Alternate Outlets for Dreams

Amy, over at The English Geek, wrote a post recently about what drives some of her quilting urges. For a long time, she was utterly convinced that she would have a second daughter. When her fourth child arrived and was a third son, she began a process of mourning the loss of those dreams for her oft-imagined second daughter. I appreciated how she emphasized that she was in no way unhappy that her fourth was a boy - he was exactly who God intended him to be, but she still grieves the loss of that dream for another daughter.

I still have moments when I am slapped in the face with a gust of wind bearing grief over the daughter I never had. Thankfully, those dreams have had many years of alternate outlets. For example, some of my favorite baby-sitting gigs fulfilled those dreams a bit. When I worked as a counsellor at Camp Hiawatha in Wichita, Kansas, I spent a good portion of each morning french-braiding the girls' hair before we headed off to breakfast. When my husband and I were newly married and childless, we used to borrow two lovely children, Lindsay and Zach, from my friend Marla. I would pop popcorn and we would sit and watch kid movies together.

One of the jobs I have considered for when I return to the work world (when the two little boys are in school full-time) is a children's librarian. I think this job appeals to me because I spend a fair amount of time reading and investigating children's books in my pursuit of writing a successful children's book. But, certainly, part of it is the love I have for sharing good books with kids. How wonderful it would be to have the opportunity to pitch really good girly books. I remember loving the book, The Hundred Dresses, by Eleanor Estes. I just can't imagine any of my boys being willing to explore this book with me.

While I will admit that I have loved making boy themed cakes (especially the "Spurting Spider Cake" which exploded with blended green jello when it was cut!), I am feeling a need for an alternative outlet for those dreams as well. When we were looking for cake ideas for MS, I came across this Betty Crocker how-to video for making a Barbie doll cake.

How to make a princess cake

I have seen these cakes before, but somehow watching the video brought up that old familiar gust of wind and I ached for a little girl. I'm wondering how an alternate outlet will present itself for this dream. Too bad decorated cakes are impossible to ship, otherwise I could hold a give-away. Hee-hee! I guess I'll just have to find some little girl, someday, who is in desperate need of a princess cake, so I can live out the dream this video instills.