2023 - Third Quarterly Review

To assist my blog readers, I summarize my reading four times a year, providing a brief description, the page count, and a grading scale (💖5 thumbs up - highly recommend, 4 thumbs up - enjoyed, 3 thumbs up - good, 2 thumbs up - meh, and 1 thumb down - regret, wishing I could get back the time invested). I read the following books during the third quarter of 2023 (links to full reviews can be found in the side-bar, or after 2023, found through the search bar at the right):

Beyond That, the Sea by Laura Spence-Ash - A sweeping, enchanting tale of the temporary displacement of a young girl sent from England to America during WWII. Loved the main character and exploring her dilemmas. 348 pages, 👍👍👍👍-3/4

The Truth According to Us by Annie Barrows - Not nearly as satisfying as The Geurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, yet I stuck with it for the lengthy audio book. 512 pages (I listened in audio form, 15 CDs, 19 hours), 👍👍-1/2

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel - Enjoyed more than her much-raved-about Station Eleven because of the clever play on time travel and its ramifications. 272 pages (I listened in audio form, 5 CDs, 6 hours), 👍👍👍

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro - Klara is a solar-powered artificial friend who hopes the sun will heal her owner, Josie. To what lengths would you go, in order to retain a loved one? My large print version had 403 pages, 👍👍👍

The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder by David Grann - Two separate factions return from a harrowing adventure at sea. Whose story should be believed? Gruesome, but fascinating. 257 pages, 👍👍👍👍

Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott - Two teens with Cystic Fibrosis fall in love despite the limiting restriction of remaining five feet apart for their own safety and health. 304 pages (I listened in audio form, 6 CDs, 7 hours), 👍👍👍👍

The Words We Lost by Nicole Deese - Tag line: Three friends. Two broken promises. One missing manuscript. Christian fiction where the story drives the message - my favorite kind. 384 pages, 👍👍👍👍-1/2

Please Sorry Thanks by Mark Batterson - With his trademark well-crafted phrasing, Batterson writes of three magic words that can change the world. 140 pages, 👍👍👍👍

All My Knotted-up Life by Beth Moore - A vulnerable, honest look into the life of a woman celebrated for her ministry focusing women on the Word. 289 pages, 👍👍👍👍

A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson - One of my favorite travel writers hilariously recounts his hike with a friend along the Appalachian Trail. 397 pages (I listened in audio form, 9 CDs, 10-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍-1/2

A Hobbit, a Wardrobe, and a Great War by Joseph Loconte - Laconte outlines how their experiences in the Great War influenced Lewis and Tolkien's writing. 196 pages, 👍👍👍👍

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. - Discussing the causes and consequences of trauma, Dr. van der Kolk suggests ways to heal after trauma has reshaped your brain and body. 356 pages, 👍👍👍👍

The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise by Colleen Oakley - As Chandler Baker writes in her endorsement, "With wit, sass, and real emotion, Tanner and Louise, two unlikely fugitives, find connection, common ground, and true friendship across generations." 337 pages, 👍👍👍-1/2

The Lost Airman: A True Story of Escape from Nazi-Occupied France by Seth Meyerowitz with Peter F. Stevens - Many men who return from war never speak of what transpired. Thankfully, Arthur Meyerowitz's tale was preserved through the research of his grandson. 320 pages (I listened in audio form, 8 CDs, 9-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍-1/2

💖On Getting Out of Bed: The Burden and Gift of Living by Alan Noble - Get out of bed and give God the glory with each day He gives, no matter how much mental affliction you battle. Do it for Him. Do it for others who watch. 84 pages, 👍👍👍👍👍

You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why it Matters by Kate Murphy - Listening is a lost art. In this digital age, our attention spans have shrunk and our ability to wait for what the other person is trying to communicate has suffered. Murphy hopes to improve your abilities and make the world a kinder place. 288 pages (I listened - truly - in audio form, 6 CDs, 6-1/2 hours), 👍👍👍👍

The Sand Bucket List: Lessons for Living Life and Facing Death by Brad Fischer -  After a terminal cancer diagnosis, the author shares some of his life stories and the lessons his daughters can glean from them. 216 pages, 👍👍👍👍

To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future by Dan B. Allender, PhD - As someone who thinks in story all the time, this was a welcome reminder that our stories are important and God writes even the tragic bits to a purpose and plan. What does your story reveal about God? 215 pages, 👍👍👍

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck - It was interesting to revisit this classic. I read it as a senior in high school and had no recollection of the promiscuity. Still, it was a great read. 392 pages (I listened in audio form, 10 CDs, 12 hours), 👍👍👍👍

September 2023 This and That

Want a good chuckle? Stayed tuned to the end of this post for my "September Silly."

