Compilation: 15 Books About Dementia

Even prior to my mother's dementia diagnosis, I sought books on that topic. I suppose it began with a book club selection, Still Alice. Many in my book club could relate to the story by Lisa Genova. I did not know I would one day be able to relate as well. Although it can be a quite depressing topic, it is not without hope. Some of these books are non-fiction. Some are fiction. Each offers something to hold on to in order to get through the darkness. Here are 15 books I have read and reviewed (in chronological order to when I read them, earliest to most recent):

1. Still Alice by Lisa Genova - novel
2. Dancing With Rose by Lauren Kessler - memoir
3. The Patient's Playbook by Leslie D. Michelson  - non-fiction
4. Brain Maker by Dr. David Perlmutter - non-fiction
5. Switch by Ingrid Law - middle-grade novel
6. Before I Forget by B. Smith and Dan Gasby - memoir
7. Where the Light Gets In by Kimberly Williams-Paisley - memoir
8. The Forgetting Time by Sharon Guskin  - novel
9. Goodbye Vitamin by Rachel Khong  - novel
10. The Aging Brain by Dr. Timothy Jennings - non-fiction
11. The End of Alzheimer's and The E. of A. Program by Dr. Dale E. Bredesen - non-fiction
12. How to Forget by Kate Mulgrew - memoir
13. Walking Through Twilight by Douglas Groothuis - memoir
14. Four Umbrellas by June Hutton and Tony Wanless - memoir
15. Biohack Your Brain by Kristen Willeumier, PhD - non-fiction 

We decided to watch Still Alice on Saturday night. Given all of my recent brain blunders and speech slips, it was hard to watch. Just yesterday, I was trying to say "egg shell" and could only get out "egg thingie." My siblings have asked if I will take the genetic testing to see if I'm a carrier of the Alzheimer gene, but frankly that terrifies me. I'd rather not know. Plus, the movie indicated if one tests positive, it is a 100 percent chance the individual will present with dementia at some point in the future. To be given that finality is, perhaps, more than I could bear. Whatever happens, it is in God's hands.

Book Review: The Puzzler

Prior to her decline into dementia, my mother shared my passion for puzzles. I try to start my day with quiet time in God's Word, but starting immediately isn't conducive because my brain is still sluggish. To fix the problem, I start my day with a Fill-In puzzle. My mother-in-law was always keen on crossword puzzles. I find those too hard. Fill-Ins are a magical sort of puzzle because they provide the words and you fit them in the grid.

Fill-Ins did not appear in this fascinating study of puzzles written by A. J. Jacobs, The Puzzler: One Man's Quest to Solve the Most Baffling Puzzles Ever, from Crosswords to Jigsaws to the Meaning of Life. Two words in the subtitle clarify why Fill-Ins didn't make the grade. Fill-Ins are for those who want a slow jaunt for the brain, not a Kilimanjaro climb. Still, I love them. A few of my Fill-In books even have other ones I favor: Frameworks, Letterboxes, and Stretch Letters. Revs the engine, but doesn't tax the noggin.

Right from the start, I appreciated Jacobs' sense of humor. He mentions that the Rubik's Cube makers billed it as having over 3 billion combinations. Apparently, that was a gross underestimation. It has 43 quintillion combinations, but they figured most of us cannot fathom a number that large. To show the absurdity, he said that's like saying, "McDonalds - over 2 served." 

Jacobs articulates that thrill I feel when I solve a jigsaw puzzle or cryptogram (used to get those in the Indy Star, but no longer subscribe). His book breaks down all sorts of puzzles: Crosswords, Anagrams, Rebuses, Jigsaws, Mazes, Sudoku, Puzzle Boxes, and British Cryptics (yikes, no thank you). He goes above and beyond to reach out to the ultimate examples of each of these puzzles. The book even contains a puzzle contest. But, don't get too excited. Someone has already found the clue in the book, solved the requisite puzzles and won the $10,000 prize. I did not take the time to think on any of the puzzles in the book, but it was a delightful and fun read anyway. 

Book Review: No Such Thing as Ordinary

When we first moved to this house in Indiana, I was an older mother with 1 pre-teen and 2 infant boys. I may have been able to do it all when I had Bryce. In my early 30s, I worked to provide us with an income while my husband was in graduate school. I cared for our home and our one child. I attended church and Bible study. Everything went smoothly and life felt very fulfilling.

But having small children in your 40s is nothing like raising an only child in your 30s. Too frazzled to join Bible Study Fellowship, I could barely handle caring for our kids, let alone our house. Their constant need for Mommy left me drained at the end of each day. I sought something for myself - some small place where I could reclaim my brain and my interests - late at night on the computer. I stayed up later and later, reading the blogs of other mothers facing these dilemmas.

