I Laughed at his Parental Frustration

It has now been one week since we had a baby in the house. I intended to provide follow-up on my ES's computer baby experience. I haven't. Sorry!

I was actually kind of surprised that they offer this experience to 8th graders. Still, I was more than happy to have my son participate. At the end, he and I both had to answer questions about this activity. I gave the program a thumbs up, but did believe it should have covered a longer time frame, perhaps when they are in high school.

Last Tuesday, our van was in the shop, receiving new tires and a full detail (since I always seem to trash it when we go to CBLI). Thus, the boys and I were left with the car - a Pontiac Grand Am. It was highly amusing to watch ES consider the seating arrangements and then ask me to pop the trunk. Yes, he actually placed the baby in the trunk.

He told me later that he wished he were in high school and already driving when they had done this assignment. If so, he said he would have loved setting the baby carrier on top of the car and then getting in and starting to drive off, just so he could watch the startled reactions of people who would assume it was an actual baby. I shook my head and reminded myself that he is a boy. Then, later that night I checked my camera, just to make sure he hadn't made any prank videos to upload to You Tube. You never know with boys.

The baby was turned off during his drum lesson, but we still needed to bring it along, since he intended to go to a football game at school afterwards. However, as we left his drum lesson he called his friends to be sure they were going to the game. It turned out that one friend couldn't go and the other was going to be late by about an hour. When the last friend learned that ES would be going to the game with the baby, even he advised ES not to go.

So, we went home and waited for the baby to come to life. And come to life, it did! At six, it began breathing. Then, shortly after six it began to do things babies tend to do. First it required a diaper change. Then, within a half an hour, it required another diaper change. ES was highly embarrassed because every time the baby cried, MS, YS and I would go running to his room to watch him care for the baby. It was really quite amusing.

Between six and midnight, the baby fussed or needed to be fed often. ES was amazed that each feeding took almost a half hour. Then, he was even more perturbed when each feeding had to be followed up with a half hour of burping. He clearly didn't understand why it should take that long for a baby to bring up the air. What 13 year old can't bring up air on command, for goodness sake?

My husband showers in the bathroom in the room near the garage (where I had originally intended to have ES and the baby sleep). Thus, he was worried that he would waken a weary son and figurative grandson at 5:30 a.m., and he insisted that ES remain in his own room for the night. Of course, it really isn't a surprise that my hubby didn't wake once when the baby stirred, but ES and I were up with every cry.

Around midnight, ES began to get very frustrated. Unfortunately, I don't think I was a very compassionate sounding board. I found it hard not to laugh at his frustration. He was clearly convinced that if he had a real baby it wouldn't be as difficult. Several times, he declared that he would just allow his own baby to cry itself to sleep, since he wouldn't be graded on it. (Hmm, wonder if I could throw that argument back at him the next time he has a displayed need - I'll just delay meeting it because it isn't convenient.)

I did try to remind him of a very young baby's need to eat every two to three hours. After all, he was around when both MS and YS were newborns. Somehow, I think he was oblivious.

The more frustrated he got, the more I felt it necessary to paint the picture of his first months ... indeed, his first year. The first few nights there were three of us to wait on his every need (hubby, myself and m-i-l) and we were completely exhausted by ES's cries. I even took him back to the hospital convinced that something was wrong with him. He cried constantly and was very seldom soothed. Plus, we lived in an apartment and I was always worried about the noise.

When ES was 3 months old, we discovered that he had almost constant ear infections. At 11 months, he received tubes in his ears and became a completely different, and far easier, baby. Of course, by then, we were in a state of severe sleep deprivation. Somehow, I still get the feeling that ES was too busy hearing the cries of the moment to fully take in my descriptions of his infancy.

The baby really wasn't too bad and was only turned on for a 12 hour stint. I mean, come on - what parent wouldn't think life was just a bit too easy if their infant had a 12 hour passage of normal infant behavior and then shut off. Yet, I don't think my ES would have been ready to face those frustrations for more than that 12 hours afforded. At least, it did come in loud and clear that he is too impatient to be responsible for a baby at this age.

I'm sure he went off to school declaring that his baby had been set at the hardest level (the teacher had informed them that there were three level settings and that she didn't know which setting they would receive). I'm also positive that we both (ES and myself) woke up the following morning feeling very grateful that we don't have another small son to care for. I'm truly grateful that I could laugh at his frustration (for we all know that I wouldn't have been laughing much if his frustration had been genuine, instead of simulated).