Friday, November 21, 2008

Apparently He Supports the Death Penalty

Today was a full day. I know that I mentioned last month that my reading might taper off because I was in love with my niece's song. However, I have to confess that my reading was also affected by that blasted thief, the aging process.

I had an eye exam this morning. Lately, my eyes hurt when I try to read. I can no longer read the expiration date on coupons (and my husband, who wears glasses, laughs at this one). Things begin to blur. Of course, I had visions of coke-bottle glasses and yet another tally mark on the list of things sabotaging my self-image (other items on the list include a mid-section ruined by two c-sections in my 40's, graying hair that refuses to be pulled into the stylist's highlighting cap holes, and, of course, the ubiquitous toe-nail tragedy). It didn't help that my ES said "Neeee - you have to get glasses!" when he heard I was going in for an exam.

Now, I am breathing a sigh of relief for two reasons. First, the fuzzy sensation from the eye dilation wore off before I had to drive my MS to a birthday party. Second, the optometrist said my eyes looked very "young" and "healthy." I don't have to purchase prescription glasses (without insurance coverage). Instead, I can select a cheapo pair of reading glasses (a plus one was suggested - and if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you are obviously not over 40!). Knowing my track record with sunglasses, I'm guessing Santa just might bring me an extra pair in my stocking!

I insisted on an afternoon nap for MS (in fact, maybe he'll have a nap every day for the rest of the week, thanks to Wednesday's escapade). From the moment he woke, he was ablaze with enthusiasm for his first official birthday party invitation. The birthday boy is in his class at pre-school and the party was held at a Chuck E. Cheese's two towns away.

He and I both had a wonderful time. He received a cup with 20 tokens and managed to snag enough tickets to select two snakes, three frogs, a dinosaur, and a multi-colored pen. The birthday boy loved his Diego game (at first when I petitioned MS to ask the birthday boy what he wanted, MS kept telling me "All Joe wants is a birthday cake. Could you make him a birthday cake?" - finally, he came up with "Joe likes Diego"). I had wonderful, easy conversation with another preschool mother (this woman is amazing - she has 3 daughters, ages 7, 4 and 2 - and is attending law school ... in Michigan ... every weekend ... for the past 3 years - and I can't keep my house clean????).

During the drive home, I was explaining to MS that I am hoping to get the house cleaned and the Christmas decorations up this weekend. We had been planning on putting them up after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I was called for jury duty beginning December 2nd. Thankfully, my sister-in-law, who is a nurse, had already planned on staying an extra week at my in-laws. For now, the plan is for my mother-in-law to head over to Indiana on December 1st to watch the kids Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. (There is literally no way she could come without someone to care for my father-in-law). Hubby will be off Friday and Monday. At the one week point, if I am selected for the jury and the case is still in session, I am "up a creek without a paddle," or at least without a babysitter in the canoe.

Of course, the little guy didn't understand what a jury is and why Mom might have to spend her days in court. Thus began another teachable moment. I explained that sometimes people do things that are bad, like punching other people or stealing things, and the police have to arrest them. Then, they go to court and the judge and jury decide whether the person did the bad thing and should be sent to jail or not.

At first, he was very concerned. He said, "Mom, I don't want you to have to go to jail."

I could have replied, "Mom will only have to go to jail if I leave you home alone while I go to fulfill my civic duty." Instead, I sweetly answered, "No, buddy! Mom hasn't done anything bad. I have to help decide if the accused person has done something bad and then say if I think he should go to jail or pay a fine or something."

Then, he came up with this all on his own (although, I do know that the preschool recently visited the police department - hmmm??):

"Sometimes bad guys steal someone's house. I think if a bad guy steals someone's house, the police should put those handcuffs on him and then put him in a tank of water until he has no breath in him and then he will die."

Good thing he doesn't have to worry about jury duty yet! He's not too cut up about the Christmas decorations going up early either. He said he wants to push the button and make the Grinch's heart light up on that Grinch Christmas ornament we have! The only way I see the Grinch's heart lighting up these days, is if they fail to select me for the jury and send me home to my excessively needy children.

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