I once acknowledged that I'm the queen of "what if?" I look back and pose the question; I look forward and pose the question. My family knows all too well my expert ability to play a scenario out to the worst possible end. My brain automatically kicks into overdrive exploring all the details that could go wrong. Indeed, last week, when I woke from an afternoon nap to discover my 15-year-old had gone to hang out at the house of his best friend (whose mother is a NURSE in a HOSPITAL during a PANDEMIC) I flipped!
Of course, the damage was already done, so I allowed him to stay there, but I sent him several reprimanding texts. He tried to assure me that the nurses are tested every time they enter and leave the hospital (like I believe that - I mean, I know several friends who believe they have the virus but cannot get tested - those tests are too rare to be using them at a revolving door of the hospital without indications to justify their use). I reminded him "Worry is my SUPERPOWER!" It's what I do best!
So what's a person to do when worry threatens to submerge you in its tsunami? Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Here are a few of my current praises (from the tremendous to the trivial):
My parents have settled into the gorgeous assisted living facility that graciously allows them to share an apartment despite my mother's greater level of assistance due to her dementia. Anyone who has faced care for a demented parent will recognize what a blessing this is because most often the Alzheimer patient is housed in a lock-down wing and the able-bodied spouse is forced to reside apart in another wing of the facility.
Since my father is still recovering from his broken arm, and my mother from dual troubles of kidney stone damage and bleeding issues associated with her "watermelon stomach," they both have doctor appointments they feel are absolutely necessary. This week, when my dad went to leave for his arm doctor appointment, they were met at the door and told that if they left, upon their return they would have to go straight into their apartment and undergo a 14-day quarantine. My mother had two appointments scheduled (one for kidney follow-up and one for the blood issues) the following day. My father deemed all these appointments "essential" and walked out the door.
He (who chooses to see God's hand in every detail far more than I am able) felt it would work out fine - they would spend the night at their house (still have the guest bed there), attend my mother's appointments, return and fulfill their quarantine period with just enough time to spare before her next appointments scheduled a little over two weeks from now. Instead of flexing my faith muscles, I took to the internet (always a bad idea). I read articles about assisted living patients who, after being sent to the hospital for various ailments non-COVID related, are being denied re-entry into their facilities. I imagined them riding out this storm, alone in their home without their clothes, meds, computers - everything now housed in their facility apartment.
⇰ I am PRAISING God that my dad's plan worked. After attending her appointments, they were allowed back in (something that has to fill assisted living facilities with great trepidation in the current climate). Although my mother is really struggling with the confinement and is digressing daily into belief that she needs to return to her childhood home because her parents are wondering where she is, they are both in a care facility and that fills me with intense gratitude and relief.
⇰ I am PRAISING God that my husband, executor and director of his family's farm operation, works from home (Indiana is locked-down in a stay-at-home order).
⇰ I am PRAISING God that my oldest son, Bryce (who just moved and took up a new position in Houston, Texas) has been told to work from home, and apart from going to see his girlfriend, is probably staying in place.
⇰ I am PRAISING God that my wayward son's attitude has improved. My husband resumed their nightly devotions together. He allows me to hug him - ha! (I'm getting in all the hugs I can, in case I ever reach a point where such hugs are out of the question - I think that is what I struggle with most - the stories of COVID patients dying alone.) He occasionally leaves to walk with friends, but is mostly holed up in our house, helping with chores we come up with to keep him busy.
⇰ I am PRAISING God for an opportunity that I discovered shortly before all this chaos kicked in. Even though this non-profit organization that pairs troubled youth with farms/ranches was in a distant northern suburb of Indianapolis, I took a gamble and called. In what could only be a "God thing," I learned that a facility in our rural hamlet had just requested placement. We are still in paperwork stages, but he has been approved for an internship working on a local ranch. I am hopeful that he may still be allowed to begin this and praying fervently that it will positively reach him and meet his needs.
⇰ I am PRAISING God for increased opportunities to enjoy the blessings of music. I loved the videos of Italians sharing their talents from balconies. I spend a portion of each day listening to hymn sing-alongs and musical meditations. I have several friends who offer up soothing piano playlists. My friend Deb shared this excellent video of a tenor horn player (hey, it's not often you see someone who plays my British instrument) playing the appropriate song "Be Ye Glad" ("In these days of confused situations, In this night of a restless remorse ... Comes a song bringing joy to the sad ... So be like lights on the rim of the water, Giving hope in a storm sea of night, Be a refuge amidst the slaughter ... There is no disease or no struggle, That can pull you from God, be ye glad!"):
⇰ I am PRAISING God for more time in Bible-reading and prayer. What a great opportunity to submerge into the promises of God and to lift every little detail to His throne! I have called a few individuals asking for prayer requests so I can pray with more precision. I may be a small cog, but I can play my part.
⇰ I am PRAISING God for his protection and provision. We are in-place and doing our part to flatten the curve.
⇰ I am PRAISING God for a season of sloppy schedules. The boys stay up late playing on-line with their friends and sleep until 11 or noon. Of course, this is a matter of perspective. My husband certainly wouldn't praise in this way. He is a detail-oriented, schedule and list-driven individual. Being a loosey-goosey schedule-averse person, I revel in the freedom to let down expectations. I am confident that once the spring break period is over and e-learning requirements become mandatory, the boys will accomplish what is required and do the work ... but for now, I appreciate not having to hound them or stress about strict schedules.
⇰ Finally, a truly frivolous praise - I am PRAISING God for an unexpected answer to a ridiculous prayer. I am in the process of growing out my gray hair. I haven't applied any color since June of 2019. Of course, I'm at that awkward stage of two-toned hair (pepper gray two-inch roots with lengths of brassy blonde) - HA - now I don't have to be seen in this condition. Nothing like a stay-at-home order to dwindle my interactions out and about in the world to non-existent. Of course, I will still see others in the limited on-line interactions for church and Bible study, but at least they're not seeing me up close and personal in my period of altered-appearance - HA!
So what praises are helping you to ride out this storm? What musical offering is blessing the socks off of you? What funny fare lightens your long hours with levity?
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