Thankful

Tonight, I had headed over to Dawn Meehan's blog at http://www.mom2my6pack.blogspot.com and read that Julian (a boy she had been mentioning several times on her blog) has gone to be with the Lord. I decided to visit his web page which is called Julian's World and is on www.carepages.com. I spent almost an hour and only skimmed the surface of Julian's last several months here on earth. I watched a video of Julian from the moment they learned of his cancer up until around Halloween. I cried and I wanted to send words to this family, but don't really know what words to say. But I am so very thankful for the blessing of technology and the internet. It is so easy to get caught up in our own little world and our own little woes. When I go on-line and visit other people's lives, I am reminded to be thankful for each moment I have with my boys, even the frustrating ones. I was complaining to my mom tonight about how my MS keeps getting out of bed on the pretense of needing to go to the bathroom "just one more time." This is a boy who has, in the last four months, begun waking two and three times a night with nightmares and requests to be rocked. I always manage to get enough sleep eventually, but it is just the repeated nights - for months on end - of INTERRUPTED sleep which have been hard. And, I should say, there are many nights, when I am thinking "Man, this is such a blessing because there will come a time when he will reach the age of ES and will no longer be able or wish to be rocked or comforted." I enjoy every cuddle and middle of the night need. I love watching these little boys grow. I love seeing a pair of pajamas go from fitting fine to suddenly stretched to the limit. And, I think, how quickly this time passes. Who knows how many days God will give me with these boys? I want to enjoy every moment - even the ones where they are up at night or sick and whiny. What a blessing to be given the gift of their little lives and the opportunity to see them spread their wings and fly on their own. As I write, YS is now crying. I will go cuddle him and love him back to sleep and will then head to bed myself full of the knowledge that I am richly BLESSED.