and spend time with YS? It really brings home the value of finding a person who loves and adores your child and provides excellent care in your absence.

On one of my recent trips to DeKalb, I stopped in Glen Ellyn, IL and drove into the neighborhood where I used to babysit (on a very regular basis for a family) while I was in college. I was such a regular, that when they built this home, they actually told me that they had built a room for me in the house.


I loved those two girls, Missy and Megan Phee, as if they were my own - heart and soul. What I wouldn't give to find a sitter with the passion and dedication I felt back then. What I wouldn't give to find a sitter with the availability I was able to provide (since I never had a single date in all my college years and jumped at any opportunity to see those sweet girls). On Mother's Day, I'm very thankful for the wonderful sons I have been able to love and raise and call my own, but I'm also grateful for those few years where I felt that I had daughters I could call my own.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

This is a really difficult situation, Wendy. Clearly you need time for you. That's a concrete fact. And getting it is extremely difficult because it always comes at a price, whether it's monetary or mental.

I wonder if there's a program somewhere in your town that allows exercise with Child Care. I have no idea what Mrs. Carol was charging and I'm not asking, but I wonder if there's a program that costs about the same.

For example, we pay $70 per month for our membership at the YMCA. That fee includes two hours of free Child Care Monday through Saturday.

However, we also pay $46 per week for Emily to spend two half days in preschool. Obviously that's $176 per month for school.

So all summer long, without fail, I exercise for two hours each day just because I NEED a mental break.

Perhaps you could find some sort of program like that. But if not, I wish you luck on finding a 15 or 16-year-old who will babysit over the summer for $8 per hour.

Unknown said...

Last thought -- our my 3-year-old is giving up naps, but not quiet time. Usually she hangs out in the crib in her room for 1.5 hours each afternoon.

I've taken stuff out of her room that could be a problem (markers, clothes that she can reach and spread about the room, baby lotion/powder, etc. So she has toys and such but she stays in her room and I stay downstairs.

Maybe that might work for your younger son during the school hours next year.