Making a Difference

I guess this is the month for inspiring, heart-warming tales. After a frustrating evening with my own 12 year old, I'd much rather focus on something positive and encouraging. So tonight, I am making mental plans to reserve Sunday night (note to self: this means getting the kids to bed before 9 p.m., before 10 p.m., even before 10:30 p.m. ... unlike TONIGHT!).

At 9 p.m. (8 p.m. Central time) on Sunday, December 7th, CBS will air a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie called, "Front of the Class." It is, apparently, the story of Brad Cohen, a young man with Tourette Syndrome who dreamed of becoming a teacher. He was turned down by 24 schools before one school finally gave him a chance. I was able to watch four brief interview questions with Brad Cohen (here), where he encourages other teachers to determine to be the teacher who makes a difference in a young child's life.

My first thought was of how I probably failed just such a student as Brad Cohen. Although my passion was to become an English teacher, after only one year teaching English, I found myself teaching a Basic Life Skills class with special ed. students. It ended up being a really great job, one which I will always look back on with fond memories. It was also a perfect fit because the class only met for two hours and I was able to have the best of both worlds. I was still in a classroom, working with students, yet I was fully a stay-at-home mother (only missing my infant's nap time).

My students were challenging for a variety of reasons. They came with plenty of baggage and different learning disabilities. They made me laugh and they gave me loads of pleasant memories and stories, but they also tested my patience and stretched me. One student had Tourette Syndrome.

Looking back, I doubt I was the supportive "make-a-difference" teacher that a student with Tourette's would need. I can remember feeling frustrated with his tics and outbursts. It disrupted my class. I didn't want my classroom disrupted. I'm not saying I was unsympathetic. I probably was, but I do remember many times feeling drained dealing with this particular student.

But, after dwelling on a situation where I may not have been the "make-a-difference" teacher, I realized that there were other occasions where I certainly played that role. In fact, it made me think of a student I still remember with great fondness, Mike P.

Mike P. was not the student I was assigned to work with, when I worked as an individual assistant at my son's elementary school. However, he sat right next to my student and on the very first day of class in that third grade classroom, I noticed how quiet and withdrawn he was. I soon learned that he had recently lost a younger sibling.

One of the perks of my aide position was that I always had ample opportunities to talk books with the students. I love books and I love to talk about books. Ms. McKee, the fabulous teacher who guided our days, shared my passion for books.

One day, early in the year, we sat in our island of four desks (myself in a chair next to Jenny, the student I assisted), discussing books. I mentioned that I had tried the popular book, A Series of Unfortunate Events , but that I didn't really like the book. I outlined my grievances. I didn't like the way the author stops continually to give definitions of words. I didn't like the baby talk of the youngest sibling. I didn't like the formulaic feel of the book.

Amazingly, Mike spoke up. He said that he would probably like that book if I would read it to him. Mike was a quiet kid. He wouldn't come out and say that he couldn't read the book himself, yet he was willing to venture that he would enjoy hearing the book. I decided to take him up on this little challenge. I sought the permission of Ms. McKee, who thought it a tremendous idea, and we began leaving the classroom for ten or fifteen minutes (I think it was during the D.E.A.R. time, Drop Everything And Read, immediately after lunch) to sit in the library and read A Series of Unfortunate Events, beginning with book one, The Bad Beginning.

Over the course of three years, we read through ten of the books. During his fourth and fifth grade years, we read after school and then I drove him home. If we had remained in DeKalb, and Mike had continued to be willing, I would have read the entire series. In fact, to this day, I continue to collect the series for him. Just this morning, I saw another copy of book two in a thrift store and thought of Mike. I'm pretty sure I've already given him that one (if not, it is waiting on the shelf with the others).

I sincerely hope that I was able to make a difference in his life. I was deeply fond of him. I appreciated the opportunity he gave to me (you all know that my own ES would not have allowed me to read this series to him). I watched him make great strides as a student and as an individual over the years. It wasn't always pleasant. He often held me at arm's length, if he thought I had treated him unfairly in the classroom (remember, I functioned as a co-teacher in many of his classrooms). But, he always came around again and sought those story times.

Of course, I hope that I can make a significant difference in my own son's life as well, as his parent. Tonight, was a rough patch for us. Indeed, tonight it was ES holding me at arm's length, unwilling to let me in on what was really bothering him. And other issues led to raised voices and disagreement. Sometimes, it is a lot easier to look at situations where I was able to make a difference in a student's life than to look at situations in my own home where I might be failing to make the difference I long for in my own son's life. Thankfully, I know that we're looking at the short-term right now. Maybe the long-term will bear out my efforts on his behalf.