Book Review: Supercommunicators

I noticed several people mentioning a desire to read this book by Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit (another one that sounds interesting). Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection was #6 on the Amazon charts when I wrote this review (now #16). Quite a buzz! While interesting, it wasn't my favorite book about communication (not that I could tell you what title tops this one). Plus, I enjoyed the first two sections far more than the third.

Duhigg breaks communication into three levels of conversation: practical (What's this really about?), emotional (How do we feel?), and social (Who are we?). All three levels can operate simultaneously, but Duhigg feels it is important to identify which kind of conversation you are having, in order to better form connections. The book holds practical advice on how to foster deeper connections. Since connection is key to happiness in life, it is worth exploring how to communicate like the pros, the supercommunicators. Maybe you've known a super communicator, one who can extract meaningful conversation from anyone. They listen well and probe further. They match your emotions and mood and foster trust. I am NOT a super communicator. Yet, I gleaned some interesting fodder for consideration that may improve my efforts to connect with others.

In one intriguing experiment, researchers came up with 36 questions and paired strangers to explore the questions together. (Those questions are available in the notes section of the book. I jotted them down and am eager to pose these questions to my family members, to learn more about their insights and thoughts.) It seems the type of question is key (especially ones that seek emotional investment in answering feelings, beliefs, and opinions). I could improve my questions and my listening. Duhigg tells of a CIA operative seeking to convince a foreign woman to provide intelligence. Negotiation requires skill to get someone to do something they don't want to do. Communication that fosters trust is essential. 

The book ends by explaining how important authentic, meaningful connections are in life. Those who form good connections live happier lives. So how do you form better connections? This book is instructive and well supported with illustrations and anecdotes. I still think there are things unexplored that hinder people from forming solid connections. Yet, it cannot hurt to consider ways to enhance communication.