If only I felt the boys were equally blessed by school. Bryce is doing very well. In fact, he and I went out to Dairy Queen to celebrate last night because he scored the only perfect score on the first difficult AP Chemistry exam. The class average was 51%. He says he hasn't missed a single point in any class so far. Yay, Bryce.
It is the little boys who concern me. They just don't seem to be enjoying school. In fact, it has become a source of stress for them. Trevor is back to praying every night, "and please help me to have a good day at school tomorrow and not to forget anything" (this was a constant from last year). Sean says he hates school because all it is is work and more work. He outlined his daily schedule as "work, work, carpet time, work, work, work, lunchtime, recess, work, work, carpet time, work work." He has said the only thing he likes is recess.
Of course, this was how Bryce was. He used to always say his favorite class was P.E. However, he never seemed uptight about the requirements of school. Trevor tells Sean he should be glad he's not in second grade because they have so many rules, like they can't get out of their seats without raising their hand and asking permission and they have to remember to push in their chairs and one of his teachers (he is in a team teaching situation) yells at them.
Yesterday, Sean met me at the door with eagerness. He wanted to show me a particular paper out of the mass of worksheets he comes home with. He held it up in his little hands and said, "Didn't I do a good job on this?" I was all ready to tell him he did fine, when I noticed a post-it note affixed to the paper. It read: "Sean says that you say 'Good Job' when he brings home a paper like this. I think he can do better" and was signed by the teacher.
How to respond to that? On the one hand, I want Sean to do his very best work. On the other hand, Sean doesn't have the hand-eye coordination that Trevor has. He finds it difficult to stay in the lines, and well ... yes, he does just want to get the work over with. Then again, how important is it that he churn out diligently colored horses?
Here his class is working on the numbers one to four, while Sean can already count well past 100, knows what a googol is, understands negative numbers and can add and subtract right alongside his second grade brother. But he is called out for coloring outside the lines on two horses. Trevor is more artistic than any other second grader around, yet last year he was chastised for drawing on the sides of his assignments. I begin to feel like my children aren't being seen for who they are and the wonderful gifts and abilities they have been given. Instead, they are being forced into a cookie-cutter mold of discipline and structure.
Perhaps I don't provide them with enough discipline and structure, but it seems to me that school should be something a child looks forward to. Learning should be fun so that children want to spend even more time learning on their own.
I don't know what I can do to make this a more positive experience for them. Maybe I can't do anything. Maybe this is just going to be a source of stress and discomfort for them. Life is full of stress and discomfort. That, too, is a life-lesson.
When Bryce was in the elementary years, he was basically the top banana in a school system that taught to the lowest common denominator. The question is: would you rather your child be the top banana in a school system that teaches to the lowest common denominator or would you rather your child be a mediocre student in a school system that stresses academic excellence and discipline? I suppose I don't want either. I just want my bright, intelligent sons to be seen for their strengths and to be treated in a positive manner. I want them to look forward to the school day. Is that asking too much?
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Update: I'm feeling much better about the school situation. See this more recent post concerning their teachers.
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