Tonight I took the boys to see a fireworks show.
As we exited the van:
Them: Oh, look ... someone did a firework over there in their driveway. Are those the fireworks, Mommy? Are we there yet?
Me: Yes, yes they did, but no we are not there yet. We need to walk along this sidewalk to the park.
Them: Can we play at the park? Oo, oo, I see a lightning bug. Seannie, do you want me to catch the lightning bug for you? I can catch the lightning bug. (Catches one, puts it on Sean's shirt, to much screaming from Sean.)
Me: Leave the bugs alone. Leave your brother alone.
Them: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Oh, look, that guy has a motorcycle on his shirt. That's a cool shirt. I want a shirt like that. Can I get a shirt like that? Hey, they have ring-pops. I want a ring pop. Can I have a ring pop? (At this point, the teenager with the children with the ring-pops turns and says, "Sorry, we don't have any more.")
Me: Trevor, you don't comment on what a person has and ask if you can have one. It is impolite.
(We arrive at the park).
Them: Can we go play on the playground?
Me: Yes, for a few minutes, but then we are going to sit on the blanket and wait for the fireworks.
Them: My shoe came off. Help me get my shoe back on. Wait for me. Oh, look, a dog. Can we pet the dog? Oh, I want to go on the teeter-totters. Hey, watch Seannie, I'm stepping off now.
Me: Don't do that!! Your brother will fall off!
Them: Can we go sit down now?
Me: Yes, let's go find a spot.
Them: Ohh, look, they have a table full of those light-up thingies. I want one of those. Can we buy one of those, Mommy? Look, this light-up ball is only $5. Can I have $5, Mommy? I want a light-up ball. Hey, that guy got a light-up ball. Why can't I get a light-up ball. Wow. Look at that girl's shirt. It shows her belly-button. When I have a girlfriend, I want my girlfriend to wear a shirt that shows her belly-button. Hey, those people in front of us are smoking. Don't they know that smoking is bad. It turns your lungs black, just like you said, Mommy? How come they are smoking?
Me: Be quiet and watch for the fireworks to start (inwardly praying that they start on time).
Them: Hey, who turned all the park lights out. What, are they starting the fireworks now, Mommy? Look, I see the first star. Let's say the wishing rhyme. Star Light, Star Bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Hey, I didn't get my wish. I wished for one of those light-up balls, but you won't buy me one. (The fireworks begin.) Wow. That one was cool. Hey, that kid in front of us is taking pictures of the fireworks. Can I have the camera? I want to take pictures of the fireworks. Why won't you let me get a glow ball or take pictures? Ooh, red, my favorite color. Ooh, Trevor, what is your favorite color? Ooh, green, your favorite color, Trevor. (repeated throughout the entire 20 minute display, despite my pleas to stop talking and simply watch)
Trevor counted to one thousand, hundred, ninety the entire walk back to the van. Sean complained about his shoes the entire way to the van and told Trevor to stop counting about a million times. When Bryce arrived and joined us in the van, his radar picked up my signal from a mile away.
Sadly, when he asked what was wrong, I burst just like an inmate after the thousandth drop of water.