Sean loves football. Me, not so much. Ever since Trevor's leg injury at the outset of his 8th grade season, my heart shudders with fear for safety in this violent sport. Still, it is fun to watch them win! Here are photos of Sean (#55) exuberantly rejoicing in touchdowns by his team:

Protecting the quarterback and ball from the opponent:

They were thrilled to win against long-time rival, Danville, the first shut-out (21-0) against this team in twenty years. Here they are with the coveted winning helmet trophy:

Sean is to the left of the bear (hard to make out his 55).

Here's a better shot of the twenty-year rivalry helmet trophy:

And a shot of Sean with some football buddies:

As more and more people move onto property near us, our once isolated and private area is changed. We've lived here, on my husband's family land, for 17 years. For the first whole decade, I hated living here. In the past, I've considered myself a city girl. I loved walking the streets of Chicago, popping into all the antiquarian bookshops. I loved having access to culture, variety, and people. This rural town did not welcome or embrace me. I was stuck at home with two infants and no connections to support or assist.

Indeed, I ached to move back to Illinois, where I was fully plugged in, had an identity tied to education, and access to the city of Chicago without being right in the city. Yet, in the past 17 years, I've morphed into a different person. I would no longer consider myself a city girl. If and when we move from this location (possible as soon as our youngest graduates from high school), I'm more likely to desire another isolated location. The pandemic didn't help things. Moreover, the future looks threatening.

Of course, Facebook is onto my idle dreams of new housing. My feed is flooded with videos of tiny homes (while I fantasize about living tiny, I'm all too aware that my hoarding tendencies make such dreams futile). I also receive alerts about adorable, old houses. Now that we've faced multiple problems in this old house (air-conditioning/heating system had to be completely replaced in June at great personal cost and well pump replaced in mid-September), I'm trying to swipe past those old house advertisement.

This one, however, caught my eye and I'm smitten. It says it has been well-maintained. The external and internal photos are appealing. But, the real draw? This house is only an hour and a half away from my favorite cousin, Karin. I'm pretty sure my husband won't go for it. It is in Pennsylvania and he has his heart set on moving to an isolated, artsy community in Southern Indiana. But, I can dream, can't I?

I love this little alcove area between the garage and house. Can't you just imagine hours of outdoor reading?

I love this roomy kitchen. Even the wood paneling on the wall appeals to me, although with the flooring seems a bit too busy.

Some setbacks to this idea: 1) We don't have that kind of money at this point. 2) We are not in the market yet. 3) Talk about isolated - this is like our current rural town on steroids - not even a Walmart nearby - wow! 4) WINTER - snow, ugh! 5) SUMMER - Did it really say window a/c? Okay, dream bubble effectively burst! Sorry, Karin.

If I could sell 5 million copies of my book (HA), we could move into this over-the-top house in nearby Carmel, Indiana:

The twenty-some photos at that link are awe-inspiring, but no, no, no - the Meadowview estate is not my dream house! Future grandkids might love the indoor wooden slide, the elaborate movie theater room, the Titanic-esque staircase in the billiards room, and the inground pool. 

I would loathe the responsibility of decorating, outfitting, and especially CLEANING 14 bathrooms (yikes) and over 20 thousand square feet of house! Nice to visit; not so nice to maintain.

Finally, I leave you with a hilarious story. John and I went out for lunch. Where he parked in the lot, we were surrounded by various work trucks. After exiting the restaurant, we approached our car. John noticed something odd dangling from below the car, near the back tire. We both squatted down to inspect this damage we had never noticed before on my car. Suddenly, the passenger window rolled down and the driver in the front seat looked at us dubiously. Doh! It wasn't our car! Our black car was parked just beyond her black car (almost identical, but for the unrecognized damage - ha!). Thankfully, she was good-natured about it. I couldn't stop laughing about it for the rest of the day. When I texted my friend, Beth, about it, she said, "Double win! A good hearted laugh and the good news that the repair belongs to someone else. 😂" She also sent this hilarious gif that captured my response:

Kitty Forman Debra Jo Rupp GIFfrom Kitty Forman GIFs

Book Review: The Good Earth

I should know better than to let days pass without writing up my review of a book. With everything going on in my life, my listen to the audiobook version of Pearl S. Buck's The Good Earth is a faded memory. I'm ready to give up on modern fiction in audio form from my library. It is inevitably full of garbage. Indeed, perhaps that is half the battle with writing this review. I started and set aside two other audio books.

