Thursday, February 21, 2008

Feeling Proud and a Bit Relieved

Today we recieved a large envelope in the mail from my ES's middle school. It contained a letter of congratulations from the principal, three certificates and three prizes. His school gives out an award for student of the month for each discipline and for each grade level. My ES received one of these earlier in the year. I believe he was student of the month in math for October. (He was quite proud then, because he had the highest percentage of any 6th grader, with 107%.)

This month, he received three. He was named Student of the Month for Physical Education and Band. On top of that, he was chosen by the Sixth Grade Team teachers as the top student for the entire sixth grade. He received coupons for free movie rentals and a gift card. He had told us on Friday that his name appeared on the television announcements when they gave out the student of the month awards.

I am, indeed, quite proud of him. And, to be honest, I am quite relieved as well. One year ago, we would have never expected to receive such a welcome envelope from his school. He hit a really rough patch during the spring semester of his fifth grade year.

We were aware of many factors involved. We had moved from a school where he was very well-known, and his mother was on staff, to a small, isolated community where he was the only new student in his grade. We had moved from a location where he routinely visited friends down the block, to a location where any friends who visit must be driven to our house. We welcomed another baby and were completely overwhelmed by the chaos of two small children.

In an effort to get him move involved, we had encouraged him to go out for basketball. Unlike his present involvement with wrestling, it was a disaster. Basketball is known to be an intensely loved sport in Indiana. Let's just say, it was very clear to the other kids on the team that ES had only recently taken up the game.

All of these things, led to some intense acting out. At one point, he even served an in-school suspension. My mil, having grown up in this small community, was very concerned that he was establishing a bad reputation. It was a hard walk as parents, trying to discern how best to temper discipline and consequences with understanding and grace.

I'm not sure if we achieved the right balance or not. In fact, I believe he could have gone either direction when he started middle school this year. He could have continued trying to draw attention in negative ways. He could have chosen friends who encouraged failure instead of success. Instead, thankfully, he decided to seek attention by excelling in his studies (a very new thing for someone who always claimed "school is for nerds" - in fact, when we first moved here, he made me laugh with a sign he posted on his door which read "If you like school your a really big NERD!" Ha! if you are not a nerd, you don't know how to spell you're!).

So, today, the awards are his. He earned them. He worked hard and made some good choices. But, I'm also being rewarded. I get to feel that mometary glow a parent gets when someone recognizes your child. I get to brag on him and celebrate his success. And, who knows, I may even get to watch one of those videos with him.

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