Brilliant New Words for the Dictionary

About a month ago, my friend, Jack Getz, sent me a forwarded e-mail with some new words created by individuals in the Mensa Society. I actually knew someone affiliated with Mensa at one point. It was the woman I babysat for while I was attending Wheaton (oh, the stories behind that!). She was an astoundingly sharp lady and she had an equally bright daughter. Missy, the daughter, had a very high IQ (I don't want to try to say what it was for fear that I will have remembered it wrong). They were both incredibly creative. Some of my favorite memories with the mother, Kate, were of times when we would sit in front of the television late in the evening. We would turn the sound off and create the dialogue ourselves. It was a hilarious exercise, especially because Kate was so good at it.

The e-mail attributed these words to a Washington Post article. I tried to follow the link and find the source, but couldn't. Still, these words are too funny not to pass along. I originally thought I would try to make up a whole paragraph using the words and then provide the definitions. Alas, I am not a member of Mensa, and I got stuck in the bozone layer. I'm not an ignoranus, but I'm not smart enough to use all these words in one paragraph. Darn!

So, here it is as I received it:

"Fresh Words

Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered from a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
12. Glibido: All talk and no action
13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly - or when you're drunk.
14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out
16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass."

Hope you enjoyed the laugh as much as I did. Maybe I should offer a special prize to the reader who can use all 17 words in your comment!