Book Review: A Lifelong Love - Highly Recommend

Once I finished Gary Thomas' book, Loving Him Well, I searched Hoopla to check for another audio book I could listen to while I exercise. I enjoy listening to his books because they keep me focused on the words instead of the movement. Yet, I'm frustrated by the desire to stop and write things down. Thus, this is the second time that I have listened to a Gary Thomas book clear through, then sought the e-book to take notes for myself. I'm hoping, now that I've gone through A Lifelong Love twice, I will retain some of the valuable lessons. How I pray my marriage will improve and stand firm as I consider the biblical teaching in these books!

The subtitle captures the essence of this book's message: Discovering How Intimacy With God Breathes Passion into Your Marriage. We cannot be closer to our spouse if we do not seek closeness first with our heavenly Father. The book breaks the marriage foundation into three pillars: spiritual intimacy, relational intimacy, and devotional intimacy. Once again, Thomas flips things on their head by suggesting a new perspective. He recommends asking this simple question: "What if my son's wife treated him the way I treat my husband?" He entertains the idea of God in a father-in-law role. God is the spiritual Father of our spouse. He desires we treat his child with respect, love, and consideration. That simple question is so convicting. He suggests, "Make God clap today by honoring His son/daughter."

Another convicting thought Thomas raises:

"At the judgement seat we will be asked, 'Did we respond to… God’s mercy by sitting on our hands and soaking up His blessings while filling our days with worthless pursuits and selfish preoccupations? Or did we, like Paul, work with the urgency and understanding that we must give an account of our days to our Lord?'”

Finally, he recommends an attitude adjustment. Don't get hyper-focused on getting your needs met. Instead, make your goal to bless your spouse. I found it hard to list ways I had demonstrated kindness to my spouse in the past week. Here is one final bit of his sound advice:

"Be careful about demanding that your spouse speak your love language or meet your need… One goal of biblical love should be that our spouses are far more aware of what we like about them than they are of what they do that frustrates us.”

I am certainly not an MVP in marriage. But, I press on to the goal. I'm open to learning more about how God wants to grow my faith through the challenges my marriage presents. He wants me to be holy. Who knows, maybe in getting holier, I'll also get happier.