While I was away at camp, I had opportunity to put the principles learned from The God Box into practice, but I'm sad to admit that I failed somewhat.
On Monday night, I awoke at 3 a.m. from a terrifying nightmare. Trevor had been lying on train tracks and despite our shouted pleas for him to get up, he remained and was run over by a train. I woke shaking and hyperventilating. I couldn't fall back to sleep for over an hour.
Tuesday was the first day that Grandma was going to be taking my two small boys at home to the high school pool. Sean doesn't know how to swim yet and is resistant to wearing his floaties. Plus, I have observed the life guards there before. They do not pay attention to the pool or the swimmers. They sit on the side and converse with parents.
Suddenly, I was gripped with the irrational fear that something was going to happen to my youngest in my absence. When I take the boys to the pool, I stay close to Sean at all times, in my suit in the water. I knew Grandma would not be getting in. I kept imagining the worst. It totally took hold of my psyche. I couldn't concentrate on anything and panic set in.
Finally, at lunch (just prior to the scheduled pool trip at home), one of the other faculty members said a prayer with me and I was finally able to let my fears go. I continued to pray frantically, but distracted myself with my puppet class. At four, I called home and was thrilled to talk to both boys, assuring myself of their well-being. They went to the pool again on Thursday, but I wasn't quite so gripped with terror.
Now, I'm facing a similar need to pray and let it go. We are going to Holiday World and Bryce will be riding with his friend down, instead of in a vehicle with us. I must pray for their safety and then let go of my worries. He is big enough to handle my concerns and has a will already determined in the matter. It is my place to rest in His will and trust God.
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