My favorite bloggers often had sons. After all, boys can be a breed apart. Their energy, intensity, curiosity, and drive can bring a mom to her knees. (Ah, they are no longer small, but they still bring me to my knees - this time in intense prayer.) Thus, I followed Rachel Balducci's blog, Testosterhome. It was one of my favorites, and I enjoyed a kinship with Rachel and her passel of boys. Her blog inspired her first book, How to Tuck in a Superhero. I wasn't aware of her next two titles: Make My Life Simple, and Overcommitted. Her newest book, No Such Thing as Ordinary, is right up my alley and addresses familiar inner battles.

Rachel outlines the struggle many mothers face with lives focused on the cares and concerns of a family. The tasks can feel mundane. The days long. Life goes on auto-pilot and previous goals or dreams get put on hold. As she says, "You can love your kids and also feel like life is passing you by." I've been there, wondering if this is all there is. Am I doing everything God wants of me when my focus is always on meeting the needs of my family? Or is there something bigger out there for me to do?

No Such Thing as Ordinary reminds the reader that this longing for something bigger is truly our God-shaped hole. God doesn't want us to seek bigger dreams to fill that hole. Rather, He wants us to get quiet with Him and let Him satisfy these deep needs that we often mistake as a longing for deeper purpose. Using the Bible passage about the woman at the well, Balducci points the reader to the satisfaction God offers with His living water. If we try to satisfy that longing with something else, we will need more. But when we allow God to step in and meet our deepest needs, He fills that inner void and heals our wounds. When we define ourselves by what we do, we remain disillusioned. When we define ourselves by His love, we find peace.

One image she uses in the book spoke volumes to me. She explains you don't survive incoming waves by trying to rise above them, bracing against them, or avoiding and withstanding the shattering swell. The secret is to go deeper. When you plunge beneath the oncoming water, you are not overwhelmed. You absorb the blast and survive the onslaught. I love that image. When life is battering, go deeper!

I appreciated her acknowledgement that we need to recognize our inner poverty. How can He fill us if we're not even aware of how much we need Him? Plus, she didn't encourage the reader to seek closeness with God through efforts to follow Him. He meets us. We don't need to strive for some sort of strictly reciprocal relationship. Indeed, I heard her emphasis, "Get quiet before God and He will come fill the space and give you joy." Our lives may seem ordinary, but they become extraordinary when God moves into every facet of life and fills us.

Book Review: Lucky for Good

My memory can be a dodgy mess. I assumed I had read the first book in this trilogy by Susan Patron (a Newbery Award winner, The Higher Power of Lucky). So I picked up this audio version of the last book in the trilogy. Yet, I cannot find a record of the first book on my blog, and I don't really recall the story line. Perhaps I abandoned that book.

To be honest, this book will NOT be for everyone. Many gave Lucky for Good a five star review. I, too, saw the thoughtful characters facing realistic challenges. I loved the story of moving an old cabin down to the town, which was full of tension and adventure. Who wouldn't root for a young girl, abandoned by her father and basically orphaned by her mother's death? The adoptive mother, Brigitte, is a lovely character. The book explores family ties and recognizes that children have questions and concerns.

All of that is true, and the book taps many truths about life. Yet, I cannot embrace the worldview this book promotes. It is very pluralistic and relativistic. It encourages children to identify God as "the God of all our understandings," an emblem Lucky writes on her family tree. Its message is, "believe what you want." Denying absolute truth, even mocking those who cling to the cross of Christ as the only way to reconciliation with our Creator, this book proclaims that many perspectives can all be followed equally. It is the typical blurring in using the term "higher power." Your higher power is deemed every bit as effective as whatever I choose as my higher power. 

As Lucky struggles with questions about religion and Darwinism, heaven and hell, she lands on society's standard solution - make your own path. I am not saying, "don't read this with your kids." I'm saying, "read this along with your kids, so you can discuss the subtle deception society wants to foist on our children." If my sons had picked up this book, I would have wanted to know that it ridicules my beliefs, nullifies Christ, and treats the Bible as just another book. It even suggests it was, perhaps, written "by God when he was six." Seriously? I cannot review this without warning those who mistake it for a "Christian" book, only to discover it pits science against faith (of course, landing on the impression that these are mutually exclusive, and that science is truth where faith is fiction).

Book Review: Watching the Road

I continue to seek insights from other authors into the journey with a prodigal. After reading Tami Winkelman's Encouragement in the Waiting, I came across this book by Karen Wheaton. I don't know how I missed finding it before, when I made my thorough search of resources for parents of prodigals (available as a free 10-page pdf on my author website). Now, I will have to update that document to add this important resource, Watching the Road: Praying Your Prodigal Home.