Listening to The Good Earth brought to mind an old favorite movie, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness. If you have never seen this 1958 movie, it is well worth finding. It stars Ingrid Bergman as the missionary woman, Gladys Aylward. My parents had this movie on an old video disc (you have to be really old to remember video disc machines - the precursor to VHS). We watched it often. Indeed, Gladys Aylward's biography, The Small Woman, was the last book my mother was reading when her dementia took hold.

Pearl S. Buck's tale is of an Asian man tied to the land he tills. He begins as a peasant and rises to wealth. I read this book in high school, but had no memory of the main character's sexual profligacy. Since it is a classic, and his taking a prostitute into his home occurs midway through the tale, I stuck with it through the end. The writing is very good and in keeping with its status as a classic. Still, if you want a story about the Far East, you might do better to stick with The Small Woman or The Inn of the Sixth Happiness.

Book Review: To Be Told

Although I'm not new to counseling, my last stint of life-coaching happened over a decade ago. At one point, I attended individual, marital, and group sessions. I don't miss those days. It was a lot of work. If only all that work remedied the problems. Alas, it didn't. Some of it is rearing its ugly head again.

Still, I'm hopeful. I appreciate my new counselor's willingness to offer book and podcast suggestions. My kind of person! Not to mention, he's trained in EMDR, a new method of dealing with past traumas that trigger PTSD symptoms. So, I jumped onboard for his first suggestion, To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future by Dan B. Allender, PhD.

I appreciated the author's emphasis that God weaves themes into the stories he's written with our lives. Every tragedy and trial will speak something about God through our experience. Like what Alan Noble mentioned in On Getting Out of Bed, our lives are a witness to others. Each witness is important. I like to think of it as a kaleidoscope. We each bear out God's light in a different hue and the composite of all our stories blended together creates a beautiful and brilliant image. Allender encourages readers to write out their life story and share with a community. Even though I consider myself a writer, I balked. I get it though. As I mentioned in my review of The Sand Bucket List, we relate to one another through our individual stories. It is in community that our stories blend and ricochet off one another. Someone else's story can trigger something in one's own story.

I loved the idea of the story feast. How neat to gather with others in a feast celebrating God's goodness! Sharing food. Sharing remembrances. Illustrating how God has been present in our lives.

It blessed me to see he incorporated, in later chapters, sections on prayer and fasting. As if he was saying, "Writing your story is good. Sharing it with others is great. But sharing it with God and allowing Him to fill emptiness is of utmost importance." He writes of the wrestling match of healing prayer. This "takes our stories of heartache and inserts Jesus into the memory to whiten the stain and take away the anguish." Bold stuff! Instead of whitewashing our painful memories, we must wrestle with God's allowance of this into our lives. We must seek what it is He wishes to make of those wounded places.

Allender also talks about being available to others. "Not to be cluttered with oneself is to embrace enough of our story to say to God and to others, 'He is good. And he has written me well' And perhaps even more, being uncluttered calls me to wrestle with those stories that confuse me, the stories I continue to hold at arm's length." Oh, to be uncluttered! To use my story to encourage others toward God's redemption.

Midmonth Mention - 5 Songs for a Weary Soul

I'm in a dark place these days. God's presence continues, but it feels more like a nightlight than a shining sun. What stupidity! I'm opening old wounds and traumas through EMDR therapy. Not the right moment to free myself from a decades-long regimen of chronic depression medication. Sadly, at my follow-up psychiatrist appointment, it was obviously imperative I resume those meds. While I'm disgruntled, I am grateful for the medicine that seems to put me on a more even keel. No idea how long it will take for the two-month hiatus to be rectified by the reinstitution.

In addition to lancing wounds, I've diminished two things that were structural supports in my life: writing and reading. Although I haven't abandoned either, the diminished activity leaves a gaping hole. I continue to do personal writing in my daily pages and send notes to people for my ongoing Facebook prayer project. I listen to an audio book when driving in my car. While I miss those foundational activities, I cannot seem to resume them.

