Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Trouble with Boys

So many of the difficulties that we face with Trevor and Sean were not issues when it was just Bryce. I guess there is less trouble when the male child population in your home is one. When you shift from "boy" to "boys," somehow the trouble quotient escalates.

Here are some recent troubles:

Boys are destructive. Bryce wasn't destructive. My two little guys together are like a tornado of destruction. It may not be equal to the force that just ripped through the southern states, but it is still DESTRUCTION.

One weekend, not long ago, I managed to snag some moments alone and visited a garage sale. I was thrilled to locate four adorable Christmas ornaments in a box marked "50 cents each." I give each boy a special ornament which reflects something particular to them for that year. This coming year, Bryce has decided to go out for football. I purchased two nice football themed ornaments.

Then I spied a fabulous fishing ornament. It was one of those moments where you see an object and think, "Oh, I've got to buy that ... it is just too cool to pass up!" It is a sign saying "The Perfect Catch - Pull for Photo" and below the sign hangs the head of a fish connected to a spring connected to the tail of the fish.

I showed the boys the clever ornament. I emphasized, "YOU ARE NOT TO PULL ON IT OR IT WILL BREAK !"

I'm sure you can guess. The following morning I woke to hear the sound of my husband in the shower. There were the two boys pulling the spring beyond all restoration. They have ruined my clever ornament. I am really hoping that I can find a comparable spring and fix the thing, but we shall see. Little boy heads are on platters!

Boys fight. When I just had Bryce, I didn't have to deal with this element of the male persuasion. He had no one else to fight with. If a friend came over and a fight broke out, it was usually verbal and minor.

Enter the plural - BOYS. These two boys are starting to come to blows far more often than I can take. It arises out of the most ridiculous moments. Fists are flung. Often Sleepy Bear is wielded as a weapon. They cannot both sit on the couch without kicking each other in a constant battle to sit with their legs fully stretched out.

One day, I left them playing a game of "Don't Break the Ice" and went to the bathroom. When I returned, the little mallets meant for poking the ice were being used to beat each other. Groan.

Thankfully, there are equal amounts of true companionship between them. They may duke it out, but they usually let the fights go and move on fairly quickly (pretty sure this is a blessing of boys).

Finally, boys are highly impressionable. They recently watched a television show where an addicted gamer refuses to leave his gaming console and rigs up a device to handle restroom duties. Bryce has been using protein shakes after his workouts and the container is so large that it doesn't fit in the kitchen trash can. Instead, I placed it next to the trash. Next thing I know, Trevor walks off with the large container. I am expecting him to think up some form of art. Alas, I was wrong. He turned on the PlayStation, popped in a game and began playing, with the container near his feet. A few moments later, he declared, "I'm in obsessive gaming mode." I watched in horror as he peed into the container and went back to gaming.

We also have had some bathroom issues when it comes to baths. Usually, if they have to go during a bath, I hand them a small bathtub cup and then transfer what they produce to the toilet. However, now that Trevor takes a shower, I have told him that it is perfectly fine to urinate in the shower, since it will just go down the drain.

Sadly, I failed to specify that when you urinate in the shower, you should do so near the drain, not at the other end of the bathtub, say against the opposite wall. Hmph! My irritation was so great that I declared Trevor would clean the mess up. But somehow he was called away to some other thing (probably a disaster that Dad discovered) and I failed to remember to have him clean it.

So, the next night, I send Sean down to the bathtub, telling him I'll be there in a moment to begin running the water. When I enter the bathroom, I realize that son number two (hmm - not a good choice of words for this discussion) has inspired son number three. Instead of just peeing at the back of the shower, Sean decided to see how high against the back wall he could aim the flow. Let me tell you, it was pretty high and a gigantic mess because he also nailed the bag of tub letters they use to create words on the wall.

Boys! If one thinks of something, the other is sure to carry it just a bit further. Not that my boys really seem to need any inspiration. They come up with crazy antics just fine on their own. That's just life with boys for you!

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