Wheaton's book provides a heart-felt personal tale of watching her wayward daughter make decisions she knows will damage her life and the lives of all those around her. How devastating to be involved in Christian ministry while your child's life implodes in front of the eyes of others. As a parent, you feel judged even if they don't point out the missteps. Not only was Karen Wheaton involved in ministry, but her prodigal daughter and son-in-law were, as well. Talk about error in the public eye!

When her daughter, Lindsey, left her marriage to seek personal freedom, Karen ramped up her prayer efforts and, despite temptations to give up, persisted in petitioning God's throne for her child's return. Thankfully, this book reveals a victory. Many parents are still in the thick of the battle and for many, that war rages for years. If you don't read the book (perhaps it is too painful to listen to tales of other successes when your loss is so raw), at least check it out for the final chapter, "The Last Word." It provides an outline of the best weapons for warfare: fasting, prayer (I loved this line: "You pray until you touch Heaven. And you keep praying until Heaven touches you."), the Word (promises on index cards are helpful), believing (avoid "believing what you see versus believing what He says"), obedience (praise is so important), and watching (never give up hope). Her encouragement is "keep your eyes on the road and get ready to run!"

Marvelous Local Romantic Getaway

We celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary on August 4th. My husband and I never plan elaborate celebrations. He doesn't like to travel and parental responsibilities often keep us close to home. I have a friend who just returned from an anniversary-marking Alaskan cruise. Her photos left me jealous, yet something like that was out of the question for us. Back in 2020, the pandemic (and other things) foiled our Mackinac Island plans for our 30th anniversary getaway. Our feeble substitute flopped because we only tackled a third of our 30 celebratory activities. In 2021, we took a day trip to Indiana's largest waterfall and then attended our friend's play in Urbana, Illinois, fitting in a brief visit with my mother-in-law (such a blessing, because we didn't realize it would be our last visit with her).

This year, I searched the Visit Indiana website for a romantic getaway option. It will not surprise my regular readers that a coupon lured me in - ha! Cabins and Candlelight in Colfax, Indiana, offers the fixings for a steak dinner if you book a weeknight visit before December 22, 2022. I highly recommend this destination if you live in the Indianapolis area and crave a simple romantic getaway. We had a delightful time and marvel that we were unaware of this local opportunity (only 40 minutes away from us).

I was expecting a cabin similar to the one I visited in Southern Indiana ten years ago for a writing retreat. While that cabin was isolated and quiet, the Colfax cabin was far more luxurious and accommodating for a romantic getaway. Every minute detail inside enhances a couple's stay. The owners set soft music playing on the stereo system and arrange two place settings at the cozy table (with a candle, should you want a candle-lit dinner). 

The kitchen is well-stocked with food and cooking supplies.

Behind the small table, there's a reclining couch and a chair for relaxing. The armoire holds many romantic CDs and DVDs, plus puzzles, games, and previous visitor logs.

I would have loved to cozy up with the visitor logs and simply read about previous visitors. From the few I read, many were quite touching. They mentioned retreating from a myriad of responsibilities, trials, and challenges. What a blessing to get away from the daily burdens of jobs, child-rearing, or cancer treatments. Many couples referred to their annual visit to celebrate their anniversary. It is a place you want to visit again and again.

I can't wait to come back to take advantage of the many opportunities we missed. We didn't use the inviting hot tub, 

nor sit to watch the birds and chipmunks on the back porch (too hot).

We brought our own DVD (a faith-based movie, Summer Snow, I had picked up at a garage sale recently), but so many of their titles were enticing. If we had planned a two-day visit, I could have completed a puzzle. And again, my natural curiosity makes me want to explore all those visitor logs.

This was, by far, the best anniversary getaway in the last decade. My selfie might be bad, but we have happy faces!

We enjoyed our steak dinner, with baked potatoes, pears, and cheesecake for dessert. In the morning, John whipped up a batch of his famous cheesy scrambled eggs. They provided a list of all the amenities and supplies, so we knew to pack slices of American cheese (for our eggs) and my favorite hazelnut creamer (for my coffee). After cleaning up the kitchen, we took a hike along their trails to the Sugar Creek.

Before we left, we admired another element of the woodsy cabin décor: a moose business card holder:

and we purchased a souvenir coffee mug (isn't it classy?):

Although we regretted leaving this calming oasis, we had one more goal to achieve: a stop in Thorntown, Indiana, to visit Stookey's Restaurant, known for their onion rings. We placed an order for a small serving, along with some salads. The stack was enormous; we ended up taking half the rings home.

