Book Review: Acedia and Me

Recently, I contacted my writer friend, Kyle White, to recommend Andrew Peterson's creativity book, Adorning the Dark. He fired back his own suggestion of a read that conveyed him through much of the early days of the pandemic. I immediately set out to acquire a copy of Kathleen Norris's Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life. Of course, the title alone is a mouthful. I thought, "what in the world is acedia and what does it have to do with writing, marriage, or monks and how do those three things intersect?" I had to slow my processes down. Each page was worth savoring. Norris writes descriptively and prescriptively. I copied down more quotes than I could ever fit in a book review.

Acedia is hard to pin down. It is depression. It is discontent. But it is intense. At one point she describes it as "weariness, despair, ennui, boredom, restlessness, impasse, futility... easily recognized by anyone who has ever felt stymied, whether in writing, art, prayer, marriage or parenting." She also writes, "Acedia is a danger to anyone whose work requires great concentration and discipline yet is considered by many to be of little practical value. The world does not care if I write another word." Oh, how I relate! Have I not written precisely that many a time?

But what encouraged me was her insistence that acedia, whether or not a sin, must be fought against with determination. If we give in to this despair, we sacrifice the gift of a new day with all its potential. We wallow in it, when we should rise above it to lay our possibilities, our words, our gifts before the Lord. Acedia not only affects writing, it plays into our worship and our relationships; thus, the title. She writes quite a bit about monastic community, and although I have no experience with this, I have great interest.

Two other tangents stood out to me. One involves a criticism I share over the vociferous fomentation on social media. I struggle with several good friends who not only post rants against those who do not share their political perspectives, but also call into question how such could consider themselves Christians. Norris quotes Alasdair MacIntyre, "how often the self-proclaimed defenders of the right and the good do not seem to have noticed [in themselves] the vices of pomposity... exaggeration, and self-righteousness." Or another quote, by Garret Keizer, we "treat our churches as if they were political parties instead of the body of Christ, making them vulnerable to crass manipulation by idealogues."

But the second, I wanted to pin up on my board. In speaking of God's grace, Norris writes:

"The comedy of grace is that it so often comes to us as loss, sorrow, and foul-smelling waste; if it came as gain, gladness, and sweetly scented flowers, we would not be grateful.... It is... much harder to recognize this grace when it comes as pain and unwelcome change. In the depths of our confusion and anger, we ask: 'How can this be God's love? Where is God in this disaster?' For grace to be grace, it must give us things we didn't know we needed and take us places where we didn't want to go. As we stumble through the crazily altered landscape of our lives, we find that God is enjoying our attention as never before. And maybe that's the point. It is a divine comedy."

This has been so true in my life. Pain draws me closer to God, drives me into His arms, and demonstrates that God's ways are often counterintuitive. It is like the Laura Story song, "What if His Blessings Come Through Raindrops?" We struggle to see the rain for all its glorious life-giving potential because we focus on the downpour and the sticky, wet feel of our clinging clothes.

So, thank you, Kyle. I loved this introduction to Kathleen Norris. She packs so much wisdom and insight into her pages. Her writing, as a poet, is lyrical and true, full of observations and challenges. I will fight my personal battle with acedia with greater recognition, thanks to this book. 

Book Blurb: Reaching Your Prodigal

If you're not already sick to death of hearing about books for parents of prodigals, read on! Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now? by Phil Waldrep offers more wisdom on how to parent a prodigal. I struggled with this book. Although I could relate to the situations and concerns expressed by parents in the book, it seemed to offer answers I believe are a lot harder to discern. This author has no experience parenting a prodigal. Even if a person thoroughly researches a topic, there is nothing like immersion by fire. I'm not saying I disagree with his positions or recommendations. It simply lacked the humility and prostrate nature of the previous book on praying for your prodigal. If I believe that my prodigal's path is in God's control, I'm not so sure there is a prescription that will work across the board for parents of prodigals. My best bet in reaching my prodigal remains relentless prayer and fasting, and persistent love.

Will I Have Enough Resolve?

In December 2013, I posted about a marvelous purchase that has brought tremendous benefits over the years since. My treadmill was a godsend. Although I enjoy walking outdoors, my routine was always sporadic, diminished by cold or wet weather. The only time I remained disciplined was during the month of November when I needed the morning walk to process what I would write about for my National Novel Writing Month task. Once I had the treadmill, my routine solidified to walking 5 or 6 mornings each week.