As if personal problems and extended sleep issues wasn't enough to bear, we woke several days this week to find no water. We had visions of a week-long stint in a hotel, waiting for the workers to fix this. I'm so grateful to God. At first, we were told they needed to remove the failed pump for our well, but if they couldn't get it out, they might need to dig a whole new well (tens of thousands of dollars). Praise God, they were able to replace the old one.  It was 61-years old! The guy said most pumps nowadays last ten years. They sure don't make things like they used to! Still, it was a day or two of upheaval and taxing on the emotions.

Last week's counseling appointment homework? Listen to some music to fill the gaping hole left by the reduction in writing and reading. My counselor also recommended two books: Hurt People Hurt People, and Safe People. I only managed one, and that, abridged. Instead, I am compiling a list of soothing songs to address the weariness in my soul. I mention them here, in case you are needing comfort as well.

"Abide With Me," sung by my niece, Kirsten, with The Singing Company:

This song cuts across all the worries and clamor attacking my heart these days. It reminds me of His presence. "When the darkness deepens, Lord, with me abide! Though my fears are strong, Your voice surrounds me."

Early in our marriage, John and I were both big fans of Steve Green's music. Often when I'm facing trials associated with the consequences of my son's choices, I turn to this calming song:

"Rest," by Steve Green, from his Christmas Joy to the World album (love the Salvation Army band with him on the cover)

"Refuse to fear! Enjoy His love! The Lord is near!" Two great commands based on one great reminder! "There is no need for needless worry. With such a Savior, you have no cause to ever doubt."

Another oldie, but goodie. Keith Green's lyrics in this song comfort my heart:

"Make My Life a Prayer to You," by Keith Green, from his No Compromise album

"Save us from ourselves and our despair. It comforts me to know You're really there." "It's so hard to see when my eyes are on me." Oh, how my obstacles obscure my vision!

Chris Rice provides another voice that soothes my soul when facing deep despair:

"My Prayer," by Chris Rice on his Smell the Color Nine album

"Words fail. Tears come. I need someone to take the thoughts I almost think and carry them to God for me." "Long sigh. I'm still numb. Is there anyone who can find the things I'm barely feeling and give them wings beyond my ceiling?" "Sorry, I forgot. You're right here. I cup my hands around Your ear. I feel You smile; You feel my breath. You listen while I whisper nonsense." And, as always, the end is submission to His will.

Finally, another affirmation of submission to His will, this song by Mercy Me:

"Even If," by Mercy Me, from their Lifer album

"Right now I'm losing bad." "It's easy to sing when there's nothing to bring me down. What will I say when I'm held to the flame like I am right now." "God when You choose to leave mountains unmoveable, give me the strength to be able to sing, 'It is well with my soul.'" I so want that resolution! My fingers falter, but still I cling.

I have been thinking again of the passage in 2 Kings 6. The prophet Elisha is aware of the vast opponent approaching. Yet, instead of quaking in his boots, he prays for God to open the eyes of his servant Gehazi. I am praying, too. "Open my eyes to see the armies of angels fighting on Your behalf to bring about Your will, despite how harrowing the odds feel. Instead of fixating on the obstacles, the fears, the failures, I must allow my spiritual eyes to see His hand, even where it doesn't seem present or effective. There are things going on in the spiritual realm that my human eyes and mind cannot comprehend."

So, I pray, "Lord, abide with me. Help me rest, assured of Your power to intervene. May my feeble life be a prayer to You. In my prayer, may I fill the silence with Your smile, Your breath, Your ear. And, even if things don't turn around, if life continues to compound trials, keep my soul content in You."

Book Review: The Sand Bucket List

One of my favorite things to do is meet other self-published authors. It is an uphill climb. It's good to know there are other climbers around on similar journeys. Plus, there's something special about reading a book after you've met the author. I met a local author, Brad Fischer, at my library in July. Brad received a terminal cancer diagnosis at age 46. He captured funny stories from his past to convey to his beloved daughters the lessons he hoped they might learn from this crazy life we're given. Although the book was written with this fine-tuned lens, the lessons are such that anyone can derive meaning and insight from them. The excellent writing sucks you into these life lessons with ease.

Brad has a knack for finding hidden nuggets of wisdom amid humor. He shared the story of the prank he and his buddies played in their youth. They left a manure-filled purse on the side of the road to observe reactions. Now, he experienced similar feelings of being cheated by the cancer purse, a bag he wished he hadn't found along life's road. Another story he shared, with purpose, was about a time he and his wife went snorkeling. He accidentally allowed his wife to float away from him. This related to his cancer journey, as well. He explained how difficult it was for him to vocalize his fears or despair and that left his wife floating alone with all that emotion.

