The Great Interview Experiment

Niel over at http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/ was writing about blogging and blog awards. He commented that normally people who are interviewed have some book coming out or some outstanding achievement. He suggested an experiment to get bloggers interviewing other bloggers.

I signed on and Leah of http://www.blogger.com/www.ciboulette.blogspot.com sent me six questions. She has posted my interview over at her blog, but also suggested I post my questions and answers over here. I loved her questions and really enjoyed the process of selecting answers. Since I already posted my answer to her first question, I will start with her second one:

2. What's it like being the only female around for miles?

For now, it has been kind of lonely. I was five months pregnant when we moved to this isolated farm house a little over a year ago, to enable me to stay home with the little boys. I had my youngest in December of 2006 (the start of the cold/flu season) so we didn't get out much at first. I don't have family nearby and haven't been able to find a sitter. In fact, I rarely get breaks from the constant caring for my boys. That has been the most difficult thing about our move.

The boys have a great time here, though, because we have lots of space for them to roam. My eldest son loves inviting his friends over and tramping through our woods. He recently acquired a three-man slingshot, so they all love to shoot water balloons across the meadow and fields. We have a tractor and wagon that we use in warmer weather to take treks along our property. We see all kinds of animals: deer, raccoons, skunk, coyotes, and foxes.

Where we used to live, I had a stimulating, well-loved job. I had daily conversations with other teachers and moms. I had a writer's group and several girlfriends to get together with for pie or a movie. Here, I tend to spend every day with my boys and that can get tough. It would be great to find a friend here and get back to enjoying some girl's nights out.

Still, I feel that the first five years in a child's life are a crucial time for establishing stability and emotional well-being. I would hate to miss these moments, even if the nitty gritty of daily cleaning and bathing and disciplining are sometimes stressful and draining. I will be happy when they are all in school and I can resume a separate work life and spend more time making friendships for myself. But, for now, who can beat the days filled with wrestling on the floor (yes, all three of them tackle me), baking special treats, reading books together, taking walks in the park and watching them play.

3. Before you had each of your sons, did you have girls' names picked out? What were they?

Prior to having my first son, I was solidly convinced that the baby was a girl. Every dream I had was of a girl. It was a very deep gut feeling. The curious thing is that I actually wanted a boy. And, I had specific wants. For as long as I can remember, I wanted my first to be a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy. My husband, on the other hand was convinced it was a boy and he wanted a daughter.

We had several girl names chosen for the first baby: Aubrey Anne, Lindsey Marie, Kelly Jean and Danielle Nicole. What we didn't have were boy names. My oldest son was three weeks late and we only settled on his name two weeks prior to his birth. My husband casually mentioned that he had once had a girlfriend who had had a boyfriend named B-------. He asked me to look up the meaning. When I discovered that it meant "quick moving one," I was hooked because my first one moved constantly in the womb. Of all three sons, his is the name I love the most.

When we decided to try for another child, we actually tried for a girl. We read all sorts of things suggesting you could sway the odds in favor of a girl. God decided for us and he decided on another boy. I had not really cared one way or the other, until a few months before we started trying for another child. For some reason, I came to strongly desire a daughter and intended to stop at two if baby #2 turned out to be a girl. We had a 3-D ultrasound for this baby and the technician informed us that it was a boy. I was quite sad, but did come around to it and merely changed my thinking to "I really would like to give this second baby a closer sibling and perhaps our third will be a girl." We didn't bother with girl names because the ultrasound was VERY CLEAR!

We tried even harder for a girl the third time (timing, diet, etc). By this time, I really was hoping hard for a little girl. I longed to buy adorable clothes, to french braid hair and to go shopping together. I knew that this was our last shot, since I would be 41 when the third one arrived and it would be my third c-section (they discourage women from having four c-sections and always felt that I would have to have c-sections because of the circumstances of the first birth experience). I was so very hopeful.

At the second ultrasound, which was only like 15 weeks along, I had to bring my two sons along (we moved during the pregnancy, so my first two or three visits, I drove from IL to visit the dr. in IN - I don't remember why they had to accompany me, perhaps my husband had a job interview). I would not have even asked, but my oldest son said, "Is it too early to tell whether it is a boy or a girl?" The technician said, "Well, Mom, what do you think it is?" I said, "A GIRL????" with a hopeful lilt. She said, "Well, this is a leg and this is a leg and it is this little piece in between that tells me you are getting a boy." I asked if she could be wrong and she said "having done this a lot, I'd say it is a 97 percent chance you are having a boy." I cried on the way home (even though I didn't want my sons to know how disappointed I was). It took me a longer time to accept this news.

We didn't bother with girl names because I had several ultrasounds and in most of them he was a very PROUD boy! I think I was still grieving up to the day my youngest son arrived. Then he came and he has been so perfect and is just the sweetest, happiest, good-natured little guy. And the three of them get along so well together. And, hey, I know how to do boys. We didn't have to buy anything new. Plus, when I think of girls and dating and hormones and the many dangers girls face, I guess I'm pretty happy to be surrounded by all this testosterone. My moods are enough for our whole family, I think.