Sadly, my brisk pace has slowed and my endurance flagged because of knee pain. Enter my newest purchase. I noticed an ad on NextDoor for an Exerpeutic recumbent bike (same brand as my faithful treadmill) for $100. The owner explained that after knee replacement surgery she intended to use it but seldom did (indeed, the accrued mileage was at 240 miles). 

I think my husband fears my intentions will go awry as well. We placed it next to the treadmill so I can still listen to my books on CD while working out. I told him my plan: As long as the knee pain isn't too debilitating, I will continue to walk between 20 and 40 minutes every morning. I will add bike time in the afternoons or evenings. So far, I've only managed 5 minutes increments. Groan. I hope to increase that to ten, fifteen, then twenty. Will my resolve for the bike be the same as for the treadmill? We shall see.

Of course, when spring comes I may want to take to the walking trail they positioned just across from our front meadow (indeed, they plowed through our grass and extended the trail a good 5 or 6 feet into what we thought was our property, but have since figured it must actually be along the accurate property line). 

My husband tells me they plan to curve the path and extend it along our meadow and woods.

One of these days, we'll have people walking directly across from our front door - oh joy! I doubt we'll be able to keep people from trespassing in our woods. So much for our little home oasis being isolated (see About Me).

Book Blurb: Prayers for Prodigals

Parenting a prodigal is unpleasant. Often a host of emotions hitch a ride on the journey: guilt, despair, rejection, judgment, fear, impatience, uncertainty, and disappointment. James Banks knows the path I'm on with my prodigal. His wisdom comes from well-worn experience. Prayers for Prodigals: 90 Days of Prayer for Your Child is broken into 13 weeks of entries. Banks introduces each week with a personal essay. Each day offers a prayer, supported by Scripture, covering all the topics parents of prodigals must face. This book encourages the reader to "partner with God, through prayer, to change your child's eternal future by bringing your son or daughter into a vital relationship with Jesus. Nothing in this world or the next could possibly matter more." This book is very helpful, encouraging, and reassuring.

Book Blurb: Floriography

Reminder to self - less random books. My library sends out listings of all the new holdings. I am often enticed by these prospects. Floriography: An Illustrated Guide to the Victorian Language of Flowers, by Jessica Roux, drew my attention for several reasons. I love the Victorian era - the time in which floriography (communication through use of flowers), well, flourished. I love the symbolism of using flowers to communicate sentiments. Moreover, I named a few characters in my novels after particular flowers. Sadly, I did not find their flowers referenced in this book. It is easy to digest. Each page presents a flower, and the associated meanings. The illustrations are gorgeous. Still, I finished wishing the author had presented a bit more information (perhaps even examples of floriography for particular flowers as seen in Victorian literature). Beautiful companion for your coffee table.

Book Blurb: Audacious

I didn't get much out of this book. Basically, it revises Beth Moore's mission statement. (Hmm - what would I claim as a mission statement? Sorry, sidetracked.) She adds two words to an already noble goal: to see ALL women come to know and AUDACIOUSLY love Jesus Christ through the study of Scripture. "All" is an audacious and perhaps unrealistic goal. God has never promised or even implied that ALL would come to know Him. It is clear from Scripture that many will remain blinded to His presence and His power. Some will even think they belong to God, but remain blind to their true condition (2 Timothy 3:5 - "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof" and Matthew 7:23 - "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity.") Still, one can't fault her for trying. She's accomplishing far more for the gospel than I ever will. So if her book encouraged even a smidgeon more boldness in me, it was a worthwhile read.

Book Review: Four Umbrellas

This is the review that almost wasn't - not thanks to my cognitive impairment necessarily, but thanks to my careless elbow landing on the trash button of my phone. I have taken to writing some of my book reviews on my phone while waiting for my son at his ranch job. I would be sunk if it weren't for my technologically savvy and cognitively healthy sons - ha! Sean immediately showed me how to retrieve the recently deleted note full of my book reviews. Shwew!

Four Umbrellas is a memoir of a couple's experience with early-onset Alzheimer's. It was very difficult to read, in light of many recognizable traits. I'm probably magnifying my risks because of my mother's diagnosis, but when multiple episodes cluster, I grow anxious. For example, someone hit our mailbox and knocked off one number. John asked me to make the simple fix, but I put the one on the wrong end, making it say 1011 instead of 1101. He worried we may have missed a package delivery before he noticed and fixed it. I felt guilty, frustrated, and scared. I have also had mishaps with our coffee maker (granted, it is early morning - often 4 a.m., but still ...) One day, I ran the individual coffee side without a mug (coffee all over the counter and dripping onto the floor). Then, I ran the carafe side without water another day. I forgot to add sugar to my zucchini loaves (thankfully, I taste-tested our loaf before gifting the second loaf). Hopefully, John's birds enjoyed those dry loaves. I could laugh off one incident, but many leave me cringing.