The only improvement to the trip would have been a stop at Donaldson's Chocolatier in Lebanon, Indiana. But, by then, we were eager to get home and make sure the boys had not neglected the house and dog.

Book Review: Biohack Your Brain

With due date looming, I skimmed this book one afternoon. I continue to make verbal mistakes and brain blunders. It is hard not to see dementia hiding in every corner when such things happen. The other day, after putting down a new rug in Sean's room, I quipped, "Now we need to iron it." Of course, I meant "vacuum" it, but the faux pas made us snort with laughter. Underneath the laughter lies the terrifying question of a future similar to my mother's. If anyone is eager to "biohack" the brain, it's me.

Kristen Willeumier is a neuroscientist who studied NFL football players and the results of concussion. Even those most debilitated were able to reinvigorate their mental faculties. Willeumier declares that no matter what your age, there are easy steps you can take in the hopes of better brain health. She includes several excellent lists, like 10 ways to change your brain in 10 minutes: walk, eat dark chocolate (okay, I'm game), sit up straight, write with your non-dominant hand, eat blueberries, learn a new word, visualize ways to improve your day, spend 10 minutes away from devices, breathe essential oils, and keep a gratitude journal. Then there's a list of 10 brain games for a sharper mind: read, learn a new word a day, computer brain games, learn a new language, create art, volunteer, write creatively, do crossword/jigsaw puzzles, vary your way to work, and try something new.

Willeumier's book is full of dietary advice, exercise encouragement, supplement suggestions, and hydration advocacy. While I already follow much of her advice, I could be more intentional. She gears these steps toward the everyday individual. You don't have to shift everything in your life, but small steps will lead to change. As she exhorts: set realistic incremental goals, track your progress, have an accountability partner, and - most of all - enjoy it!

Book Review: Courage for Beginners

In skimming through my blog for entries in the 100 armchair travel post, I came across Karen Harrington's book, Sure Signs of Crazy, and remembered how much I enjoyed that one. Courage for Beginners tackles middle school problems, but it didn't resonate with me as much as the previous book. I'm not sure why. With plenty of conflict to fuel interest, I should have felt more engaged.

Mysti Murphy lives in Texas, but really lives inside the fabrications of her mind. This was tiresome instead of endearing. Throughout the book, sections begin with italicized sentences starting Here is a girl who... Now, I cannot complain, because I live in such fabrications myself at times. I imagine myself solving my problems in dramatic fashion or escaping the doldrums by embracing a different reality. And it is not as if Mysti lacks significant obstacles to inspire such dreams. She is up against the world.

Her father has fallen from a tree and is in a coma. This would be an ordinary challenge, except he holds the family together while agoraphobia cripples her mother. Now, with dad gone, and mom barely functioning, Mysti must carry them all. Perhaps she could lean on her friends. But no, her best friend is pretending he doesn't like her in a campaign to be cool. But is he pretending?

Since my response was less enthusiastic, I considered giving up on this author. However, then I read her acknowledgements page. Now, I am determined to give her books another go. Maybe this was just a case of a book not fitting at the right time or place. Of course, if you grew up with a mother with agoraphobia (and I knew a friend who may have struggled with that paralyzing ailment), the book might be a perfect fit.

Book Review: Around the World in Eighty Days

After the lengthy McCullough book, I was in the mood for something shorter. So, I picked up Jules Verne's Around the World in Eighty Days. This was published in serial form. It aroused so much excitement that "readers placed bets on the outcome of Phileas Fogg's endeavor." Serialized novels were all the rage, but are they making a comeback?

Last month, a sponsored ad appeared on my Facebook page for a book delivered in installments by letter (the Flower Letters). Yes, I opened the ad. No, I did not spend an arm and a leg to receive more interesting mail than usually comes in my post box. Are there really people willing to pay $12 a month for a year? $144 novel, just because they send it with stamps in 24 installments. Seriously? Now if only I could find a few writers in my writer's group willing to send their novels in installments, for review and critique, for the price of the stamps. That would be entertaining and productive in one go. Frankly, I'd be willing to send one of my novels, in installments, for just $5! It would be worth the difference to me to receive honest feedback. Anyone game?

But, back to the classic. At the gentleman's club where Phileas Fogg spends his time, he places a bet that he can traverse the entire globe in eighty days. The travel arrangements are fraught with obstacles and delays. Plus, a detective is trailing Fogg, convinced he is a criminal. I'm so glad I listened in audio form. I would have never pronounced the servant's name, Passepartout, correctly. They up the ante again and again, yet Fogg never flinches. He is determined to win his bet. I was determined to hear it out until I learned his outcome. My library has the 2004 movie version, but it is 3 hours long. Who has time for that?