4. You read a lot! Please recommend three or four books that you think are must-reads.

I do love to read. If only I could find a job where I am paid to read - that would be fantastic. I used to primarily enjoy classics and loved teaching the books that English teachers teach. But in the last ten years, I have shifted and now tend to read more current books. I do a lot of children's and young adult reading because I have been trying to write books in those ranges and also because I love to read them to my own children and to the students I used to work with (I still like to give my teaching friends suggestions for new books that are great read-alouds).

I would have to say that until 2006, I never kept track of what I read. But a writer friend of mine, Bob Hostetler, wrote an article on intentional reading and that made me think about my reading in a different way. For someone who wishes to write, it is important to be intentional about what you read. However, having said that, I have read too many books where I kept reading just because I wanted to say that I finished the book, not because it was a good read. It will be hard to answer this question because you only want three or four. So I will answer it in two ways: first a list of must reads in various categories and then a list of some of my favorite authors (ones whose books I always know I will enjoy).

Absolute must read: The Bible (more wisdom than any other book will ever hold)
Classics must reads: Great Expectations, Wuthering Heights, The Brothers Karamozov, Les Miserables
Modern must reads: The Kite Runner, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
YA must reads: The Giver, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Authors I love: Mitch Albom, Jeffrey Archer (I've only read his short stories, though), Maeve Binchy, Bill Bryson, Alexander McCall Smith, Khaled Housseni, Torey Hayden,
Kids/YA authors I love: Kate DiCamilla, Blue Balliett, Lois Lowery, Richard Peck, Kate Klise (only her books in journal/letter form), Louis Sachar

5. Which websites do you visit regularly?

Up until the fall of 2007, I really only visited blogs and websites of people I knew. But, a friend sent me an e-mail about a funny e-bay auction by a mom who blogs and I went to her site. From there, I started bouncing around and really began to consider writing my own blog.

Here are the few that I visit daily:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/ameliagorton - my niece's leukemia site
http://www.mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/
http://www.testosterhome.net/
http://www.cardiogirl.net/
http://www.catherinewheels78.blogspot.com/
http://www.ladolcevitathesweetlifewiththreesons.blogspot.com/
http://www.lifeisaspasmwhoflow.blogspot.com/

Here are a few that I enjoy visiting less frequently:
The Maternal Optimist - her puns are fun;
boothe farley's blog - she writes about the recent loss of her daughter born with Trisomy-18 and her posts are always well-written and inspiring;
don't drool on my blue seude shoes - she actually gave up her blog for lent
kyle l white - a writer friend
bob hostetler - a writer friend
blisters and dimples - a friend's blog
soggy cheerios - her cakes are awesome
who's going to tell you? - funny
are we there yet - davisfarmmom - beautiful photos of CO, and amazing mother of 10
my semblance of sanity - quirky children's writer
ramblings of a madman - I might try his photo story challenge some day
momentary madness
existentialdilemmas.blogspot.com
the two regrets
flamingnet book blog

6. I am a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) radio junkie. The other day while listening to Spark (a program on CBC) I heard this: "The greatest disadvantage/advantage of the internet is that everyone is a publisher." I promptly wrote it down on an old receipt because it got me thinking. As bloggers we are bound to think it is an advantage. What are your thoughts on this quote?

I completely agree with the statement that "the greatest disadvantage/advantage of the internet is that everyone is a publisher." I appreciate the advantages of publishing on the internet. I have never felt so much freedom with my writing. I thoroughly enjoy going on when I feel like it, when I feel like I have something I want to write about. I love getting feedback on my words from others. I love expressing myself. When I was a teen and young adult, I wrote letters passionately. People saved my letters. When I wrote them, I sometimes even photocopied them because I thought I could never again communicate what I had said as clearly. When I went to the mission field briefly, I sent letters back to my church, and always received comments from many who appreciated reading my letters. Now, I feel like writing my blog is, in a way, writing an open letter to friends and a family and anyone else who might find an interest in my words.

However, I do agree that it could present itself as a disadvantage. Anyone can publish a blog. Some of the blogs I have visited have very little content, indeed, nothing to keep me coming back for more. Of course, I don't return. My ultimate goal is to get a book published one day. When I think of that goal, I think of all the millions of manuscipts that pass publishers desks each day. It is not an easily won prize. But, I wouldn't want it to be. Many people encourage writers to self-publish. I'm not opposed to self-publishing, but it seems like if something is really good, someone else should want to read it and, for that matter, want to publish it.

I think that self-publishing has a place. My mother has asked me to write a book of memories for our family (a memoir of sorts, but a familial memoir). If I did that, I would probably only seek to self-publish. It has meaning for a particular set of people.

I think blogging is kind of the middle road between these two options. I am not packaging what I write for sale - anyone can view it for free. But, I am self-publishing it because I am deciding that what I write is important enough to be put out there to be read by others.

I am thankful for blogs, though, because the blogosphere has become, for me, the writer's group that I lack in my new location. I can read other writers and encourage them. I can put my writing out there for comment. I can make new friends who share my interests or obsessions. What a gift at this time in my life. I don't know if I will always need blogging. But for now, I would say that I really do NEED it in my life to keep me sane.