My Heart is Full

I want to paint a picture of a blessing that will go. I know it will go, because it is similar to a blessing I used to enjoy several years ago. Ever since my marriage, we had been coming to this house for brief visits. Before kids, we spent our time relaxing on the porch, reading and watching movies. When my ES was younger, we would often take tractor rides back into the woods. But, one of our favorite activities was always throwing walnuts and sticks into the creek in the back yard.

When ES was 3 or 4, we went to visit my older brother, Mark, and his family. They live in Kentucky and we lived in Illinois at that time. We broke up the drive by stopping in at this house in Indiana and, of course, ES had to take time to throw walnuts into the creek. It is one of the key memories attached to our visits to this house. Now that we are living here, the little boys are making similar memories.

Tonight, I watched this blessing unfold again. Actually, this is a ritual we observe at least two or three nights a week, when the weather is agreeable. After dinner, my boys will clamor to go outside with their daddy. I remain in the house, cleaning up the supper dishes. I enjoy washing dishes. It is one of the few cleaning chores that I find to be relaxing and even, somehow, comforting. Here, in this house, I am able to see the little boys and their dad in the back yard as I wash up. They bring a bucket and scramble to find as many walnuts as they can. Then they head to the steep banks of the creek and begin tossing them in.

They love this time with their Daddy. Tonight, Daddy was lingering in putting on his shoes and I offered to take my YS out with his brother. YS emphatically said, "NO!" He made it quite clear that he wanted to wait for Daddy and that he really didn't want me to come along. No hurt feelings. In fact, I much prefer my viewpoint from the window. It is so precious to watch them tag along with Daddy, finding just the perfect spot, where the water is close enough for both MS and YS to toss walnuts in and hear that satisfactory splash.

I know that the thrill of throwing the walnuts into the creek won't fade, but this memory will shift and change. Their bodies will grow tall and lanky. Their tosses will arc further. They will decide to aim at specific targets. Perhaps they will even employ big brother's three man sling shot when the little boys are big enough to manage that.

But, for tonight, my heart was bursting with joy watching them frolic with their dad. Their little heads come up to his waist and every movement they make communicates how much they love this time. When MS throws, sometimes he flaps his arms in excitement. Tonight, I could tell he was feeling silly. He began to throw some of the walnuts over his shoulder so that they would land on the ground instead of plunking in the water. Of course, YS followed suit, until MS went back to throwing them into the creek.

When they finished off the bucket, they ambled up the hill, turned on our outdoor Halloween decorations and headed to the front yard to jump on the trampoline. I finished up my dishes and went out to tell them that it was time to come in. Both boys wanted to show me new skills on the trampoline. They run around in circles after one another (which they have always called "running like a chickee," don't ask me why?), jump and land on their bottoms, and roll around over each other (called a "hug roll").

I have my share of evenings when I feel frazzled and spent (last night I was frantically trying to gather things to take to a re-sale shop and it seemed like the time between dinner and bed was the chaos zone). But, tonight, I was able to enjoy the fullness of my blessings. I'm sure the down-time earlier in the day, when the boys were at school and PDO, contributed to my feeling of contentment. I was able to wash dishes and watch my little ones making memories with their Daddy. What a lucky day!