I have fantasized about possible solutions:
- post a guard outside the door to inspect the surface of the seat and floor prior to and after usage, then require personal responsibility for clean-up from the guilty parties.
- Charge a dime for every bathroom usage (I say it is fair, since I am the only one cleaning these bathrooms, apart from the one my husband uses and cleans on his own), and add on a fine of 50 cents for every offense to the seat or floor.
- purchase a urinal.
- invent a urinal with a self-cleaning feature.
- install hidden cameras and promise to publish truly ignoble offenses on my blog or pull out to share when friends are visiting.
My sister once suggested that I require the boys to always sit. However, the two youngest offenders manage to shoot a stream down the front of the toilet and onto the floor 90% of the time when they are sitting to do the job. At this point, the best one of the bunch is the 3 year old. But, give him time and height and I'm sure we're bound to encounter the same difficulties. Even Testosterhome admits that she has to clean her boys' bathroom every single day.
Granted, part of the problem is that the bathroom that the boys use most often is the oldest, ugliest bathroom in the house. The sink and toilet are green. The walls have a gold fish patterned wallpaper. The floor sports a different patterned tile. The only thing I like about the bathroom is the extra large mirror above the sink (with ample storage drawers - of course, these drawers flood whenever small boys play at the sink, but I'm still thankful for the drawers and mirror).
The toilet has been there so long and endured so many misguided pee streams that the grout between the tile and toilet is saturated with the stench of urine (be grateful I can't import the smell for your full understanding of the problem). I spray those areas with Lysol every time I clean up another flood of urine, but most of the time the only hope is to light a sweet-smelling candle.
The whole bathroom needs to be fumigated and remodeled. My friend, Laura, commented that her daughter wrote a letter to the tooth fairy requesting a working magic wand. If I hear tell that she actually got her wish, I may have to borrow said wand and magically transform this rotten evidence that proves my home is full of boys.
In the meantime, I'm tempted to send them outside with the dog. However, one of my other jobs today was to perform the PRM (poop reconnaissance mission - yes, just another joyful aspect of my glorious life). After filling an entire bucket, I'm back to day-dreaming about possible solutions for the boy's bathroom habits. Maybe someone could invent a toilet with a tube attached to the side. When a person of the male persuasion needs to urinate, they merely detach the tube and insert those mis-firing guns! Really, it is the 21st century! Somebody's gotta figure this out soon. Please!
4 comments:
I can relate a bit. I had a lovely surprise when I married and one day realized that weird smell was urine. And one morning I realized he wasn't even looking. "At least try and aim!!!!" I love Chlorox wipes.
Yes, Liz! That is what I use - Clorox wipes to clean those nitty-gritty parts and then I spray liberally with Lysol. The odor still does me in. Tonight, I tackled the newest bathroom - one they don't use as often. Just after finishing it, son #3 went in and accidentally sprayed all over the wall behind the toilet. He's heard me rant about this so often that he immediately said, "I'm sorry, Mommy!"
I am a lucky mom. Michael is a very neat person and his bathroom is never a problem unless his friends are over. ~Karin
Karin - Perhaps if I were tidy like you, he'd be tidy like me.
I remember an incident when I was 11. My parents had a rule that we couldn't invite friends in when we had a baby-sitter. We broke the rule and brought in our 3 year old neighbor boy. He had to use the bathroom. At this point, Tim was still a baby, so I had never observed my mother potty-training a boy. I took the kid to the bathroom, but he was too short to stand near the toilet, so I had him stand on the rim. Then, I was completely frustrated when the kid proceeded to pee all over the entire bathroom. I had to clean the whole thing up so my parents wouldn't know that we had let someone come in while they were gone.
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