After reading his book, I feel even more kinship with him. Like Brad, a dog bit me in the butt once. And like Brad, my husband used to entertain our oldest son with a puppet show. Brad gave the Frog and Duck Show, while my husband's antics animated a Ronald McDonald puppet and a Dopey dwarf puppet. Sometimes a Woody (Toy Story) doll joined the mix. One night, a naughty Woody simpered, "Roses are red, violets are blue, poops are stinky, and so are you." We were mortified the next morning at church, when Bryce parroted Woody aloud to the girl in the pew in front of him.

I wish Brad all the best in this endeavor. His writing skills shine. He begins each chapter with a short blurb or lesson and wraps up each chapter honing in on that lesson again. Plus, he tackles even difficult subjects like religious belief with honesty and vulnerability. He struggles with the bad that sometimes comes from good people of faith. His questions are valid and voiced with sincerity. We may not share the same spiritual perspective, but we found common ground. His stories reminded me of my stories, and that is the beauty of books. We can always see something of ourselves in the stories of others. 

Book Review: You're Not Listening

A quick library search for new audio fare led me to Kate Murphy's You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why it Matters. Like many respondents to her driving question of "Who listens to you?" I would probably struggle to answer. And, I would admit that I am not a wonderful listener. My brain outpaces the conversation, looking for what I might add. Plus, I jump to articulate what I think people are trying to say, sometimes finishing their sentences. I should remain silent until they summon the words they desire. As she points out, "Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is listening or even knows how."

Murphy does an excellent job of dissecting the problem and suggesting ways to improve our listening skills. Plus, she talks to a variety of researchers and people whose jobs require listening. I love the analogy she shared from one researcher who likened conversation to a game of catch with a lump of clay. "Each person catches it and molds it with their perceptions before tossing it back. Things like education, race, gender, age, relationship with the other person, frame of mind, connotations of words and distractions all influence how the clay is shaped. Add more people to the game of catch and the complexity and range of meanings increases."

The true test will be whether I listened well enough to improve my conversational and listening skills. Did I gain conversational sensitivity? Will I pause more frequently to allow others to complete their thoughts? This may have been a better book to read visually to retain the lessons included. While I tried to pay attention, I may not remember enough to implement what I heard. Still, better listening is a noble goal. So, if I cut you off to share my related insights or to finish your sentence for you, tell me to take a breath and give you time. I'll know exactly what you're saying.

Book Review: On Getting Out of Bed - Highly Recommend

Do you have a person whose book recommendations move you to seek a book immediately? When Catherine, of A Spirited Mind, recommends one, I jump. She isn't frivolous in handing out 5 stars. Her 5 star Good Reads attribution to this book, On Getting Out of Bed, by Alan Noble, sent me straight to my library website. Within minutes, I was reading the e-book. At only 44 e-book pages long, this essay was a quick and excellent read.

After reading The Body Keeps the Score, I returned to therapy, this time for trauma therapy (EMDR). In addition, I'm weaning from my clinical depression meds. Down days will be inevitable. I well remember days when getting out of bed was a supreme challenge. Alan Noble articulates this struggle well. Mental affliction is not a case of the blues. It isn't a bad day. It is far more pervasive and debilitating. But God...

Noble's main point is that life is a gift and, even in suffering, it is good. God made us with a purpose and He gives each day with divine intent. He writes, "Your being in the world is a witness and 'it counts for something.' Your existence testifies. There is no mitigating this fact. There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world." Even more than his affirming persistence, I loved his discussion on the seriousness of sin. "Our sin proclaims to others that God's promises are not enough.... [they] make sin more plausible for others." This world winks at sin. But even if you don't want to be, you are a witness. Your life bears a message to others. So, what is it you want to say with your one brave life?

Finally, Noble breaks down our motivations for living. You can live because it glorifies God. Or you can live for the world, the flesh, or the devil. How many are trying to live self-sufficient lives? As definer of their own identity, they have no use for God. But God doesn't want us for our usefulness. We have nothing to give to God that He needs. Yet, He delights in us. Moreover, getting out of bed testifies to our trust in God. It proves we believe He knows what each day holds and will carry us through it for as many days as He gives.