The title of the book comes from an incident where the husband packed four umbrellas. It also could symbolize the four over-arching cognitive decline severity stages (NCI, SCI, MCI, and dementia) or four types of dementia (Alzheimer's, Lewy Body Dementia, Vascular Dementia, and Fronto Temporal Dementia). Since both the husband and the wife are writers (should I say "was" for him), they divide the segments into storytelling from the wife's perspective and insights from the husband's. The structure jumps around a bit, but it tells a heart-wrenching tale of loss. From a sharp acuity with words to rambling tangents, the husband's own involvement clearly reveals how devastating the process toward dementia can be. These are shoes I would rather only walk in through memoir, but will I have a choice?

Book Review: Freezing and Thawing

Last year, one of my favorite Christmas gifts from my husband was my blogging friend Maria Novajosky's new book, An Ocean, an Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses. This year, my husband snagged the newest book from my writer friend Kyle L. White (from my old writer's group in Illinois), Freezing and Thawing: New and Revised Stories from the Midwest. Not only that, he bought my favorite print from his on-line store. I propped it up in my bookish desk alongside another gem he found - a small motivational decoration that reads "Write Your Own Story."

Freezing and Thawing - What an adventure! Old familiar paths (circus museum, my favorite) branch off into invigorating new terrain (an essay comparing writing to hunting). As always, before you realize it, casual observation slips into deeper territory. From the comedy of an in-house haircut (thank you, pandemic) illustrating our need to care for one another, to removal of a fish hook prompting reflections on God's touch in our wounds. White's words trigger contemplation and conviction. They induce self-assessment. They remind of God's grace. What rises to the surface is the most important question of all: Am I living and loving as I should?

Analysis/Favorite Reads of 2020

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

The general sentiment is "good riddance, 2020!" For many years, I have ended with an annual round-up of between 6 and 10 highly recommended books. This year, I noticed that I only "Highly Recommended" four (one grown-up novel, two middle-grade novels, and one non-fiction title - although it was quasi-fictional, if you ask me). One might get the impression that it was a less-than-stellar reading year, but the overall analysis paints a different picture. It was certainly a different year, but out of 79 books, only 6 were disappointing. I'd say 73 three to five star books represents a good year. While the majority were average (3 to 3-1/2 star), a whopping 30 made between 4 and 5 stars. So, despite a lack of enthusiasm for specific ones, I'm calling it a worthwhile endeavor. 

I'll get to my five favorites in a bit, but for now, I want to review what the reading year looked like. I seemed to lean toward non-fiction. Hmm, was I having a hard time submerging myself into artificial lives when reality registered a bit too harsh? 51 (65 %) of the books I read were non-fiction, while only 28 (35%) were fiction. In non-fiction, 27 titles were biography or memoir. In fiction, I read 17 grown-up novels, 9 middle-grade novels, and 2 young adult novels. I read far more Christian literature than I have in the past (28% of my reading was Christian). This reflects my suspicions that publishers are forcing authors to fill modern books with garbage, because garbage sells. Groan. It is getting harder and harder to find a clean read. Rather than a true reflection of society, I wonder if it represents an agenda to skew society's mores. I no longer trust the bestseller lists.

In looking at quantity - my year started out slow. I read 10 books in the first quarter, 20 in the second, 23 in the third, and 26 in the fourth. I read 24,541 pages, or about 2045 pages per month. Somehow I devoured more audio books than I ever anticipated (23 or 29%). I registered 230.25 hours in book listening (while I do listen in the car sometimes, this still reflects a lot of treadmill time).

I read a good many by authors I have loved in the past: William Kent Krueger, Leif Enger, Francine Rivers, Fredrik Backman, Rachel Joyce, Kate DiCamillo, Gary D. Schmidt, Lauren Wolk, Bill Bryson, Jordan Raynor, and Erik Larson. Some I expected to love but didn't (Anxious People; The Body: A Guide for Occupants; Raymie, Louisiana, and Beverly). Most lived up to my expectations, though.

So, the big reveal:

My #1 pick: Miss Benson's Beetle - loved, loved, loved it! Loved the characters, loved the quest, loved the redemption!

My #2 pick: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - having been in counseling, I could relate!

Final 3: 

Echo Mountain 

Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy 

This Tender Land 

Goals for 2021: Read smarter, less random selections! Read less, pray more!