Beautiful Trees and Warthogs Dressed in Tutus

After months of gloom and dirty snow, earth is doing what it does best this time of year. It is presenting vibrant colors and showing off blossoms that we wouldn't have dreamed were hiding beneath the surface just a month or two ago. Every time I leave the house, I notice another plant or tree that I want to see and know more of.

My mother-in-law is here for a brief visit and I found myself asking her for identifications because I am so pathetic when it comes to identifying the bits of nature that I love. Sadly, within minutes of her explanations, my brain has already lost the words she produced so readily. I asked the name of the bright purple flowering trees. I believe she said they were Red-Buds and I did search that and found an Indiana tree listing and the photo for Eastern Red-Buds does look like what I am seeing. There are other flowering trees with pinkish and white buds. I believe she said those were dogwoods (or did she say cottonwoods?).

The really sad thing is that even if I stopped at a house and requested information on a beautiful flower or tree in the yard, I know that I would never be able to grow it myself. I have no talent for growing, it seems, only for killing things I try to grow.

I recently saw a cute little Strawberry plant in the dollar section at Target. It was only a buck, so I thought "what the heck, I'll try it." The cute little miniature flower pot still sits on my kitchen window sill, devoid of anything but the mock dirt it came with. I did plant the seeds (as it suggested). I did water it ... a few times. My problem is that I fail to water it regularly and really have no clue how much to water a plant.

Anyway, at least I live in an area where the landscape is now bursting with color and I can wander around taking my fill of the prowess other gardeners possess. I just hope these colors stick around for a bit. We have two bushes near our garage (I'll have to ask my mother-in-law for their identification tomorrow, and write down her response) that recently burst forth with beautiful purple flowers. Sadly, a few days ago, I noticed that the buds are already wilting and going away. I indignantly asked my husband if that is all we get, just a few days of beauty and then it goes back to looking like an average green bush???? What a tease!

This is not the only realm where I recognize my ignorance and longingly observe someone else's ability to pull off beauty that I can't seem to touch. Indeed, I am equally clueless, it seems, when it comes to fashion.

Most of the time, this stems from a staunch unwillingness to pay for what looks most appealing or within the current fashion trends. I typically want to find comfortable clothes on the cheap. Thus, I shop at thrift stores and clearance racks. I fully realize that the clothes in these locations are cast-offs, the no-longer desirables. But, if I can find a reasonably nice top that I like for a few bucks, well I feel a sense of justification, regardless of the fact that the style may be outdated.

Just as I have been noticing colors in nature around me (sometimes, as if for the first time), I have also been noticing colors and items in fashion. The other day, I begged some time away from the boys because K-mart advertised their winter clearance for $1.99 across the board. I went, hoping to find a few simple tops that I could wear next winter.

I took four clearanced tops and a clearanced skirt to the fitting room. With almost every item, I gasped and ripped the piece off, thinking, "hideous."

Before I left the fitting room, I decided to try on a cute Jaclyn Smith outfit that someone had left in the fitting room. It was a simple tee and a pair of jeans. The jeans were horrendous - way too long for my petite frame. But the top was really cute. Plus, I felt that it drew attention to my bust and away from my remaining baby paunch.

I decided to return to the Jaclyn Smith section and see if they had the top in other colors. Alas, I couldn't even find a similar top. However, I found a few other cute tops and decided to try them on, along with a pair of white crop pants. I ended up leaving the store with one $1.99 clearanced top, 3 Jaclyn Smith tops, the white crop pants and three pairs of shoes. I paid $72. Unheard of, for me, but I still snagged quite a bargain (since the Jaclyn Smith line was on sale for 40% off and two of the pairs of shoes were only $5 each).

Want to see what I bought? The cute tee that led me out of clearance and into the fresh lines: women's lace trim tee, A floral print ruched shell top , and a cap-sleeve ruffled bib printed top.

Of course, I still have to see if I can pull off wearing these items, since they are out of my normal range of wear (o.k., lately, given that fact that I am usually merely home with small children, that range is t-shirts and sweats or jeans). I did tell my husband that they made me feel very feminine. He didn't argue with that (or the prices). Besides, I do have a birthday coming up.

I will admit that part of me wants to push them to the back of the closet and save them for CBLI in July. After all, if I wear them now, I am liable to spill something and ruin what are for now the "newest and best clothes in my closet." But, I think I will push myself out of my comfort zone and try to find occasions to wear these clothes sooner than that.

I'll still have my clueless moments - these usually come when I am trying to decide what shoe to wear with the ensemble. Hopefully, my sons will not make derisive comments.

On Sunday, I attempted to clothe myself in beauty. My sister-in-law, Miriam, gave me the most beautiful scarf for Christmas. It is absolutely gorgeous. The colors are so vibrant and lovely - a mix of blues, greens, and light lavenders. I immediately fell in love with it.



Yet, whenever I would look at the scarf in my closet, I would hesitate pulling an outfit together to go with the scarf. My mind would envision a particular friend I have who carries off scarves with great aplomb and sports them often. She is a raving beauty and the scarves look perfectly natural on her petite, super-model-worthy frame. I thought to myself, "Now I don't want to be seen as a S---- Wannabe!"

But, the scarf is just gorgeous. What good is it doing sitting there in my closet? It wants to be worn. It wants to be appreciated. So, I pulled out a lavender t-shirt and a pale blue pair of slacks. I tied the scarf around my neck and headed to church.

When I returned home, I asked my ES to come outside and take my picture because the photo on my blog is from the dead of winter. He took one look at me and said, "What are you wearing that for?"

"Because it is pretty and the colors shout 'Spring'!"

"But, it looks gay." (I'm sure I don't need to tell you that he didn't mean "happy.")

"It is just a scarf. Lots of women wear scarves these days," I said.

"Not in Spring," he blurted.

I ignored him. He took three pictures. In this first one, I love the purple flowering bush in the background and I love that I am sort of smiling, with my eyes open (away from the sun). Still, I don't like that it shows the extra weight I have been putting on.

The next one is okay and I'm smiling.

The last one reveals too much of how I was feeling towards my son by the third picture. "Can you stop insulting your mother and just take the gosh-darn picture already??"


Is it any wonder that when I attempt to wear something beautiful, but outside of my normal choices, I end up feeling like a warthog dressed in a tutu??? Well, this warthog is going to continue trying on the tutus, while gazing at the beautiful foliage and fauna, and SMILING!